The Craziness That is Crazy

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Catscratch, although I doubt anything would change if I did.

It was a perfect morning, Blik decided. Hovas had not tried to put arsenic in his cereal, Waffle was occupied with feeding his new baby newt mashed peas, and Gordan's annoying accent was not within Blik's precious hearing distance. Yes, everything was perfect.

"Open up little newty-newt. Here comes the choo-choo." Waffle said in a cooing voice to the baby.

The cooing voice was kind of annoying, but Blik wasn't about to let that ruin his perfect morning. He would just have to drown it out…

"Aww! Mister newty likes the musheid peas, doesn't he? Yes he does. Yes he does."

Blik tapped on the table with his claws, but Waffle's infuriating voice was enough to make him want to take his cereal and drown in it. There had to be another escape…beside feline suicide, that is.

In a desperate attempt for a perfect morning, Blik ran to his room to retrieve his MP3 player. He turned the volume up as high as it would go, and let the sweet sound of the Dixie Chicks soothe his soul. Now, he was going to be able to eat his breakfast in peace.

"LISTEN TO THE SONG UNCLE BLIK IS LISTENING TOO, BABY NEWTY!!!!! THAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE, ISN'T IT? HOW ABOUT WE SING ALONG!!!!!"

When Waffle and Baby Newty opened their mouth to sing, Blik decided that an outburst was the only way to solve the problem.

"A perfect morning is all I ask, but noooooooooo!!! I have Gordan handing out Scottish wisdom that doesn't make any sense, Hovas trying to kill me, and you and your darn newts getting rid of any sanity Gordan and Hovas have left behind!!!"

Blik jumped on the table. His once black fur was now a solid red.

"Why don't you all come out and say it! You live to make me miserable! You enjoy seeing me scream in frustration! You all HATE me!!!!"

"Yes," Hovas said, trying his best to hold back a smile.

Blik screamed in rage.

"If you all are going to be like this, then maybe I should take my breakfast in my room!"

At that, Blik grabbed his bowl of cereal, and made his way to the door.

"Uncle Blik is being a grumpy pants," Waffle whispered to Baby Newty, who nodded a newty yes.

"I heard that!" Blik screamed over his shoulder at Waffle as he tried his best to open the door and balance his precious cereal.

Suddenly, the door burst open, sending Blik and his cereal across the room. On the other side of the door was an excited yet exhausted Gordan.

"Guys! Come quickly! We're needed!"

Blik, who was covered in milk and soggy cornflakes, took the over turned cereal bowl off of his head, and glared at his brother. In a very angry tone he said, "Now I can't even eat. My own brothers want me to starve. It's sickening."

"But Blik," Gordan argued, "this is important."

"More important than a flying fish?" asked Waffle.

"Aye, lad. More important than a thousand flying fish."

Waffle's jaw dropped to the floor.

By now, Blik was infuriated. He was starving because his milk and soggy cereal were on his outside when everyone knew good and well it was supposed to be on the inside, not to mention the fact that he had been hit by a door and knocked into a wall. He was sure there were some broken bones somewhere in him.

Instead of taking a butcher knife and attacking his brothers (and maybe Hovas if he wasn't too tired) he stayed silent as Gordan explained his self.

"Brothers," he said with the same power he had used in his speeches after watching Braveheart for the first time, "Human Kimberly needs our help! She and the Unicorn Club are holding a secret meeting, of which we are invited to.

"It is an honour to be invited to a meeting without being a member, so I want you two be on your best behavior. Do you understand?"

Blik rolled his eyes while Waffle waved his hand in the air eagerly.

"Yes, Waffle."

"Can I bring Baby Newty?"

Gordan thought on it for a while, then shook his head.

"Leave the wee lad with Hovas. We'll only be a little while."

Waffle nodded, and went over the proper techniques of taking care of a baby newt with Hovas while Gordan decided to confide in Blik.

He gave him a grim look as he said, "Things are looking bad, my brother. Dark omens have passed by, and we have ignored them for our own convenience. We must heed the danger now that a shadow is creeping over the world."

"Gordan," Blik said as he put his hand on his brother's shoulder, "please, no more Lord of the Rings."

Sorry about the crappiness of this chapter. I needed a beginning, and my beginnings always suck. Besides that, pleeze review! I lixes it when you guys review. It makes me smile smiles happily with a little shine on my strangely perfect teeth