Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind or any of the characters referred to in this fic.
The Rescue
Ch 1 - The (Un)Usual Routine
"This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live. Back to you, Steve," Roxanne finished while holding her smile. Once she heard Steve continue with his part of the broadcast and saw the little red light on Hal's camera go off, she let herself relax. She reached up to move her short brown hair out of her eyes and then rub along her nose. It always itched when she couldn't scratch it. And only when she couldn't. It didn't matter if she was tied to a chair or on camera, her nose would itch.
They had just finished up a story about the revitalization of downtown Metro City. Like many cities in America, the population was moving back into the city from the suburbs and developers were taking advantage of the situation. As little as five years ago, the prospect of going downtown when it was getting dark was too scary to consider unless you had significant backup.
"Aaaaaanndd, that's a wrap!" Hal, her cameraman, exclaimed as he took the camera off his shoulder. Hal was an overweight red-head, and he could work magic with the camera. His personality left a few things to be desired, but he was good at his job.
As they both headed for the Channel 8 News van to put up their equipment, Hal said, "You know, Roxie, there's a couple new bars like right around the corner. Want to grab a drink, or like, whatever?"
Roxanne cringed while his back was turned. Hal was a nice guy, but he asked her out all the time. He wasn't her type and she didn't really want to get involved with anyone she worked with. Talk about looking for a messy situation…
"Ooh, sorry, Hal. I have plans tonight," she replied. It wasn't exactly a lie. Her plans involve going home, relaxing, and soaking in the tub before going to bed.
As if she was tempting fate, she heard a familiar rattling sound then a hissing right before the world went black.
Headache. Check.
Being carried. Arms restrained. Check.
Smelly darkness. Check.
Dammit… That's always the defining factor. That goddamn smelly bag. If she ever gets kidnapped and that putrid scent isn't there, that's when she gets worried. That won't stop her from complaining about it though. She decided to pull one of her favorite tricks and acted like she was still unconscious to see if she could get any info from her two most frequent kidnappers.
"Sir, we're back!" Minion called loudly in his friendly voice. It really is too bad he was the loyal henchman to the resident supervillain. She figured they could be really good friends otherwise. Her frequent kidnappings and her tendency to be a workaholic kept her from having very many. And he was a talking, alien fish in a mechanical gorilla suit. How cool was that?
"Ahh, Minion! In here," Megamind's voice called from a distance. "I'm almost ready. Have you seen the strobe lights?"
Strobe lights? Really? Here's hoping he doesn't find them…
"I think they were in the box labeled 'Alley G' with the fog machines and the disco ball. You didn't see them?" Minion replied helpfully.
"Ugghh!" Megamind groaned in frustration, "I've searched a dozen boxes and I still haven't come across that one. Remind me why you wanted to attempt this plan while we are in the middle of a move?"
"Yeah, 'cause I made that decision by myself," Minion muttered quietly. Then he spoke louder, "Sir, you know that the controls are already set up at this location. It would be a major setback if we wait until the new Lair is equipped and ready."
They're moving to a new lair? Maybe she could use that. As it was, her nose was starting to itch and the bag's smell did not get better with time. Deciding that she had used up what time she could get away with, she groaned loudly then started struggling while still being draped over Minion's massive shoulder.
"Sir, she's awake," Minion informed Megamind. She didn't hear a reply, but she thought she could hear movement as the city's resident supervillain got ready for his entrance. She felt herself being lifted, but it felt like her shirt got momentarily caught on Minion. When she was placed on the chair, she instantly knew what happened. The top button on her blouse must have gotten caught under his shoulder plate and snapped off if the air she felt was any indication. And now she was showing off her bra. Awesome. And knowing Megamind, she was going to be broadcast city-wide too. This day was just getting better and better.
The bag was suddenly removed from her head and she involuntarily took a deep breath of fresh air before complaining, "Oh. My. God. Could you guys please wash the bag!"
Even while griping, she was taking in her surroundings. Minion was behind her, Megamind was more than likely in the oversized chair in front of her with its back turned, and there were a few brainbots floating around aimlessly. There wasn't any evidence in here that they were moving… Same old monitors, equipment panels, tesla coils, and blinky dials. Her thoughts broke off at the start of an evil laugh as the chair turned to face her.
"We meet again, Miss Ritchi," a smooth voice spoke from the chair as it turned to reveal the blue-skinned villain in his customary leather and spikes. She leaned back into her chair some to further present her wardrobe malfunction and watched his face for a reaction. She loved throwing him off his game and a bra-shot should do just that. It wasn't even her fault this time, and with her hands tied behind her back, it was perfect.
She didn't have long to wait. As soon as his eyes focused on her, they widened to almost comical proportions. His jaw even dropped. She wondered what his reaction would be if she would have been wearing one of her date bras instead of the plain beige one she liked to wear for work. Megamind appeared to pull himself together and quickly averted his bright green eyes.
"Miss Ritchi, cover yourself!" he demanded in a flustered tone of voice.
"Can't. Tied up," she dead-panned. Then to throw him off again she continued, "Hey. Do you guys know a realtor?" He looked at her sharply, noticed her bra again and then flushed purple before looking away again. Huh. She had never seen him blush before. That was cute…
Wait a minute.
That wasn't cute, it was… interesting. Intriguing, even. She would have to try to get him to blush again. For research purposes only, of course.
"Minion!"
"Yes, boss?"
"Get Miss Ritchi a blanket or something. She's exposed," Megamind demanded to his henchman while keeping his head turned.
She heard Minion gasp behind her and then her vision was filled with worried fish. "I am so sorry, Miss Ritchi! I'll be right back." Then he was gone. She heard him tromping off in search of a blanket, leaving her alone with Megamind.
She noticed that he was resolutely not looking in her direction. He also wasn't saying anything. Roxanne hated silence and after a moment decided to break it herself.
"So. No evil monologue today?" she asked. Then she smirked and continued, "You know you want to tell me your diabolical plans."
"All in due time, Miss Ritchi. No need to get ahead of ourselves," he replied to the wall. She could tell that he was trying to compose himself. She couldn't have that. And if she could get him to look at her, he might blush again.
For research.
"Oh, then can I try?" she asked a little cheekily. Before he could respond she continued in a dead-pan voice, "Mwa ha ha ha ha." She closed her eyes for concentration and continued in a deeper voice that somewhat imitated him, "Well, Miss Ritchi, I have you in my clutches once again. Go ahead and scream. No? Then this random device will do the trick! Still no? How about this one?" She opened her eyes to glance at Megamind to see if he was looking in her direction yet.
Instead of being flustered as she predicted, he looked furious. He was absolutely glaring at the wall with his brows drawn down and she could see the muscles clenching his jaw shut. His hands were balled into fists and he was strung as tight as a wire. For the first time in years, she was slightly afraid of her kidnapper. Then he did turn to look at her, and she wished he hadn't. His face was livid, and his eyes held anger and something else.
"Are you quite done, Miss Ritchi?" he asked her in the coldest tone she had ever heard him use. Even towards Metro Man. Helplessly, she nodded. "Know this, Miss Ritchi," He hissed out her name, "I will not be mocked in my own lair. No one said you had to be conscious to act as boyfriend bait. Minion!" The last bit was spoken into his watch.
"Yes, Sir. I've got the blanket and am on my way," Minion's voice chirped from the watch.
"Never mind that. Miss Ritchi just lost her consciousness privileges. Bring the spray. Or the Forget-Me Stick. Whichever is closer. Oh, and we're discontinuing the frequent kidnapper's card promotion. Find it and destroy it." Megamind snarled into the watch.
"Oh, Sir…"
"Just do it, and hurry, Minion," he snapped. Then he turned and stared at his monitors, totally ignoring her.
Roxanne hadn't screwed anything up this bad since she was a rookie reporter. And since when was being conscious a privilege?! She always enjoyed their banter before Metro Man showed up, and now she just screwed that up by crossing a line. And not just crossing it, but crossing it and throwing her weight around. They were kinda-sorta friends and it wasn't like she had all that many, and she doubted he had that many either.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I was out of line."
"Apologies won't change my mind, Miss Ritchi," he spoke in that cold tone again.
"I didn't think it would, but I want you to know that I am sorry."
"Words, Miss Ritchi. Only words."
She was silent and heard Minion approaching fairly quickly. When she saw him enter the room, he ignored her and headed straight to Megamind. She saw him put a hand on his shoulder and lean towards him so they could speak quietly. After a quick consultation, she saw Minion back away and give Megamind's shoulder a comforting squeeze. Minion turned and headed in her direction. Once he got closer, she saw that his friendly face was now glaring at her. He didn't say anything, just raised a night stick decorated with a skull and crossbones. Then he swung sharply downwards.
Everything went back to black.
