I never wanted to be a Weaver. Weaver ... what's the point? No, I always wanted to be an actor. Some say that it can drive you crazy, that it is even punished by gods ... I obviously did not believe it. If I had known ... Well, I wonder why fate is hard on me, and not my comrades. We all did plays, right? Finally, if only I could be sure that the gods punished me, I would at least know what happened to me. Is this madness really "natural"? One thing is certain: I had a donkey's head. Even this sentence sounds strange. But yes, I had a donkey's head: my friends have testified. When I thought they were making fun of me by running away during our rehearsal in the forest, well that was not the case. They saw me disfigured, turned into a donkey (well, only my head). This proves that I'm not totally crazy. Or, it would be an answer to my earlier question: the Gods have all punished us with madness, and as this punishment was collective, they all had the same hallucination. I may have been punished harder because I was more involved in the play. In any case, I am the only one to ask myself so many questions. I remember that night, that night a goddess (she could only be that), loved me, caressed me, and complimented me. Everything seemed real, and maybe it was, for a moment. It was not a dream like those I have every night: it was realistic; nothing was vague, transformed or impossible (except this beauty). I fell in love that night, in love with a mirage. Just after that night, I was trying not to think too much about it and concentrate on our representation of "Pyram and Tisbee". I thought it was only a very realistic dream. Yet, my love, it was real. My comrades laughed rather at having seen me with a donkey's head, without asking any more questions. The performance was a success, thanks, among other things, to my talents as actor. Only a strange feeling remained. My memories of that night were intact. I was convinced now, it was not a dream. I did not, of course, tell anyone about the events of that summer night. I decided to go back to the woods alone to find this woman. I left early in the morning so that my wife would not see me. She would not have appreciated my explanations and would have called me crazy. So I went back to the woods. Arrived at the exact place of our rehearsal, I waited. Waited again. Nothing, nothing happened. I had the idea to say my lines; maybe that was what brought the goddess. I started playing alone. But the lines did not make sense like that, so I also spoke for the other characters. I did the play, complete, four times. Nothing happened. I sat in the grass, then I laid down, looking at the sky. A feeling of despair and panic has invaded me. What if there was nothing? And if I was crazy? And if it was a divine punishment? Before I knew it, I had tears in my eyes. I got up, and I screamed. Rage, sadness, love, fear, and misunderstanding. I ran, ran through the woods, to find her. Through her, I also wanted to find my reason. But the wood was empty, and my life was meaningless. I waited for the night. My wife was surely waiting for me. I did not care. Maybe the goddess only appeared at night. I fell asleep in the woods.
I woke up the next day full of aches. I left the wood, I could not think anymore. I had to tell someone everything. But what if I was mistaken for a madman? Or for a sorcerer? That would bring me big trouble. So I was alone, alone in the face of this mysterious enchantment. But maybe that donkey's head was an illusion in the night. I did not see it. That would solve the problem of the donkey's head. But not the problem of dreams. My wife was waiting for me at home. «Where have you been ? ". I didn't answer her. She began to be upset. "You're kind of weird lately! What happened to you? ".
- Shut up! I screamed.
She looked at me, shocked. Then she came out of the house, slamming the door behind her. I was sweating, lying on the floor. I could not think anymore, I did not really have any sense of reality anymore. How to be sure that what our lives is not an illusion when we have already been deceived? And if the gods were angry with me, what would become of me? Or maybe I'm just crazy, maybe my involvement in acting has made me crazy. And that face, the face of this beautiful woman, I loved her, I loved her with all my heart. This love could not come from a dream. My thoughts were starting to get tangled. I was sweating, and I have difficulty to breathe. Lying on the ground, my eyes rested on my knife, laying on the table. Maybe the solution is that? Now I'm standing in front of the knife. To give a little summary of what happened did not help me. My thoughts are vaguer than before. Maybe I was dead, and I resurrected. So maybe the only way to join her is in death. And if the gods want me, as much face my divine punishment now, rather than live in this perspective. I grab the knife and I do not hesitate. My breath is cut. I am surprised by this pain. I would like to scream but I couldn't. I just have time to feel my body fall to the ground and the scream of my wife coming in. Shut up, I will join my true love.
