Title: Fairytale Ending
Author: D.R. Ward
Date: 4-29-13
Age: 13
Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki was once a popular kid, along with Grimmjow. They were enemies. But when the school found out he preferred men, well, it was safe to say he was rejected. And then Grimmjow got close to him. And then shit went down. And then this happened. And then that. And that let to other things….And this is where they ended up. ONE-SHOT. You'll like the ending.
Fairytale Ending
Ichigo Kurosaki POV
~oOo~
He was my best friend.
But I wish he was not.
He was my secret crush.
But I wish he was not.
He was my only friend.
But I wish he was not.
Because I have to watch every single breathless day of my pitiful damned life when Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was being called out by god knows who from god knows where. I have to watch when he busts his knuckles while busting other people's faces, or, on occasion, his own being treated in the exact same way. I had to sit there and patch him up and cry like a motherfucking baby when he gives me the look that says 'it's not your fault', when I know for damn sure it is. I had to live with myself when I realize that I am taking his life away from him – because I'm greedy and all I want is someone to hold on to. I especially had to live with the disgusted comments being thrown out in Grimm's directions because people are so annoying and self-preserved that they don't give a cow's burnt fucking tail about anything other than themselves.
"You actually like hanging out with that faggot?"
"What the hell are you thinking?"
"He's a vile fucking creature! Stay the fuck away from him, you might catch that disease of his!"
"Gay? You're hanging out with a queer?! Son, have you lost your mind?"
"Get the fuck out of my house."
I want to bury myself deep, deep down in the ground every single day of my life, every single class, every single minute, second, millisecond, breath, or even cry. However I am not that selfless, therefore I want to keep him by my side as long as I can without either of the two of us breaking. I knew the bonds were fraying and the edges were getting dusty between the two of us – and oh lord did I know that I would have to give him up sometime in the near future for both his and my own safety, but I just knew I didn't want to. It would tear me apart. Though it was not for me, it was for him.
Because no matter how twisted or fucked up you may call me, I loved the man known as Grimmjow Jeagerjaques.
He used to hate me. I used to hate him. We were both popular. We were both into sports. We were both smart. Athletic. Cool. You take your pick – I really don't care what you want to call us. But we hated each other's guts to the point of complete and utter oblivion; we wanted to smash the others face in twenty feet into the concrete and drink the blood up out of sheer ecstasy. However I made the first mistake. The first big mistake. Of course I didn't see it coming and expected all of my friends to be accepting of the path of sexuality I have decided to follow – but they weren't. They weren't at all.
I still remember it like an imprisoned memory that was never to be let free.
"Get the fuck out of here, Kurosaki. We don't know you anymore."
"God-fucking-shit, we were friends with a homo!"
"Who the hell do ya think ya are, ya piece of shit? Get out of our sight!"
"I can't believe I liked a gay man. I can't believe it…That's disgusting….I….Touched him…."
I was abandoned. I was abandoned hard. It hit me like a shit ton of bricks a million times over and over and over until I had enough of the constant pain, therefore leading to my thoughts breaking through my mind – as well as through my eyes. Tears flowed freely down my fragile frame and I realized, just then, how weak I was. How weak I had always been compared to the world – it was disgusting. I was disgusting. I remember, clear as day, how the next morning as school when everyone, and I mean everyone, ignored me, not even glancing by as I had passed. But then Grimmjow popped up – there he was! In the midst of everything, he upright said the thing that had changed my life forever.
"Wha' the fuck is up with everyone, Kurosaki? They all act like ya got some fuckin' dis –…" He was cut off.
Rukia, one of my friends from back when I was still 'straight', snarled. "He has a disease, Grimmjow! That fucker's gay! A fag! A whore! He's been playing us the whole time!"
Oh god, I remember his face. It was almost laughable given the circumstances. And there I recall standing, my head bowed down, cheeks flaring and body stiff as a fucking pole. But, as I thought Grimmjow would retort something like 'Holy shit, really? I was fuckin' wit' a goddamned fag!?' there was only one thing that passed his perfectly shaped lips.
"So?"
My head had shot up and my eyes had bulged into impossible measures as I realize what the bluenette had just said. People all around him had gasped and shrank back away from his nonchalant figure – but he either didn't notice or didn't care. I thought he was fucking retarded right then and there. I really did.
"A-Are you insane? T-That's disgusting!" Orihime, possibly one of the sweetest girls I knew before I realize just how prejudice they were, stuttered.
A snort passed the blue-haired man's lips as he gave her a glare. "And as I recall, yer sorry ass has been chasin' after his dick the past three god-damned years – and I almost betcha he's been gay fer all the time. He's the same fuckin' Kurosaki, dumbass."
I even remember the chills that fell down my spine in endless racks of shock as his statement. I recollect that my legs had moved faster than my logic, than my arms, than my heart – than everything that I owned. And then, then, at that very moment….I ran away from school. I didn't come back the next week. Or the week after. But the third week, I did, and Grimmjow was standing at the classroom doors giving me the scariest fucking look I have ever seen in my whole goddamned lives. If it wasn't me receiving that glare, others would have pissed their pants ten times over just to relieve their stress.
"Take a fuckin' walk with me, Kurosaki."
And after that walk, we had become frienemies. Then acquaintances. Then friends. Then close friends. Then best friends. Then somewhere along that twisted form of logic I had developed a strange crush for the man. I guess it was originally his hair that drew me to him, but then again, everything about Grimm was just too…majestic for words. His electric blue eyes, perfectly shaped, plump, rounded lips, angular cheekbones and protruding collarbone….He was just delectable. Alas, that's not something I plan on telling him anytime soon.
Or, ever was more like it.
You see, I made up my mind long ago. I would eventually get over him and move far, far away, hopefully forgetting about him and starting my life new in a place where he would never find me. If he could – and he would – find me and chase me down, I would only be causing him more trouble that I had once thought. I couldn't do that to him. I wouldn't take that life away from him – like the one that was torn from me long, long ago. Even if he was upset at first, Grimmjow would soon get over it and regain his popularity, go out with the hottest chick in school and continue on without settling down for the time being and I, and I….
What would I do?
I wasn't sure. However I couldn't worry about myself like that, it was just too vain for me to think of myself in such a way.
And I remember, I recall, I reminisce, I bask in what happened with a sort of bitter happiness when I tried to leave him. Of course I wouldn't confront Grimmjow head-on, because he would try and talk me out of it, or, if necessary, take force as a desperate measure against me leaving. So instead I went to him in the dead of night when he was supposed to be sleeping so I could maybe, just maybe steal a kiss and say goodbye one last time, before I hit the road. Though Grimmjow seemed to have other plans.
2:45 A.M
I stared at the figure on the bed with that of sorrow. My lifeless orange eyes stared at the form under the poor excuse of a bed that he was able to afford after being kicked out. I flinched. I knew it was me who caused him to leave his family, even though he had claimed that he was having family troubles long before me. Sure, I believed he was having troubles, but I was the one alone who caused him to be, for the lack of a better term, kicked out. And the worst part was – it was my entire fault. All of it. He was working three jobs because of me. He was trying to make the best of himself in hard times because of me. No teenager should have to do that – no teenager should have to work that much just so he could live.
I sat down at the edge of the bed as my heart leapt one-hundred times a second. The room was dark and silent, an eerie shadow from the moonlight casting a different set of shadows in so many other places. I fought off a shiver as the wind began to pick up through the bars that were to be considered Grimmjow's window. It was like a jail cell in here.
A twitching smile found its way on to my face as I pet the supposedly sleeping blue-haired man's sleek locks, loving the way the strands just passed through my fingers in a thin line, not snagging on anything whatsoever. As a lone tear fell down from my tear-duct to my slightly pink cheeks, a hum escaped my lips.
"Grimm…." I mutter softly as I bring down the covers that rested over my best friends angelic face. All the aging lines that Grimmjow had begun to get smoothed out and now all that was left was a teenager's face – young and sparky. I felt like bawling right then and there. "G-Grimmjow…." I murmur again as another tear slides down. I wipe my knuckles around his slightly skinner cheekbones, wondering if I was the one who caused his lack of weight. I probably was.
As I took a deep breath and stifled my cries, all that was left was a soundless sob. The still-silent room became a good three or four degrees colder.
"G-God, Grimm…I'm so sorry…." I apologize. "So sorry…." I whimper helplessly as I stand from the bed. "Goodbye, Grimm…." No reply was heard. I sighed. Did I really expect one? Really? So….So this was it. Really – it was all that was left of me, and I was now leaving it. I had to. It was the only way for both of us to live.
But I found that as I turned and tried to head for the front door that a hand held me captive. Shocked and a little scared, I whip back around to see a fierce pair of cobalt blue eyes glittering in the darkest of the room. Grimmjow stared and me and I stared back, and I realize that right then and there was the exact moment where I was caught.
Shit.
"G-G-Grimmjow?!" I stutter, albeit loudly and feminine like.
Grimmjow didn't respond as he pulled my wrist in his direction, sending me flying on top of him over the covers of his bed. I ended up straddling him as I try to regain my balance, and the blue-haired man let me do so, but kept it limited. I was still caught in his grasp. "Where are ya goin'?" Grimmjow spoke gruffly. You could tell he just got up.
"I-I-I…." I stuttered softly in that of horror. "I…." I try to breathe right. I tried so hard. Really, I did. But I was losing air quickly. "I have to go."
"Where? Why?" Grimmjow growled as he tightened his grip on my wrists.
"You know why!" I don't know how, but I suddenly felt so angry that I could burst. "Look at yourself!" I snarl and rip my wrist away from him, instead placing both my hands on either side of his still laying form. I made sure to get close up to his face. "Your skinny! Your cheeks are coming out of your skin!" I glance around. "This home is nothing! From what you used to live in…." I whimpered and whipped my face back to look at him. "I-I know you mean well by me, but you can't….You can't do this to yourself….I'm not worth it." My lips began to twitch and I found myself looking away from a pair of bright blue orbs staring in my direction.
"Ichigo, tell me somethin'." Grimmjow's sleepy voice penetrated the silence, sending a wave of erratic jolts down my very veins. I glance towards the window from which I came in.
Another tear fell down my face, but I didn't move to wipe it away. When Grimmjow knew I wouldn't, he lifted the hand that wasn't holding me in place and ran his own knuckles across my cheek, sending the bout of salt to either fall or soak in his tanned skin. I couldn't help it – I nuzzled softly into his strong, warm hands. He didn't seem to mind whatsoever. He let me do as I pleased with his hand, occasionally opening it up to palm my cheek, before going back to brushing it again. I also noted that his knuckles were protruding from his hands. I flinched.
"Yes?" I'm hesitant to reply, but I know I have to.
Before replying Grimmjow situated himself so his back was pressed against the headboard. I was still forced on his lap, but when it came down to it, I knew I didn't mind as much as I should have. Then he replied. "Do ya really think tha' I give two shits wha' I do or wha' I look like er how I live?" He replied with his thick German\Japanese accent. I suppressed a shiver. "I wouldn't be doin' this, Ichi, if I didn't think ya were worth it." He murmured as his hand began to trace miscellaneous lines around my clothed chest. I bite my lip.
What was he doing?
"I…I…" I try to come up with a coherent thought, but I realize that had become futile and I was now a victim to his magical hands. "Grimm…" I murmur softly as I clench my fingers. If I didn't go now, I would stay here forever. I closed my eyes. It was for the best, I kept telling myself, it was for the best. Wasn't it? "Grimm, I really have to go." I look down at his hands as they paused.
The cold air turned even colder as Grimmjow's brows furrowed angrily. He snarled. His grip tightened. His eyes glowed. "Yer not goin' anywhere, Ichi." He hissed. Somehow, I believed him.
"But, Grimm –…" I tried to argue, but I was found to be cut off.
"Shut the fuck up, Ichi. Ya can't leave me after all this, ya can't, ya fucker. I will hunt ya down no matter how far away ya think ya can get away from me, and I will drag you back here and keep you here forever even if ya wish not. We clear?"
Somehow, I believed him even more. "Crystal." I muttered. As my hips were released, I found that I lunged into Grimmjow's embrace, which was strangely warm considering the temperature. Grimmjow kissed my forehead. And then I knew, I just knew, that everything was going to be alright.
And after that I was with him all day, every day. I followed him like a puppy to and from all of his jobs, either sitting at a booth or watching him do manual labor while I was too young to do so. That – and he probably wouldn't let me work anyway. He still didn't know that I loved him though. I wonder how he would react. I'm sure he wouldn't be grossed – I'm positive – but he may become more distant and I would eventually find myself back at the beginning, all alone.
Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep next to him, thinking about how horrible our lives were, thinking about how stupid people were, thinking about how much they hurt innocent hearts and minds and just plainly….Cast us aside. We had dropped out of school because of….Because of them. And now, look at us, because of them. Them. Only them. But then it was everyone. Against us; they were all against us. It was lonely. Sometimes I wouldn't cry myself to sleep, but I would bawl and bawl and bawl for hours before I was finally too tired to cry anymore because I knew Grimmjow wouldn't reply to my feelings – because things like that only happened in fairytales. There would be no happy ending to this.
I hadn't seen mine nor Grimmjow's family in a total of six years. What a hexed number. Grimmjow had gotten that number tattooed on his back when he first met me and bullied me; when he was rich and prestigious and all of that shit. He claimed he got it to remember what a 'number' he did on me every time we fought.
Now the times have changed and Grimmjow regrets the tattoo. I still love it because….Because he cared enough to get it. Even if he hated me – I knew he knew I was still there, still alive.
I wondered if Grimmjow missed his parents. I personally didn't miss my father, but I did my sisters and my mother. My sisters never cared that I was gay and my mother….My mother, well, she was everything to me. And when she had passed….I don't even think I was gay yet. But I knew for sure that she would still accept me no matter what I was or what I liked.
More time had passed and Grimmjow was getting even skinnier. I stared at him in complete anger towards myself. I wanted to make it all better, I wanted to make him happy again, healthy….At least do something.
And do something I did.
There are plenty of people out there. Plenty of people who work behind the scenes or hide their preferences from the world because it would damage their reputation, plenty of people who hid behind masks of their true self to keep up a good profile. And I had found one of them.
Rukia's brother.
Byakuya Kuchiki was a rich man. He was a closet homosexual, as rumors had been going around – but oddly, not many cared. When I caught whiff of this at one of Grimmjow's jobs….I knew what I was going to do before I did it.
Grimmjow had no idea at first.
Every night, around nine o'clock, I would disappear. I would come back around ten thirty, tired, ragged, and dirty, but I got used to it quickly. Gradually the pay increased for….For my services, and I was able to get food to set on the table while Grimmjow paid the bills. And Byakuya wasn't a bad man….He was just cold. But he knew my situation. He kind of understood it. He even helped me. Sometimes chastised his sister, even, while we were in bed….But it wasn't what I wanted. But I knew I had to do it. But I didn't want to. But I knew I had to.
Grimmjow got suspicious after a while.
He started giving me calculating looks, which I ignored in the beginning. Instead I hummed and sat at the table with, granted, cheap food, but it was at least food.
And then he questioned me.
"Where the fuck are ya getting' money?" Grimmjow questioned as he was in the middle of taking a tentative bite to his cold food. I glanced away in shame. I hope the dim lighting hid my blush.
"Uh, numerous little jobs, y'know, just little things…." I twiddled my thumbs as I stare at my empty plate. I ate that fast.
"Like wha'?" Grimm leaned back and gave me a calculating stare once more. I watched as his slightly less-muscled arms crossed around his tiny but muscled chest, wrinkling his dirty shirt in so many different directions I was unable to count. I gulped.
"Uh, y'know….Stuff…." He was going to make me say it, I knew he was. I knew it. I felt like crying again. What if he would kick me out?
"Tell me, Ichigo Kurosaki, or I swear to god I'll make sure I find out the embarrassin' way." Panic filled my brain as my head whips up to stare at him with that of horror. The mere image of him walking in on them….On….why they were doing….No….That couldn't happen. "And don't ya fuckin' dare lie." The demanding tone made me flinch. I whimpered.
My fists clenched on the table.
"I…." I closed my eyes. Deep breath, Kurosaki, you are alright. Yeah, right.
"Go on." Grimmjow was getting impatient.
"Grimm….P-Please don't be mad." I whimper as I stare helplessly at the empty broken plate. After a few seconds Grimmjow grunted – and I knew that was the closest I would get to consolation. At that moment I closed my eyes and let the wetness drip from my eyes once again, feeling the salt drag all the way from my tear duct down my pale, boney cheek, and down to splatter on the wooden table. "Do you remember Byakuya, Rukia's brother?" I asked him, shaking a bit.
"Yeah." I wouldn't meet his eyes.
"There was that rumor….Going around at your work….T-That he preferred me…men…" I stutter.
Silence was the only thing I was received with. I began crying harder. "We needed money, Grimm. We're going to die, and he was kind, and I – and we – he paid me to do….it….and it worked, Grimm! We have food! We have something we can actually –…."
I was cut off. "Ya take one more goddamned step toward him and I will personally kill him. And don't you fuckin' dare think I won't, Kurosaki, because I will." I flinched. My surname was used. Grimmjow was upset. Really upset.
"I-I'm sorry…." Was the only thing I could rebuttal.
"Yeah, I kno' ya are." Grimmjow huffed. I could feel his gaze wash over me. "Come here." I could only obey. Grimmjow pat his lap. I sat down. I wouldn't meet his eyes. I couldn't. "Ichigo, I'm goin' ta tell ya somethin' very, very fuckin' serious an' if yer mad as me I completely understand." I had a sharp intake of breath. At his warning tone my gaze shoots up to lock against his. Worry filled my veins and I twitched. What was it…?
"I-I won't, Grimm. I won't."
Grimmjow nodded. I felt his arms, this time leisurely, wrap around my waist. He only did that when he wanted to comfort me. "I wan' ya ta kno', Ichi, that I love ya. I love ya more than fuckin' life itself. I love ya more than I love fuckin' sarcasm; I love ya more than anythin'. Ya, Ichi, are mine. And him; I don't care if he pays ya or some shit, I'm not lettin' ya go back ta 'im, yeah?"
I felt like I was going to cry.
"G-Grimm…." I whimper again. His eyes became alarmed at once and he was, I think, a little bit hurt to hear no reply. So I continued. "G-Grimm, I-I…." When I started to cry, I had to force the words out of my mouth, or they wouldn't come. "Grimm, I love you so much….I love you, I love you, I love you…."
And that night, he bedded me.
After that Grimmjow agreed to at least let me go back to Byakuya's to thank him, of course, under his supervision, and Byakuya, for once, held a slight smile on his lips. "It's the least I could do. And I do apologize for using you for….Different needs….I just couldn't find what I was looking for."
And after that, Byakuya insisted on repaying for his insecurities and sent us a check every month for our supplies. He was a fast friend and even Grimmjow warmed up to him after a while. He was our outside friend. He was quite possibly the man that brought me and Grimm together. He was a truly good guy.
We managed to buy a cheap apartment, and a used car. We only used it on emergencies. We went to a different school and hid our….Preferences with each other just so we could finish school….And in the end, we both got respectful jobs – me as a writer, and Grimmjow as, quite ironically, an editor. We weren't big yet, we weren't rich, but we were getting by.
I guess it was a fairytale ending after all.
