Disclaimer: I don't own characters or settings.

Tris POV

People screaming everywhere, the rivers of blood of the fallen innocents make my heart numb. I see them everywhere. I no longer sleep without hearing the voices in my head. The only thing makes me feel safe is his smell, so I take the only thing I have left from him a simple white t-shirt that smells just like Tobias or as to everyone Four.

It's been five years since the war ended. It's been five years since we took a place here in Amity. It's been five years that we pulled apart. My empty heart fills with sorrow, as I think (correction as I know) that I should've fought more for us, because he was and still is the one that holds my heart.

After, the war ended the remaining Dauntless were allow to stay in Amity but only a few decided to actually stay because we agree to follow their rules. Some went back to the compound to see if they can salvage anything of the place we once called home. Then there were the ones that didn't grasp that there is more to life than fighting, than been brave. The ones that understood this about life and much more decided that it would be wise to stay and share a life as one.

I Tris Prior lost more than my parents, I lost my brother (although no physically) even if deserved to die. I lost him as well. I betray his trust, I went against him by siding with Marcus (his fear) we can never go back or forward with the burden of his distrust towards me.

Even though we share the same compound we certainly don't share the same space. After the promise I made, I avoid him at all cost; it's just too much pain. I keep myself occupied help around the Amity compound; some days I help in the kitchen or even play with kids. If I ever feel like that it gets to be too much I just stay confide in my small room. The walls of the room are grey to remind me from where I came from; the sheets on my bed are black to remind that I choose a different life. There are no pictures just a painting that I received from one of the girls that live here she said….. "It brings joy to your space" ….. Personally I think the painting is cheesy. Is a woman drinking coffee, looking outside her window. To me she looks miserable not joyful, but hey to each its own.

Susan is my only friend, she is so easy going at first it was a bit awkward but after all these years she became my Christina (minus the girly stuff). She says I need to be more social, if not I'm prone to become the old lady that everyone is afraid to talk to. Life in Amity is not bad I have my life; even though I feel lonely I keep hopes that I will find a light at the end of the tunnel. That I can wash away all my red and start a new beginning, until then I simply live my day's one by one by myself.

It took almost two years to get Amity's compound back to the way it used to like before the war broke. Everyone led a helping hand, everyone was united to bring the compound back to its feet. It was a sunny day and we were finishing with the final details that would allow us to reopen the compound as a whole. Ashley a little girl from the compound was playing with her older sister, when an Amity truck came out of nowhere heading straight towards her, if it wasn't for him getting in the way Ashley wouldn't be here.

He pushed her out of the way but he wasn't fast enough to get himself to a save a place. Instead he was struck by the heavy truck. He flew across the compound like a ball, when he finally hit the ground it sounded like thunder, but those were the sounds of his broken bones. Tobias suffered major head trauma, twenty broken bones including both legs. He had two heart attacks a massive blood clot to the brain. He was in medical induce coma for six months, that's how long it took for the swelling to go down from his brain. He underwent ten surgeries, and had to endure a lot of physical pain as well as emotional. He was going to need physical therapy for a long until he back to his old self. I wanted to be there for him just like he was always there for me. But, he didn't want me there, he said… " I need to recover physically and also emotionally and you make it hard for me, because when I see all I see is you going behind my back working with him"…. "But Tobias" …..I try to explain…he cuts me off .I see those beautiful deep blue eyes staring at me with resentment. All he says is "get out of my life" …."And never come back". His words pierce every muscle, every bone in me, his words hurt more than Caleb's betrayal, more than losing Christina, his words crushed my world.

At that point I had no more hope, I had no one to turn to, so I did what everyone does when all seems lost…. I hoped and believed in GOD even if it's something I didn't believe my whole life. I turned to GOD and asked him to save Tobias, to save my rock that it didn't matter if he no longer wanted me that I need his presence in this world to continue to live. I vow to never speak to him or interfere with his happiness as long as he saved him. God herd my plead Tobias made a rather quickly recovery, he was almost back to his old self. God also gave him happiness; he married the nurse that was there for helping him recover when he wouldn't allow me. Paige and Tobias have been for the past three years. …