Why am I alive? Mom and dad would have been perfectly fine with out me. they've shown me that more than once. I suck the life out of the room with my never ending black hole of a dispirit soul. I always screw up big time. Like at the party. Now they all hate me. It's like they want me to commit suicide. Every comment etches me one step closer.

I do nothing to improve the world. I just sit here…. rotting. Alone. My mind tormented in my own thoughts. "Why bother, why even try to begin with. What's the point? So everyone can hate you again? So you can just fail like the last time?" most of the time I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. I know I'll just make everyone miserable again.

How can people love each other? Mom and dad don't. Is love even real? Do I even love my self? Maybe I do want to commit suicide, maybe not. I don't even know. Maybe I should. Maybe the world would be better off without me. No one would miss me, I know that for a fact. But committing suicide would be a selfish thing to do. I also know that for a fact. So why can't I make people love me? My parents fight, my "friends" never cared. Why would they?

It seems like everyone else is happy. How? What's there to be happy about? I just don't get it. My parents tell me it's a phase, something I'll get over. But when will that be? Can it be soon? I hope so. But I feel like it will never end.

"No one understands." That's something you hear a lot of teens say, but for me it's the truest thing in the world. So far no counselor in the world has been able to convince mom and dad to just sit down with me and talk about my problems. My mental problems. Yah, I know I have them. Even Heather said so when she broke off our friendship. I was just a burden on her anyway. As always. That's why they left me. Everyone. I was a burden on them. I'm just a burden to everyone.

Even the world hates me. It's like someone put a bad luck charm on my back just to see if something would eventually kill me. And when it did, everyone would laugh. They would just stare at my unmoving body and rejoice that I was gone. Maybe even through a party, now that I wasn't there to call the cops.

But oh well. I'll just wake up tomorrow, tired from no sleep. Live one more day because I have to. That's how the world is. I guess I just have to cope….for now.