Oh yeah, I've officially lost my Kami forsaken mind.. Jup, I FINALLY got my Y/B written! It only took me.. FOREVER!! And just a warning for you Yamcha bashers.. you might not wanna read this. And if you do, and you still flame.. Well then, you'll just be proving what an idiot you are... And yes, this is sort of a tie in with The Vow. It's Yamcha's POV after he splits ways with Bulma at the hospital. And yes, I know, it sucks.. But I did what I could! :) Now that that's settled.. ON WITH THE FIC!!
Disclaimer: Wasn't me!! *evil smirk*
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Title: Never had a dream
Pairing: Yamcha/Bulma (sort of.. well, you'll see..)
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Have you ever felt as though your heart's being ripped from your chest? No, not the pain of heartbreak.. The pain of giving up everything for the sake of another. A person I'll, unfortunately, never have the chance to know. Well, not like I'd want to anyway.
Trunks.
I still can't bring myself to speak his name aloud. Childish perhaps, but I don't think my mind's realized the finality of what I've just done. I let go the only woman that's ever really meant anything to me.. The only one I've ever even remotely cared about. The one who made me give a damn.
Bulma.
Just the thought of her crying as I left is enough to bring another batch of tears to my eyes. I think back to how helpless she looked as she sat upon the bed, the tiny pink, lavender haired babe lying in the portable crib next to her, and my tears fall freely. I curse myself, not for the first time, mind you, for what I've done. For a moment, I seriously debate rushing to the hospital and taking her into my arms, saying everything I can to make things right again. But that's the part that hurts worst.. Knowing.
Knowing that I can't. Knowing that she wouldn't let me. And knowing that it's too late anyway.
I hate Vegeta more than anyone could possibly comprehend. I hope you can understand why, however. Not only did he (albeit inadvertently) cause my death, he's killed me again. Only this time, there is no King Kai, no training, no friends. There is only me.
And I'm terrified.
I've always said I'd fight for her. And I mean that still. If he ever so much as lays a hand on her, I'll fight him until my body gives out. Which I know would, in the end, be inevitable.
But I know he won't.
In his own way, Vegeta loves her. This much I can tell. If he didn't, I wouldn't be sitting here now. I'd be at the hospital with her, holding her gently as she sleeps.. But instead, I sit here, holding a picture, crying softly to myself as I sit upon what once was our bed.
There's no one in this world that I can blame for this. No one but myself. I strayed from her love, more than once, mind you, and practically pushed her into his arms. I was stupid, foolish, and completely blind to what I had. Of course, they say hindsight is 20/20.. And Kami, there's never been a more true saying. I know what's happened is no one's fault but my own, but I still can't help but feel wronged. Maybe I got what I deserved.
Maybe not.
Maybe I deserve better.. if there is such a thing.
Maybe not.
Perhaps the blame rests on both of our shoulders, and not just mine. Perhaps it's mine for pushing her away, and hers for falling for him.
But, I know that's not the case.
She loves him too, you know. And honestly, as much as it kills me to say it, they belong together. Their fiery temperaments, their pride, and most of all, their son. Bulma and Vegeta are right where they should be.
But that doesn't make it hurt any less.
I'd say that I would rather lose her to any man but the Saiyan Prince.. But that would be a lie. At least I know with Vegeta she's safe. No harm will ever come to her, and that he'd give his life to protect her. "I'd do the same" I tell myself softly, but I really wonder if I would.
Not fight for her, of course. I've done if before, and I'd do it again.
But I don't know if I could handle dying again.
Though, if it were for any reason, It would be for her.
I run my thumb gently over the glass covering the picture of the two of us, tracing over the portrait of the skin I might never touch again, when a soft woosh of air behind me alerts me to someone else's presence in the room.
Neither of us speak for a moment, and truthfully, I'm not even sure he knows I know he's there. After a moment, he clears his throat, as if announcing himself, and I take that as my cue to begin.
"I already knew you were there, Vegeta. I'm not as stupid as you'd like to think I am, you know," I call out, never once turning to face him. "and don't glare at me like that." I can almost feel his eyes burning holes in the back of my head, and I actually have to calm myself, lest my shaking voice give away how scared I am of the man.
"YES, I know I've lost my mind for letting her go, and YES, you're right about the other man being you. Oh, and NO I don't have the slightest idea as to why I'm doing this." I tell him, before standing, and turning to face the Saiyan Prince. I know how horrible I must look, eyes bloodshot, and swollen, my cheeks still wet from freshly fallen tears.
I glance at Vegeta for a split second, searching for a reason to run back to Bulma, any little thing at all.
I find nothing.
I give a little sigh before turning, gathering my things, and walking slowly to the door. I turn around yet again a mere three inches from the door, and speak the words that I never thought I would have to say. "Take care of her Vegeta, she deserves it."
My heart breaks even more as I exit, and I briefly wonder if I'm dreaming when I hear the words that follow me from the room.
Nothing more than a whisper, barely audible to the naked ear, and even then only if you'd been listening for it.
"I intend to."
And then, I smile.
Because now I know.
And knowing makes it so much easier to give my angel back her wings.
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There now, how was that? It's my first attempt at first person, so don't shoot me if it sucked, ok? It's just something that's been running around in my mind for quite a bit, and I just had to get it out there.
Sooooo.. R/R and lemme know what you think! You should all know how much I LOOOOOVE my feedback. Ok, I'm off now..
Take care guys! And I love you all!
~*Chante*~
