ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I AM NOW A MEMBER OF THE FELLOWSHIP

By: Jess

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Dude, I have some serious issues. I am writing a Georgia Nicolson/ LotR crossover. Georgia Nicolson is sucked right into LotR and joins the Fellowship! Mayhem and red-bottomosity ensues!!!! Dun Dun DUN!!! I really have too much time on my hands!!! ^_^ Hillary, you should enjoy this.

This story is going to be in 1st person, in Georgia's diary like the "Confessions of Georgia Nicolson" (the most fabbity fab fab series ever). If you haven't read the books, GO AND READ THEM NOW NOW NOW!!! THEY ARE THE FUNNIEST STORIES I HAVE EVER READ! Go read now now now. Georgia is HILARIOUS! It's almost scary how alike she and I are... *shifty eyes*

R & R!!! Flames will be used to burn down your houses and lives! Thanks a bunch! ^_^

A/N: I know some of the timing is off, like Lotr coming out in September instead of December, but for the sake of the story, live with it.

Disclaimer: Georgia and her georgy chums belong to the genius, Louise Rennison. LotR is owned by the greatest man to ever live, J.R.R. Tolkien. HUZZAH FOR BRITISH AUTHORS!!!

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sunday september 6

10:00 am

in my bedroom

Bloody hell, double poo and merde! Stalag 14 starts tomorrow! If I have to sit near Nauseating P. Green again this year I will surely commit suicide. Why does she follow me around with those goggly glasses of hers and those pictures of her Hammy hamster? Oh Christ on a bike, I will surely die if I have Hawkeye for form. Erlack!

11:15 am

Vati called me from downstairs. "Georgia, there's someone on the phone for you! Sounds like a boy!"

But it wasn't a BOY. It was a full-grown and extremely fit Sex God!!!

"Hey, Georgia!"

"Ngnnnh... Hi, Robbie."

"I was wondering if you're not too busy on Saturday that we could go see a film? We could double with Tom and Jas."

Now would be an excellent time to say, 'Of course, my fit Sex God. Anything to get a chance for snogging with you.' But instead it came out something like, "Ynnok."

"Georgia?" Robbie sounded really concerned. I could have just died right there. His smooth, sexy voice made me go completely jelliod.

"Oh. I said, 'Of course, I'd love to go.'"

"Great. I'll see you later, then."

Oh bullocks! What in the name of pantyhose will I wear???

See you later. What does that mean? SHUT UP BRAIN!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

noon

Phoned Jas.

"Hello?"

"Bonjour, mon amie. Ici Georgia."

"Bonjour Georgia. Ca va?"

"Pas mal. Jas, I have a major clothes emergency. I need to go shopping before Saturday to get a tres sophisticated outfit for the movies with Robbie."

"Tom, my mum says you can't have any of that cake! She's saving it for later! Oh, Sorry, Georgia. Tom's trying to eat some of mum's cake she's saving for dinner."

Cheers, Jas. Thanks a lot. I may as well be talking to Libby's scuba-diving Barbie. At least she won't talk to me about her boyfriend who loves vegetables as much as her. She'll listen to me talk about my amazing Sex God boyfriend, Robbie, and how we are meant to be. And she will say, 'Yes Georgia, O Wonderful One. You and Robbie are a match made in Heaven and no Wet Lindsay could ever come between your true jelliod Sex God love.'

Erlack! Shut up brain! Shut up!

monday september 7

7:15 am

in my bedroom

getting ready for school

I woke up extra early to get on the right amount of makeup and lippy in case we ran into some Foxwood lads and Dave the L. Wait... how can I honestly think about Dave when I am the girlfriend of a Sex God? Dave is quite a good snogger, though. He always does that nip libbling thing that I've taken quite a fancy to... SHUT UP BRAIN SHUT UP!

break

at school

I am now committing suicide. Hawkeye is my form teacher, none of the ace gang is in form, and I'm forced to sit next to P. Green with her goggly fish-eyed glasses.

At the beginning of break, we couldn't find Jools. The ace gang and I were walking around the school yard looking for that silly cow. She was sitting on the front steps, and you'll never guess what she was doing! If you guessed applying some lippy or flirting with the passing by Foxwood lads that skipped, you're wrong. She was READING!!! Bloody reading! While we would be terrorizing Elvis or chatting about my Sex God boyfriend! She was reading!!! I ran up to her and pulled the book out of her hands.

I looked her straight in the eye and screamed, "Jools, what in the name of pantyhose are you doing? Reading?! Are you mad?"

"No! Now give me back my bloody book! It's really good!"

"Jools, focus here. We're your friends! You'd rather read some silly book than talk to your friends?"

"No, it's just this book is so bloody good you can't put it down! I'm scaring myself because I haven't stopped reading since August!"

Jas looked at the cover. "'The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King'?"

"Oh, my mum read that," Rosie said. "She said it was really good. Did that Tolkien chap write it?"

"Yeah," Jools said. "It's a trilogy about this evil ring and this hobbit that goes to destroy it. This is the last book."

Hobbit? Evil ring? If I didn't know better I'd think Jools was from the Plant Loon like Mutti and Vati.

"What are you talking about???"

Jools decided to explain. "The story takes place in Middle Earth, a fantasy world made up by Tolkien. There were these three rings given to the Elves, seven rings for the Dwarves, and nine for Men. Then an evil bloke called Sauron made this one ring for himself and it gave him the power to rule Middle Earth."

We spent the rest of our break time listening to Jools tell us about "Lord of the Rings". It was actually quite interesting. Hobbits sound a whole lot like us. They drink, eat, drink some more, party, eat some more, drink more, party a lot more, etc. etc., then they sleep, wake up, and do it all over again.

Sounds like Uncle Eddie. Except Hobbits have big, hairy feet, and don't loose their hair. Also they don't walk around in tight leather pants and jackets trying to feel like they're still a "lad" as he puts it. But I have more important things to worry about. Like my date with the Sex God.

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Soooo? Luv it? Loathe it? REVIEW!!!

~*~Jess~*~