Yesterday, When The War Began

I got the idea from Ellie. She was our official record keeper for the early days of the war, back when we wanted a record – something to show we were here and we had fought. Something to prove to ourselves we weren't just anyone, we weren't just another half-dozen teenagers, not just another statistic, not just seven more people to feel sorry for.

It's been some time since the last shot was fired but I remember everything. Every word, every feeling, every bullet. I never was a writer, I am a musician but since the war I've hardly done anything musical. But now suddenly I am writing.

It was my councilor, shrink, phsyc, whatever you want to call him David's encouragement that got me started. They assigned David to me when we got to New Zealand and suprisingly he really did help me a bit. As much as anyone can help a murderer refugee from a 20th century full on war zone. I mean, how the hell do you prepare for that? You can't. We didn't. David didn't but he did a bloody good job anyway. I'm glad I agreed to see him.

So I started this today and now I can't stop. Because I have to tell the story of the biggest, most terrifying and awful thing that has ever happened to me. To us. And I can't forget even a moment of it.

I am going to see this through. Perhaps one day I might show someone. But not now, it is still too fresh, too raw. The bloody war, the event that stole everything I held dear and almost everyone too.

I still can't bring myself to consider forgiving the black swarm of foreign disease that was the army who invaded our home. My parents weren't born here but I was and it is my country as much as anyone else's. Was, I should say. But every time I think of them, them that I have to share this land with now the bile and rage and hate boils up from my gut and threatens to overwhelm me. How could anyone live with such a venomous hatred inside them? I'm scared I'll go completely mad with it. Perhaps I will. Perhaps I already have. I could kill them all. Drop a nuke right down their stolen chimneys.

But then there'd be a sad story on the news just like the Port Arthur massacre a couple of years ago and I'll just be another headline of some sad freak that slaughtered all these people for no reason the average joe could work out. So I won't. I'm not that far gone, not yet.

It's hard to sympathise with other countries that this has happened to when all I want is to rip our invaders apart. But its done now, its happened and just like with other countries throughout history I have to somehow learn to live with it.

I stick to home as much as possible – I don't want the slightest chance of running into one of them walking down one of our streets. Soon enough the world will have more or less forgotten all about us as their own troubles trump the news. And before I know it those bastards will be coming over the border on sight seeing tours and to taste the local delicacies, bring the kids to the beach for their holidays.

I can't even begin to describe what I think about that.

So I'll start with the phone call. It was a pretty quiet Sunday afternoon in the school holidays. It was just after New Year and although it wasn't too hot yet, it soon would be. My mother answered the phone when it rang. I was busy in my room reading back through a composition so I wasn't paying any attention but eventually a word or two got through to me.

"Lee? Lee? OK I get." Mum was Vietnamese and her English wasn't too great despite being in Australia since she was a little kid, and her accent was still very strong so I guess that is why Ellie had a hard time explaining she was after me.

I still wonder now, why Ellie wanted to ask me. I mean, we didn't hang out at school at all. She had her group of friends and I mine, even though the school wasn't a big one. It was tiny compared to most city schools. A few hundred students only up to Year 10. For Year's 11 and 12 you'd have to catch the bus over to Risdon Senior High.

But when I answered the phone, wondering who and why I realised who straight away. The amount of times I'd taken an order from her for the restaurant – I'd know that voice anywhere.

"Hey Lee, its Ellie."

"Hello Ellie." I answered; still pretty shocked she was calling. I'd liked her since the beginning of last year. Well, the year before last actually seeing as the date of that call was January 3rd – I was forgetting that it was a new year already.

And she was single now, she'd split with Steve at the Christmas Party at Mrs Andersons. Everyone from school was talking about it because the pair were practically inseparable unless you had a crowbar handy. Everyone was shocked. I was pleased but kept that opinion to myself.

I listened while she explained about the proposed camping trip.

"We're going to go into the mountains, up Tailor's Stitch behind our place and see if we can get right down into Hell. Corrie's coming, and Kevin. I've asked Fi, you know Fiona Maxwell? But she's still trying to convince her parents it'll be OK. Homer's coming too and I am going to call Robyn in a minute."

Homer. Great. I wasn't a big fan of Homer and his group.

"We've got to have at least six people on the trip, Mum and Dad think we'll be safer that way." She snorted. I stayed silent, listening.

"So yeah, I thought I'd ask if you wanted to come too. Should be a great week hey? Free from parental observation and we can get into the heavy stuff but don't tell anyone." She joked.

"Heavy stuff?" I frowned, confused.

"Yeah, you know. Milo. Chocolate. Tim Tams. Maybe even some Iced Vo Vo's." she answered with a laugh.

"Oh, yeah." I said. Ellie was quiet for a minute, clearly regretting asking me already, I must have sounded really out of it. She was probably wondering what heavy stuff I was on, like I'd been hanging out with Chris and Brendan or something.

"When is it?" I asked.

"Oh well we're leaving first thing on the 20th and back on 25th." She answered.

"I'm meant to be playing at the Commemoration Day Concert." I said to her, my mouth running on automatic whilst my brain started screaming at me.

It went quiet. I couldn't think of a single way to salvage this conversation and was sure I had blown it. Any second now I'd hear the receiver on the other end hang up. What was that stupid joke my kid brother Tim said last time he hung up on me? 'What sound does a reversing truck make?' Yeah, real funny Tim.

Finally Ellie broke the silence that I was spending cursing myself for being so stupid and not being able to even have a decent conversation with her on the phone.

"So do you want to come?" she asked.

I laughed with relief, trying to make it sound natural and relaxed. "It sounds more fun that the concert." I assured her. But then more silence. It was so awkward. What I wouldn't have given to be able to read her thoughts.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked. I thought quickly about how I was going to get out of the concert. My teacher Mr Robson was going to kill me. I would just have to go with the truth, I don't like to lie.

"Do you want to ask your Mum and Dad?" Ellie interrupted my thoughts.

"No, no. I'll handle them. Yeah I'll come."

"You don't sound that keen."

"Hey I'm keen!" I said almost too fast. "Just thinking about the problems." Like skipping out on the concert, like convincing my parents. Like Homer. "But its cool, I'll be there. What'll I bring?" I asked.

Ellie's voice brightened up at that and she began to relay details. Before I knew it I was hanging up and facing my mother's incredibly curious expression. No girls had ever called the house before just to speak to me. I wasn't big on the dating scene.

It took me a while to convince my mother that the trip was a good idea. She was very worried about the associated dangers. Snake bite for one, bushfires. It was a dry season. Lack of water. Rogue cattle. Snake bite. Drop Bears, rabid rabbits, bunyips and oh, yes, snake bite.

At home we spoke both Thai and Vietnamese. It was just easier on my parents as english was not the first language for either of them. And I liked being multi-lingual, it made me feel smarter and more superior to the ignorant yobs at school. Farmers kids always thought they knew everything. Well, some of them anyway. Some were OK.

So I was invited, and I was damned if I was going to miss it. The biggest bonus for me was that my father had hired a couple of the local kids in the restaurant for the summer holidays which took the strain off me. They didn't need me quite so badly.

But it wasn't easy. It took two nights to convince them that I was good to go and that we'd be safe. I had to promise to take the first aid kit, and I had to promise to be home by dusk of the 25th and I had to promise to handle Mr Robson myself. And I did.

One more call to Ellie's house a couple of days later to definitely confirm that I was coming and I was set. Hanging out for the 20th. And she gave me the latest list of my fellow campers.

Corrie of course, Ellie's very best friend. Nice girl and somebody I'd always got along with. Corrie and Ellie were practically inseparable and did everything together. As close as best friends can be. Which was hard because whenever I wanted a chance to talk to Ellie it was nearly impossible because she was either with Corrie or with Steve. Now Steve was out of the picture I still had to work around Corrie. Corrie had red hair, almost auburn and pale skin with freckles. She always had to be careful about sunburn but she didn't have the fabled red-head temper. She was one the quietest, easy going people I knew.

Kevin Holmes was also coming. He was Corrie's boyfriend and they'd been going out a few months now. Kevin was a typically rural guy. Physically strong and always very sure of himself. He came from a long line of farmers and there was no question with him what he'd do after school.

We were all supposed to be starting Year 11 at Risdon this year. Kevin was a year older than us, but was still in our year. He'd been kept down a year when he was 7 because he'd been real sick – I don't know why – and had missed most of the school year because of tests and being in hospital.

But now Kevin was loud, good at school sports and incredibly opinionated.

Robyn Mathers I didn't know so well. She was pretty religious and one of those really good students that just excels at everything. I know she and I were tied for top of the year last year. She was fairly slender and a graceful girl with a tinkly laugh. She had always seemed a bit too good to be true but I knew there was more to her than that. There was something else about Robyn, an extra something. You could see it in her eyes, in her expression. Robyn was quietly strong.

Fiona Maxwell was the beauty of Wirrawee High. Her parents both solicitors had loads of money but Fi wasn't snobby with it. She wore the same uniform as the rest of us and she hung out as one of the group. But she wasn't. She was too well spoken, too neat and tidy. She had horse riding lessons with some lady that had ridden at the Olympics and spent plenty of weekends at shows winning ribbons and silver cups, she had a private tutor, she had private piano lessons with my music teacher and she and her family often went overseas during the holidays.

Slight, slender and perfectly balanced with long blonde hair and blue eyes. Most of the boys lusted after Fi even if publicly they put on the façade that they didn't. But she didn't hook up with any of them. I think she was too shy.

Homer Yannos was my least favourite. He was loud, crude, and enjoyed winding people up for a laugh. He was the class clown and the school prankster – nobody took Homer seriously. He was Ellie's neighbor and although I laughed along with the rest when Homer did something stupid – like shimmying down the drainpipe to get out of class – I didn't have much time for him.

He is a big guy, well built and the farm work hardened his muscles. I used to think it was a shame his brain muscles were so poorly neglected but I would never have stood a chance against him. I was going to have to spend a good bit of this camping trip avoiding Homer.

And then there was Ellie herself. She and Corrie were the ringleaders of the entire trip and I could even be as cruel to say it was their fault things went the way they did. But it wasn't, not really. Ellie was a typical teenager in many ways. Typical height, typical slim build – although not as tiny as Fi. Ellie at least had some curves.

She had dark wavy hair and a wide smile. She had a light smattering of freckles over her nose that you could only really see close up and captivating grey-green eyes. Sometimes they changed between the two. But Ellie was tough. She was fun and she was funny.

So that was us. The seven teenagers that left for a camping trip when the world was hovering on the brink of change. The Magnificent Seven.

It hurts to even think about it most of the time. What I wouldn't give for it all not to have happened. What if I could go back and tell myself not to go on that trip. Would I have listened? Probably not.