Forward: Hello, I am the author of this story. I wrote this after reading some Tolstoy and tickling my own ears. That was fun.

Part One: Wizard Magic!

One day, America was walking down the street singing a song, practicing to be on his favorite television program, American Idol.

"Lalalalala!" Sang America at the top of his lungs. Suddenly, a dirty old man approached America.

"Hello Dirty Old Man!" America greeted him cheerfully.

"Oy! I aint no dirty old man!" Hollered the Dirty old man.

America began to cry.

"Aww It's okay America", the dirty old man said.

"Wait! How did you know my name?" America inquired.

"Wizard Magic", the Dirty old man replied.

"No Way! You're a Wizard? Do something magic!" America said, very excited.

"Okay, but you have to take off your pants", the Dirty old wizard stated.

"Awww Jeez Louise! Why?" America asked.

"Just do it!" shouted the Dirty old wizard.

"O-okay", Said America, very shocked at the Dirty old wizard's request. Slowly America took off his pants.

"Abracadabra!" Shouted the Dirty old wizard, turning Florida into a toblerone bar.

"Wizard magic!" Exclaimed America.

Suddenly, Switzerland walked by!

"Oh boy! A Toblerone bar! I love Toblerone bars!" Switzerland shouted as he began to eat the Toblerone bar. America hollered in pain! The Dirty old wizard realized what he had done so he changed the Toblerone bar back into America's penis. Switzerland stopped what he was doing and looked at America's penis.

"Oh boy! A penis! I love penis!" Switzerland stated as he began to eat America's penis.

End of Part one...