"If you want it"
"Arashi, please..."
He was smiling as usual, but pain and despair were clearly visible in this smile. Words failed him for the first time in his life, for it seemed impossible to express what he was feeling. Only one word –
"Please."
But she didn`t hear him. Probably because of rain falling heavily from skies. Or maybe she didn`t even want to listen to him.
"No." She whispered, but for him it sounded as if she were screaming. He felt his knees buckle. The world around seemed to be breaking into pieces.
He was pretty sure she didn`t want this just as he didn`t, maybe even more.
And she didn`t dare look into his eyes, not even lift her head. She wanted him to embrace her and say that everything would be alright, but everything was over. She preferred to break herself rather than let him die.
He desperately searched for any sign of hope, just a little ray of it, at least a shadow... But no matter how hard he tried, everything was in vain.
"Arashi!.."
She did nothing but shake her head, refusing the tears that had already filled her eyes to ruin everything.
"Please, look at me." His voice finally quavered. He felt an urge to look into her eyes and learn why she was refusing probably the greatest happiness in her life only to condemn her soul to forever suffering.
How could she possibly gaze into his eyes after all cruel things she had told him earlier? No. Impossible. And she only let her hair hide the sad expression on her face.
"Look at me, damn it!" He cried out, no longer able to hide his anger behind that fake smile of his. He knew he couldn`t touch her, nevertheless he grabbed her shoulders and shook her with immense strength.
She raised her head, and he saw... that look. The same blank expression she had on her face when she had once told him that she was no longer the Dragon of Heaven and belonged to the Dragons of Earth. "That will help", she thought, "I`ve been doing this since childhood."
"Do you really want it?" He whispered brokenly. "Don`t hide from me. Your eyes fail you anyway."
How could it be that she didn`t even realise that her defences had gone down to such a low point that he could easily make out her thoughts? How could she let it happen?
Unable to look at his face full of despair, she lowered her head yet again. "Now, I shall not let you hide from me any more." And with this thought he took her face in his hands.
"Look into my eyes and tell me you really want it! Only thus I will be able to believe you."
"I want you to live. If you die because of me... I..."
She was crying again – he had already lost count of multiple times he saw her crying...
"Don`t you want to be happy? You know that I..."
"I do." She interrupted, knowing what he was going to say. "And that`s why I don`t want to run a risk of losing you... Because of happiness."
Happiness? She was unaware of it. How can one be happy without realizing what it means?
"You are my happiness... And you know it. Please..." He whiped tears from her slightly puffy face. "Please, don`t do this. Don`t go. Be with me." This time, his voice was louder than the sound of rain. For her, and only for her.
That was the thing she feared most – that she would never find confidence to say "goodbye" looking him in the eye. Never. But maybe it was supposed to be this way?
With her eyes widened she was staring at him, desperately trying to find the strength to move around and walk out of his life forever. Wet strands of hair plastered to her forehead, but she didn`t care – it`s not the hair that she should care for.
"Sorata, please..."
His heart skipped a couple of beats.
"Promise you won`t try to protect me from every black cat."
