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::// { Snow White :: In the Style of Yullen }

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\: Chapter I :: Introduction ; Trouble Ahead :/

::xoxox::

Abomination of the original story collected by the Brothers Grimm and the classic Disney movie.

DISCLAIMER: Well, is Yullen canon? Then no, ofcourse -man and its characters are not my creation. All this character base does not belong to me, but does to Hoshino Katsura.

Ideas by Bani[dot]no[dot]Usagi (A.K. Yullenator) and The Funny-looking Lady.

Written by Bani[dot]no[dot]Usagi.

::xoxox::

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, in some crazy fan girls' imagination, lived a beautiful queen. One day, as Queen Yuuna Walker* was embroidering into her hand bag a picture of two guys (almost) kissing**, she accidentally pricked her finger on her needle. Jerking back her hand in slight pain, she noticed that the blood had dripped onto the fresh snow that fell on her ebony bed room window sill.

Queen Yuuna quietly prayed, "Oh, so dearly do I wish that I could have a beautiful daughter with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony..."

The King, Mana Walker sat in the next seat by the coffee table they shared. King Mana was sipping his tea and reading the newspaper when he asked, "Dear, you want an heir so early? But why lips as red as blood? That's rather... Morbid. You sound like a pervert."

Queen Yuuna looked back at him dryly.

And so, Yuuna had finally had her wish (somewhat) granted. Much later next year, she gave birth to a child...

The doctor held up the baby, with tears in his eyes, he exclaimed: "Why, it's a beautiful baby girl!"***

"Oh...hah... Please...let me... see the child," the queen struggled to say.

Doctor Chaoji Han passed the cleaned baby to the king, who handed it to the mother to hold together.

But then, King Mana spoke up: "Doctor Han... I do believe that it's a baby boy."

The queen was a little disappointed, but she was happy anyway. But since the doctor got their hopes up, they sent Chaoji to the crocodile vs. alligator pit.

::xoxox::

However, the child grew to be even more attractive than the queen could've ever wished for. Though she died before her eyes could experience his drop-dead-sexiness. By the time of his mid and especially late teens, he was indeed very handsome yet beautiful, and had many fan girls. Kanda Yuu could turn heads from afar, from maybe even Russia. Even when he's pissed, vulgar, and frightening. Because that just makes him look even sexier. But anyway. He did have pale skin, though not as white as snow, 'cause that's just nasty. And he did have long, straight black locks, as black as ebony. As for red lips as red as blood? Uh... more like a thirst for blood. And lastly, he kind of did look like a girl--from far away, at least.

Queen Yuuna Walker (maiden name Kanda Yuuna) passed away along with the king's brother, by the time the new prince was about nine. The king's brother was taking care of a child himself, and so King Mana continued to look after that child for him.

The young child, Allen, was around six at the time. He had a gorgeous head of snowy white locks and an adorable, yet boyish visage. He was a very sweet and peculiar child. But Allen and the young prince didn't get along well... Well, that's an understatement.

"Hi. Uhm... Good morning, my name is Allen, it's a pleasure to meet you, Prince Y-" Allen said holding out his hand, before being cut off.

"That's Prince Kanda to you! And I don't shake hands with shorties like you, moyashi!" Kanda said with his hands crossed and trademark scowl.

Allen twitched before he replied back, with a sarcastic smile on his face, "Well, thanks for that. I would've surely regret shaking hands with such a rude prick."

King Mana panicked while he tried to hold back his son. Kanda trembled with anger while he grumbled, "Why... you little..."

::xoxox::

A few years after the queen and the king's brother died, the king himself followed. Kanda began to take care of himself and Allen at the same time, living off of their inheritance.

One day, Allen made an attempt to reach up the shelves to grab the flour, but failed terribly due his condition of being rather vertically challenged. Sighing, and after failing once more, he went to grab a stool. However, he mistakenly used one of the stools that Kanda used to throw at people who were pissing him off, (not counting Allen--he uses other methods for punishing his dear moyashi,) and thus, he fell.

"Eyaaahhh!" Allen wailed, falling on something softer than the ground.

Kanda held him in his arms and smirked.

Allen flushed angrily and beat the other man's chest in a mix of frustration and embarrassment.

"You... Who'd have thought you'd be so... cliché," Allen commented.

"Yes, who would have thought," Kanda replied monotonously.

Then Allen suddenly realized. "Oh my god, you did that on purpose, you jerk!!"

::xoxox::

Now that the King had no siblings to continue reign, the next most powerful family stepped up. The Lee family.

Komui Lee was an eccentric man, but he was kind at heart (mostly). He took care of Kanda and Allen, as he was a good friend to the old queen. Except he could become evil whenever he's fooled into thinking that someone was trying to do inappropriate things to his sister, Lenalee Lee. Among other things.

::xoxox::

As usual, the king was sleeping soundly (and sleep talking) at his desk, hugging his Lenalee pillow.

"Mmr... Can I get... another cup of coffee... Lenalee-tan... Yes, Blue Mounta... No more Blue Mountain coffee?! Mmrrr... Pink Mountain... Charliieee... the vortex is closing... candy... Sorcerer..."

Lavi, an apprentice to the castle's historian/librarian, needed his documents to be signed and stamped by the king. Now, he just needs to wake Komui up so he can force him to do his job.

Lavi smiled mischievously, then whispered into Komui's ear... "Allen groped Lenalee."

No response. --Oh yeah, Allen turned gay and already has a lover! (Lavi assumes based on Allen's behaviour.) And he'd never cheat.

Lavi pondered... Then thought of another idea. "Kanda is secretly taking creepy pictures of Lenalee."

No response. --Oh, rigghhttt. Kanda's asexual. Well... then again, he does seem to pay a lot of attention to Allen... and spend a lot of time with him... voluntarily.

He sighed. Okay, how about this? He whispered again to King Komui, "I asked Lenalee what her three measurements were."

Still no response. ...Oh yeah, a prince from the neighbouring kingdom, Prince Tyki Mikk, kind of already announced that Lavi is his. And stole a kiss from him. In public, in front of everyone in the castle. Well, that sucks. Though Lavi didn't seem to mind at the time. (Besides, he already knows her measurements.)

Okay, here goes my final attack! He loudly whispered into the King's ear, "Reever is cheating on you!"

Komui shot up instantaneously, and stomped off with an army of Komlins and deadly gear. After Lavi got him to sign the papers, who was trying his best not to die from laughing too hard, that is.

Lavi later found Tyki's sister, Princess Rhode Kamelot, passionately making out with Lenalee. Well that explains even more why his threats didn't work. But why does everyone have to be gay?

::xoxox::

As per evening, Komui was in his office, slacking off as usual. He faced towards his magic mirror-camera-glass thing that Jeryy had given him the day before and asked, holding his hand out for dramatic affect...

"Reever, Reever on the wall...

Who is the fairest one of all?"

On the other side, in the the chemistry lab, Reever replied threateningly: "...What the-- Oi, get. Back. To work. If you don't, I'll know. And when I do, I'll freaking jump through this mirror and I'll kick your ass so badly, my foot will make an indent. Then, I'll write Lenalee a letter from you saying horri-"

"...Just answer my question~!!" the king whined, hands drooping inelegantly.

"Ok, fine! Your sister, Lenalee, is the fairest of all."

Komui gyrated gleefully, then saying: "Really?!" while blushing.

"Woah, nope! I'm getting another reading!" Reever teased, "While your sister Lenalee certainly is hot--er--I mean fair, there are others fairer than she."

"WHAT?! This mirror must be broken!"

"It's true!"

"Then, ALAS! Tell me their names!" Komui said, holding his hand out again.

"Well, I'll tell you about the first of the two..."

"Skin almost as white as snow,

Hair as black as ebony...

And the blood that gleams on his sword after cutting down his enemies, shining in the moonlight-"

Komui knew at that moment who the mirror was talking about, and so he yelled angry and accusingly: "KANDA YUU!!"

"...Right. And there is another boy that rivals his beauty."

"ALAS! Tell me his name!" Komui demanded in the same, exact pose.

"Hair as white as snow-"

Komui cut him off again, "ALLEN WALKER!!"

"...No, really," Reever replied sarcastically, "NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!"

"Aww... Yes, yes..." Komui said obediently. Of course, as soon as Reever was gone, he started scheming. That's never good.

::xoxox::

xx:OMAKE:xx

Lavi: Alright, here are some of the questions for the readers of the manga!! :D Let's read the first one... It's to Allen!

Allen: Hm? C:

Lavi: This is from 15 year-old Merry Poupans-san. 'Allen-san, do you have whit'---ERRRRRR--UHMMM. LET'S JUST SKIP THIS ONE!

Allen: Ehh? Why? That's so rude!

[ Kanda just stands there behind Allen all indifferent and stuff. Sort of groping him. ]

Lavi: TT __TT I can't-- We can't answer it!!

Allen: Just read it! *Tries to snag it.*

Lavi: NOOooooo! TT __TT Don't read it!! *Flail.*

[ The paper slips out of Lavi's hand... Allen catches it. ]

Allen: 'Allen-san... Do you have white hair, even down there?'

*Long pause.*

Allen: Oh. OH. OH! UHM. Uhh...!!!

Kanda: ...Obviously, the moyashi doesn't have hair down there.

Allen: *Panics!!!* What-uhh-I... Err... That is...

Lavi: EHHH?!! O////O" You two've already gone that far?!

Allen: *Glare.*

Kanda: *Smirk.*

::xoxox::

Author's Note: Well, uhhh. Hope that wasn't too bad. XD Feedback would be nice, but I'm warning you. If you flame me, you will get at least half a page of ranting.

Oh, and the omake... Please send me some questions addressed to Kanda or Allen! :3 Interesting questions only! Rar.

And if you're a lavi................................Yuu fan, or a laven fan, (or a pokerpair fan), don't. Mention. A THING. That supports the pairings.

Seriously. I'll start giving you so much shit, it's not funny.

(Oh, and the poker pair thing?

On one of the inner covers, Allen used poker to strip Tyki AND LAVI down to their boxers... For fan service? 8'D Oh, oh, OHH! Maybe he's a Lucky/Tyvi fan as wellll? Haha, I kid.)

*1 :: Yuuna - Made from the names Yuu and Mana. XD" We named Kanda and Allen's kids--Mana, a young white-haired girl who loves soba with bean sprouts, and cheats or uses her cuteness to always get her way. And Yullen, is a boy with long jet-black hair, who eats a lot, loves mitarashi dango, is great at guessing, and has incredible luck. Both Yullen and Mana have a sibling complex. Kanda dotes on Mana the best way he can. Allen uses a metallic rolling pin to beat up Kanda when he misbehaves. And Allen makes Kanda heart furitakes. = w="

**2 :: It's SasuNaru. 8'D I want that bag. NOW. Preferably of Yullen instead of SasuNaru.

***3 :: A snookie to anyone who gets this reference. And no way can Kanda's penor be small, even from birth! He's too hot for that! D: And he PMS-es all the time--that's gotta make a lotta sperm! (Please don't take my silly jokes seriously...)

+ Moyashi = bean sprout. You gotta know that by now... D: And Kanda kept his Japanese last name because he doesn't want people to call him by his first. :3 And I don't want to call him by his first name untill Allen does. Canonly. (Which will most likely never happen. =Sob.=)