Erin winced as the sharp blade broke through her skin but she strangely enjoyed it. It was hardly worth denying that she enjoyed self-harming even though since she met her boyfriend Vladimir Dracula she didn't really need to anymore; but the fact that this gorgeous boy made her happier than she had ever been and treated her like a princess didn't rule out the other fact that Erin was still battling depression. Apparently, it didn't just go away as soon as something good happens to you and instead of feeling better you feel guilty because you don't think you deserve such a wondrously positive thing and it throws you even further into the abyss of your own sadness and the labyrinth of all your other bottled-up feelings.
Slowly Erin slid the blade across her wrist squeezing her eyes closed and savouring every bit of pain that made her want to cry out and sob but only silent tears made their way down her cheeks. Nothing else. Erin had convinced her-self that she wanted this but worst of all Erin had convinced her-self that she deserved this. To her this was penance for lying to Vlad. The guilt had racked her inside and she often ended up bursting into tears for no reason in her room or sometimes even when she was walking with Vlad in the school hallway. Vlad had always known what to do for some reason though. He would just pull her aside and wrap his arms around her rocking her from side to side as she sobbed into his chest.
Soon the familiar feeling of when pain is so great it knocks the breath out of you caught Erin in its grip and she loved it. She didn't care that her blade was rusty and dirty and would most likely give her an infection. With any luck, it might kill her and take her away from this evil world… but then she would never see Vlad again and he would never see her again.
Suddenly Erin's eyes snapped open and she stumbled backwards as the full force of the now unwanted pain hit her. Somehow, she had numbed her-self to it and now her feeling was back and working better than ever. But this was just like every other time she vowed she would never use her rusty razor again in a couple of hours she'd be craving it just as much as she did before and after a couple of minutes of supressing it she would finally give in. So the cycle goes on. Erin was careful to make sure her wrists were always covered. She wasn't entirely sure what would happen if people knew of her… habits but she was confident that it wasn't good.
Vlad's P.O.V.
I was worried about Erin. She's become withdrawn and… paler. Definitely paler and her scent has become so much stronger like it's not on the inside anymore and it's on the outside. She always walks like she has something on her mind. Something disturbing. She looks tired with dark circles around her eyes and hollow like cheeks. Either she isn't well or there's something more troubling going on.
"Hi" Erin said through a yawn behind me. I spun around from where I was staring out the window to face her. "What are you looking at?" she asked. Not out of curiosity more like her human nature demanded it of her and she had no other choice but to ask. Like she was just going through the fazes of the day unwilling and half-heartedly just waiting for it to end. I looked down doing my best to smile even during this sort of time. Erin looked like she could do with a pick up, but then I noticed them. The cuts on her wrist.
I looked up at her concern on my face. "What happened to your arms?" I said, gently taking her wrist and pinching her shirt sleeve but before I could pull it up Erin yanked her hand back, pulling her sleeve down further. "It's nothing" she said quietly looking away from me to a distant corner. "Erin…"
"So what were you looking at?" she interrupted sniffing. I opened my mouth to object to her changing the subject but then answered her question thinking it could wait for now. "I was checking no one was coming here to drain you. My announcement didn't go down well with the VHC" Erin opened her mouth to reply but suddenly her face crumpled as she buried it into her hands. "Oh Erin" I whispered stepping towards her and pulling her into my arms. I felt Erin wrap her arms around my neck and bury her face in my chest, her tears soaking through my shirt seeping onto my skin but I didn't care. I could never bear to see Erin upset, it was the worst kind of pain and I haven't ever gotten used to it. "What's wrong?" I said softly rocking her from side to side "What did I say?" Erin sobbed into my chest like her life depended on it. "I'm a burden, aren't I?" she choked. I shook my head immediately. Erin was not a burden and I won't have her thinking she is either. "That's not true" I replied resting my chin on her hair. Erin is the light of my world, sometimes seeing her, even down a hallway, is the only thing that can get me through a hard day. "But it is!" Erin exclaimed pushing her-self away from me "You spend every waking minute protecting me because I'm a weak breather and it's not fair on you!" Suddenly Erin gripped her arms firmly, digging her fingertips into her wrist and breathing deeply through her nose as if she was trying to suppress something. "Ok Erin what is it with your wrists?!" I asked grabbing her arm and pulling her sleeve up forcefully. "No!" Erin screamed yanking her arm away and quickly tugging her sleeve down. But not before I saw scars and fresh cuts "What is so interesting about my arms! There's nothing different about my arms to others!" she yelled desperately trying to send me off track. "Erin" I pleaded if someone was hurting her I couldn't deal with it if she didn't talk to me "I can't help you if you don't open up to me" Erin was almost purple in the face. "I don't need your help" she cried starting to walk back up to our living quarters "This is none of your business so why are you getting involved!" I could only stand there watching her flee from a situation that could only end in one thing. One thing she hated. Talking.
Vlad's P.O.V.
Quietly I knocked on so as not to scare her but none the less there was a crashing as (I assumed) Erin jumped. "W-who is it?" she called cleaning things away quickly by the sound of it. "It's just me" I said gently. Suddenly Erin lent heavily on the wood separating us making it lean into the doorframe. "Go away" she replied refusing to open her door to me (in every respect). "Please let me in" I begged her "I only want to help you" This time when Erin answered her voice had cracked as if she was crying. "I told you! I don't want your help" she choked. Unexpectedly there was a thud as Erin slid down the door to sit in front of it. I sighed (a breather habit I could never shake) and turned to lean on the door myself sliding down to sit and rest my elbows on my bent knees. I wasn't going to give up in her. "Erin" I whispered loud enough for her to hear "I know how you got those cuts" I don't know why I hadn't figured it out sooner, I guess I just didn't want to believe Erin would do something like that to herself. Erin hiccoughed and shuffled a little. "You were never supposed to know" she choked "you do everything in your power to keep me safe and here I am undoing all that like the ungrateful wretch I am" From the other side of the wood soft sobs travelled through the cracks of the door. "You're not ungrateful or wretched" I disagreed softly "You're just… broken" Suddenly I turned to face the door, it was all I could do to look Erin in the eye. "but you're mine" I told her "and to me you're a princess" I paused, listening to Erin's soft inhales as she listened to me intently. "You're my beautiful broken princess" I whispered lovingly, gently placing my hand in the door and for a moment, just a moment I was sure Erin had done the same. Sadly, I let my hand drop to my side and I pushed myself to my feet. It was clear I wasn't going to get in now, but that wasn't going to stop me from trying later.
Slowly I started walking down the hallway when there was a click from behind me. "Really?" Erin asked quietly. I turned to look at Erin through the crack she'd opened and carefully retraced my steps to stand in front of the crack, almost touching the door. I looked down at the half of Erin's tearstained face I could see and nodded. "Really" I echoed truthfully. Erin's face crumpled and she suddenly chucked the door open and threw her arms around my neck sobbing into my chest. In return I wrapped my own arms around her protectively and clutched her close, pressing her small, vulnerable body to my powerful and immortal build. "I'm sorry" Erin sobbed "I'm so, so sorry" I shook my head, stroking her hair "Shh" I comforted "Erin you have nothing to be sorry for" Gently I pressed a loving kiss to Erin's forehead and buried my face in her hair.
After a moment or two Erin pulled away, nervously looking down at the floor and slipping her fingers under her sleeve. I gently pushed Erin into the room and closed the door behind me. Erin opened her mouth as if to speak then shook her head sitting down and putting her head in her hands. I followed suit wrapping my arms around her once again, leaning my chin on the top of her head. "I only have one question" I said softly "Why" Erin sniffled and nuzzled further into my neck as I tightened my arms around her. "Because it makes the voices go away. They're the ones to blame" she whispered. I closed my eyes a moment my brow furrowing as I kicked myself for not noticing her unhappiness sooner. I was supposed to be her boyfriend. It's my job to keep her happy and to make her feel loved and here she is cutting her wrists and I haven't noticed until too late.
"Erin we're going to get through this" I said pulling away and taking her arms placing my hand over her wrist, looking her in the yes "We're going to get through this together. Ok?" Erin nodded tears streaming down her face. Gently I pulled on her sleeve revealing her scars and fresh cuts traveling from her hand right up to her elbow. Erin squeezed her eyes shut as if waiting for a telling off but I said nothing. I just lifted her arm to my lips kissing her wrist and lifting mine to take her head in both hands wiping away her tears. "Everything is alright, ok" I promised "You're alright and it's going to be fine"
A/N So? What do you think? Would you like another chapter? It's meant to be a oneshot but I'm happy to write some more if you want it! Don't forget to review! Thanks for reading!
