AN- BIG STUFF HAPPENING HERE.

WE HAVE THE FAMED PARODY NO JUTSU WHOSE A GREAT AUTHOR AND ONE OF THE BEST HUMOR WRITERS

PLUS!

THE INFAMOUS INUYONAS TEAMING UP ON ONE STORY FOR AN EPIC COLLAB!

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT INUYONAS'S STORIES TOO!


The village was in chaos with the moon being another witness to the destruction of one of the most powerful villages of the world.

A giant fox with nine swooping tails destroyed buildings and lives with its giant clawed paws. It roared as, with a sweep of his tails, the area behind him was left in rubble.

Minato Namikaze, Yondaime of the Leaf Village watched from a safe spot as the fox destroyed everything on its path. Next to him was the Third Hokage, a pipe on his mouth and his eyes not meeting Minato's.

He thought it strange but didn't voice it, instead he turned to the wise old man for advice.

"What do we do?" Minato asked the famed 'god of shinobi.'

The older man looked away once more, "Um… you could like, fight it."

"Fight the most powerful demon one on one?" he asked incredulously.

Hiruzen Sarutobi let out a cloud of smoke from his mouth before pointing at the village, "That is what you must protect. It is your son's legacy and now his home. Do what you must but, as Hokage, you have to stop the Kyuubi."

Minato looked at the rampaging demon fox as renowned determination filled his eyes. "You're right. Looks like I'll have to seal the Kyuubi away," his expression turned grim as he cast one last look at the wise man that looked out for everyone, "Good-bye Third Hokage."

Hiruzen said nothing as Minato left in a yellow flash.

The elderly man's shoulders slumped before he let out a sigh of relief, slapping a hand to his forehead and letting out a chuckle. Looked like he had worried over nothing.

"Damn, good thing he didn't remember that I could have just sealed the Kyuubi away at the cost of my own life," he muttered to himself.


Minato appeared before the baby Naruto, disregarding his mother of course, before taking him in his arms and leaving in a yellow flash once more and appearing before the giant demon fox.

He made the hand seals the Third Hokage had taught him and…

"Oh fuck…"


Super Cliché Naruto

Chapter One

"And that is all you need to know about your heritage," the Kyuubi smirked before glancing down and seeing his host had fallen asleep. He roared in rage, waking the five-year-old, before speaking once more, "How long have you been asleep? Have I been talking to myself this whole time?"

"Wha! A talking fox!"

The Kyuubi tried to calm itself down before a sudden pain struck his stomach and he let out a groan of pain, 'Oh fuck! Damned tacos…"

The young Naruto trembled in fear as the Kyuubi roared at him, its eyes red and the smell of evil filling the area (though it oddly smelled like beans).

Tears filled his eyes before he burst out crying in pure fear.

Kyuubi squinted his eyes and the kid continued to cry. 'Fuck now I did it,' he closed his eyes before ending his link with Naruto and letting him wake up, "I'll just wait for him to get older."


The world around Naruto turned bright as his eyes opened to reveal his room. It was full of trash, rats and graffiti with things like, 'Diez Deimon!' and 'Stoopid Phox!'

Yes, the people of Konoha were really retarded. Though it didn't come as a shock since most people would have figured out that there was only one other person with Naruto's hair color.

So, the young boy pulled himself out of bed, a few newspapers on the ground for a more dramatic effect. He picked out his clothes, dirty and torn since everybody hated him and it wasn't possible for the most influential person in the village to get him anything, before finally leaving his apartment.

He got the usual glares as he walked, a few people kicking him in the ass when he got close enough. Naruto, being just a kid didn't know what was going on, why did everybody treat him like this?

A man watched the blond walk by before glancing at the clock, 9:32. Fuck! He was late.

"Hey everyone!" he called over to a group of bystanders who turned to look at him in confusion, "It's 9:32! Demon brat fox that we hate chasing time!"

Realization washed over their faces before they pulled out several angry mob objects, some even pulling out kunai since they were ninja which made things even more dramatic.

Naruto's eyes widened in alarm before he bolted out of there, moving through stands, people, and even animals. His little legs could only get him so far before he tripped and fell on the ground, finding himself in an alley with a dead end… which was even more dramatic.

"Why would you do this to a defenseless child?" Naruto asked as tears gathered on his bright blue eyes. "Have you gone mad? To do this because of fear and misplaced anger! Please look within you to find the truth."

The crowd looked down in shame. The badly portrayed five-year-old was right, they were being too harsh on him.

A civilian looked around in shock before pointing at Naruto, "It might have been wrong but he's still badly portrayed. What kind of five-year-old talks like that?"

"You're right! Get him!"

And so the crowd began to beat the young five-year-old, stressing the age so that it can be more dramatic.

Once the beating ended Naruto staggered to his feet, using a wall to hold himself up. His wounds had already began to heal but it didn't mean that he wasn't in pain since it would be more dramatic that way.

'Naruto I can help.'

"Oh no now I have a voice in my head! Now I'm schizophrenic!"

'How in the world does a five year old what schizophrenia is? Could you be portrayed any more badly?'

"I'm going crazy!" he whined with a roll of his eyes, "Is there no end to this pointless drama I didn't really go through but people seem to want me to."

'No! Now let me train you!'

'Well… okay! But only if you let me wear black clothes and get a fox tattoo in a sexy spot.'

'Humph! I'm already on it.'

Naruto rose a brow in confusion before feeling a pain on his right shoulder. He winced before looking at it to see a sweet red tattoo of a fox.

The tattoo was the face of a fox in a red color. It had two ears and two eyes. It's whiskers were a black color as was its snout. Behind the face of the fox were two smaller tattoos of crossed sword and, that's right, I just spent a whole paragraph describing a tattoo.

"I can tell this is going to make me smexy in the future!" Naruto cheered.

'Since when is there an 'm' in sexy? I can understand a five year old making a grammatical error in another word but 'sexy?' Really?'


Our story continues in the village with Naruto running and laughing manically.

Why is he running you ask?

Well he is running away from a group of Chuunin, trained adults in the art of killing and the equivalent of a mid-level ninja.

Why is he laughing you ask?

Because he just pulled the ultimate prank. He painted the Hokage monument with obscene and crude markings. Something that would piss of the man.

The Hokage monument is the name given to the mountain of the Leaf Village since the faces of past kages, term given to the leader of a village, had been carved into it. So far it had four faces but it would change with time.

"Naruto! Get back here!"

"Never!" Naruto screamed.

'I can't believe these ninja call themselves chuunin. They can't even catch up with you, a blonde preteen whose legs are no longer than a penguin's."

'Whoa, what's up with that insult Kyuubi-chan-kun?"

'I hate your nick names.'

While Naruto and the Kyuubi had a mental debate, the chuunin continued to follow.

"How come we, a group of seasons mid-level ninja, are unable to catch a twelve-year-old academy student who, not only wears a glaring orange but failed the genin exams twice? Hell, he'll probably fail a third time soon," one of the chuunin asked incredulously.

"...If you have the energy to ask dumb questions then you have enough energy to go faster!" Another chuunin scolded.

The group continued to run.

Little did they know they had just passed their target. Who had camouflaged himself on a wall while the chuunin had been complaining.

"Suckers!" Naruto said dropping his camouflage ...thing.

'Naruto that Iruka guy is next to you.'

Said preteen ignored the voice as he watched the disappearing group of ninja, "Makes me wonder how they got to be chuunin if they can't even catch me…"

"Me too…"

Naruto yelped in surprise before turning his head at the new voice.

"Iruka-sensei!"

'I swear I just told you that.'

"Naruto...WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!" Iruka screamed.

"I snuck out of class."

"How in the world did a blonde haired, orange jumpsuit wearing, blue eyed kid with whisker marks make it past I, a seasoned chuunin with a cool battle scar across my face?"

Naruto leaned closer to his teacher at the mention of his scar, "Is it really that cool?"

"Of course," Iruka boasted, "It gets me all the ladies but that doesn't matter right now. Tell me how you snuck past me?"

"Who knows? Maybe because I might be hiding my potential and this whole class clown thing might be fake because in truth I'm really an ANBU level ninja and it's good if your opponent underestimates you."

He shrugged before continuing, "Or I might have gone back in time due to some overused reason and I'm really a 23 year old Hokage trapped in my 12 year old body and I'm really secretly training you guys by running around doing stupid things. There's also the possibility of me training myself since I never had parents, which raises the question of who took care of me the first five years of my life."

'Or because of me. Kurama the friendly fox.'

Iruka was left dumbfounded before shaking his head to regain his composure, "Whatever. I'm taking you back to the academy. You have your test coming up."

"Hey sensei, if I failed the genin exams twice how come I'm the same age as everyone else?"

"… Naruto, there's things you just don't ask."

"How did you get that scar on your face?"

"That would be an example, yes."


"Blah blah...and since Naruto decided to skip we're all going to practice transformation jutsu." Iruka explained to the class after having dragged Naruto there.

The class groaned and glared at the blonde boy.

You see, contrary to popular belief Naruto was not well liked at his school. All the students ignored him. Some even picked on him. Even teachers treated him like dirt. But Naruto still held his head high. He would be great no matter what.

As he walked to his seat he was subjugated to pathetic attempts at discreet name calling.

"*COUGH*Naruto you loser*COUGH*."

"*COUGH*Idiot*COUGH*."

"*COUGH*You suck at life*COUGH*."

"*COUGH*I'm actually sick*COUGH*."

'These idiots are really starting to make me mad. Let's kill them.'

'No Kurama. That will make me no better than the demon that they think I am.'

'So you think you're better than me? Huh? Being like me is a fucking art and you have no paint brush!'

'Seriously. What is wrong with you today?'

The class lined up and one by one each ninja in training transformed into something.

And then it was Naruto's turn.

"Naruto you better not transform into a big breasted naked blonde girl with pig tails." Iruka asked.

''Do it anyway...with fox ears.'

"Transform!"

Naruto transformed into a big breasted naked blonde girl with pig tails...with fox ears.

"Who knew he wouldn't listen?" A student with pink hair said.

"Why does she have fox ears?" Asked a female blonde.

"It's actually not that bad," another student added with an appreciative eye.

"DETENTION!" Iruka screamed.


After school on the Hokage's monument we find Naruto scrubbing away the crude markings he had painted on the stone faces.

Iruka watched over him, not wanting him to just bail in the middle of his cleaning.

"See Naruto? Now you have to clean up all the stupid markings instead of going home to an empty house. Doesn't that make you mad?"

"Not really. I'm always lonely so I appreciate every little bit of company I can get!" Naruto replied enthusiastically.

'...If only Sasuke had your attitude man...'

Iruka was stumped.

"Um...how bout...after this...I take you for ramen?"

"RAMEN!"

'OH GOD...he said the magic word.'

It took Naruto exactly 256.8 bowls of ramen to have him satisfied and Iruka with an empty wallet.

"Hey sensei can I try on your headband?"

"So you can steal it, kill me and claim I attacked you? Not a chance."

"..."

"..."

"..."

'You people make Sasuke seem happy.'

"Where did that come from?"

"Sorry Naruto, just one of the downsides of being a ninja. Paranoia."

Naruto furrowed his brows in confusion. "But that was really descriptive. Have you done something like that before?"

Iruka nodded once more, "That's also one of the things you don't ask."


This is the end of the first chapter. I'm not sure of when the next chapter will come out but hopefully we'll get it out soon.