Finding Hope: Leaving the Jedi
Ahsoka Tano has left the Jedi Order, and now she's walking down the steps of the Temple. One shot, set directly after the Season Five finale.


I'll never let anyone hurt you Ahsoka, never.

It had not occurred to Ahsoka just how empty Anakin's promise was. In the heat of the moment during their confrontation in the sewers it had been mere white noise.

But later, after she'd thrown herself into the Underworld, she'd clung harder to these words than the fact that she was innocent. Protecting them from every gust of wind, every rainfall, everything and everyone that threatened to blow it out like the tiny, flickering flame that it was.

Now it was gone. And she had no matches. No hope.

It was a struggle to put one foot in front of the other, and in spite of her decision, Ahsoka could feel tears welling up in her eyes as she descended the stairs of the Jedi Temple.

Stop, a voice in the back of her head commanded. It doesn't have to be like this. Anakin's right—your entire life is the Jedi. You'll never be able to live with yourself if you throw it all away.

"Was my life," she whispered quietly, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. She hated this. She hated the Council. And most of all, she hated herself.

She'd fought Trandoshan hunters, been held captive by Zygerrian slavers and been up against the personification of the dark side. She knew what suffering was.

But nothing had threatened to break her so quickly and cleanly as this.

Ahsoka, Anakin nudged the bond. The Force rang with his guilt and confusion, and it took every ounce of self-control she possessed not to turn around and run back up the Temple's steps and tell him she was just kidding. That it was a joke.

She couldn't betray herself, although she truly doubted her resolve.

Before the former Padawan even knew what she was doing, she blocked him, slamming up her mental walls. As much as she would miss Anakin and what they had together, she needed to move on for her own clarity.

It was ironic how the first step in becoming and then not becoming a Jedi was letting go. A cruel inverse if there ever was one.

Too lost in thought to pay attention and too tired to feel that her body was anything but a lump of lead, Ahsoka's head got ahead of her feet and she tripped. She skipped a few steps.

But she didn't fall.

Something—something she couldn't see—was holding her up in midair. Unable to breathe, unable to even think, she stared down the several hundred steps she could have fallen down.

That would have killed her.

Whatever was holding her up set her back down, and she just sat there for a moment, shaking. Finally, she looked slowly over her shoulder.

Anakin stood at the top of the stairs, his face expressionless. He stayed there for a moment more, and then nodded and turned to go back inside the Temple.

Something nudged her mind.

May the Force be with you.

Ahsoka got to her feet, staring as her Master disappeared back into the Jedi Temple. And although for the first time in her entire life she questioned the Jedi Order and everything she believed in, she knew right then and there: she would always be a Jedi.

A smile pulling at her mouth, she started walking down the steps again, standing a little straighter and feeling a little lighter.

May the Force be with you, Anakin, she shot back, determined not to be bitter.

Once again, her wick was lit.

Now, she thought to herself. Where am I going to sleep?