Severus Snape struggled to pay attention while the Dark Lord rambled on about Harry Potter. He distantly heard the words "ugly scarred bitch", and decided to keep making interested nods and "hmphs" of agreement while Voldemort continued on his his long and rather PMSish rant about Harry.
Ahhh, Harry. Harry Potter seemed to be the source of all this. The reason why Voldemort was in a hormonal mood, the reason why Severus Snape was posing as a triple- no, quadruple agent? He couldn't keep track anymore. First he was spying on Voldemort for the Order, and then he was spying on Voldemort for the Order while pretending to spy on the Order for Voldemort. Then when Voldemort almost found out that he was sleuthing for the Order, Snape had to complicate his plans even further, weaving a complex string of lies that barely make sense.
Voldemort thinks that he knows that Snape is on his side, when in reality the Order knows Snape is on their side, and also know that Voldemort thinks he knows that the Order thinks they think they know where Snape's loyalties lie, when they actually know they think that Voldemort thinks they know what they don't, but they DO know what they think! The whole idea greatly confused Snape, and he usually popped an Instant Day Dream into his mouth whenever someone started explaining it.
Although he would never admit it to anyone, no matter how hard they jinxed and hexed him, he enjoyed all of the marvelous jokes and interesting products that were sold at Weasley's Wizarding Wheases. About once every two or three weeks, Severus Snape polyjuiced himself into a small child and indulged in the massive array of "Wizarding Wheases" displayed on the shelves at Fred and George's joke shop. Come to think of it, he wished he had an Instant Day Dream right now. However, this and all of his other thoughts immediately vanished when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Looking up, he realized that Voldemort was stalking off to another room, muttering angrily and stomping up the stairs, his black cloak swooshing behind him. The tap on the shoulder was from Wormtail.
Snape had always been utterly repulsed by Wormtail's features, and he also had the suspicion that Wormtail was more devoted to the Dark Lord than to bathing.
"Staying
for dinner, Severus?" Wormtail asked, his long black nails
drumming on the table, "I'm cooking!"
"No,
I have buisness to attend to, Dark Lord's orders," Snape said
brusquely, quickly apparating away. Voldemort's house was strange. It
seemed as if wherever you walked you were tripping over that snake,
and Voldemort wasn't the most tasteful decorater either. Furthermore,
the idea of Wormtail's cooking almost made him vomit on the spot.
Snape wasn't sure he could stand to smell and or look at it, let
alone eat it.
Snape knew he didn't have any "buisness"
to take care of for Voldemort, but he loved seeing the look on
Wormtail's face when Snape said he was doing something important for
the Dark Lord while he was stuck cooking or doing some other chore.
Hurrying up the front pathway, Severus Snape entered Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Completely used to the shrieks of the enormous painting down the hallway, Snape paid the woman in the painting no attention and was ushered into the kitchen by Ms. Weasley. His lip curled when he saw Harry Potter sitting at the table with Granger and one of the numerous Weasleys. Snape knew that the Order was all about protecting Harry, but that didn't mean that Snape had to like Harry. Snape completely loathed him, actually. He was just the spawn of James and Lily Potter. Oh, how Snape despised James. But Lily, she was different. She was amazing. Why did she have to marry James?! She should have married ME! Snape thought angrily. Well actually... he did marry Lily in his last Instant Day Dream... Snape's thoughts were interrupted by Ms. Weasley offering him a plate of food.
"No thanks, Molly," Snape said, still not ready to eat as the thoughts of Wormtail's cooking lingered in his mind."I've just come for a chat," Snape said, casually saying the code words that would get the Potter Posse out of the way"You lot should get some more cleaning done upstairs," Ms. Weasley said, and hurried out of the room. Before they were gone Ms. Weasley snatched an extendable ear from someone."I can't believe all of the things Fred and George come up with, I just can't seem to stop them from..." Ms. Weasley trailed on."Yes, clever aren't they," Snape said, fingering his own pair of extendable ears in his pocket.
