Well I was really bored on messenger and wrote this for my friend who wasn't on. Also I had to go to the bathroom real bad! I hope you like this, Is a crack fic. I was never really good at writing. Sorry. Have fun

All characters belong to Tite Kibo and their respective owners and such.

The day was just beggining the it had been scheduled by Aizen. Well then, Ulquiorra was making tea for the whole Espada it was a tedious and precise job it had to be done one just right, who better for the job than good ole Cipher? Any who, Aizen said to hurry up cuz the ice skating was coming on in an hour. He served the tea in those long cup, with a bit of alcohol and some mint(from who knows where!) and had a platter in each hand. He was walking towards the living room. Them FOOM! Out of nowhere Grimmjow speeds by. He was chasing Lilinette. She seems to have taken Grimmjow's favorite speedo. His face was beet red as steam puffed out of his nostrills. Lilinette was pleased and stopped all the sudden. Grimmjow crashed straight into the solid counter. Blood dripped from his nose.

"You little fucker! give that back before someone sees!"

He yelled, but he slowly turned to Ulquiorra as he relized he was there. Sweat drops covered his face. Lilinette had long ago left. 15 minutes to ice skaters show.

"Sigh...Grimmjow."

Ulquiorra muttered.

"Uhhh...you saw nothing!"

He quickly grabbed the speedo, which was teal, and hid it in his pocket(he has pockets?) and ran out hte door back to his living quarters. So Ulquiorra served them all, he stared at Grimmjow in the living room thinking about that incident a while ago.

"Shit shit shit! how'd I let this happen to me?"

he banged his hand on couch. Ulquiorra walked in just then. "Hey." he said in a monotone voice as always. "What?" Grimmjow asked.

"About yesterday."

Grimmjow immediately looked away and walked to his bed to relax.

"What was that bluish cloth Lilinette was carrying?"

"Ha! like i'd tell you."

Ulquiorra responded to this he glared scarily at Grimmjow as if trying to kill him with his gaze alone.

"Okay okay! if you have ta know." Ulquiorra sat down on the couch across the bed, was some distance between them.

"It is what humans call a speedo, you use it to enhance your appearance somehow." "How?" Ulquiorra stared at him.

"Is this an interrogation or somethin?"

"No just a simple conversation, is all."

"Tch, okay then. You wear it under you pants."

"I see"

"You take off all your clothes first, leave them off and only leave the speedo, understand?"

"Yes" Ulquiorra nodded. They sat there silently, they heard a yowl from King Barrigan. Must've lost at chess?

"Well good, can you leave me the heck alone now?"

"Certainly, but you do know I have to tell master Aizen."

"You shit head! I knew it. Your always trying to do me in." He stood up and was walking towards Ulquiorra furiously.

"It's not that, I only want Aizen to be pleased." "What? you mean he... knew about my speedo already?" The face of confusion was priceless!

"Yes, he has many kinds of thing that alter his appearance, you just dont seem to notice them."

"Huh?" Grimmjow was confused and a bit saddened by all this. "Not like a brute like you would ever notice such things."

"That does it! come here you little bitch!"

Aizen walks in all smiling like. He smiles at both of them. and offers a cookie. Both quickly chow down.

"Hello, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra."

"Helloo, master Aizen."

"You shouldn't fight over such petty things. Ichigo and his friends are coming to rescue that Orihime girl."

Well they all make up and hugs and kisses. The next day Grimmjow puts on the speedo. Good thing Azien allows mirrors. It be bad if he didn't! He thought it looked rather impressive on

him. The color was perfect! He flexed a bit and pilled on the speedo. It snapped back of course, he let out a:

"Aaaahhh fucking...ooo shit fuckin ow!"

"Never again!"

He was a firin his cero at the speedo and it blew up well. He was crying a little. All the memories of him and the speedo were all that was left. Somehow Gin was patting his back saying,

"There there, it's over now it'll be alright." Grimmjow had shivers all over.

"Cheer up, I'm sure you'll find another keepsake."

" ..."

Grimmjow stared warily at Gin until he left and closed the door.

"Man, that Gin is creepier than Aizen..." o_0

Then Grimmjow went to sleep in his jammies which were long sweat pants thing.

"Ahh, time for sleep."

turns on his bed and finds Ulquiorra there with his eyes open staring .

"Omg! aaaahh!"

he fell off face first.

"Hi"

"What are you doing in my bed? when did you get in here?"

"When you were showering."

"what the hell, man..."

so they slept and Grimmjow spooned Ulquiorra. He didnt mind, he liked it much.

THE END