Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Avengers or anything.
Warnings: Spoilers for the movie Infinity War. Set after the movie (sort of).
Crossposted on my AO3 account.
IMPORTANT (KEY):
Italics are Tony's thoughts
"Bold italics are thoughts/memories of something someone said."
"Last night, I dreamt we had a kid…it felt so real"
I remembered saying to Pepper.
Sitting on the dusty and dull ground of what remained of Titan, he clutched his hand tightly. Specks of dust lingered on them as he stared unseeingly. He paid no attention to the blue robotic-like alien. Never even noticing as she uncharacteristically leads him towards the Milano to take the pair to Earth (or Terra as she knew it as).
"I don't feel so good"
The youth's voice echoed in his head. Rattling around and making his chest tighter and tighter.
"I don't know…I don't know what's happening"
Tony couldn't do anything as the desperate pleas continued.
"I don't wanna go"
I'm sorry. Oh god, Peter, I'm so sorry.
"I don't wanna go"
"Please."
I know. I didn't want this to happen. Please. Someone, please, can this just be a dream? A horrible, horrible dream in which I can wake from and no one will be gone.
"Please."
"I don't wanna go."
"I don't wanna go"
Kid. Please. Oh, God. Peter. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!
Unbeknownst to Tony, tears were streaming down his cheeks like a waterfall. The blue lady, Nebula, kept glancing at him with understanding in her oddly gentle eyes.
"I'm sorry."
Why are you sorry? It's my fault! I couldn't protect you! My god. Oh god. I can't breathe. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. My fault. Always my fault. I can never do anything right. Oh, Peter, kid, I'm sorry! Please. Please come back.
Nebula gently and slowly placed her right hand on Tony's shoulder, the bleeding man didn't notice, and led them off of the ship that had landed in Wakanda. A group of people were waiting for them as they exited.
—LINE BREAK—
"Tony? Oh, thank god, Tones, you're alright!" A black man said as he rushed over and checked Tony over in a rather maternal gesture. He frowned as he spied the bleeding gap in his side. "I need a doctor." He ordered to those behind him, but he didn't turn away from his shell-shocked friend, he glanced quickly at the blue woman before returning his gaze to his shaking friend, "What happened?" He asked her,
"Thanos stabbed him with the man's own weaponry."
"How is he not dead?" Someone asked from behind,
"The wizard traded the stone for his life. I assume this man is needed in saving the world." She answered with a shrug as the paralysed man tried to get Tony's attention,
"Tony. Tones. Come on, you need to snap-" Everyone winced at the word, "-out of it." Slowly Tony's glassy brown eyes met his,
"Rhodey?" His voice was quiet and many who knew Tony flinched at just how…different he sounded from his usual upbeat attitude.
"Yes. Yes! Come on, it's ok. It'll be alright." He murmured to his friend but he wasn't prepared for the shorter man to suddenly fall to the ground as his legs gave in. On his knees, Tony's body shook as he gripped the green ground beneath him. Mud climbing into his nails as he dug his fingers into it. Tears rolled off of his face and onto the grass.
"Oh god. My fault. My fault. Strange…he…he traded the Time stone…for…for me. I don't know why…"
"Why'd you do that?" He recalled himself asking the wizard,
"There was no other way." Strange had answered, an apology in his voice along with determination,
"There was no other way."
"There was no other way." He couldn't stop hearing those five bloody words.
"Tony!"
"He said there was no other way. No other way. He…he's gone. Along with the…"
"Are…are they all gone?" A small voice came from beside him, the two were eye to eye as Tony stared at the talking racoon -at least that's what he thought it was as his eyes were blurry with tears, "Drax? Mantis? Gamora? Quill? Are they…did they?"
"Yes. They turned to dust." The blue lady spoke with clenched fists, "My sister, however, was thrown off a cliff in Vormir. A soul for a soul." The racoon released a pained cry,
"They're…they're all…gone." Rocket whispered in distress and Thor came along to comfort Rocket by patting him on the head.
"…he's gone, Rhodey…"
"Tony, who's gone?" The colonel knelt down in front of his friend and Tony looked up, his face pale and his eyes red with tears,
"P…Peter. Oh god, Peter's gone. Rhodey, he's gone. In my arms. He begged. He…he begged…not to go. He felt…his spidey-senses…he knew what…was happening. He tried to stay. I…I don't know what…what to do. Help me. Please. Oh god. Rhodey, I don't. I can't…Oh god. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't…I can't… breathe…"
"Help! I need a doctor." Someone came rushing through and hastily took him to the medical room. That was all the group heard of Tony for several hours.
—LINE BREAK—
Rhodey looked around at the group of people around him. Everyone held trauma in their eyes no matter how some may have tried to keep it hidden. Steve looked distraught, of course, he had just lost Bucky once again. But, Rhodey noticed that he kept glancing at the door, hoping to hear something from Tony. Natasha did too. Princess Shuri was quietly weeping with her mother and Okoye. Thor was holding back tears but he too looked towards the door as he comforted a distressed Rocket. Nebula remained silent and stoic, but anyone with eyes could see she was struggling to hold her composure. Bruce…he was helping out with healing Tony…but Rhodey knew that the man would be struggling to do anything but weep at the sight of his science bro.
"Nat, have you heard from Scott, Clint, Maria Hill or Nick Fury?" Steve murmured,
"No to all. I…earlier I was looking up security surveillance all over the world. I saw Maria and Nick turn to…dust. Nick seemed to have sent a message to someone though before he…went." She answered quietly, Steve just nodded.
—LINE BREAK—
Many hours passed before Tony appeared. Bruce was at his side making sure he wouldn't fall. Tony stood shirtless in front of everyone -though with the amount of bandages wrapped around his torso, you couldn't really see his body, even the Arc Reactor was only just visible at the top. Plasters were placed over the smaller cuts he held and he took a seat silently next to Rhodey.
"Minutes before Dr Strange and Bruce appeared to tell me about…Thanos. I told Pepper that I'd had a dream the previous night. I dreamt that we'd had a kid. It felt so real." His voice was quiet but everyone heard him, slight confusion and a lot of sympathy ran across their faces, "Turns out I already had one. His name was Peter Parker. He wasn't mine biologically, but I came to look at him as my own." He looked up, "I don't know how parents do it. How they lose their children and yet some manage to continue on with their lives without falling to pieces every damn second." He took a breath and looked at his lap once more, "I had a kid. And now he's dead." Sobs crawled from his throat at the last word and Rhodey hugged his friend as gently as he could to avoid hurting Tony's wounds.
"Last night I dreamt we had a kid…it felt so real"
I heard myself saying to Pepper once again.
And now he's dead and gone.
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Bye~
