Disclaimer: I still own nothing!
Jane stood outside the door to Lisbon's hotel room, gathering the courage to knock. He knew she was inside, packing to leave and catch her flight to DC. Time was up. There were no more delays to be had. It was now or never. He knocked on the door.
Lisbon opened the door and without saying a word, walked back to the bed where she was packing her last bag. Her face was emotionless and hard. Jane wasn't sure if he could possibly change her mind at this point, but he figured he had nothing to lose.
"Don't go," he said.
"I have to go," she replied. "If I wait any longer, I'll miss my flight."
"That's not what I meant," Jane said. "Don't go to DC. Don't move there. Stay here. Don't break up the team."
"The team?" Lisbon said, her voice showing more than a little annoyance. "That's the best reason you can come up with?"
Jane felt his heart race faster and his desperation grow. There was no hiding his true emotion anymore. He had to lay it all on the line.
"I want you to stay with me. I love you."
Lisbon whipped around to face him, shock clearly showing, but she was even more annoyed, if that was possible.
"You what?" she demanded.
"I love you. I want you to stay here with me," he repeated. "I was us to be together. We belong together."
"You're telling me this now? After I've quit the team here, accepted another job, moved all my stuff? Why are you waiting until now?"
"I was trying to do what you wanted. When we worked on the case in New York, you said you didn't want me making decisions for you."
"WHAT?! That's your reason for not saying anything? Come on, Jane, you're a smart man. You have to know the difference between telling me what you think and making decisions for me. I asked you several times to tell me what you thought. Why couldn't you be honest with me?"
"I'm sorry. I'm a coward and an idiot. You're right, I should have said something sooner. But I have to know. Am I too late?"
For the longest moment, Lisbon simply stared at Jane. Then she let out a sigh. Jane didn't like the sound of it; he could hear her disappointment and resentment.
"Yes, it's too late, Jane. There have been several opportunities in the past few weeks where we were alone and you never said a word. Whatever you feel for me, it obviously isn't important enough to take the risk of telling me before I decided to move. I'm not convinced that in another few weeks, after your emotions have calmed down, I'll still be that important to you."
"That's not true," Jane insisted, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle. He only had seconds left. That wasn't enough time to convince her about anything.
"I'm sorry Jane. I have to go." Lisbon picked up her bags and walked out of the room.
"Wait!" Jane said, his voice cracking.
"Good-bye, Jane. Take care of yourself."
And there was nothing Jane could do but watch her go.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Jane woke with a start, heart pounding, and he was so warm. No wonder - he had fallen asleep on the couch with his jacket on. He looked down and noticed he'd also been covered with a striped throw blanket. He smiled slightly to himself. Lisbon must have done that.
He looked at his watch. 4:15 AM. He'd been asleep for a pretty long time, at least for him. Slowly, he came to the realization that he'd woken up so distraught because he'd had a dream, the most vivid and emotional that he'd had in years. It came back to him in a flood. Lisbon's developing relationship with Pike. A couple of small cases solved. Lisbon considering a move across the country and a new job offer. A human trafficking ring broken up by one of his most daring stunts yet, and it played a role in Lisbon's decision to leave Austin and make a life in DC with Pike. A marriage proposal.
None of it was real. Jane had to tell himself that a few times before his heart slowed to a normal rate. He was still in the house where he'd staged the party hours earlier. The next step, in about seven hours, was to trick Pulaski & McKaye into leading the FBI to their hideout. Now, Lisbon was probably upstairs and asleep.
The most important thing, though, is he wasn't too late.
Sure, he'd noticed the flirting going on between Lisbon and Pike when they'd first met. That had to be what set off the dream. It was jarring to realize the status quo in Jane's relationship with Lisbon wasn't going to cut it much longer. Lisbon was clearly growing tired of being lonely. Jane could sympathize. He was equally tired of it, and he knew there was only one person he wanted to share the rest of his life with. But in order to make that happen, he was going to have to act. Now.
Jane stood up and laid the blanket over the back of the sofa. He was still too warm so he took off his jacket and removed his shoes as well so he wouldn't make too much noise climbing the stairs. There was only one closed door on the second floor. Jane tapped on it quietly enough that Lisbon should only be able to hear it if she was already awake. He heard a somewhat sleepy and confused "Come in?" and opened the door.
"Jane, is everything OK?" Lisbon asked. She was in bed, laying on her side, propped up on her elbow.
"Mmm hmm," Jane replied. "Couldn't sleep?"
"No, I slept for awhile," Lisbon replied. "I just woke up about ten minutes ago. I was running through the plan for today in my mind and hadn't fallen back asleep yet. Did you have trouble sleeping?"
"Not too much, but I had a very vivid and unsettling dream that woke me up."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Do…do you want to talk about it?" Lisbon asked.
"Hmm, not right now. But I would like to tell you something rather heavy, if you're not too tired."
"I was just mentally running through the steps we're taking today to catch a couple of dangerous murderers without becoming their next victims. I think I can handle heavy. Here, come sit down. What's on your mind?"
Jane sat down on the bed and then stretched out on his side, facing Lisbon. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, then began.
"When I was away for those two years, I had so much time and solitude to think, but even after two years, there was still so much I couldn't figure out. I'm a little unsure about who I am, now that the Red John chapter is over. But one thing that I am absolutely certain about, is that I never want to go through another span of time without you in my life. I would have told you this sooner, but I didn't want you think it was another attempt to be controlling or make decisions for you. I realize now that you can't make decisions if you don't have all the facts. So I'm going to stop being a coward and tell you how I feel. I love you, Teresa. You once accused me of never thinking about you, but I think about you all the time. Every day while I was gone, every day that I was in the detention suite. I missed you so much. Last night, when we were acting like a couple during the party, I wasn't acting at all. It was the most delightful evening I've had in years. I know I still have so much progress to make, but if you're willing, I'd love nothing more than to figure it out with you."
Jane stopped talking and watched Lisbon's face for a reaction. She was looking down, not meeting his gaze. A few moments later, she titled her head up and looked at him.
"Well, that was definitely heavy," she said with a smile. Jane smiled back at her. Letting her face get serious again, she said "Thank you for sharing that with me."
"You've always been the one I could share the most with." Jane said. He reached for Lisbon's hand.
After a moment or two of silence, Lisbon quietly said, "I kept all your letters."
"What?" Jane replied.
"The letters you wrote me while you were away. I kept them all. I read them over and over. It wasn't anywhere near enough to cure the loneliness I felt, but they were all I had and I was grateful for that. I wrote you some letters, while you were in the detention suite, but I couldn't get them delivered. I still have them, too."
Jane smiled. "I'd love to read them sometime." He knew what Lisbon was trying to tell him. It was a relief to know he wasn't the only one to struggle with being honest. He reached out and pulled her to him in a hug. They stayed like that for several minutes. When they pulled back, Jane ran his hand down the side of Lisbon's face. He tilted her chin up and kissed her softly on the lips. She let out a small sigh of happiness. Jane shifted on to his back and wrapped his arms around Lisbon. When they broke off the kiss, she laid her head on his chest. They fell asleep like that for several hours.
Later that day, as they waited at the house for Pulaski and McKaye to arrive, they sat together, talking and drinking champagne. They truly had something to celebrate. It hadn't been too late.
A/N: So I seem to have this obsession with the Violets episode. I got this idea as a possibility for the finale and it turned into this little piece of fluff. I hope you enjoyed it. Happy viewing on Sunday!
