"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."-John Green
Inside Roses Dreams
And we'd both go, down together.
We'd stay there forever,
just trying to get up.
and I'm sorry, this wasn't easy
when I asked you, believe me
and never let go.
"I'd hate to be you people when you find out what this song is about"-Mayday Parade
Never letting go-
Rose winced as she fell to the floor, pain shooting through her arms when she tried to catch herself. "Doctor?" She called out, jumping when she heard the Daleks angry shout from behind. "Exterminate!" It screamed after her. She pushed herself up and continued running, attempting to ignore the fear clawing at the back of her mind, "Doctor?" She practically screamed. "Oh, where could he be?" She asked herself, feeling tears stinging at the corner of her eyes as the fear grew more and more, nearly engulfing her whole mind in its dark veil. "Doctor?" squeaked out, it was barely audible. Rose ran as fast as she could when she saw a turn coming up. She didn't want to believe that the Doctor had deserted her, so she assumed something bad had happened. As Rose rounded the corner, she yelped as she tripped over something large, landing in an ungraceful heap. As she turned to see what it was, she choked back a sob. "Doctor?" She cried out, attempting to crawl over to him. As she neared his still body, she saw her favorite suit of his, the brown pinstriped, was tattered, and his face covered with cuts and bruises. Rose pulled his head into her lap and gently stroked his hair. "Oh Doctor..." She sobbed, watching a tear fall onto his face, and just like that, his eyes shot open. He sucked in a sharp breath and whispered hoarsely. "Rose?" He brought a hand up and wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumb. "Rose... I-" The Doctor stopped mid- sentence and shut his eyes, his hand dropping to the side. "Doctor?" Rose sobbed out, shaking him slightly. "Doctor?" She yelled, shaking him harder. "Doctor wake up!" She sobbed, laying down next to him and burying her face in his side. "Doctor..." She said one last time before letting the sadness wash over her, drown her.
Rose sat straight up in bed, Her whole body was shaking and her sheets were everywhere. She felt hot tears streaming down her face and she took a shaky breath, trying to calm herself. But, as soon as her eyes drifted to the frazzled Time Lord standing in her doorway, she fell apart. Within seconds, the Doctor was by her side and crawling on the bed next to her. "Rose, Rose... Calm down. Do you hear me?" But Rose just kept sobbing, to the point where she actually started to hyperventilate. "Rose, you need to calm down." The Doctor whispered soothingly as he pulled her into a tight embrace. She buried her face in his chest and clutched his back. The Doctor gently pulled her into his lap and stroked her hair, ignoring the tears soaking through his shirt. After she calmed down she pulled away slightly and gripped the Doctors hand. She shut her eyes tight and let the Doctor touch her face, wiping away the remainder of her tears with his warm hand. The Doctor forced Roses eyes to meet his, she saw the worry pooling in his eyes. "Rose, what happened?" The Doctor asked softly. Rose took a deep breath and tried to speak. "I had a nightmare..." She said quietly, then she groaned, falling back onto her bed and covering her face with her hands. God she felt so childish. The Doctor smirked. "Was it about monsters Rose? Do you need me to protect you?" He said jokingly, but the look Rose gave him, her face filled with terror, made him crawl over to her. "Rose. What happened?" He asked, more urgent this time. Rose just looked away and tried not to cry. The Doctor took her chin in his hand and turned her to face him. "Rose. Tell me... Please."
Rose gave the Doctor the same terrified look and nodded mutely, breathing shakily. She tried to talk but her throat was raw from screaming. She reached for the glass of water on her nightstand and tried to take a sip. But she was so shaky she ended up spilling most of the water on her lap. She made a frustrated sound and the Doctor took the cup from her, bringing it up to her lips and letting her drink. One she was done she took a deep breath and began. "I was running through a hallway looking for you... I was being chased by a Dalek and screaming for you, but you were nowhere. After awhile, I hated myself for it, but I assumed you had either deserted me... or-" Rose paused and wiped away a tear that fell down her cheek. "Or you were dead." She said quietly. She was silent for a few moments, but when the Doctor gently squeezed her hand, she continued unwillingly. "I just kept running and running, but when I saw a turn, I went for it. I ran as fast as I could, hoping and praying that there would be an exit... when I tripped over something." Rose began shaking and she sniffed, cursing herself for bugging the Doctor over a dream, but she still continued. "When I turned to see what it was I could barley breathe. Doctor, it was your body... I watched you die in my arms." She decided to leave out how she made a decision to die with him, mostly because she was now crying uncontrollably, but also because she didn't want him to know how she felt about him. The Doctor hated seeing Rose like this, he hated not knowing what to do to comfort her either. He just pulled her into a warm embrace and massaged her back gently. Rose, now calming down, actually felt so much safer in the Doctors arms, the feel of his warm breath on her neck.
The Doctor laid down and pulled Rose with him, holding her tight and wrapping the blanket around them. "Rose.. Rose look at me." The Doctor said softly. Rose forced her eyes to meet his and melted in his stare. "You do know I would never ever let anything happen to you... I made a promise to your mum, Imagine if I go to Earth and say Jackie Tyler, Rose is dead... She'll probably kill me herself." Rose laughed at that, cuddling closer to the Doctors chest. The Doctor stroked her hair and hummed softly, and Rose quickly fell asleep to the lull of the Doctors hearts. When Rose opened her eyes the next morning, she saw the Doctor was still with her, holding her close while he slept. Rose sighed happily and shut her eyes, reaching for the Doctors hand. She must have dozed off, but what woke her up was a pair of lips gently kissing hers. Rose opened her eyes slowly and was immediately filled with happiness at the Doctors voice. "Good morning love!" he said cheerfully. Rose stretched and placed a soft kiss on his nose. "Good morning Doctor." She beamed. "Sleep well I hope?" The Doctor smiled and slotted closer to Rose. "Probably my best night of sleep ever." He said happily. Rose smiled, "Is that so?" Rose asked, giggling. But then she turned serious, looking up at the Doctor. "Hey Doctor, what are we doing today?" Rose asked as sweetly as she could. The Doctor shrugged. "Maybe just drift... why? Did you have something in mind?" Rose shrugged and looked out her bedroom window in the TARDIS. "I dunno, I was wondering if we could visit Earth... my mom." The Doctor sounded like he really didn't want to, but he did it anyways. "What do you wanna go to Earth for anyways Rose?" Rose just plastered on a fake smile and shrugged. "I dunno Doctor. I just miss Earth I guess."
