It's a week before prom and Brittany doesn't have a date.
"Leave it to me," Sugar tells her.
It's Sugar's first prom and she wants everything to be perfect: the perfect dress, the perfect date, the perfect photo, the perfect prom group.
She doesn't want her best friend in the entire world to have to go by herself.
Except... it's Brittany's third prom and she doesn't mind going solo. She did her junior year and it was fun - although not nearly as much fun as last year.
But she broke up with Sam right before Spring Break so he wouldn't feel guilty if he met anyone he liked at the beach.
(Maybe he did and maybe he didn't. Brittany doesn't ask.)
"You could take Ryder," Sugar suggests six days before prom.
Brittany thinks about it. "He's going with Celeste."
"Is she ever gonna take that neck brace off?" Sugar asks. "Whatever. As long as it matches her dress."
Brittany already has a dress. She's had it since the middle of February when Sugar dragged her out to Columbus to go dress shopping. It's beautiful and Sugar paid for it even though Brittany insisted she could very well buy it on her own.
"Puh-lease," Sugar had said, "I snooped through your wallet earlier. You have enough cash to wear a fancy garbage bag to prom."
(Sugar is kind of dramatic sometimes, but Brittany likes that about her.)
"Great news," Sugar says five days before prom. "Puck's available."
"I'm sure you two will have fun together. Just make sure he wears a condom," Brittany replies.
"Not for me. For you!"
Brittany wrinkles her nose. "No thanks."
"You're so picky," Sugar whines.
It's not that. Brittany just knows what she wants and what she wants is to not spend her last senior prom dancing with a guy whose moves could literally kill people, which is why Finn's ruled out, too.
(If Sugar had called Mike, Brittany would've said yes. Mike is fun to dance with and not at all scary.)
Four days before prom, Sugar gets this twinkle in her eyes that makes Brittany suspect she's been doing drugs with Stoner Brett under the bleachers.
"I know why you turned 'em all down," Sugar says. "It's because you want to take a girl."
Yes. But not just any girl.
"No," Brittany sighs.
"You dated Sam - a boy - last, and now you need to date another girl. Boy, girl. Boy, girl."
"That's not how being a bicorn works," Brittany tells her.
Sugar frowns. "Oh. Then I guess it's a good thing the prom committee turned down my theme."
"What was it?"
"Boys today, girls tomorrow."
(Sugar is unique - and not in the way that Wade is Unique. Brittany tried to tell her that once, but Sugar got confused.)
Brittany knows how excited Sugar is for prom, but it's three days away and her own enthusiasm is waning.
"Are you even listening?" Sugar asks, snapping her fingers in Brittany's face. They're standing by their lockers, which happen to be side by side. "I rented the coolest limo this side of the Mississippi and you don't even care!"
"I've never ridden in a limo before," Brittany replies monotonously.
"Of course you haven't. This is Ohio," Sugar says before continuing to map out their prom. "So we'll take pictures at 4:30, eat dinner at 7, and then pregame from 8 to 9."
"I don't think pictures will take 2 and a half hours, Sugar."
Sugar shrugs. "Not according to the professional photographer I hired."
(Last year it took about 45 minutes. Brittany Googled prom poses.)
It's two days before prom and word's gotten out around school that Brittany doesn't have a date.
Upperclassmen and underclassmen alike start sucking up to her.
It's annoying.
"Love what you've done with your hair," Dottie Kazatori says of Brittany's standard Cheerios ponytail.
"Lookin' sexy," that douchebag Josh Coleman adds.
When she opens her locker, a dozen notes fall out, most of which just say, "Prom? Check yes or no," with little boxes for her to choose.
Brittany also thinks she sees Mr. Schue wink at her, but that might've been a trick of the light or a facial tic or something.
When lunch rolls around, people start following her.
"Sugar," Brittany calls when she finally spots her friend in the cafeteria, "Who'd you tell?"
Sugar, who is on the phone, says, "I'll call you back." She turns to Brittany. "I didn't tell anybody, I swear," she squeaks. "Just Joe, who asked his Bible study group to pray you get a date."
"I don't want a date!" Brittany finally admits. She grabs a megaphone out of a passing Cheerio's hand.
"But that's Sue's," the Cheerio objects.
Brittany ignores her. "Attention McKinley," Brittany says into the megaphone. "I'm going to prom stag. Also, reduce your carbon footprint by carpooling. That's all."
"What a woman," Jacob Ben Israel mutters as she strides past him and out of the cafeteria.
(She hides Sue's megaphone in the library - a place she knows Sue will never look. Her days as a Cheerio are numbered anyway.)
Tomorrow is prom and there's a box with a corsage on Brittany's doorstep. The corsage is red, but there's no note. She wonders briefly if it's from Sam.
Sugar picks up on the first ring. "Hello?" shes says.
"Do you know who sent me this?" Brittany asks.
"Nope," Sugar yawns. "I'm going to skip my first three classes. Beauty sleep is way more important."
(Brittany's warned Sugar about the danger of skipping too many classes. Maybe she won't make the same mistakes Brittany made.)
Today's the day.
Brittany's mom does her hair, her sister does her makeup, and Sugar Skypes her the entire time they get ready.
"You look pretty enough to marry," Sugar tells her before instructing her stylist to add more hairspray.
"Are you sure you wanna go to prom with Artie and not me instead?" Brittany jokes.
"I think your mystery corsage person would be opposed to that. They obviously want you to meet up with them at 9:15 by the ice sculpture in the gym."
That was oddly specific.
"Mystery corsage person?" Brittany's mom asks.
Brittany shows her the corsage.
"Just make sure he - or she - isn't a serial killer," her mother advises.
(Brittany has a feeling. A good one.)
Their group is mostly Glee club members plus a few non-Glee dates. Sam doesn't come.
The pictures go smoothly. Brittany's in tons of group shots - some with everybody, some with just the girls. She even sits on Artie's lap for old time sake. She and Sugar take dozens of pictures together, making the goofiest faces they can come up with, each trying to make the other laugh.
Brittany has to sit on the end of the table at dinner, but she doesn't mind.
The only thing she can concentrate on is her corsage, which she sees every time she takes a bite.
True to her word, after dinner Sugar brings out the wine coolers and tells the limo driver to cruise.
(Luckily Puck isn't anyone's date otherwise they wouldn't make it to prom and Brittany might not ever meet her mystery corsage person.)
It's 9:10 on prom night and Brittany is nervous.
"Sup, prom 2013!" Sugar says into the microphone on stage. Brittany's not sure how Sugar convinced Mr. Schue to let her perform, but so far it's calming her nerves. Plus, it's early and most of the students are at least halfway drunk by now. "My name's Sugar and I'll be singing the classic Fergie hit, Glamorous."
Brittany's watching Sugar light up the stage when someone taps her on the shoulder.
Brittany turns around and gasps.
"Surprise," Santana says. She's wearing red - her signature prom color. It also matches the corsage on Brittany's wrist.
"How did you...?" Brittany says, shocked. She'd had a feeling, she just didn't think it was possible.
Santana smiles. "It's kind of insane how much money Sugar has. I mean, what do her parents even do for a living?"
"They're entrepreneurs," Sugar replies, apparently finished with her song. "Among other things. Brittany, I see you found your mystery corsage person."
"So why did you try to convince me to go out with other people?" Brittany asks.
"I knew the more I pushed you into finding a date, the less interested you'd be, allowing Santana to swoop in and save the day," Sugar explains. "Pretty clever, huh?"
"Genius," Brittany says.
Sugar smirks. "Told ya this would be the best prom ever."
Santana nods in agreement. "And it's only just begun."
Brittany thanks Sugar and heads out to the dance floor with Santana. When she looks to her left, she's not surprised to find Sam and Mercedes dancing together. She waves.
A slow song comes on next and Santana pulls her close.
"Come to New York after graduation. It's full of creative people like you," Santana whispers in her ear.
"Like us," Brittany corrects softly.
Santana holds her even closer, her lips brushing Brittany's ear. "It's the City of Dreams, Britt. Every night as I fall asleep, all I can think is that the only dream I'm still missing is you."
Brittany laughs. "I already booked a ticket."
(Lima is where they fell in love. New York is where they'll get married.)
