Dean was humming jingle bells when Castiel appeared beside him. He smiled at the human, Dean looked happy for once. It was a truly beautiful sight. Dean looked up at the angel's presence, startled. He stopped decorating the tree abruptly, tinsel still in hand. Dean surveyed the look Cas was giving him and became defensive. "What? It was Sammy's idea."
Castiel smiled gently. "May I help you?"
"Ah...sure, I guess." Dean gave the angel an odd glance. "Why though?"
Cas looked at the ground. "Well Dean...I believe there are many reasons. I want to particapte in your human traditions because they make you happy-"
"Christmas does not make me happy." Dean said grudgingly
"Yes it does Dean, you don't have pretend it does not. At least this Christmas makes you happy-"
"Okay, whatever, enough talking, here." Dean shoved a handful of tinsel at the angel. Cas accepted the tinsel but still studied Dean with that burning gaze of his.
"Christmas is a time to be around family, people you care about, correct? Well, you and Sam, you are those people to me Dean."
Dean akwardly cleared his throat. "Okay, good, because I'm...I'm glad your here too Cas."
Castiel smiled and resumed wrapping the tinsel around the tree like Dean had been doing.
"Here, it's easier to do it like this." Dean said from his place on the opposite side of the tree. He reached around to the back of the tree where Cas passed to the tinsel to him. He wrapped it around his side of the tree and then passed it back to Cas, this time at the front.
"This does require much less effort." Castiel said, passing the tinsel to Dean. "Where is Sam?"
"Out getting some stuff."
"Oh...will he be back soon?"
"I dunno, maybe."
This time when Castiel went to pass the tinsel to Dean, he didn't. Instead, he let his arms drift around the human and pulled him close.
"Cas? What the hell-"
Dean was cut off as Cas pressed his lips against Dean's. "Merry Christmas Dean." He murmered quietly. With a whoosh he was gone again.
Dean was left with his mouth agape, holding a pile of tinsel, a half decorated christmas tree and a completely stunned mentaility. Dean looked around his astonishment, wondering if any of that had been real. Oh it had, he knew that. There was no way his imagination could dream up the way Cas's arms had held him so securely, making him feel safer than he'd felt in years. Or the way Cas's lips felt against Dean's, making him feel all warm inside. Damn it, no one pulled something like that on Dean Winchester and got away with it. So Dean promised next time Cas just popped in he would be the one instigating contact. He would be the one pulling Castiel close and he would kiss the angel until they were breathless. Untill they're lips were swollen and he had taught the angel what it was like to experice love. No one pulled a fast one on Dean Winchester. Well, except maybe Castiel.
"Hey Cas." Dean spun around at hearing his brother announce the angel's presence. All his plans and thoughts seemed to disapear at seeing the familar angel. Those big baby blue eyes and the way he held himself with such a wearniess. Dean wanted to comfort him more than anything. He wanted to kiss away the worry lines he had begun to develop. He wanted to make Castiel feel as safe in his arms as Dean had felt the other evening. But that had to be done in private. It would have to be gently and tender because it was Castiel and he couldn't ever imagine hurting him in any way.
"Hello Dean."
"Hey Cas." Dean eyes raked over his angel and he felt himself smile. Cas was hear and it was Christmas. Everything seemed okay. "You okay?" He felt nothing but concern whenever he saw his friend.
"I am fine Dean, thank you."
"Cas, whats up? Is something wrong? Why are you here-" Sam was also concerned apparently.
"I...I thought I would spend the christmas season with my friends, is that allright? If I am not welcome-"
"Your definately welcome." Dean butted in. "I think that would be perfect."
Cas's gaze met Dean's. "I'm not entirely well aquainted with human customs. You may have to-"
"Dont worry, well help you out." Sam said, obviously aware of the eye fucking going on between the angel and his brother.
Cas turned his gaze to the other Winchester. "I do find it odd that you two are celebrating Christmas this year."
"It was Sammy's idea, it's always Sammy's idea." Dean rolled his eyes. "And since this may be...my last christmas and everything I figured why the hell not."
Cas's peircing gaze immediatley moved to Deans forearm where the mark lay, covered by layers of clothing. "How are you feeling Dean?"
"Fine," Dean said gruffly, shuffling his feet.
"Dean-"
"I said I'm fine damn it!"Castiel was saddned by the outburst and Sam looked genuinely concerned. "Can I have a damn beer now?" Dean stormed out of the room and headed for the fridge. Castiel gave him a few minutes before following.
"I understand how you feel you know," He said, his voice low and gravely as per ususal. "About this being your last Christmas. My borrowed grace will only last so long."
"We'll find a way to fix it." Dean muttered, leaning against the counter and taking a swig.
"Dean, can we please be realistic-"
"Cas, its Christmas, I dont want to think about any of that stuff, okay."
"Okay." Cas agreed solomly. He slowely took a few steps towards Dean.
Dean took one last drink and set his bottle down on the counter, looking nervous. "Cas." He breathed quietly, looking at the angel in what could only be described as pure adoration and love. He outstretched his hand until it reached the angel's and interlocked their fingers. Cas was looking at their hands in a shy manner. Dean slowely drew him closer, gently tugging his hand until they were a breaths space away. Dean searched the angel's eyes for the longest while, loving how perfect Castiel looked up close like this. "You know your damn beautiful, right?" He didn't mean for it to come out, but as soon as the words left his lips he had no regrets. Cas's eyes sparkled and he raised a hand to touch Dean's cheek. "You are the most beautiful of all Dean."
Dean swallowed carefully and placed his lips against Cas's temple. He was shaking and the angel could clearly notice. "It is allright Dean, you don't have to-"
Dean let out a barky laugh. "You know what? Your arms feel like the safest place I've been in a long while."
Cas smiled tenderly and engulfed Dean in an embrace. "Then I would like to hold you all the time, to make you feel safe-"
"Ughhhh." The moment was broken as Sam came into the kitchen and let out an exasperated moan at seeing the two of them. "Are you two always going to be this lovey dovey or what? Because I don't think I'll ever get used to it. Heck, I feel like ripping my eyes out right now-"
"Shut up Sam." Sam rolled his eyes and left the room.
Cas bit his lip and hesitantly met Dean's gaze. He looked like he wanted to say something, or do something. but he didn't. Dean let out a long breath and untangled himself from Cas's arms. "So, Christmas."
"Christmas." Cas repeated, a smile forming on his lips.
"You know what I think we should do-"
Cas leaned in and pressed his lips to Dean's again, more persistent this time. Dean gently kissed him back, feeling that warmth fill him up inside. Cas's mouth felt so warm against his and Cas's arms going around his waist seemed to make everything perfect. "I love you Dean Winchester." Cas slightly pulled away so he could gauge Dean's reaction. "I have from the moment I raised you from perdition." He gently kissed the human again, this time letting his lips linger. "I am not accustomed to the feelings or actions of love, that is true, but I would like to...to become more knowledgeable about such things and I would like to do that with you."
"Me too." Dean somehow croaked out. If this was going to be his last Christmas he wanted to spend it wrapped in his angel's arms. He wrapped his arms around Cas and buried his head against the familar angel. "Me friggin too."
Cas gave the hunter one last kiss before pulling away and giving him a shy smile. "So what should we do know Dean?"
Just hold me again. Just wrap me in your arms and make me feel like you could protect me from the world. Because all I want for christmas is you. "Christmas carols." Dean whispered. "We should sing christmas carols and drink hot cocoa and wear stupid santa hats." The angel laughed and immediately went to find Sam.
They gathered in the library, feeling stupid but happy. Dean placed a santa hat on his angel and brother's head and laughed. Because it was Christmas and he deserved to laugh. He went and grabbed a beer for each of them and Cas accepted his without any complaints. Dean slipped his arm around Cas as he sang jingle bells. Cas leaned into Dean as they belted out the lyrics to rocking around the Christmas tree and Sam didn't complain one bit.
The CD soon ended and Dean felt strangly sad. "Come on, we're going to bake gingerbread men." Dean said, grabbing Cas's hand and leading him into the kitchen.
"You know how to cook?" Cas questioned.
"How hard can it be?" Dean scoffed, grabbing mixing bowls and ingredients. He dumped a few things together into a bowl and handed it to Cas. "Here, stir this."
Castiel cocked his head and began stirring the dough. "Here, like this." Dean murmered softly, coming up behind him. He leaned into Cas and placed his hands over the angels on the wooden spoon. Cas let out a gentle sigh when Dean rested his chin on Cas's shoulder. "I have an angel in my house baking cookies with me for Christmas." Dean chuckled. "God, it sounds like some cheesy romance novel or something." Cas also laughed as Dean placed his hands, sticky with dough, on Cas's face.
"Dean, is this customary?" Cas questioned with a laugh.
"Hell no, but I'm making up my own rules." Dean muttered devishly and placed a kiss on his shoulder.
"I think I like your rules." Cas said, turning around and placing his sticky hands on Dean's shirt.
"Hey!" Castiel giggled and playfully pushed Dean away before drawing him back to him for a kiss. "We should get these in the oven." Dean said, placing the baking sheet full of cookies on top of the counter.
"Wait!" Cas shouted, grabbing a couple of the cookie cutters. He made one cookie into an angel and the other into a gingerbread man. "There, one for each of us."
"Your too damn cute." Dean murmered, placing a kiss on his cheek. "I friggin love you."
"Well I friggin love you too." Cas quipped.
Dean hadn't realized he'd said it until Cas repeated it. "Oh..."
Cas turned to him. "Dean?-"
" didnt mean to say it-"
"Oh." Cas compousre sagged and Dean knew he'd taken it the wrong way.
"No! I didn't mean that I didn't mean it Cas, I mean...I didn't know if I was ready to say it or not."
"Its allright Dean, we can take things slow."
Dean laughed at this, Cas clearly didn't know the true meaning of those words. Although he had an idea that they would take it slow, for Cas. Dean wouldn't mind. For once, it wasn't all about sex or the physical aspect. Dean turned to put the cookies in the oven and turned back around to his angel. His boyfriend? He wasn't quite sure what to call Cas. "I love you, okay?" Dean announced. "And I should have told you a hell of a lot earlier and I'm so damn sorry."
"Why are you apologizing Dean?"
"Because, if only I'd had the balls to tell you this earlier, we could have had this so much sooner. We could have been happy so much earlier-"
"Dean, it is Christmas, I don't want to talk about it."
Dean smiled, with tears in his eyes and embraced his angel. He gave him a deep kiss, feeling the love for this amazing being deep in his bones. "Your right, I just want to enjoy our time together from now on baby."
"Dean, I am not an infant."
Dean chuckled. "Its a pet name, oh ,nevermind."
The timer went off and Dean took their cookies out of the oven. "Wait, I have to do something. Will you leave the room for a little while, hang out with Sammy or something?"
"Okay Dean."
Dean quickly got to work, decorating the angel cookie. He then got a bright idea and got a peice of paper and became cutting.
"Dean...why am I at the top of your christmas tree?" Castiel asked as Dean uncovered his eyes. Dean chuckled and wrapped his arms around the angel's waist.
"Because your my angel."
"I am supposed to be flattered, correct?"
"Well, if you want to be."
"Thank you dean." Cas said gratefully, hugging Dean back.
"Look," Dean handed him the cookie he had decorated and Castiel chuckled. "This looks like me."
"Yeah it does." Dean smiled.
"Hey Dean, Cas, I was gonna watch Home Alone you wanna join me?"
"Sure." Dean said.
"Home Alone?" Cas questioned. "This is a movie?"
"You've never seen Home Alone? Dude, I know what we're doing today. We're gonna make you watch the classics."
"Merry Christmas ya filthy animal." Cas recited.
"Yeah, but you only know the stuff Metadouche planted into your head. You need to actually watch the movies." Dean said as they settled on the couch. Cas snuggled into Dean and sighed in content. Dean flicked the pom pom from the santa hat out of Cas's face and hugged him affectionetly.
It was sometime later that Dean fell asleep. Cas knew from the way his breathing evened off and the hand that had been running through his hair in such a lulling manner had stopped. Cas shifted gently so now Dean's body was slumping against his own. Cas wrapped his arms around his human and held him throughout the night, feeling quite happy and content.
Cas had to admit, there was a certain awe of beauty around Dean when he woke up. The way sleep still clung to his face and his cute bed head hair. The way he wiped his eyes sleepily before squinting up at Cas and his face lighting up in a smile. Dean shifted slightly and Cas kissed his forehead. "Mmmm, merry Christmas Cas." The look of pure sadness on Cas's face took Dean by surprise. "Cas? Whats wrong?" His stomach sank.
"I don't have a present for you Dean." Cas had been talking to Sam and had learned that it was customary to exchange gifts on this day. "I'm sorry-"
"Cas, it's allright." Dean said softly. "Dont look so sad. You allready gave me the best present ever...you. Being with you Cas, that's all I could ask for. I love you and you've made this the best damn Christmas."
"I love you too Dean." Cas said, his face softening into a warm glow. "Merry friggin Christmas."
