Okay so this is my remake of Lost in you. I made a lot of changes but I've also kept some stuff from the old story. Please read and review my story, it helps me stay motivated. I hope you enjoy the story.

Chapter 1

I LOVE YOU LIKE THAT

Spencer's POV

Beginning flashback

It's my first day at a new school, its pretty scarey moveing to a new place especially after the school year is already half over. You see my mom Paula Carlin just got a new job working at a bigger hospital so we had to pack up and move from a small town in Ohio, to the huge city of Los Angeles, California. I didn't fully understand what was going on seeing as how im only six and in the first grade. All i knew was that I had to pack up all of my stuff and leave my best friends. My older brother Glen is really excited about moving he says that there is a lot of new and exciting things we can do like go to the beach and meet new people, on the otherhand i am really nervous about this. Glen is only one grade higher than me but he is two years older than me, and he is fearless. But anyway back to my point here, its my first day at a new school, the year is already half over, and i am extreamly terrified. My dad is the one who had to take Glen and I into school because mom started her job at 6 this morning. I held onto his hand for dear life as we walked into the school building and to the office, Glen was bouncing off the walls as usual and almost ran into the counter which made me laugh. The secretary lady walked up to the counter and smiled down at me and Glen before looking at my dad.

Secretary: My name is Mrs. Robinson, how can i help you.

Arthur: My name is Arthur Carlin and this is my daughter Spencer and my son Glen, i called yesterday and talked to the principal about when they could start school he told me to bring them in today and we could fill out the necessary paperwork.

Mrs. Robinson: Yes he told me i would be expecting you.

She smiled at my dad and handed him a clipboard with a bunch of papers on them. Glen and i went and sat in the chairs outside the office while dad filled out the papers. Glen kept going on and on about how awesome this school is going to be, and how big the playground was and blah blah blah. I didn't really care all i wanted to do was go home and hide under my covers untill the school year was over. Im not sure how long we sat in the chairs but i must have fallen asleep because the next thing i remember is Glen shaking me frantically telling me to wake up.

Mrs. Robinson: would you like me to show you where your classrooms are?

Glen was extreamly excited about going to meet his teacher, but i was terrified beyond all beliefe. He grabbed my hand and yanked me up out of my chair smileing really big. I think he was trying to make me feel better by taking my hand but it wasn't working, i was still deathly afraied. My dad knelt down in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders before looking me in the eyes.

Arthur: do you want me to walk you to class Spencer? I don't have to be into work untill noon so i still have time.

He smiled at me which made me feel loads better then i had been feeling all morning. Before i could tell him that yes i wanted him to walk me to class Glen jumped in frantically.

Glen: No dad we dont need you to walk us to class. Spencer don't worry we can go to my class first then you can see where my class is, and if you get scared you can come find me.

Spencer: But how will you know where my class is after school?

Glen: Don't panick baby sis i will still walk you to your class, as long as my teacher says its okay.

he gave me a genuine smile before taking my hand in his. I smiled back weakly before turning back to my dad who smiled at me again. He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head before standing back up and turning to Mrs. Robinson.

Arthur: thank you for all of your help Mrs. Robinson.

Mrs. Robinson: You are very welcome Mr. Carlin.

My dad smiled before turning and walking down the hallway back to the car. I stared after him all of a sudden feeling more panick then when we first got here. I felt Glen squeeze my hand and i looked at him, he gave me a big smile and started to pull me along after Mrs. Robinson in the direction of his classroom. We went down the long hallway towards a bunch of classrooms, we passed by five or six before we came to a stop infront of a door with a bunch of little fish on the door. Mrs. Robinson knocked on the door and we waited patiently for the teacher to answer the door. A tall dark haired lady came to the door and looked down and me and Glen.

teacher: Hello you must be Glen, my name is Miss Jacobs and i will be your teacher for the year, come on in.

I watched as Glen followed the teacher into his classroom wondering if he forgot about walking me to my class. He set his stuff down on the desk the teacher said was his.

Glen: Miss Jacobs my little sister Spencer is kinda shy and shes really scared, i was wondering if i could walk her to her class and make sure she is okay.

She looked over at the door and smiled and waved at me. I gave her a shy smile back but i didn't move a muscle in my body. She looked down at Glen and nodded her head. Glen smiled up at her and then came back over to me and grabbed my hand before following Mrs. Robinson back up the hallway towards the office. when we got back up by the office we turned right and went at least two doors down before stopping. I waited anxiously for the teacher to notice we were standing outside the door. she looked up from her computer when she heard Mrs. Robinson clear her throat. The short blonde lady got up from her desk and made her way over to the door, when she got there she squated down till she was eye level with me and smiled. Her smile was oddly comforting and reasuring and it also made me smile back at her. Suddenly i wasnt so scared anymore.

teacher: Hi im Mrs. Johnson, whats your name?

Spencer: I... Im S..spencer.

Mrs. Johnson: well Spencer im going to be your first grade teacher for the rest of the year, you don't have to be scared or anything okay.

i nodded and turned to Glen giving him a hug to thank him for walking me to class and also to let him know that i would be fine for the rest of the day as long as Mrs. Johnson was around. Glen returned the hug as he whispered into my ear.

Glen: See Spencer nothing to worry about, ill meet you right here after school, i love you and have a good day.

He kissed me on the cheek before going back down the hallway with the secretary heading back to his class. Mrs. Johnson stood up and held out her hand for me to take. I smiled up at her and gladdly took her offered hand. We walked to the center of the classroom and stood beside her desk, she smiled down at me before turning back to class.

Mrs. Johnson: Okay class this is Spencer Carlin. She just moved here from Ohio and i expect all of you to treat her how you would like to be treated. Lets all give her a warm welcome to our class.

Class: Hello Spencer Carlin from Ohio.

Mrs. Johnson: Okay Spencer why don't you go and sit at Ashley's table... Ashley raise your hand so Spencer knows who you are.

A small girl with brown hair raised her hand at the back of the classroom, she looked pretty annoyed about haveing to sit next to the new girl. I slowly made my way towards the back table and sat down in the empty seat. I gave her a weak smile to which she rolled her eyes and went back to doodling on her paper. The day seemed to be dragging on as if to torture me or something, all i wanted was for the day to be over so i could go home and not worry about making any new friends or being accepted by my new classmates. Lunchtime finally arrived and we all lined up to head down to the cafeteria, i stood at the back of the line but Mrs. Johnson had another idea.

Mrs. Johnson: Spencer since you are new why don't you go to the front of the line.

i reluctantly went to the front of the line and got my lunch. I looked around the lunchroom for someplace to sit, all of the tables where empty considering i got to go through the line first. I went to the table that was in the back corner and sat down, hopeing that someone would come and sit by me. Unfortunatly nobody came and sat with me they all stayed away from the table i was sitting at like i was infested with cooties or something even more disgusting. I was about halfway through eating my lunch when Ashley came over and sat right across from where i was sitting.I just looked at her with a shocked expression and she stared back as if she was waiting for me to say something. I blushed and then went back to eating my lunch to shocked and embarrassed to say anything to her, she didn't say anything to me either. It didn't bother me that she didn't say anything to me because that meant that i didn't have to have a weird conversation about nothing in particular with someone i didn't even know, i was just happy that someone actually sat with me. After lunch our class went to the library, the librarian read us a couple Dr. Seuss books and then told us we could each pick one to read on our own as long as we put our books back when we were done. After i finished reading my book i got up and went to go put it away. As soon as i rounded the bookcase i ran right into someone else knocking us both down onto the ground. she jumped up off the floor like it had burned or or something and i immediatly began to apologize.

girl: don't talk to me new girl you don't even know me.

i just sat there on the floor on the verge of tears with her smirking down at me. All of a sudden Ashley appeared out of nowhere and glared at the girl. She reached her hand out for me to take and helped me up off the floor before turning back to the girl i knocked down moments before.

Ashley: Maddison you where the new girl at the beginning of the year so don't even act like you are better than her.

Maddison glared at me and Ashley before shoving past us and heading back to where the rest of the class was. Ashley gave me a big smile before speaking again.

Ashley: Is this the book you were reading Spence?

Spencer: ummm uhhh ye... yeah.

Ashley: I love this book its my favorite.

Spencer: M...mine to, my grandpa gave it to me last christmas and he used to read it to me whenever i went to his house.

Ashley: thats cool i only see mine sometimes, so he doesn't read to me.

Spencer: im sorry, my grandpa died two months before we moved here.

I guess she could see how upset i was because the next thing i knew i was being pulled into a hug by the girl that i only just met a couple hours before. It was oddly comforting to be wrapped up in this girls bear hug. She didn't let go until Mrs. Johnson told everyone it was time for recess. Almost everyday since then Ashley and i have beened joined at the hip. Freshman year of high school Ashley told everyone she was gay, my mom didn't like that and forbade us from seeing eachother anylonger. the first half of the year i only got to see Ash at school and then one day in PE the coach told us that there would be basketball tryouts after school the following monday. I came up with the briliant plan of signing us up to play that way we could hang out longer and my mother couldn't do anything about it. We joined the team and we were really good at it, Ash was teased a lot of the time because she is gay and whatever so she didn't play for long. i stayed on the team for three reasons 1) my mom kept telling me that it would look great on college applications, 2) Ashley stayed after school and we would hang out while i waited for my mom, and 3) im good at it and its fun. Finally my dad convinced my mom how rediculous it was to keep me and Ashley from hanging out all the time because we still see eachother at school, so now we don't have to sneak around to hang out anymore, and i don't have to lie and tell mom im going to some kind of basketball sleepover just to stay the night at Ashleys house. Then there was the incident two weeks ago and mom wouldn't alow me to see anyone, she would take me to school and bring me home, all because i told her that i wasnt going to go out with the boy from church because i didn't like boys i like girls. Dad came to my rescue two days ago and told mom either she could accept me or get out of his house, turns out they are in the end stages of a divorce because she was cheating on him, and he was drinking to much, or whatever they said. Mom was angry that dad is okay with me being gay so she left and went to live with her boyfriend Ben. I wonder what Ashley is gonna say when i finally tell her im gay, and im in love with her...

end flashback

Glen: Earth to Spencer!

Spencer: What do you want Glen?

Glen: I was asking you if you were gonna get a ride from Ashley after school.

Spencer: don't i always.

Glen: well not this past two weeks but yeah.

Spencer: okay then no more stupid questions?

Glen: touche spence touche.

We both started laughing as we climbed out of his car, and i immediatly began to look around for my best friend. I saw her car two spaces down from where Glen had parked but i didn't see her inside of it or anywhere around it. I looked over towards the gym to see if maybe she was talking to Aiden like the other day but i only saw Aiden and Maddison argueing about something, probably about how she was over at my house with Glen last night. I rolled my eyes when Maddison glared at me and flipped me off, she is so childish. I sighed and turned to walk towards the quad to see if maybe she was waiting for me in there when two hands covered my eyes. I felt a familiar tingle from where the hands touched my face and automatically knew it was Ashley, i felt warm breath on my ear as she leaned in to whisper in my ear.

Ashley: Guess who?

Spencer: Hmmmm ummmmm Maddison?

Ashley: Ewwwww Spence thats nasty.

Spencer: Awwww i was only kidding Ash I knew it was you the moment your hands went over my eyes.

Ashley: Yeah hows that?

Spencer: well you and Glen are the only two that ever do that, and Glen is standing across the parking lot talking to Maddison, so that only leaves you.

Ashley: Damn now i gotta come up with a new way of surprising you.

Spencer: you do that Ash, you do that.

Ashley: Who were you looking for just now anyhow?

Spencer: you actually, i saw your car but i didn't see you.

Ashley: actually that's Kyla's car not mine.

Spencer: You drove the same car to school since we were sopmores Ash, i think i know what your car looks like, and its right there.

She started laughing before she grabbed my hand and pulled me down in the direction i had just pointed in. when we got to the car i had just pointed at we stopped. Instead of the black mustang that im so used to it was a dark blue, i could feel my cheeks start to turn red from embarrassment knowing that Kyla and Ashley had the same care except they were different colors. Ashley started laughing again before pointing at another car a couple spaces down from Kyla's.

Ashley: you see that pourche right there, thats my new baby.

i just stared in disbeliefe at the brand new black pourche sitting five or six spaces down from Kyla's car. she just stood there patiently waiting for me to say something.

Spencer: your kidding right?

Ashley: no what makes you think im kidding?

Spencer: One, you said you would never own a pourche, and two, your car is hot.

Ashley: True true.

Spencer: why did you buy a pourche Ash?

Ashley: i remember my dad had one when i was little and yeah the sound system is amazing.

Spencer: wow

She gave me one of her nose crinkleing smiles and thats when i could tell that she was really proud of her new car. I smiled back at her before walking over to her brand new car.

Spencer: do i get to drive it?

Ashley: sorry Spence but no, last time i let you drive one of my cars you crashed it into my garage.

Spencer: come on Ash i was fifteen and had never driven a car before.

Ashley: and you have never driven since so no way are you driving my new baby.

Spencer: do i at least get to play with the radio?

Ashley: as long as you don't break it.

Spencer: How is that even possible?

Ashley: your gonna have to ask Ky about that one.

we both started laughing after she said that, as our laughter died down i faintly heard the bell ring in the distance telling us we were now late for class.

Spencer: Shit!

Ashley: whats wrong?

Spencer: the bell just rang so we are late for class.

Ashley: why don't we just skip?

Spencer: ummm lets see because my dad will kill me.

Ashley: come on its the last day of school, we already turned in all out books, and plus hows your dad gonna know if we just hang out at my place?

Spencer: Although all of those are good points i'm still not convinced that skiping is the right thing to do.

Ashley: we can watch movies, go swimming, and ill even cook for you.

Spencer: Your sure my dad won't find out?

Ashley: I promise he won't

Spencer: Okay i guess we can skip just this once.

Ashley: Really!

Spencer: Yeah really, why are you so shocked?

Ashley: ive only been askin' you to skip with me since last year and you never agreed before.

Spencer: theres always a first time for everything, now lets go before i change my mind.

She chuckled a little bit before getting into the car. I looked at the car one more time before busting out in laughter. Ashley just looked at me with the cutest confused look that i have ever seen as i climbed into the passangers seat.

Ashley: whats so funny Spence?

Spencer: Only you would have a license plate that says SEXY

Ashley: Not true my cousin Jasmine has one that says 2 SEXY on it.

Spencer: Jasmine must be more stuck on herself than you are.

Ashey: It's not my fault i know im sexy.

i rolled my eyes and slowly put my seatbelt on before turning back to face Ashley.

Ashley: come on Spence you know im sexy.

Spencer: Yeah yea, just get us out of here sexy.

she rolled her eyes at me this time before flooring it out of the school parking lot. I started playing with the radio looking for a good song but none of the stations had anything playing. I let out a frustrated sigh before leaning back in my seat and closeing my eyes.

Spencer: why is there never any good songs on the radio?

Ashley: I wouldn't say never Spence, the last time you were over at my house i recall you dancin' around my room to some random song on the radio.

Spencer: It had a good beat and you know you thought it was a good song.

Ashley: no i just thought it was cute how you were dancing around my bedroom.

Spencer: you were dancing too Ash.

Ashley: no i wasn't Spence i was trying to get to my closet and you grabbed me and made me dance with you.

I started laughing as she rolled her eyes and pulled into the long driveway up to her house. As we got closer to the huge house we both noticed a black lexus sitting in front of the garages, my laughter imediatly stopped when i noticed the look of hurt cross over Ashley's face. The look of hurt instantly changed into one of anger, the only person i could think of that could make her feel this way is her mother. She didn't even stop the car before throwing it in reverse and spinning the car around and speeding out of the drive. she sped down the road towards an unknown location, i didn't know what to say to calm her down so i did the only thing i could think of. I reached across the center consoul of the car and squeezed her hand. She seemed to relax after that and she slowed the car down, only then did i realize that she had began to cry. I squeezed her hand harder to let her know that everything would be okay.

Spencer: Ash pull over please, you can't drive when you this upset.

She ignored me and kept driving in the unknown location. i noticed that she was speeding up and her tears were comeing faster and harder.

Spencer: Ash please your scareing me...

Ashley finally pulled into a lot that overlooked the entire city, a place i didn't even know exhisted. As soon as she turned the car off she got out and walked over to a bench on the other side of the lot. I slowly got out of the car and walked over to her, i sat down on the bench next to her and wrapped my arms around her as tight as i could and let her cry.

Spencer: shhhh its okay Ash.

She seemed to relax into me as I started to rub her back in soothing circles. When her sobs started to die down I pulled back slightly and looked at the broken girl infront of me. I wiped the remaining tears from her face and smiled at her. She gave me a weak smile before looking down at the ground out of embarrassment.

Ashley: im sorry Spence.

Spencer: don't be sorry Ash just tell me whats wrong

Ashley: he used to come around this same time every year….

Spencer: Who Ash?

Ashley: Grandpa used to come around this time every year. The past four years he hasn't come around though.

Spencer: why?

Ashley: you know how I came out to everyone right before freshman year. He was the first person I told other than you because he was the only other person that I trusted. Instead of him understanding he told me that I disgusted him and that he never wanted to see me again. Then he went on to tell me that nobody could ever love someone as disgusting as me and some other shit. He didn't even come back when dad died last year, he didn't care that his only son died. I don't understand, why does he have to be here now? What could he possibly want?

Spencer: Im sorry Ash, I wish I could give you all the answers.

Ashley: whats worse is knowing that he was right. Nobody will ever love me im gonna die alone and only two people are going to care.

Spencer: he couldn't have been more wrong Ashley.

Ashley: he is spence and I hate that he is. I'm eighteen and not even my own mother loves me, let alone anyone our age.

Spencer: I love you Ash.

Ashley: you're my best friend though Spence, of course you love me.

Spencer: you don't under….

Ashley: Spence I want someone to love me like your dad loves your mom, or how kyla loves Aiden, I want someone to be in love with me, don't get m….

I didn't let her finish what she was saying before I leaned forward and capturing her lips in a slow gentle kiss. It only lasted a couple seconds before I pulled away and looked deep into Ashley's brown eyes. I slowly stood up and looked down at her before speaking again.

Spencer: I love you like that Ash.

After I said that I turned and started walking back to the car, after about five steps I felt a hand grab mine and spin me around.

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and I hope to get the second chapter up by tomorrow. Review and let me know what you think.