"I need you to take the day off tomorrow," I tell Finnick when I enter the elevator which will take us up to our floors.

"I can't, both the District 4 tributes are still alive. Kaila is taking the night shift which means I have to be there tomorrow," he says, pushing the button 4 and then 7.

"Then switch shifts, I don't care how you do it, I need you to take the day off tomorrow."

He turns around and looks me deep in the eyes, trying to figure out why this is so important. I want to tell him, I really do, but not in this elevator where President Snow's ears are practically plastered to the walls.

"You need me to?" Finnick asks after a while.

"Need," I nod.

"Okay then."

"Thank you."

The rest of the way up goes in complete silence, but before Finnick exits at his floor, he turns around to ask at what time he should be at my floor tomorrow.

"At six. AM," I tell him.

He raises his eyebrows questioningly. "That's pretty early."

"I know."

"I'll be there," he nods, then kisses me on the cheek – something he's never done before so he must know there's something wrong – and leaves.

When I arrive at my floor I go to my room and slam the door shut without bothering to say anything to the other mentors. They may be from the same district but I don't have any connection with either one of them. They're not my friends and not my family, they're just acquaintances. People I happen to know. Nothing more.

An hour later, at eleven PM, I get out of bed again, put on a light brown sweater with an enormous but surprisingly comfortable hood and take the elevator to the fourth floor.

"Where's Finnick?" I ask the older lady, Mags, when I don't immediately spot my only friend.

She mutters something I don't understand so I ask the man at the dinner table the same question, maybe a little more urgent since I don't really have that much patience.

"He's out. Should be back in fifteen minutes," he says with a mouth full of stew.

"Fine," I say as I watch him in disgust. "I'll wait in his room."

Finnick's room is not much different from mine, apart from the furniture inspired by the districts.

I make myself comfortable on Finnick's bed, my face turned towards the clock on his nightstand so I can keep track of time. I need to hold on to something or I'll lose it completely.

Five minutes have gone by.

I'm still a newbie in the world of the Capitol. Finnick always knows what to do, how to act, what to say to please the right people. I don't. It's my first year as a mentor and I've already managed to ruin my life.

Ten minutes have gone by.

Finnick must think I'm crazy. We barely know each other – we met at my Victory Tour last year and this is only my second week in the Capitol – and yet I always go to him when I need something, talk to him when I'm feeling lonely or frustrated or just furious, lie in his bed when I can't sleep. He must think I'm just one of the many girls who practically faint when they see him.

Suddenly, someone gently shakes me awake.

"Hey," Finnick whispers, his face barely visible in the darkness of the room. "Sorry I'm late, I didn't know you were here."

I don't know what to say so I just don't say anything while he crawls into bed next to me.

After a few minutes of silence, Finnick asks me why I'm here.

"Couldn't sleep," is all I say.

"Nightmares?"

I shake my head, indicating it's not really the nightmares keeping me awake.

"Then what's wrong? Why do you need me tomorrow?"

I turn around so I can face him. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry."

"You can tell me, there are no bugs here."

I let my eyes scan the room, still not feeling at ease. "How can you be sure?"

"The Victors from 3 checked our floor. Your floor as well by the way."

"Okay fine," I give in. I close my eyes before I start talking, I don't want to cry in front of him, or anybody. "I refused Snow's proposal."

Finnick's arm is around me in an instant, pulling me against him. I don't have the energy to push him off and start crying in his arms. "They're dead. My parents. Finnick, they're dead."

"I know," he says after a while.

"I don't want to cry," I admit, tears streaming down my face.

"I know," he repeats. "Is there anyone else left?"

I nod. "My sister. I can't put her in danger, she can't die! She's only fourteen years old, she's my little sister! I don't want her to die, or be reaped in the next Hunger Games. She won't survive!"

"What are you going to do?"

When I don't say anything Finnick pulls away and takes my face in his hands to look me in the eye. "Does it have anything to do with tomorrow?"

I purse my lips together and nod. "You have to help me, Finnick," I whisper pleadingly.

"I will."

"I need a doctor, one who's not on Snow's side," I say.

Finnick looks confused for a moment before a dozen other emotions cross his face: anger, understanding, fear…

"I know someone but why do you need a doctor?"

I close my eyes to stop the tears from falling.

"Johanna! Why do you need a doctor?"

"I'm going to tie my tubes and then do as Snow tells me. I won't say no again."

A deadly silence surrounds Finnick and for a moment I'm afraid he's mad at me, but then he nods in understanding. He knows I can't put my sister's life on the line as well.

"But that means you'll never…"

"I know," I say, smiling weakly. "But it's the better of two horrible options."

"But what about your future?"

I understand his concern, I'd probably ask the same question if I were him. "I'd rather never have children than be a pregnant prostitute."

"Oh, Johanna, why are you making it so hard for yourself?"

"I'm not, Snow is. Now will you come with me or not?" I ask, suddenly feeling much more fierce again.

"Yes," he says. "Now try to get some rest, we have an early day tomorrow."

He closes his eyes and is ready to drift off to sleep, but I wake him once more.

"Finnick?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."