Drunk and overly hyper, Lacey decides to get a Tumblr.
This is based off the wonderful roleplaying of asklaceyfrench on Tumblr. Seriously, go check out her "Drunk!Lacey" tag. You will laugh for hours. It's golden.
All questions and answers are thanks to the roleplayer and fans who send in questions, and all the characters and the show itself belong to the show writers and all that blah blah blah.
Lacey stares at the screen that is swimming before her. She waits patiently for questions, frowning when none came. Immediately she sets out a notice, waiting for the members of Storybrooke to come piling into her ask box. The first questions pops up, and she grins in excitement.
"Who do you think is the hottest person in town?"
She types, clearly drunk, with one hand. "I am. Dhu."
The second questions pops up. "How do you like your men?"
"Wiht a cane," she types, smirking at her own response, thinking she's so clever.
Another questions pops up. "You should look up Regina Mills. You could get her to loosen up, I bet."
Lacey's eyebrows raise. Regina. Wasn't she the Mayor? Excited, she begins to type quicker than before. "I KOWN REGINA. Nto even a bttole of wine adn the sheirrff with btho hands full can loosen taht up."
No one responds for a second. Then, quickly as possible, another questions pops up. "Wait, do you think Regina and the sheriff should get together?"
Lacey lets out a laugh. The image is amusing. She doesn't know the Sheriff's name, but she remembers what she looks like. Blonde, tall. Handcuffs. The woman grins and begins to type again. "Yhea…I cna get behnd taht. PISTOL WHIP HRE INTO SUBMISSOIN."
Silence in her askbox. And then another questions pops up. "Do you think if Regina and the Sheriff had sex that would loosen Regina up?"
Lacey nods furiously, shifting her drink to her other hand to type quicker. "It'll tke a cold room adn some hndcuffs myabe."
She downs her bottle, frowning when she realizes she's finished. She has to get more drinks. Groaning and muttering, she drags herself off her couch, balancing herself and dragging herself out of the door.
She stumbles on the streets, catching herself several times, hissing at people who try to help her. Somehow, she finally ends up at what she thinks it's the bar. It's not. It's the Sheriff's station.
"IIII HAVE ARRIVED," she slurs, stumbling around the desks and into the backroom.
She's met with the sight of Regina spread out on top of a desk, with Emma on top of her. Regina's wearing handcuffs, looking completely submitted. The two freeze as they come to the realization that there's someone standing at the door.
Lacey's quiet for a second before she lets out a loud laugh.
"I KNEEEEEEEEW IT. SHERIIFFFF AND REGINA SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-LALASLA MMM GET IT GURLLLL."
She stumbles out of the room and straight home, but not before calling "THANKS FOR THE DRINKIES" as she makes her way out of the station, leaving behind two very shocked women.
She collapses onto her couch, downing the drink that doesn't exist. She checks her inbox one more time. Among the several questions she finds;
"EVER USED A STRAP-ON PENIS?"
She grins, laughing hard, and answers the question before she passes out.
"GIVE THAT TO REGINA!"
