A/N: What's up, y'all? Here's another trashy total drama fic. It's a few chapters long, but I want to see your reactions to this chapter before I post again. This started as Noah and Mike just talking about the show, and it turned into this piece of garbage.

A few notes:

The cover was created by moi. I don't own the original pictures, I just edited them. The words on it are lyrics from the song 'Animal I Have Become' by Three Days Grace. I don't own them either.

Flames are accepted and anticipated, I know this is probably terrible.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or Total Drama.

Mike was nervous to go to his cousin Noah's house for the weekend. He hadn't seen him since before Noah went on Total Drama, so we're talking a few YEARS. Now, both of them had been on the show twice, and had VERY different experiences. Their parents and Mike's psychiatrist had agreed it might be good for the two teenagers to talk about their experiences on the show.

This is an account of the boys discussion, based off a security camera video taken in the living room.

To set the scene: The living room is simply designed. A navy blue couch adorned with red pillows is placed in front of a wall painted aqua green. A wood coffee table laden with books and empty bowls is placed a few feet in front of it. A bookshelf is to the right, a fireplace to the left. A tall, tan, scrawny teen, NOAH, is on the couch, with his head propped up with pillows and his long legs stretched out. He is wearing a short-sleeve red shirt and a blue-white-and-black long-sleeved flannel shirt, unbuttoned, over it. He is wearing green pants and white socks. He is reading a thick book. MIKE, who is taller than Noah, but younger and much more muscular, is wearing a green t-shirt, jeans, and grey sneakers. He has the same tan skin as Noah .

Mike: *enters the room* Hi Noah!

Noah: *doesn't look up from his book* 'Sup.

Mike:* confused* Aren't you excited to see me?

Noah: *shrugs* Meh. I know you're only here because of that show.

Mike: *nervously laughs and rubs the back of his neck* Yeah.

Noah: Well, let's get this over with. *closes book*

Mike: Ok. *sits down on the couch*

Mike: So. How was it for you, on Total Drama Island?

Noah: Horrible. I was constantly surrounded by idiots. There were only a few sane people there, and I barely had time to get to know any of them, since I was voted off third. What's up with that?

Mike: *shrugs* You weren't exactly the most helpful teammate.

Noah: Of course I was! I know my strengths, and sports are definitely not one of them. THAT'S why I wanted to sit out that challenge. I'd have probably been worse than Tyler, if that's possible. I frickin' PASSED OUT during the 20km run from exhaustion. Owen had to pump AIR INTO MY LUNGS so I could breathe again.

Mike:*widens his eyes* Woah. I thought you were faking. It certainly looked like it.

Noah: I couldn't fake it if I tried. Sports are NOT my forte.

Mike: Got it. Total Drama Island was a bust. But what about World Tour? You certainly got farther.

Noah: Hardly. I was ONCE AGAIN the first one off my team. All thanks to that eel. Alejandro.

Mike: *unexpectedly turns into Mal without Noah noticing,keeps hair from falling down over his eye, and keeps Mike's voice) Tell me about it. That guy is nothing more than a backstabbing little traitor. Sometimes I want to just-

Noah- Woah! I didn't know you were so angry with him. He seemed ok to YOU, except for that whole 'Mal' fiasco'. Yikes. I wouldn't want to be Alejandro.

Mal: *puts his head down and let's his voice return to normal* Heheh. Yeah, he deserved it, the evil little bastard.

Noah: And don't get me started on all the other idiots on that show, like Duncan.

Mal: *still in Mike's voice* Ugh, I hated him. He was always trying to take Zoey away from me, the punk.

Noah: I'm glad I got to roast him on national television, though. That was nice.

Mal: yeah, and then he stole your shorts. *he laughs like Mike would*

Noah: *laughs a little too, then blushes furiously* Wow, we have more in common than I thought, Mike.

Mal- What do you mean?

Noah- I mean, we had common enemies on the show. Duncan, Alejandro. And we both are still bitter.

Mal- *muttering again* I'm more than bitter, I want to kill them both. And I could do it.

Noah: Who doesn't want to kill their mortal enemy?

Mal- *opens up a little, keeps voice level but slightly raspy* An idiot, that's who.

Noah: You know, it's kind of too bad Mal had to disappear. I never got a chance to meet him, even before All-Stars, since he got you sent to juvie. Not that I wanted to.*silence. Mal cocks an eyebrow in disbelief* OK, I wanted to. Just to talk to him. He was such a fascinating personality. He had so much… complexity. No offense to the others in there, but they were just one-notes. He was a symphony. High notes, hiding undertones of low, dramatic stanzas. The perfect storm hidden behind a silver lining, waiting to break out. *Mal blushes, but hides it.* Damn, I should write that down.

Mal:*murmurs in his voice, but softly, no air of hostility* Yeah, you should.

Noah: Mike?

Mal: *returns to pretending to be Mike* What?

Noah: *narrows his eyes and leans forward to look at Mike(Mal) more closely. Mal gives a nervously innocent smile* Mal! It's you!

Mal: *sighs and lets his hair drop over his left eye, and brings back his voice* Yes, Noah, it's me.

Noah: *a look of realization, then fear and admiration, but mostly fear, creeps onto his face* ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod you heard everything I said. I thought I was talking to Mike. Oh shi-

*Mal puts his lip's to Noah's, then smiled darkly*

Mal: Shhh. Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. And whoever sees this tape.*Mal walks up to the security camera and smashes it with his fist. The recording is halted to a stop.

If you get to here, congrats! You survived the first chapter.

PLEASE review this with any questions, constructive criticism, or praise if you have some. Thanks!