My back was growing stiff where I rested up against Fred's grave stone.
"And remember that time we set off a dung bomb one Christmas in Aunt Muriel's chair?" I laughed. "It was your brilliant idea, Freddie. We got into a load of trouble." I had been spending a lot of my time here, at Fred's grave. It was where I felt, and literally was, closer to my twin. The breeze wafted across my face in a tickling manner, a sign that Fred was listening and laughing back. I just knew my brother was listening. I turned around and sat in the grass, facing the gravestone.
"For you, bro," I said solemnly, conjuring little lights and fireworks at Fred's grave. I closed my eyes and sighed again, turning skyward toward the sun gazing down at me. I wasn't sure how long I'd stayed that way. I got that feeling like someone was watching me. Angelina Johnson gazed over at me from about ten feet away. I just looked at her, unsure whether I should wave her over, so I did nothing but stare. Eventually she started towards me. I waited for her to approach.
"Hi," I said, breaking the silence which had lasted a moment too long after she sat in the grass not far from me. I looked over at her and she was staring down in her lap, her hair covering her face just enough that I couldn't see her eyes. Angelina looked up and turned to me, smiling yet her eyes running with tears.
She laughed lightly, "You know, I've been meaning to stop by here…but…" she shook her head, pulling a handkerchief from her pocket and wiping her eyes.
"I haven't seen you since the funeral," I said quietly, not wanting to upset her anymore than was necessary. She shook her head.
"I'm so sorry," she said, just above a whisper, looking at me sadly. I felt this strange urge to comfort her then and I found my hand on her shoulder, which she glanced at shortly before closing her eyes.
"It's been a month and I haven't even come to say hello," she said, inching towards the stone and touching it, her movement having caused my hand to fall from her shoulder.
"Angelina?" I asked.
"Hmm?" she turned to me.
"Why did you apologize? …None of this is your fault," I said, looking at her unsurely. She looked at me and looked in my eyes, fearlessly. She looked straight there and I wondered what she was trying to see. I looked back into her deep, dark eyes. They were dark, yet there was something so bright about them, something I found hard to ignore, staring back in her eyes as I was. She broke contact and stared at the handkerchief in her hand.
"He's happy you came by," I said, wanting to hear her say something again, perhaps even cheer her up. I wondered if I'd done something to offend her. She looked so sad. She seemed to be at a loss for words, opening her mouth several times as if she were going to speak, but closing it just as soon. Giving up, she sat back on the grass, crossing her legs out in front of her.
"I feel like I haven't been able to move…sleep…eat." Though she had dark skin, there was an unusual pallor about it that I hadn't noticed before when the sun peered through the clouds at us.
"How are…how are you?" she asked, staring down into her lap.
"What? Me?"
"It was so stupid of me to ask—I'm sorry," she said, immediately apologetic.
"No," I said honestly. "No, it's fine. I'm still breathing. It feels wrong, though. I still catch myself talking as if I'm talking to Fred, and when I forget and I glance to my side where he's always been, and I don't see him there…" I couldn't finish my sentence. I watched a few more drops slide down Angelina's cheeks. She dabbed them away with the delicate cloth.
"I hope I didn't disturb you, dropping by like this. I thought no one was here," she said, still sounding apologetic.
"No, not at all, Angelina." When I said her name, her head popped up and she looked over at me, almost as if she'd forgotten it was me she was talking to. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but decided that it would be best not to invoke anymore sadness than necessary. The sun hid behind the clouds again and Angelina seemed to fade just a bit. I picked up a dandelion that was sitting nearby and blew it so its seeds went flying. One landed in Angelina's hair, which she seemed not to notice. Her eyes were closed again. We sat there in silence for a little bit. The breeze kicked up and I felt a drop hit my forehead, followed by another, and then another until it was raining full-fledged. Angelina didn't even stand up or attempt to keep herself dry. I stood up when it really started to come down.
"Angelina."
She looked up at me, her dark eyes brightening a bit. I knelt in front of her then.
"Would you like to come over for dinner? We'll be eating soon, and I know my mum wouldn't mind fixing another seat at the table," I explained. She shook her head.
"G-George, I can't intrude. I didn't even mean to run into you here. I shouldn't…"
I shook my head, reaching out to touch her shoulder again. She kept her gaze on my face.
"You're going to get soaked out here, come on," I said, taking her hand lightly and standing up. She came with me and I started running in the direction of the Burrow. She followed suit as quickly as she could. When we reached the front door, I opened it and let her walk inside first. She went in and I closed the door behind me. When I turned around, she had barely moved much more than two feet inside, causing me to knock into her slightly. She stood still as if unaware of my touch.
"George?" Mum called from inside the kitchen.
"Oh, there you are. And Angelina, how are you?" she said, walking over and gesturing for Angelina to step further into the house. She stepped towards my mum with such unsure movements that I almost wanted to push her.
"I hope it's okay; I invited her for dinner," I explained.
"More than alright, George," said my mum in her usual motherly tone. She hugged Angelina for a bit. I heard Angie thank her so quietly, softly. The somberness in her voice was so distinct it was nearly faint.
"Come, dear," mum urged, guiding Angie by the shoulders into the kitchen. I went upstairs to wash my hands. I looked in the mirror as I rinsed the soap away, turning my face to the angle at which I looked most like Fred. I know I had been doing this too much, and it probably wasn't helping me through this. The water got so hot as I held my hands there. I didn't stop staring in the mirror until it burned me. Pulling my hands away and then nursing them gently, I turned the water off and went back down to the kitchen where almost everyone was sitting at the table already. Ginny smiled, having finished some short conversation with Angelina. I sat across from her at the table. She caught my face for a second and then looked down. This wasn't like her. It wasn't the Angelina I quite remembered. I wondered why she wouldn't stop looking away from me, but then realized how much I must've reminded her of Fred. There was a painful stabbing sensation in the pit of my stomach, but I tried to ignore it. Angelina was so busy staring at the table that she never realized me looking at her. The more I looked, the more her sadness brought my mood down, and strangely at the same time, filled me with the desire to comfort her. She probably thought no one else noticed the solitary tear slip down her cheek and into her tea. The longer I stared at her, despite her countenance, the prettier I noticed her to be. Mum put a plate in front of me but I couldn't stop looking at Angelina across from me. She stirred her tea absently. I felt something touch the top of my foot, startling me. I wondered if it was one of the cats when Angelina suddenly apologized. She had moved her foot under the table, accidentally touching mine. I picked up my fork and started eating. I wasn't even sure what it was as I watched her stare down at her own plate. She started to eat, but slowly, probably feeling too put out to even move. I knew just how she felt…
"But I've made the finest pie, Angelina. You would be missing out a great deal—I insist," said my mum, pushing a perfect slice of strawberry pie onto Angelina's plate. For the first time since I'd run into her, there was a genuine smile on her face. It made me feel better. She took one bite and it was clear that she was glad she had been convinced to stay. She complimented mum, who said she'd told her so. After dinner, I stayed sitting where I was across from Angelina.
"I really should be going," she said, not looking at me.
"Why? It's a Saturday. You haven't got work, have you?" I wasn't sure why, but I suddenly wanted to make her stay longer. I hadn't talked to anyone outside the family since Fred died. I think it was just nice to see a familiar face. Angelina sighed.
"Are you alright?" I asked. She glanced up at me, her eyes glazed over, but she blinked back the tears.
"Are you? George, I don't know how you do it. How can you be so sound while Fred's…?" she couldn't finish her sentence. It was my turn to blink back tears.
"It sounds strange, but I know he's happy where he is. I also know he hasn't left my side. Even though I can't see him and I can't still talk to him, I know he's with me. He never left."
Angelina smiled so slightly, but I was glad to see a different expression on her face.
"He would want us to keep laughing," I said honestly, "he would want us to keep smiling. He would want us all to still be happy. He didn't go in vain, you know," I said. Angelina nodded her head in agreement.
"You're right, George. You're absolutely right," she said. We were quiet a moment and all I could hear was the rain dancing against the window.
"I should really go now. Thank you so much for dinner," she said, starting to stand. I beat her to the position, standing out of my seat.
"Why?" I asked again.
She looked over at me curiously.
"Well, I didn't even tell my mum or dad I was going out. They're probably wondering where I am," she said, starting around the table.
"I'll show you out," I said, still not wanting her to go.
"Angie," I said as she stepped out into the rain. She paused and turned around to face me again. I stepped out into the rain where she was and looked down at her.
"I'm really glad I ran into you," I said, "It was nice to see a friend from school."
Angelina grinned slightly and then nodded. She looked up into my face with this curious stare for a few seconds, the rain beating down on us. I started to lift my hand but I wasn't sure why. Perhaps to touch her shoulder or place it on her cheek, or maybe to catch the dandelion seed that was still nesting in her dark hair, but before I could even reach, she turned around and started walking towards the marshes where she disapparated before I could say goodbye. There was something deep within me that had awakened at that moment, stretching itself and yawning in the pit of me.
