The Jonin and Kami knows who else Proudly Present:

The Jonin and Kami knows who else Proudly Present:

A/N: Kakashi, Genma, Hayate, Iruka, Asuma, Ayame, Kurenai, Anko, Shizune and Gai take it in turns to terrorise people with Asuma's camcorder. Please R&R. Rated M for themes and possible lime.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters.

List of Pairings:

KakaAnko - minor

GenAnko - minor

IruAnko - minor

GenShizu

KakaKure – minor

AsuKure

KakaAya - one-sided (Ayame)

IruAya

GenHaya – (very) strong friendship

KakaGai – past fling, minor

Intro – Asuma's Apartment

"Everyone, please be quiet!" Asuma could not actually hear himself over the noise the shinobi in his living room were making. He took a long drag on his cigarette, and raised his voice. "I'M SWITCHING THE CAMCORDER ON!"

The effect was instantaneous. Kakashi stopped trying to murder Iruka, who had apparently taken his Icha Icha Violence copy away from him. Anko got off Genma's lap, and Shizune stopped glaring malevolently at Anko. Genma looked a little disappointed. Gai ceased to yell about the technology that came with youthfulness. Kurenai, Hayate and Ayame continued to sit quietly.

Click.

Anko began waving madly at the camera, and Asuma went to join his friends, sitting directly in front of Kakashi and Iruka, holding some kind of staring contest, Iruka still clutching Icha Icha Violence.

"Hey, Asuma, I want my five minutes of fame too, you know." Kakashi protested, nudging Asuma along. Iruka also pushed Asuma out of the way, to be seen on the camcorder.

"We, the jonin -" Asuma began, only to be interrupted by Iruka, who said:

"– And chunin."

"We, the jonin and chunin -"

"Hey, what about me? I'm not a ninja!" Ayame pointed out. Asuma sighed heavily, and started once more.

"We, the jonin and Kami knows what else, proudly present: 'A Shinobi's Life." Asuma looked up, daring anyone to say anything about the title. Kurenai took the dare, saying with a roll of her eyes:

"Imaginative title. Plus Ayame isn't a shinobi, as she has told you before." Asuma rolled his own eyes, before correcting himself.

"We proudly present: 'A Human Organism's Life'. That should cover us all, apart from Gai, shouldn't it?" Kurenai merely looked long-suffering. Gai looked up suddenly.

"What am I, then?" He asked uncertainly. It was none other than Shiranui Genma who answered him, with a mock serious air.

"You, my friend, are a green spandex alien." Kakashi, Hayate and Anko laughed at this. Gai looked affronted, and began muttering about the indignities of standing up for what you believed in. Everyone ignored him, and turned to grin manically at the camera again. Asuma coughed.

"Anyway, we are going to take it in weekly turns to record a snippet of our day-to-day lives, gathering here again at the end of the week to watch what we have captured on film."

"Does it have to be here?" Hayate asked uncomfortably. Possibly because Genma was sitting very close to him on the three-seater couch, which all ten of the people present were crammed onto. Iruka nodded in agreement.

"It is a little…crowded." He said. Anko purred into his ear, and he went red.

"I understand, but we don't have anywhere else to go, none of the rest of you are willing to let us use your apartments, so you'll just have to live with it." Nobody said anymore. For all of five seconds.

"Get your hand out of my hair, Genma." Kurenai complained. Genma tried to comply, but couldn't get his elbow past Anko's head to free Kurenai's spidery black hair.

"Ow! Don't kick me, Kakashi! I only took your stupid book away!" Iruka yelped, bending over to rub his bruised leg. Ayame climbed over him to sit between Gai and Kakashi, causing more unrest.

"All of you, shut up!" Kurenai ordered. Everyone stopped what they were doing, Anko falling back into Genma's lap, and Shizune making to elbow the Mitarashi woman in the ribs. Kakashi straightened up, Ayame clutching his arm. "Thank you." Kurenai said curtly, falling back into silence once more, pushing Hayate closer to Genma, whom he had been trying to edge away from.

"Alright, I thought we'd start – Kami forbid – with Gai." Asuma suggested, ignoring the yells of protest from Hayate, Anko and Genma, and a grunt of disbelief from the Copy-nin, who looked a little flustered by the hold Ayame had on his arm. Asuma gave a secretive, knowing smile, which he also saw on Kurenai's face.

"Can we go now?" Shizune asked, throwing a sour look at Anko, who was looking obliviously smug on Genma's knee. Asuma nodded.

"See you all here, same time week, right?" He asked. Everyone nodded and ran for the door, Gai clutching the camcorder. Asuma lit up another cigarette. He had a feeling he would be chain smoking a lot more than usual over the next ten weeks.

XOXOXOX

A/N: Next - Week One: Maito Gai! Will Tenten, Neji and Lee survive being 'interviewed' by their sensei?

P.S: For anyone reading 'Too Close for Comfort', I am definitely not giving up on it.