Author: Tessitra
Game: Mass effect 3
characters/pairing: Joker and Femshep and a little smut with James
genre: Romance, adventure (warning mature content, so don't read if sensitive to this.)
Story length: planning on a 5-10 Chapter, depends on the reviewing...
Disclaimer: Bioware owns every rights to the game, everything belongs to them. Every character except my Riley, that is mine and my imagination to the story.
When you are near
Chapter 1
The music was playing loud in the purgatory. Everyone was dancing and feeling the rhythm lurking like a drug to their soul. Though it was more like a desperation dance ( like forget your problem cause tomorrow you might be dead anyway)
Shepard saw Joker sitting alone at the bar looking at the people dancing. Now Shepard had the chance to tell him how she really felt. Joker had been there since the beginning, when she defeated Saren all those years ago. A big sigh came out from her mouth and she fixed her shoulder strap to her black dress.
"Here I go"
Shepard walked up slowly to him, with every step being harder to take. The music was so loud Joker didn't hear Shepard approaching him. When she was so close that she could touch him, she sat down beside him to his left and ordered a batarian ale.
"Commander!" Joker said just noticing her sitting down beside him. He turned his face to watch the people dancing and shook his head rapidly. "Can you believe this commander? All it ever took for this" showing with his hand at the people dancing."Was Cerberus attacking the Citadel. I mean c'mon that is not happy dancing. More like "get out off my face" dance."
Shepard smiled at his very obvious and sarcastic words, but Joker was right. The council just shut her out like they did the last time. Look what happened then and now they paid for it by the attack of cerberus. Her face changed from happy to sad. Joker saw her changing of expression, and waved his hand in front of her face. "Hey commander? You aright?" Shepard gazed at Joker at a glimpse and tried smiling.
"What if everything I'm doing is for nothing? Out here trying to build an alliance. Cause the council is to blind to see the universe is in constant threat by the reapers, and..."
Joker reached out his hand to hers and interrupted her. "I'm pretty sure the council knows about the serious threat by the reapers, you warned them about it! Hell you even took out a reaper on Tuchanka. You're doing a hell outta job bringing the species together commander. I never thought I see the day that the krogan and the turian fighting together, but you made that happen! So don't you fucking blame yourself, cause without you we wouldn't even get this far."
Shepard smiled widely and got goose-flesh by Jokers words, he always knew how to cheer her up. Sliding his hand away from hers and gave a small smile.
"We wouldn't get far without you either Jeff, the best damned pilot in the universe. I'm really glad to have known you. Having you by my side from day one." Giving him a small nudge on his cap.
"Hell commander! You're not gonna ask me to marry you?" He smiled and fixed his cap on his head straight. Shepard gave a nervous laugh and felt her cheeks getting warm. Reaching for her glass, but her hand was shaking so hard she withdrew. Joker took his last sip of his alcohol and waved the bartender for another and his friend. The bartender came back with two green shots. Shepard stared at him curiously. He reached his hands to get the both shots he ordered and handed one over to Shepard.
Gazing right into her deep hazel eyes. Shepard felt her hands starting to shake again, she cracked her fingers together so he wouldn't notice that she was nervous. She took the shot from him and placed it closer to her chest.
"Here's to us! Saving the universe when all hell is breaking lose."
Joker raised his glass over his head still looking into Shepard's eyes. Then he poured the liquor into his mouth. Shepard did the same a little bit slower of course, still looking at Joker. She saw Joker grimacing and struck the glass down on the bar with mighty force. Shepard saw something was bothering him and tilted her head to her side, looking at him. "Something bothering you Joker?" He shook his head and snorted, he was starting at someone sitting by a table. Shepard lifted her head to get a better sight of what he was looking at. She saw EDI the AI. Sitting there by herself. An anger grew slowly in Shepard's body, was it jealousy.
"So Shepard" Joker stuttered looking at EDI." Just out of the blue, but what do you think about me and EDI?" Her mouth opened in shock but closed it quickly before Joker could notice. Those words was exactly the thing she didn't want to hear, but she had to say something.
"You know of all this interest to EDI" Shepard nod her head to EDI." It's possible you overlooked other options." saying without thinking, her cheeks got slightly red when she saw the surprised reaction on Joker's face. " I ah...I ah... I never really thought about considering the possibilities" He stuttered watching her face with widened eyes. Like he was feeling really uncomfortable by her question. Shepard gave a small smirk. "And now when you know there is a possibility?" she could feel her heart beating faster by the tense situation. Joker sat still, looking at her with neutral expression.
"I served from the day one when you took command. I followed you into hell and back." Joker stopped and reached for his drink he had ordered a minute ago. Shepard gave a sad sigh seeing Joker trying to avoid eye-contact. "Everywhere except into my quarters" His eyes gazed at her from his side. "This came all so sudden Shepard. Hell it's not that you're not attractive , cause you are." turning to look at her feminine features on her face. Her long black hair as night put into a ponytail, a small faded scar on her left temple. Her deep hazel eyes with her long eyelashes flashing. Staring back to him. She was really beautiful. But her sudden honesty made him feel nervous like a school boy. This was for cry out load commander Shepard. Savior of the citadel and alone survivor at Akuze. No way in hell she could really be serious about this.
"It's a shame Jeff." Shepard answered trying not to sound overly upset. Inside her heart cracked into million pieces. All the other men she had rejected wanting to be with her. First Kaidan, who later died on Virmire while setting the bomb off. After that she rejected Garrus before the suicide mission to omega 4-relay. Now she was being rejected herself, cause she waited to long to tell her feelings for him. Cause he was interested in EDI. A non living organic, the whole idea off her being with Joker made Shepard sick.
Her thoughts got disturbed when she heard Joker saying beside her. "You're yanking my chain? Right commander?" Shepard almost felt insulted by his assumption. Raising one eyebrow to him."Does it look like I'm joking?" Jokers face suddenly changed to more serious he turned on his chair facing her and said with a loud voice."You have to be kidding Shepard! I liked you almost the first day I meet you. I assumed you liked Kaidan but then he died, which was horrible. I felt like maybe just maybe I could be there for you, so you could lean on me. But with my better judgment I didn't tell you, cause not fraternize with commanding officer." he paused and snorted " And who would ever like a guy with vroliks."
Shepard tried taking his hand but he just waved it off and gritted his teeth. "After defeating Saren you...you... you died! Just cause I didn't get my lazy ass up in time and you had to drag me off from that damned chair. I blamed my self for a very long time. Then cerberus contacted me and said they could fix my legs so I wouldn't use crutches anymore. But then they mentioned you. They told me they had found you, and within time they could bring you back. I thought when you were back I would tell you how I really felt. Of course Garrus felt the same time, confessing his"undying" love so I backed off. And now when I finally start to have feelings for another, you tell me that you have feelings for me. Well no offense commander, but screw you!"
Joker stopped talking, looking at his drink and drank the rest of the liquor. Shepard who had hard time handling the words, just realized he said he "liked" her as not anymore. Yet he didn't say anything either. So in her point of view they were both idiots. "Well excuse me so fucking much. This isn't only my fault. What happened to "I never considered the possibilities?" NO! This is also your fault Jeff! I'm sorry I didn't tell you later, but you didn't even do it yourself, and I doubt you would ever tell me. So excuse me for saying this but screw you Joker, screw you." Joker got surprised by her words but he knew she was right, he felt a shame growing inside.
"I'm sorry Shepard, I never meant to hurt you, or wait this long to tell you." Shepard had to know why? "Why didn't you tell me the truth? That you liked me before?" Joker smiled, it almost looked like he blushed a little. Scratching his neck and glanced at Shepard. "Well to be honest it came like a shock when you told me you had feelings for me. It kinda felt like you were mocking me."
Shepard raised a brow and joker quickly said."Which I know you would never do that. When I realized that, I felt stupid. I saw your face when I told you all those things. If I could turn back time, I would! Then I would tell you that you made me feel alive. Whenever I looked upon you, my heart skipped a beat, and when I saw you talking to Kaidan I became so jealous I had to relax with a lot of drinking. As I said, if I could turn back time I would, but I'm no wizard commander." Joker felt like a lump in his chest vanishing for finally telling her that, for so long he had kept the secret for himself, it was like a relief.
Shepard gave a warmly smile, taking every of her strength not to kiss him. Those luscious lips, Jokers lips. Her eyes watched him lick his opening of his mouth, she really wanted to feel his lips on hers. Without thinking she took his hand and smiled.
"Kiss me."
Oh crap what did I say? Her thoughts started to regret saying it, seeing Jokers eyes widened. He swallowed, did she really just say that? "Is that an order commander?" he tried to joke away the subject. Slowly sliding his hand away from hers. Shepard just stared lustfully into his eyes, and thought hey I gone this far. She gave a flirtatious smile. "Hell yes."
Her sexy voice made Jokers heart pound extra hard. He began to see images of him kissing Shepard. Even if he really wanted to kiss her it wasn't right. Thinking about the uniform and not to fraternize with the command in chief. What were they doing anyway? He looked away from her and tried letting down her gently. "Then I have to disobey that order...mam" For the first time under her command he disobeyed her order, but this time for whole other reasons. Shepard let her hand slid to her middle. She could almost feel her eyes filling with tears. Clenching her fists in reaction.
"Oh I see..." she paused , and her eyes starting to twitch. " Well this has taken to much of my time, I have to get back to the Normandy. I'll see you back there flight lieutenant." Shepard stood up, still clenching her fists, trying so hard not to let any tears run from hers eyes. Bowing her head slight to Joker and turned to walk away from the bar. Hearing Jokers voice calling at her in the background. She just wanted to get the hell outta there.
While back at the Normandy she passed James and Steve not looking at them, she just wanted to be alone right now. With quick footsteps she walked in to the Normandy's elevator and leaned her back to the wall. Shaking her head by everything that happened. Resting her hands to her eyes, she could feel the tears building. "Commander hey, there is someth..." It was James putting his hands, to the elevator doors stopping it from going up. Shepard hurried her hands to her side. Trying to hide her face against the wall. James heard her sniffle and knew something wasn't right. "You okay Lola?" she glinted at him, turning to face him. Seeing James smile back to her with concerned eyes."It's nothing really. Just tired that's all." trying to give a ensured smile back to him. James stepped into the elevator standing in-front of her.
Placing his hand on her shoulder.
"You want me to beat someone up Lola?"
Shepard gave a rich laugh by his comment and just shook her head. Looking at the muscular man trying to make her feel better.
"That wont be necessary Vega. Besides don't you think I'm quite capable to defend myself?" Shepard smirked crossing her arms to the soldier. He snorted giving a light smile. "Just saying. Everyone needs some help once in awhile." Shepard gazed at him nodding in understanding. "You don't need to tell me that twice" Thinking about all the species she had helped before they joined their fight against the reapers. "So what was it you needed me to see lieutenant?" James just shook his head and articulated with his hand no way. "Nah uh commander, that can wait. You get your ass back up to you're quarters and take your own sweet time to relax."
Shepard frowned her one eyebrow looking at James. "You're ordering me? To take some rest?" James stepped closer to her leaning his body closer to his right and smiled teasingly. "No it's a suggestion. But if it would make you feel better I could always keep you company" The lieutenant was a sneaky bastard that always flirted with her whenever he got the chance. She couldn't complain though, he was hot as hell. Shepard stared at Vega smiling. Putting her hands on his chest and pushed him out slowly out the elevator.
"Not this time Vega not this time."
James crossed his arms and laughed. "Suit your self commander. If you need me you know were to find me." He saluted her as he gave one of his sexy smiles.
The elevator doors closed and Shepard waved her hand ( as if to hot in there). If it wasn't for her feelings for Joker. She would be so over James right now. The days was already painful enough to think about. The elevator pinged, she had reached her cabin. Stepping out of the elevator. Lights to the aquarium-tank lit up. There was no fishes in there though, they all died anyway. So now she just kept it as decoration. She had a hamster though, called Saren, out of irony, cause he always bit her and disappeared from his cage.
Shepard sat herself on the couch, laying her legs on the small table and letting her head rest on the couch-top. Giving a big sigh. Would things ever get back to normal between Joker and her? He was always there for her, making her laugh, instead today he made her feel like she wanted to die. Heartbroken by this stupid ridiculous thing. Shepard shook her head rolling her eyes. "You're such an idiot Riley" She gazed to the shower, feeling like she could really use a hot shower. Standing up and walked over to the bathroom. Starting undressing from her black dress she laid her dress on the bathroom chest, she started the shower and let the water pour over her skin. The water felt so good on her body, she really needed this. Feeling like her problems just washing away.
Taking the soap that was standing on the sink. Starting to roll the soap on her arms, her shoulders. When getting to her stomach James came across her mind. The muscular man standing in the elevator teasing her before. Was the invitation for real? Or just his normal teasing. The thought dug deeper in her mind as she came below her navel between her legs. It felt warm and pulsating by the thought of James. Giving out a small gasp when she began playing with her fingers inside the warmth. Flicking her clit with small movements, like a circle. Her pulse rose and her breathings became more uncontrollable. Starting to squirm out of pleasure, biting down on her lip, her moans got louder. It was so long time ago she explored herself like this that she almost forgotten how good it really felt like. Being so close her climax, she put her left hand on the wall and her right hand remaining at her clit. With one more flick with her finger, she gave out one big moan, feeling the pleasure overflowing her body. Her knees started shaking, it was all so very hard to stand. Why she didn't do this more often became absurd. It was the best to release stress. Expect being on the battlefield of course.
She blushed by the image that made her like this. It wasn't Joker, it was James! The thought of him made her blood rush up in pleasure. What if? She and him could?... Nooo, that wouldn't be right. Just being turned down by Joker. Thinking by the matter more she stopped. Wait! Being turned down by Joker? She had all right to have a fling with James, if he now would go for it of course. Besides Shepard wasn't looking for a serious relationship with him anyway so what could happen? Joker didn't want her anyway. Shepard turned the shower off, took a towel from the bathroom sink and dried her body leaving her hair a slight damp.
She walked over to her drawer searching for something comfy to wear. She found her red sweatpants and a black linen, black was favorite her color. That would have to do. Her hair was put in a clumsy knot so the water from her hair wouldn't drip to much.
What she was about to do now was really crazy, not really her stile, but she did it anyway. Pressing the button to the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. Heartbeat raising when she thought about this insane act. But there was no second thoughts now. *Ping* the elevator doors opened and she stepped in, pressing the button that said shuttle bay. The elevator started going down as Shepard walked back and forth in there, laughing quietly at how stupid this was.
The little person on her shoulder. Who was suppose to tell her go back to your cabin now! Well those only existed in cartoons.*Ping* Her eyes widened and she became all so nervous all sudden. The door opened. Standing with her back on the wall, she had a tight grip on the elevators railing. Staring down at the floor, she sighed and took a first step out the elevator. She only needed to take some few steps, then she saw James. Standing 10 feet away. Working with something at his desk.
The heat inside Shepard grew stronger when she saw Vegas arms flex. Just the image of him touching her made her sweat. Finding the courage she stepped closer so he could hear her. "James! Hey James?"
Vega started looking around at both sides, to see who it was calling for him. Then he saw Shepard standing close the elevator. "Hey Lola, couldn't get enough of the view huh?" he asked self-assured with teasing eyes. If you only knew Vega baby, Shepard thought. "I wanted to talk to you about the N7 program. What are you gonna do bout it? Maybe I could give you some tips and downers? So come up to my cabin and we can talk about it."
Hmm smart Shepard , really smart. Will he ever go for that. Even Steve had stopped working and gazed at her with a curious look. "Is that so Lola?" he crossed his arms and lifted his chin to look at her teasingly. "Yeah that is so. Also cause your command in chief is telling you to do" It actually felt really damn good to by the head command on a ship sometimes.
Vega rolled his eyes smiling at her. "hah! Alright I be there when I'm done fixing this shit. After that I come right up." Now it was Shepard's turn to be flirtatious, she went back to push the button to the elevator. Waited for it to come down. She leaned her left shoulder to the wall, putting her left leg over her right and crossed her arms.
"No... I wanna talk now". *Ping* The elevator doors opened. James turned again to see Shepard leaning sexy to the wall. Is she flirting with me? His mind wandered maybe a bit too far, but it sure as hell looked like she was flirting.
"Aright I'm coming."
Shepard stepped into the elevator feeling her heart beating faster. Leaning her back against the wall and placing her hands on the railing. When she saw James coming towards her. The nervousness rose a lot, but that vanished when she saw one of his sexy smiles, smiling at her. When James stepped into the elevator the doors behind him closed. "So what was it abo..." before he even could finish his sentence he had Shepard's lips crushing against his. His eyes widened in surprise, drawing his head back from her mouth. "Commander?! What?" saying even more surprised, he didn't know what to say or what to do. And he usually have something to say about everything. This though, that really took him out of surprise.
Shepard looked up at his sexy eyes, biting down on her lower lip seductively. Putting her fingers on his hard yet soft chest, letting her fingers slide down to his navel ever so softly with her touch. His eyes watched her every move. There was nothing stopping her now. "I want you Vega, so just shut up and kiss me" She took his shirt, dragging him closer towards her, he didn't really resist. James smiled viciously and whispered close to her ear. "Whatever you say Lola." He put his thumb on her chin, tilting it up and leaned forward. Shutting their eyes and letting his lips crush against hers. The kiss was first very clumsy at first, which fast turned into a very erotic passionate kiss. Feeling his tongue roll around with hers. James pressed her body tighter to him and a soft moan came from her mouth. Letting her arms and hands caress the length of his built back. Clenching her nails into his shirt.
Vegas hands on her waist and spine, stroking it softly. She was going insane, the touch of his hands made her heat growing like any other. Their mouths open wider letting their tongues stroke each passionately. Her left hand touching his neck, caressing it. He let out a small growl. They stopped kissing, opened their eyes and looked at each other, both breathing heavily. One corner of his mouth lifted. It didn't take long until their mouths meet again. Shepard could only think about his skin touching hers. Biting his lip teas-fully as her right hand slid in through his shirt. Giving her a small gasp, his stomach felt incredible warm and it felt so nice to touch under her bare palm.
When James couldn't take much more any longer, he pressed her body into the wall. Lifting her up at her hips, spreading them around his waist. Shepard's gave a gasp and her ankles locked to give her a better grip around him. Laying one hand over his neck to get better support of the kiss. The other hand resting at the wall, accidentally pushing a button, the wrong button.
Still kissing furiously James gripped her ass tighter to his hands and started to fell his rigid getting harder in his pants. He started to move his lower body like a soft wave against her inner thighs. The breathing came more vivid, all the warmth echoing in their body. The rough and soft touches. Shepard could feel she was getting all wet by the excitement. Starting to kiss intensively , touching his tongue, feeling his teeth with her tongue. He licked her lower lip putting a hand to her hair, dragging little hard, but not to hard. This was the best kiss she have had for ages. Just out of the blue Joker popped up in her mind. She started to see images of Joker touching her and kissing her. Feeling that she became more wet in her briefs by thinking about Joker. But that was wrong wasn't it? Being with James kissing her and not Joker.
James stopped kissing her mouth and leaned to her left ear and put out the tip of his tongue and let him lick soft on her earlobe, he nibble little on it teasingly. That's when Shepard lost it. "Mmmhmm Joker" she moaned out. James stopped with everything he was doing and starred at her confused and slightly insulted. "Joker?" he said loud. Shepard who wasn't all to sure of what she had said. Heard the doors to the elevator suddenly opened and Shepard opened her eyes and her heart stopped. "Joker!?"
James turned his head to see what made her so surprised. There Joker stood, just looking at them with narrow expression. They quickly moved away from each other, not even looking at Joker or at each other. She could feel Joker gazing upon her. Suddenly she felt so very stupid about kissing James. It hadn't even gone two hours before confessing her feelings to Joker and now she was drawn to another mans arms for comfort. Her tears start building up again, when she finally looked his way, he was already gone. The doors shut, James and Shepard didn't say much the way up to her cabin. When the elevator opened it's doors to her quarters James dared to ask
"So Joker huh?"
Shepard stared at the lieutenant with sadden eyes. "No... not really... he didn't like me they way I like him... Well not anymore." James tilted his head down and gazed at Shepard, saying with a calm voice. "Nah Shepard. They way he looked at you when he saw us together. That look tells me a whole other story."
Shepard walked out the the elevator and looked up the ceiling trying to hide that she was actually crying. Taking a deep breath and turned around to look at Vega. "Well if he did, he sure as hell don't do now." James smiled at her gently. Stepping closer to her, brushing a tear away from her eye. "Give him some time. I'm sure he will get around later, if not he is missing out of an excellent kisser." Shepard snorted and looked up at his eyes and smiled. "You're not so bad your self Vega."
James gave quick quite laugh. "So you gonna be okay now? Not gonna be all drama queen on me? We cool?" The last thing he wanted to do was come between her and Joker, which he thought he already done enough. "Yeah we cool Vega." She reassured him with a soft smile. He smiled and gave her a light kiss on her forehead. Then turned around to walk into the elevator.
James was really a good guy and so understanding about it all. "Hey Vega" she paused smiling."Thanks!"
James smiled back at her "Anytime Lola. Anytime." then the doors closed. Walking over to her couch she sat herself down Putting her head in her hand and leaning over the the small table. How could all this go so wrong? What was meant to be a night of passion and excitement, turned out to be two catastrophes in one day. Feeling her tears running down her cheeks and on to the table. * Drip, Drop* She laid herself down on her side on the couch. Now her tears was uncontrollable. Her memories off Jokers face, watching her kissing James. His face was plain and emotionless, hollow. She couldn't get it out of her head. "Yo...u *sob*ar...e *sob* so st..u..pi..d *sob* R..i..le..y" saying to herself. Taking the blanket laying on the top of the couch. Putting it all over body, hiding from the rest of the world. Normally she never did this, but she felt the pressure about everything. Trying so hard so save earth, but were was someone to save her for once in a while. So the reapers could wait for some moments, while she drifted off to oblivion.
Shepard remained like that for some hours, drowsing off. When she had awaken, she remembered Jokers face. Sitting herself up, she brushed her eyes and cheeks, that was so very dry from weeping. She had to do something to keep her busy. Seeing some data-pads about reaper tech on her desk stapled upon each other. Standing up she walked over to take the first data-pad in her hand. Entry one she began reading.
When she was finished with the third reaper tech the time was already twelve a clock at night. She put her hand to her neck and rolled it to her sides. Gazing at her table were her medals stood, she also saw a big bottle cerise ice brandy.
"Ah what a heck"
she stood up and began to walk over to the table. Reaching for the brandy she heard the elevator swoosh open outside her cabin. Raising her brow, wondering who it was coming to her cabin at this time of hour. She pushed on her panel to open the door.
There she saw Joker standing, looking surprised. He probably thought she wouldn't open. He had something in his hand. She didn't see what he was holding though. Her heart raise quickened. He didn't look so very happy, probably out of what he saw today. But why? Joker didn't like her anymore, he so obvious stated out before. They stood there a long time in silence, then Joker spoke up. "Hey, thought you were sleeping." saying without eye-contact.
"No, I was just reading some rapports about reaper tech" Joker nonchalantly nod, like wasn't listening to her. Shepard started to get frustrated. Why did he even come up here, if he don't even want to talk. "Something on your mind Joker?" crossing her arms and looking him up and down. "Huh? oh..ohh ehh yeah" he stuttered trying to remember why he went up there."Saren broke free from your cage again." reaching out his hand with the hamster in it."Slippery bastard, he really lives up to his name. Found him trying to sabotage some cables in the cockpit" Shepard rolled her eyes to the hamster, reached her hand to take him, slightly touching Jokers hand with her thumb. He looked up on her, their eyes meet. She blushed and withdrew fast with the hamster in her hand."Thanks Joker, I'll get the cage fixed as soon as possible"
Rarely smiling to her, only for a second. She saw the sadness she gad caused him, if he did care for her still why didn't he say something at the purgatory. He turned to walk to the elevator. Leaving Shepard standing at the doorstep. She was just about to turn around into her room and heard a loud voice, almost yelling at her.
"Why did you do it?" Joker had turned facing her again. "Excuse me?" she watched Joker while he walked right into her room. "Was it to make me jealous Shepard? Well congratulations! Ding ding ding, you just won first fucking prize! Cause I sure as hell was" he said sarcastically. Shepard gritted her teeth, getting really annoyed by his appearance right now. "If I recall it correctly Joker, you weren't interested anymore! So why shouldn't I go to James? You rejected me remember, not the other way around!" Feeling her anger bubbling in her body. Joker just waved his hand nonchalantly and strolled harshly round the room. "Ohh please" Don't put that bullshit on me! I told you liked you before. Sure I was an idiot for not saying it earlier. You cant blame me for getting jealous! Did you even know you liked me until now?"
Shepard froze and opened her mouth, her eyes twitching. How could he just say that! She turned to look away from Joker. "I started to like you when you told me about your disease. That was the day you really opened up to me. Since that day we talked about anything, and if you didn't notice that you sure had your head to deep in the sand than I thought." Joker stooped pacing, his head looking down on the floor, feeling paralyzed by her words. He slowly turned his gaze at Shepard."But... that is almost four years ago... almost the same as I..." he stuttered. Shepard only nod
"So if you wanna blame anyone, blame us both! We're both idiots for not telling each others feelings sooner" Shepard could feel her biotics flowing through her body from the tense situation. Joker stared at her grueling and confused. "Then why do this Shepard? With James?" Hearing James name coming from Jokers mouth like that made her biotics feeling to burst. Her hand glowing with blue. "Cause I didn't want to see you with that synthetic bitch! The thought off you with her, made me sick! Cause you said you liked me before. I wanted to forget it, everything. I just wanted it to be you and me! But now we cant cause you don't like me anymore!"
Joker backed a little seeing her biotics, he didn't want to have a total bone structure. "Well...that wasn't totally all true." he said staring down the floor ashamed. "I lied to you at the purgatory. When I asked you about what you thought about me and EDI. I only wanted to see how you reacted and by my surprise you said you liked me. I never thought I'll see the. So I wanted to apologize and truly tell you how I felt here on the Normandy. That's why you saw me standing in front of the elevator before. I was heading to your cabin to apologize. The thing is Shepard. I never stopped having feelings for you. So when I saw you kissing James it was like a fire burning in my chest. I wanted to hate you, but I couldn't. Cause how could you hate a person you liked for so long"
Shepard felt all warm in her body. Her heart and mind was aching for him to touch her, but she even felt a madden feeling in her chest."What does that matter now? It's already over anyway." she hissed back. Her biotics was still glowing fierce. He smiled with one corner of his mouth. Scratching his stubble check while looking down. "Heh yeah... well. I thought it was over" Changing his gaze to look upon her. He shook his head slowly "It's not over Shepard. I like you, not EDI, I need you, I like you."he started walking closer to her slowly, step by step. Shepard clenched her fists even more, like she was ready to hit him. Joker watched her fists and then up to her eyes again, slowly approaching her. Like a predator sneaking up on it's prey. "You wanna hit me? You really wanna hit me...Riley?"
Shepard's biotics faded away, she froze. Her eyes widened. He had never said her first name before. Hell to think about it non in her crew ever has. It felt really good hearing her name from him. She soften her fists a little. "I don't know if I want to hit you or...or...or.. to kiss you" Her breaths began to quicken again. Joker was really close her now, he gave her a lustful smile.
"Then do it"
Shepard was confused, he wanted her to hit him? "Huh?"
Joker stood now right in front of her. Feeling his heart beating hard. "Then do it. Kiss me!" Her eyes widened, she couldn't believe it. This man standing in front of her, the man she liked for so long told her to kiss him. It was probably not that he said. She must heard wrong."Jeff?" Joker leaned forward took his left hand round her waist and pushed her slowly towards him.
"Kiss me"
She could feel his breaths on her mouth, only inches apart from touching. Her knees felt all weak and heart beating so fast. "Joker I..." her word got interrupted. Joker had leaned in his mouth to hers. Resting his lips on her. Shepard didn't kiss back at first by the shock. When he was was about to withdraw, she dragged him closer her.
Folding her arms around him. Opening her mouth, letting her be kissed passionately by Joker wonderful lips. Feeling his lips against her was like a dream come true, she got tears in her eyes, happy tears. Joker noticed it and stopped kissing her, turning her face gently and slowly to press a soft kiss were her tears run. The kiss made her get gooseflesh. No man had never kissed away her tears. He was so sensual and delicate with his every kiss. When he stopped he looked Riley in her eyes. "I'm sorry for my behavior before. I will never hurt you again. And if I ever do hurt you, I will take all my time to make it up for you."
Was she melting? Cause she sure felt like she was. Those words coming from Joker. Those words would make any woman melt. But not this man! This man was hers, and hers alone. Joker stroked her cheek softly, giving her a loving smile. "God's you're really beautiful" Everything about you are" He took her hand to his mouth, kissing every finger each by each. Shepard couldn't help it but she was getting a little turned on, seeing Joker so gently kissing and caressing made Riley want him even more.
She put her palm on his stubble cheek, made him look at her. His gorgeous dark blue eyes looking back at her hazel ones. Leaning forward to meet his luscious lips again. This time more feisty than before. Taking her arms under his to get a hold on his back, and his arms around her back, caressing it with his fingers. The strokes getting more lively, grabbing on to her shirt. How he really wanted her to take it off, but he didn't want to rush anything.
The kiss ever so more vivid. Letting their tongues feel each others every side. Feeling the tip of their teeth. Riley bit sensually on Jokers lower lip. He took out the tip of his tongue and Riley answered with her tongue touching him. They opened their mouths to give more wonderful kisses.
His left hand sliding down to her behind, digging his grip tightly, not to hard and stroking it sexy. His other hand had found another place to rest on. Her right breast. He cupped her breast softly to his palm and moved her breast in small circles, causing her to give out a small moan. Joker gave satisfied smile through the kisses.
Riley's hand on Jokers back started grabbing in her nails to his shirt. Making her hands slowly to the bottom of her shirt, letting on hand inside his shirt. Joker let out a little growl from his mouth, the moment was getting harder to control. Jokers cap accidentally bumped to Shepard's head, they both gave a small laugh. He took his cap off his head and through it to the couch. Shepard smiled, it was so rarely she saw him without a cap, it looked very cute. She pushed him back to the sofa, letting his knees bend to sit down. He smiled looking up at her.
Riley slowly sat down on his lap, separating her legs on his both sides. Laying her hands on his neck. He dragged her body closer to give her a kiss. This kiss was not as furious as before, he stopped kissing her. Put a strand of her hair back. "Who would have known, me with you." Shepard snorted at his comment" Hmpf, don't make me change my mind" Joker gave a rich laugh. "Don t make me wanna turn this ship around," This moment was all Shepard had waited for.
"Could we wait? I mean could we take it slowly? I don't want to ruin anything. And I want to remember everything about today. Not what happened before, but this moment. I want to remember that when you kiss me like this, I never ever want to stop kissing you." Joker just smiled at her words. This was really it! He had got his girl, for this time she was only a girl. Not commander Shepard savior of the citadel. But only Riley, his girl. "We can take it as slowly as we want, cause I know I already got you, and I'm not about to lose you either." Shepard laid her head on Jokers shoulder and cuddled into his arms. Joker put his arms around her, and kissed her on her forehead.
Shepard tilted her head up, gazing at Joker. "Stay here with me tonight, just like we are now"
Her words was so sincere, he wanted to be with her forever. Calming here, be at her side. "I be here forever"
The night came slowly and Shepard finally drifted off to dreamland. With Joker still holding her tight to his body, feeling her every breath at him. He smiled feeling all warm looking down at her sleeping. After that it didn't take long until he fell asleep to.
Music I was listening to when writing this Chapter.
"I just wanna run"
"Standing my ground "
"lightning strikes"
"chasing cars"
" It's all coming back to me - Celine
Thank you all for reading this :) more chapters will be up shortly, not this long I think but I will upload. See if any interest in this novel ofc. So don't forget to review and tell me if you want to see something special in the story.
P.s Sorry in my behalf for any misspelling words, my grammar is not the best.
Love / tessitra
