Disclamer: Mph mn mmh mmm Mnph Mnrphn Mnh. Mr Mrphmn. (Translation: I do not own Team Fortress Two. Or Touhou.)
Team Fortress 2: Scout Plays Embodiment of Scarlet Devil
Ah, 2 Fort, home of a team of nine mercenaries who fight a team of nine mercenaries, whom look exactly the same as them, bullets, a ridiculously manly Australian weapons dealer, bullets, a mysterious woman who appears to masterminding the conflict, and bullets. Did we mention bullets?
But despite all this, things tend to be somewhat quiet on the days of temporary peace-fire.
"God damn it!"
Most of the time.
Earlier that day…
"What'cha got there, Engie?"
Dell Conagher, better known as The Engineer, looked over his shoulder at his loudmouthed colleague from Boston, The Scout."This? This is what those of us from Texas call a computer."
Scout rolled his eyes and said, "I can see that, dumb ass, what's that on the computer?"
"A game."
"I can see THAT, dumb ass! What game is it?"
"It's called Touhou Project 6: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil."
"That's a…interesting name."
"That is one of the more normal ones. People tend to just call it ESOD."
Scout began to feel somewhat interested.
"What's it like?"
"It's hard. REALLY hard."
Scout, being somewhat egotistical, replied, "Puh-lease, it can't be any harder than what I do every day."
"Believe me, it is."
"Oh yeah? Well, it doesn't LOOK that hard. "
"If you don't believe me, well, try it yourself."
"Oh yeah? I think I will!"
The Engineer stood up and let the scout get in the chair in front of the computer.
"Let's see here, how does this work?"
"Push this key to shoot, this one to bomb…"
…
"What the hell? Less than two minutes into the game and I'm already dead?
"I told you it was hard."
"…Well, I need a few minutes to get used to it!"
Later that day…
"God damn it!"
We are back where this story began.
"God damn maids and your god damn time stopping and your god damn knives and- FREAKING FARIES!"
Engineer smirked.
"I told you it was hard."
"Yeah, but you never said THIS hard! God! All right, I feel good, I can do it this time…"
"You seem kind of frustrated. Maybe you should take a break and take it easy for a while?"
"NO! Just one more try…"
"Well, all righty then, have fun."
The Engineer snickered slightly, and left Scout to suffer on his own.
Later that day…
The RED Spy laughed as he stepped out of the BLU base and dropped his disguise.
"Another one addicted…" he said to himself.
"You would think that they would figure out by now…Well, I need to contact my master about this…"
Meanwhile, in an alternate dimension…
"Hey, Reimu, what'cha got there?"
"This? This is a computer."
"I can see that. What's that on the computer?
"It's a game called Team Fortress Two. Want to try?"
THE END
Who-hoo! Pointless one shot of doom! I know it was kind of random, it was kind of hard to tell who was speaking, and really kind of bad, but hey, it was my first fan fiction and fun to write.
And if you're wondering how Reimu got a computer, I don't know either. Yukari gave it to her?
WORD COUNT: 553
