What do you mean father?!

Jaune was NOT having a good. He had forgotten his homework and gotten detention for it; he had failed the history test, and he now found himself in the Emerald Forest for a practical test of skill. Worst of all was that the cafeteria had run out of pancakes before he got there. How was he expected to hunt down Grimm on an empty stomach?

He looked around. His team mates were nowhere in sight. In hindsight, he really should have expected the launching pad to be used again for this test, but hindsight, as they say, is 20/20.

He was so busy thinking on how bad he had it that he didn't notice walking into a Death Stalker. He only realized it was there when he crashed into its side and looked up.

'Hmm…This looks vaguely familiar.'

He looked up when a shadow fell upon he noticed that the stalker was raising its tail.

'Definitely familiar.'

He screamed and threw himself to a side to avoid being turned into a pancake. He drew Crocea Mors and his shield, even though he knew that the chances of him beating a Death Stalker alone were…

Well, suffice it to say that there was a higher chance of Weiss suddenly deciding to confess her undying love for him.

So, considering his options, he decided to do what every good, smart hero would do in a hopeless situation: he turned and ran.

Never let it be said that Jaune Arc was completely brain dead!

The deathstalker gave chase and Jaune found himself running faster than he ever had. He was actually moving faster than the stalker! Maybe he could make it! Maybe he could get away from it!

Then Jaune tripped and fell face first.

He groaned but the scuttling behind him reminded him that Murphy was an ass and he was laughing at him right now and that he should probably get up and keep running.

He cursed gravity for being a heartless bitch and immediately pushed himself off the floor. The tail was coming down again. His training with Pyrrha paid off; he knew that trying to completely block it was insane. With it weight and momentum, he would probably break his arm if he tried.

He raised his shield and deflected the oncoming assault and twisted to a side and twisted out of the way before slashing at it with Crocea Mors.

With his heightened combat awareness, he noticed that the Stalker's pincers. He jumped back and barely managed to avoid them.

His training with Pyrrha was obviously paying off. Still, he knew that he couldn't win. Not by himself. Not without a plan.

He wondered if his team mates had heard his admittedly less than heroic scream and would come to his aid. He didn't want them too. He didn't want to be responsible for endangering his friends' lives.

With no plan, no teams and no super-secret technique, he had only one choice.

He slashed away at the Stalker, causing it to briefly and very slightly retreat. Then he turned and ran, hoping to lose the thing in the forest.

Hey, why fix it if it ain't broke, right?

The stalker gave chase again. Jaune noticed with dismay that it was closing in on him this time. He hadn't managed to buy enough time, it would seem.

Jaune narrowly avoided its tail and turned around, facing the monstrosity that really wanted to kill him.

The pincer came again and he blocked it before slashing at it. The he ducked to avoid the other pincer and jumped back to avoid the tail. He slashed away at its tail before it could draw it back. Jaune internally smiled.

The training with Pyrrha was definitely paying off.

The stalker's pincer lunged and Jaune managed to deflect it again and twist to away to a side. In that moment he saw an opening.

He put all the Aura he could muster into his sword hand and lunged.

The stalker shrieked but its tough, chitinous carapace made sure it lived and that it was angry. Really, really angry.

One of its pincer came at him. Off balanced and unprepared, Jaune was knocked away. He slammed into a tree and fell into the ground.

"Uhh…" he groaned.

What had he been thinking, trying to pierce its skull? He of all people should have known how hard it was to get through a thick head!

He tried to get up before he noticed the Stalker coming scuttling towards him. He froze. His sword had been knocked out of his grasp.

This was it then. He was going to die here, alone, unloved and unknown. He raised his shield. He was going to make the bastard pay for it.

"Get away from my father!" he heard a voice. His eyes widened when a girl with startling red hair landed in front of him and slashed away at the Stalker with an incredibly familiar sword.

'Pyrrha?' he wondered hopefully.

He got up and saw his partner somehow holding her own against a B class Grimm.

He ran towards his swords and picked it up, determined to help. Then he stopped.

The girl. She looked like Pyrrha but she wasn't Pyrrha. Her eyes were blue and her face vaguely reminded him of him mother. Her hairstyle was also different. While Pyrrha wore her hair in a ponytail, this girl wore no headband and her hair was fell freely. She looked rather nice, actually.

'Wait a minute, father?' he internally wondered as he remembered her exact words as she saved his sorry ass.

She wasn't referring to him, right? Right? It was impossible after all! She looked the same age as him and he would remember it if he had…If he had…he blushed.

Shaking those thoughts away, he decided to get off his ass and help his savior. He lunged at the Grimm and hit one its pincers, stopping it from getting the jump on the girl and knocking her away.

The girl looked at him with gratitude and…affection? Nah, couldn't be. Sure, he liked to pretend he was a suave ladies' man but the truth was that he had better chances of scoring with the statue in Beacon academy than he did with an actual girl.

He soon discarded those thoughts as the combat began anew.

The two worked well together, he noticed. In fact, the way this stranger fought reminded him of Pyrrha's fighting style. Not-Pyrrha would attack in rapid motions and Jaune would block any attacks coming towards them and countering with Crocea Mors.

Still, he knew that they would not able to slay the stalker the way things were going. They simply lacked the firepower. He looked at the stranger.

"Hey!" he called out before ducking to avoid the stalker's pincer.

"What?" she answered as she slashed away the Stalker's exposed flank.

"We won't be able to win like this!" he yelled back.

He deflected the tail and Not-Pyrrha jumped in front of him, blocking its pincer.

"What do we do?" the girl asked as she deftly dodged the Stalker's attacks and sliced away at it.

Jaune took advantage of the monster's distraction and slammed his shield into the Stalker's head, causing it to focus on him.

Not-Pyrrha then jumped into the air, and spun around mid-air, slashing away at the Stalker.

'Super Combo!' his mind declared as she landed.

"Running sounds like a good i-" he couldn't finish due to being rudely interrupted by the stalker's pincer.

He flew away again and slammed against the same, damned tree.

He cursed the stupid tree for growing there.

"Father!" the girl called out in a concerned tone of voice.

Okay, why was she calling him that?

She slashed at stalker before disengaging. She ran towards him.

"C'mon, get up, you can't leave me here!" she yelled at him, looking frantic.

Okay, now she was exaggerating. There was no way that would have killed him. Although the angry stalker now coming at them certainly could.

She grabbed his arm and pulled. He got back up on his feet.

"Time to go." He said out loud.

The two ran away from the Stalker, but Jaune knew that in spite of the few, precious seconds they had gotten, they would not be able to outrun the angry, angry Stalker.

The girl seemed to come to the same conclusion. She leapt forwards and rolled forward. She was facing the stalker when she got up. Her sword had also turned into a rifle.

Jaune was hit with a sense of déjà vu. He also felt surprised. So surprised in fact, the he stopped running.

That…That was definitely Pyrrha's weapon. They had the same colors, the same lengths, and the same functions. He was willing to bet his pancakes that it could turn into a spear too.

Who was this girl? Seeing her fire like that, it reminded him of his first trip to this accursed forest.

"What are you doing? Keep running! I'll hold it off!" the girl yelled at him.

No. No way. He was training to be a hero, damn it! He wasn't going to let anyone die for him! No, if she was willing to risk her life for him, he was certainly going to repay the favor.

He ignored her and charged forward and raised his blade.

"Wha-Father, no!" he heard the girl exclaim in surprise as he did.

There it was again! Why was she calling him that?

Jaune was about to commit the greatest mistake of his life when he heard another, new voice.

"You're going to get yourself killed, father!" a cheerful voice called out.

Yang suddenly dropped in, delivered a devastating punch at the stalker which briefly sent it staggering away and used that brief lull in combat to grab him by the collar and drag him away, towards the redhead before he could even try to hit the stalker.

He was about to thank her when he noticed something very unusual.

She wasn't Yang.

Yang had lavender eyes, sometimes red eyes, not blue ones. This Yang's hair was also shorter. He also noticed, and he cursed his hormones for this, that her bust was slightly smaller.

Not that he was checking her out, of course.

Please, he was a gentleman. And he was definitely not checking her out. Nope.

Not-Yang and Not-Pyrrha glared at each other.

"You." The redhead said angrily.

"Me." The blonde replied frostily.

Jaune sensed some hostility here.

"There you are, father!" Jaune looked towards the source of the voice and saw Weiss running towards them.

Except that wasn't really Weiss.

He was beginning to notice a trend here.

Jaune was…confused. Confused because they were all calling him father. Confused because they had exact replicas of all of his friends' weapons. Confused because in spite of all their similarities, they definitely weren't his friends.

Weiss would never call him father.

Not-Weiss's eyes were a different shade of blue. Whereas Weiss's eyes reminded him of the sky, Not-Weiss's eyes reminded him, strangely enough, of himself. She glared at the other two girls.

"While I am not against the prospect of you two fighting to the death here, I do not wish to see my father die here." she told them frigidly, making her similarity to Weiss even more pronounced.

The others glared at each other then back at Not-Weiss before nodding. "Let's get out of here. I can beat all of you later." The blonde declared.

"Just try it." The redhead replied with an angry frown.

"Hmph." Not-Weiss didn't even reply.

Jaune felt his confusion growing. These girls looked a lot like his friends (and acquaintances?) and even carried their weapons. Just who were these people?

Wait, they had all called him father. They all looked like his closest friends. They even carried exact same weapons.

Was it possible…

…that they were fangirls?

Ah, well, he'd ask later, when they were not being chased by a ginormous, angry scorpion.

"Let's get outta here!" he yelled, interrupting what was quickly developing into a Mexican standoff.

The three immediately stopped glaring at each other and nodded, before running after him.

The stalker, however, really wanted to kill them, so it refused to be a bro and gave chase. In hindsight, they probably would've saved a lot of time if he had managed to convince them all to run instead of having their little spat in the middle of a fight.

Then Deathstalker suddenly…flinched? Could stalkers even flinch? And briefly faltered.

The noticed a figure ahead of the shooting at with a familiar looking scythe sniper.

'Crescent Rose. Ruby!'

"Ruby!" he was relieved. Sure, he would have preferred not to have gotten anyone involved, but that particular ship had already sailed.

"Not…exactly." Not-Weiss told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked. But his question was answered the moment he saw "Ruby".

That…wasn't Ruby. She had blue eyes too and her facial structure was (surprise!) different. But that was definitely Crescent Rose and Ruby would never let anyone else use her beloved weapon.

His earlier confusion came back. With a vengeance.

"Father!" Not-Ruby called out happily.

He was now incredibly confused.

"He's not your father!" Not-Weiss exclaimed.

"Is too!" Not-Ruby yelled back, stomping her foot on the ground.

Scratch that. He was super-duper incredibly confused to infinity.

"Is not!"

These two definitely argued like his friend and acquaintance/friend.

His brain was not processing. If someone else, like, say, Not-Blake showed up, he feared his sanity would break.

"We really have no time for this." A quiet voice interrupted them.

Jaune turned to face the new voice with trepidation.

Not-Blake was standing behind him. He saw Gambol Shroud on her hand.

His mind crashed and ran into the feared blue screen of death.

Somewhere out there, Murphy was laughing his ass off right now.

Like all the strangers here, Not-Blake had blue eyes. But that was definitely Gambol Shroud. And that same cute ribbon that Blake wore to conceal her cat ears.

"You're right. I'll deal with you father-thieves after we get out of here." Not-Weiss declared imperiously.

"You're the father-thief, thief!" Not Ruby protested.

"You're all wrong, you're all father-thieves." Not Pyrrha chimed in.

The stalker's approach reminded them that they were still in a, you know, slightly, VERY dangerous situation.

They all glanced at the angry, overgrown scorpion.

"What's the plan?" Not Yang asked as she cracked her fists.

They all turned to look at him, as if hoping he had a plan.

He would have snorted if his brain weren't still in the process of rebooting.

"YEE HAW!" A new voice made itself known.

Jaune's brain crashed again when an orange haired boy fell from the air and slammed the Stalker down with a Warhammer.

That…looked like Nora but wasn't Nora. Last time he had checked Nora was a girl.

The stalker stumbled but managed to throw him off.

A black haired girl with teal eyes ran towards him. "Don't do that, again!" she yelled at him.

The orange haired boy with pink eyes smiled. "But it's fuuuun!"

The black haired girl sighed.

Not…Ren? Not…Nora? Fem!Ren? Male!Nora?

Jaune's eye started to twitch.

"Father, are you okay?" a new voice. A NEW voice. His fragile sanity wouldn't be able to handle it if…

'Gah!'

He froze and looked at the newcomer.

Not-Velvet was looking at him with concern. And that really wasn't Velvet. The Velvet he knew had brown eyes. She also did not carry a sword with her. That sword looked really familiar though.

"Wha…I mean…Who…What…" Jaune's brain was finally beginning to boot properly. "Who are you people?!" Jaune suddenly exclaimed.

All those present gave him concerned looks. Except for the stalker. The stalker was kind of an ass like that.

The assembled group all shared looks before Not-Blake stepped forward.

"We'll explain later. We need to deal with the Stalker right now." She told him.

Jaune nodded, finally starting to regain some of his higher cognitive functions.

"Fine. But I want an explanation after all of this." He declared as he readied his sword.

Everyone nodded.

"Umm…Father?" Not Ruby asked him.

Jaune looked around. Nope, definitely meant him.

"What is it?" Jaune asked. He still didn't know why they called him father, but he could wait to ask later.

"You're going to tell us what to do, right?"

Jaune just sighed. Sure, he'd taken one down before, but that been with a team. Although then again, he had been the once to come up with a plan. Maybe they could employ the same strategy?


In the end, the Stalker had gone down surprisingly easy. These strangers were incredibly skilled and with all 9 of them working together, they had managed to take down the stalker.

They had mostly been listening to him ordering them around though, because they did not seem to like each other and didn't know how to work with each other.

The battle would've been a lot shorter if he hadn't had had to yell at them to do something or to stop doing something every 10 seconds.

It had been confusing at first. The fact that he did not know even know their names did not help.

"Red! No, not you! You're maroon!" As Not-Pyrrha and Not-Ruby both turned to look at him.

"White! Yes, I mean you!" Not-Weiss shot him an incredibly betrayed look. He didn't understand why.

"Ren! No, not the 2 of you!" Fem!Ren and Male!Nora both turned to look at him. Jaune was developing a migraine.

It had been pretty hectic. Still, they had succeeded, employing an incredibly similar strategy to the one he'd used before. But with more firepower and distractions this time.

"Okay, I was promised answers. Who are you people?" Jaune asked them after his breathing returned to normal. It had been quite the ordeal, even with these familiar strangers helping.

They all looked at each other nervously.

"I…I know this is hard to believe, but we're…" Not Blake began hesitantly.

"We're from the future!" Male!Nora exclaimed cheerfully.

Jaune stared at them incredulously. Then he began to laugh.

They all shared looks again, although he couldn't identify the emotion this time.

"Right. Now seriously, who are you people?" he asked them after he managed to stop laughing. "Did Yang put you up to this?"

Not-Yang smiled slightly at that.

He normally would've been far nicer to the people he'd fought together with, but he had just gone through a truly hectic moment, he had a migraine and he really wanted answers.

"But that's the truth!" Not-Ruby protested indignantly.

Jaune snorted. "Riiiiight."

"Look, do you think anyone else would wield these weapons?" Not-Weiss asked him.

Jaune looked at her blade. Well, it certainly looked like Myrtenaster. He was still unconvinced though.

She then swung the blade and froze a poor, innocent tree.

That was definitely Myrtenaster.

They all showed him their weapons.

Crescent Rose.

Gambol Shroud.

Ember Celica.

Miló and Akoúo̱.

Magnhild.

StormFlower.

It was the last weapon that convinced him that these familiar strangers might be telling the truth:

Crocea Mors. Why was Not-Velvet using Crocea Mors?

Jaune stared, incredulously. Those were definitely his friends' weapons. And that...That was definitely Crocea Mors. He reached for his to make sure it had not been stolen during the fight.

It hadn't.

"Okay, let's say I believe you, what exact-" he began. Then he remembered that many of them had called him father. And they all resembled his friends.

'Okay, either you're their babysitter and they're all single moms or you…'

"Why were you all calling me father?!" he demanded, fearing the answer.

Then they all started to glare at each other again. Except for Fem!Ren and Male!Nora who just looked amused.

"What do you know of Multiverse theory?" Fem!Ren asked him.

Jaune had vaguely heard about it in some sci-fi.

"Not much?" he replied.

"Multiverse Theory states that there are multiple universes, each appearing when a person makes a different choice." Fem!Ren supplied most unhelpfully.

"Yeah, and?" Jaune asked, hoping the girl would get to the point.

"Well, we all traveled back, but we all come from different universes." Fem!Ren explained.

Now Jaune wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. Still, since his stint as leader of Team JNPR began, he had begun to develop the ability to think quickly and analyze situations with far more alacrity than before. Putting all his brain power together, he came up with the one question that would get directly into the heart of the matter and net him all the answers he sought.

"What."

Time travel, he could maybe believe. But they were Sliders too?

"You didn't get married in my universe." Fem!Ren told him. Then she pointed at the arguing members of their little group. "I'm guessing you married different women in their respective universes."

WHAT.

"He's my father! Your moms didn't even get married in my time!" Not-Ruby was yelling.

"I could say the same!" Not-Pyrrha yelled back.

"All of you need to accept that he's my father and not yours!" Not-Weiss was demanding imperiously.

Not-Yang was glaring at all them while punching her fists together.

Okay, this was getting ridiculous. When he had wished for girls to fight for him that one time after reading that one manga, he hadn't meant this.

And oh, gods, if they really were his daughters...He suddenly felt sick. He had been checking out Not-Yang a few moments ago. His stomach lurched, not to differently to the way it did when he was on a plane.

"Enough!" he yelled.

Everyone suddenly became quiet.

"Good," he nodded. "Now explain to me who you are and where you come from and we can discuss this civilly."

Gods, he, the class idiot was acting as the mediator. Gods help them all.

They were all staring at each other. Then Not-Blake looked directly at him.

"From what I understand, we all come from a timeline where everything goes wrong." She told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, curious.

"There was a war," Not-Weiss spoke up. "It…It didn't go too well for our side."

"Our side?" he asked her.

"The side fighting against the Grimm." Not-Pyrrha answered before Not-Weiss could. Not-Weiss glared at the redhead.

"What happened?" he had to admit he was really, really curious now.

"You died," Not-Yang snapped. "Everyone did."

Jaune's eyes widened. "What?"

"It's true. Almost everyone died. There weren't many survivors." Not-Ruby said quietly.

"The surviving humans knew that we would be overrun. There were simply too many of them," Not-Pyrrha told him. "We only had one hope left: a time travelling ritual left behind by those that defeated the Grimm the first time, when Dust was first discovered."

Okay, this sounded like the plot to a badly written movie. Seriously.

"We all used the Ritual." Not-Velvet added.

"I wasn't expecting to run into a bunch of thieves from different universes." Not-Yang interjected brusquely.

Everyone save for Fem!Ren and Male!Nora exploded at that.

"You're the father-thief!"

"You're all thieves!"

His migraine was getting worse. The Fem!Ren gave him an amused look.

"ENOUGH!" He yelled again.

They all fell silent.

"We can all deal with that later." He began sternly. They all nodded mutely. "But for now, we're going back to Beacon, understood?"

They all nodded again.

He sighed. He was too young to be a father.


"Oh, hey, Jaune!" Ruby, not Not-Ruby, but Ruby called as he approached the Academy's gates.

He waved. "Hey!" he answered with a smile.

Not-Ruby smiled and all the other…time travelers save for the Ren twins glared at her.

"So how'd you do?" he asked her as soon as he reached the main group.

She gave him the thumbs up. "Ran into a couple beowulves but it was okay!" she answered cheerfully.

"Sweet!" he told her, genuinely happy for his friend.

"How about you?" Pyrrha asked her leader.

Jaune frowned. "Not as well…"

"What happened? Run into a big, bad, ursa?" Yang interjected.

Jaune snorted. "Gods, I wish."

"Oh, did you run into a Chupacabra?" Nora suddenly asked him excitedly.

Jaune felt his confusion coming back. "What?"

Ren rolled his eyes. "Nora, Chupacabras aren't real."

Nora stomped her foot. "They are!"

"Your…charming banter aside, who are those people?" Weiss asked as she pointed at the time travelers. Weiss actually seemed unnerved by them. Which wasn't surprising, considering how they looked and what weapons they carried.

Jaune frowned. He hadn't actually thought of that. How was he supposed to explain this? Should he be blunt? Subtle?

"MOTHER!" Male!Nora exclaimed as she leapt towards Nora.

"Eh?" Nora asked. The she saw an orange blur coming her way. "EH?!"

That was as far as she got up before she was tackled by…her son.

"Nora!" Ren ran towards them, concern etched on his face.

"Did she call Nora moth-" Blake began only to be interrupted by several cries of "mother!" and "mom!" and one "father!".

Well, this wasn't how he was planning to explain, but maybe this would work.

He then remembered who their father was and knew that his life was gonna get a hell of a lot more complicated.


AN: First in the collection of random ideas that suddenly popped into my head and would not leave me alone. Obviously not meant to be taken seriously. Other than that, not much to say, really.

This probably popped into my head after I started a grind marathon in Fire Emblem Awakening while watching RWBY right after reading a little bit of Negima's harem antics.