John Paul slumped in front of his computer. It was mid afternoon and he had just gotten up. He would've loved the life of a student if it hadn't been for all the coursework!
As well as going to HCC, he still worked at the loft a couple of nights a week. He'd also taken over Spike's slot at The Dog. He was started to get a name as a DJ and had done a few nights in Manchester and Liverpool but he didn't really care anymore.
He had only sat A Levels and went to college because his mum wanted him to, he'd never wanted to do anything but be a DJ, but these days, he couldn't even muster up the encouragement about that.
He'd been at college for six months and hadn't gotten better than a C on any assignment. He didn't give them the care or attention he knew he should but they seemed so insignificant, what was the point!
He felt like he wasn't really living anymore, not since he'd walked out of the airport and Craig had let him go. He went through the motions day to day, pretending to care, pretending to be living but all he was doing was existing.
His attention was drawn to the screen as the beeping announced a new mail. It was from Craig. The first he'd had in six months.
A knot tied itself in his stomach as he looked at his ex-lover's name. A lump rose to his throat as he thought about what it might say. His hands trembled as he clicked to open it.
'I'm sorry John Paul. I'm sorry I'm not as strong as you are. You deserve to be so happy and I'm sorry I can't be the one to make you happy.
I miss you so much there aren't words to describe it, but I can't say if we were back in the airport, standing in the same place as we were six months ago, knowing what I know now, if I could do things differently.
I feel like I'm not even living anymore, without you by my side.
What's the point of life if you never really live? Surely if all you do is exist there is no point to it?
Is there a reason to just exist day to day?
Can you do me one last favour? Tell my mum I love her and I'm sorry.
I love you.
Craig'
John Paul panicked as he read the words again. He picked up his phone and dialled Craig's number. He listened as the phone rang and rang, then went to voicemail. He hung up and looked back at the screen.
"God Craig," he whispered, "What have you done?"
