Diclaimer: I don't own LWD!
A/N: Okay, here comes another One-shot, though really, I should be working on my other projects… A review I got for another One-shot I wrote gave me this idea, because it was said that Casey's feelings are not as obvious in the show as Derek's…
These Feelings I Have
I woke up this morning feeling somewhat weird. I use to feel happy for another day; I'm a morning person and like to start the day as soon as possible.
But today I feel just…well…weird. I think it was the dream I had that is making me feel different than other mornings. Unfortunately I don't know what it was about, just that I was happy, really happy. Like Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice must have felt when Mr. Darcy proposed to her for the second time, or like Juliet would have felt if Romeo has waited just one more minute before drinking the death poison, or like Hermione when she finally got to kiss Ron.
I imagine that they must have felt like this too, their hearts full, only thoughts of joy, love and happiness wandering through their minds.
And that is the reason why I don't want to stand up for another day of high school, Derek, my crazy family, teachers, Derek, homework, dish-washing and Derek. I want to go back to that dream, I want to feel so completely happy one more time. Even when I was with Sam or Max, I never felt that way.
The wicked thing is that I can't remember, not the guy, not the place, not if I had pink or red lip-gloss on. All that is left is the memory of a feeling, as sweet as any I've ever had. But it is passing away fast now, though all I want is to dwell in it forever…
"Morning, Space Case! Time to wake up and show the world your wobbly grade-grubbing self one more time!"
"Der-ek! Get out! What the hell are you doing in here?"
"Hum, waking up a) the monster of loch Ness or b) King Kong? No, wait, I got it it's c): what is klutzilla!!"
"Out of here, now! Or I swear I'll tell the cheerleading squad you learned to kiss with the help of a certain teddy-bear currently being used by Edwin!"
"Ya ain't no fun, Case!"
With that he left my room, shutting the door behind him and leaving me trying to suppress the memory of how I learned about the teddy-bear tradition. Ugh, great, I did remember. Thanks a lot, brain.
Okay, I guess I really should stand up now and change.
No skirt today, it's growing really cold really fast. My dark blue jeans and my red pullover should make a good combination.
Now to conquer the bathroom and wash, comb and clean.
I hear the shower and sigh, it can only be Derek since Edwin, Marti and Lizzy don't shower in the mornings and Mom and George have their own bathroom.
I knock on the door and call: "Derek, hurry up or I'll be late for school!"
"Oh the princess is in a hurry, of course me being your loyal servant I'll obey your command immediately."
Shocked, I hear him turn out the shower, and next thing you know I see him step out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist wearing that cocky smile I hate passionately.
"The bathroom is all yours, milady."
"That's your highness to you, and where are your clothes?!"
"Like what you see?"
"Ugh, Der-ek!"
Laughing, he walked into his room, hopefully to dress himself. I mean I must admit that he doesn't look bad, at all, but it's still annoying how well he knows it himself.
Entering the bathroom I see why he went out so fast: it is drowned in steam and the towels are scattered everywhere. He is so going to clean this mess!
Just when I'm going to get him, I stop myself. The feelings I had this morning are back! I sigh and let it pass through my body, rather quickly but oh well. The steam of Derek's morning bath must have made me sleepy and made me thus remember. Maybe I should stay here a while longer…
Later…
"Damn dream, damn feelings, now I'm really late for school!"
I was racing down the hall to come to a screeching halt before my classroom. I opened the door to bump into the person that had entered just before me: dear lovely Derek!
My lucky star must be hiding behind a really large cloud today.
"Hey Casey, if you wanted to touch me so desperately, you could have just told me so!"
Did he just say that in front of the whole class? Oh I am gonna kill him very dead!
"Spare your dumb comments for your bimbos, but don't think you can impress me!
"Derek! Casey! Please take a seat and shut up so I can begin with this class, or do you want to go to the principal, again?"
"No, sir. I'm very sorry."
I turned around to walk to my seat and only then did I remark all the staring and chuckling classmates, whispering to each other. I looked up to Derek to shoot him a glaring look, but I stopped when I saw a look in his eyes resembling…could it really be…hurt?
But soon enough it was replaced by his usual "cool" look.
I must have just imagined it, since when did Derek actually listen or care about what I say?
Sitting down on my seat I can't shake off the feeling of guilt. Really hurting Derek, imagined or not, makes me feel slightly guilty despite the fact that I meant what I said.
Sighing I close my eyes. If it hadn't been for that dream none of this would have happened. What started out as a very good thing has turned out to be a nuisance after all.
I turn around to apologize to him, but what I see makes me change my mind quickly.
My dear stepbrother is flirting with one of the cheerleaders unashamedly in the midst of a class! When he sees me staring at them he winks at me and goes on flirting as if nothing happened.
Even if I would normally hiss at him and tell him to stop disturbing the class, I don't do it this time. Why? Because my heart actually made this flip thingy like when I'm in love when he winked at me. Great, now my dream is following me to school, just great!
Well, actually it really is…
Later…
As I sit down in the cafeteria to eat lunch, Emily joins me.
"Oh my god Casey, I can't believe you got kicked out of class twice this morning!"
"I can't believe it either. The first and second time in my life that I actually don't pay attention I get caught on it! Oh my god I totally ruined my reputation, my curriculum vitae, my life! What college would want to take someone who got kicked out of class?"
"Relax Casey; it's normal to get kicked out of class someday during school."
"Yeah, but I'm not normal!"
Of course Derek has to pass exactly on that moment and hear my rather loud statement. Now he's gonna make fun of me, yep, here it comes…
"We know, but I'm glad you finally admit it to yourself. But… don't ever change.
"So you can continue making fun of me forever and ever and ever and ever…"
"You know me!"
"Ugh, just go away, I'm trying to eat."
Waving me good-bye, Derek actually left without insulting me any more. Funny. When he said that I should never change I felt my stomach be invaded by a swarm of butterfl… uhm insects. This is weird…
"What was that all about?"
"What was what all about?"
"You and Derek. You didn't start your 10-minute lunch-fight like always. Are you getting along better?"
"No, he's still a narcissistic pest, but I guess the whole fighting thing is getting boring."
"Sooo mature."
"Well at least…"
Just then Sheldon came to sit beside Emily.
"Hello Ebony-locks how are you doing today?"
At his, uhm, endearing pet-name both Emily and me rolled our eyes, Sheldon could not be more of a dork. And yet I felt a pang of jealousy, not because of Sheldon, god no, but for their relationship. Sheldon wouldn't stop showing his love for her and she was, sometimes I think literally, blind from love. Watching them banter lovingly I wonder who might have been the Someone in my dream to awaken such strong feelings in me. Hopefully I would get to dream about him again this night.
"What are you thinking about, Space Case?"
Ugh, I must have spaced out a little…
"Certainly not about you, Smerek! Now leave, I was reliving such a beautiful memory."
"About you rolling down the stairs like a bowling ball and …"
"Shut up! If you must know I was thinking about the man of my dreams, not that it is any of your business!"
I suddenly hear people giggling and some starting to laugh. Did I just yell that I was thinking about the man of my dreams in the middle of the cafeteria? Oh dear…
Later…
Finally, the school clock indicates that the last class is over. After every single student of this school teased me about fantasizing, when I clearly said thinking, about the man of my dreams I'm dying to get out of here. This is all Derek's fault! If he hadn't made me so angry none of this would have happened!
Speaking of him, he hasn't yet made fun of me about the cafeteria incident. I guess I should prepare myself for when I get home.
Emily and I have decided to walk home together since I don't want people to make fun of me in the school bus too.
"So I guess that's why you got kicked out of class today."
"What do you mean?"
"You spaced out thinking about your man of your dreams." Emily couldn't help but giggle, I guess it is really a silly thing to do.
"Well yeah. You know, I had this dream last night where I met him. I don't remember the details, I just remember never feeling better or more loved and happy than in that dream I had."
"If it is any comfort to you, I've had that dream too, only now that I've found Sheldon he is the one who appears in it. You really don't remember him?"
"No and it's driving me crazy. Maybe the dream will repeat itself tonight. This time I will make sure to remember it."
We've arrived now at her house. We say good-bye to each other and I walk to my own house.
Silently I open the door and slip into my home. I'll try to avoid my family's questions as long as possible, I'm sure Derek already told them about Klutzilla's latest striking.
Since I don't hear any sounds coming from the kitchen I sneak into it to get me something to drink. What's this on the table? It's a note from Mom:
Dear Casey and Derek,
George and I went to shop with the kids. We'll be back around 6, please behave and don't kill each other or destroy the house while we're gone.
Love, Nora.
As if Derek and I were little children who need to be told to behave themselves! Well, then again I guess we do make each other so angry that we forget that we are supposed to be nearly adults.
I choose a bottle of water to take it up to my room. Ok, now for mission "getting-to-my-room-while-dodging-Derek".
Level 1, the stairs. I slowly climb the stairs up trying not to let any of the steps crack treacherously. As I reach the top of it I sigh contented about my first victory.
Level 2, the corridor. As silently as possible I sneak through it reaching my door without actually bumping into Derek!
Ha, I managed to…
Game Over
"Derek what are you doing in my room?"
"I came here to fulfil my ultimate goal in life: making fun of you"
Weird, he said that in such a sarcastic voice that I actually think it may not be true…
"Snap out of it!" he said rather angrily. "Who is that guy you're constantly thinking about anyway?"
"Nobody. It was a freaking dream, why are you so upset about it anyway?"
"Because you look so damn cut… ehem stupid when you drift away thinking about a guy who doesn't even exist!"
"And what's that to you? You love to make fun of me, why should it bother you if I look stupid?"
"Because you're supposed to look stupid because of me!"
With those words he blushes furiously and storms out of my room.
What was that all about?
He seemed to really care about who I'm dreaming and thinking about. He couldn't be…jealous, could he?
Ugh, I really need some sleep. I must be delusional to think that Derek could like me that way. I think I'm going to take a nap now. This day really cannot possibly turn out any worse.
Huh? Where am I? The mist suddenly clears in front of me and I see a person, a male one by the looks of it, walking towards me. My heart starts to beat faster. I focus all my strength on not getting sweaty hands. I cast my eyes down; I don't want my boyfriend to see me red as a tomato. When I finally gather the courage and confidence to look him in the eyes I nervously look up and see…darkness. My boyfriend is covering my eyes with his hands!
"What are you doing?"
He laughs and the sound of it makes my heart do several somersaults, backwards nonetheless.
"You are not ready to acknowledge your own feelings, dear Casey."
"You are my boyfriend, if I wasn't ready to…Wait, I have no boyfriend! What…?"
Suddenly I get it. This is a dream. Dying to know who the man of my dreams is I pry his hands away from my eyes and look into the smirking face of…Derek?!
"I told you, you weren't ready."
That's the moment where I wake up. My whole body is shaking and my mind is reeling from the overload of information send to it. To tranquilize myself I sit up and take a huge gulp from my water bottle.
Okay, I need to analyze this correctly, I must have gotten something wrong: Last night I had a dream about a man who made me feel more in love and loved than anything or anyone else in my life. Now, during this stupid nap I had the same dream, the same feelings and discovered who this man is: Derek. Derek is the man from my dreams!!
Okay, this was just a stupid dream, no need to panic, it's not like my heart makes a flip-flop every time I think about him smiling at me, in fact, I'll try it out just now.
Great! My heart doesn't make a flip-flop, it makes freaking two!
Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!
How could I ever think that this day could not possibly get any worse?
I'm sooo screwed.
A/N: Okay, so I really only wanted this to be a one-shot, but it sort of doesn't feel right without some real Dasey. Please review and tell me if I should continue with this fic.
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