By: Emmett Cullen
For: Edward Cullen HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Edward has no dick!
Why my life sucks!
no penis
no waffles
no syrup/lube
handcuffs broke
AIDS
I got kicked off the street corner
Beat up by pimp
Am a sex slave
Collar connected to thick chain around neck is digging into your skin
leather is not very fashionable
Asslesschaps chafe
fisting hurts
wax burns
because when someone says slut you actually turn in response and say "yes?"
Sometimes you accidentally yell out "Oh, Carlisle"…. Why?
You get a hard on when you listen to Claire de Lune.
You say you love Bella. If you do then why did I see Carlisle entering your room last night and I heard "Oh… I could love no one but you, Carlisle"
You are a 108 year old virgin
You know every single word to Lady Marmalade
