(A/N: The Wildcat is the name for the shoulder sleeve insignia of the 81st infantry division. The 81st dates back to the late 1910's, during which time they fought bravely in France during WWI. Today, 81st Wildcats are identified with unique patches, which are worn on the left shoulder and flushed with the fatigues. They are distinguished with the black form of a cat running.)
(A/N: In today's army, though it is not encouraged, cursing is a common practice. During a casual, calm conversation, one might hear cursing every other sentence. When the soldier is upset or 'worked-up', the cursing may increase up to every other word. In light of prospectively offending the reader, the cursing has either been changed or eliminated.)
(A/N: The genre of 'General' is assigned to this work for lack of adequate description. This is actually a complication of many genres integrated into one.)
(A/N: To Legomance fans and writers, my condolences. Legolas is anything but a hero within this plot.)
/song, musical, or movie reference/
-Kat's thoughts-
&Kat's memories&
Chapter 1:
An American Soldier
Kat's ears were deaf to the cadence the squad leader was shouting, her mind going through the "Sergeant Bilko" version just to keep her legs moving.
/"I can barely move my legs.
Do me a favor, kill me now.
Something, something rhymes with legs.
My life is over anyhow.
One, two
Three, four
Bring it all down
One, two, three, four"/
It was pessimistic and its origin, though the movie had a military setting, was too inane, but with Kat's shoulder, hip, lungs, and heart all threatening to remove themselves from her aching body it was perfectly set and even funny.
"…Air Force Ranger.
Guts and danger.
"I want to be an auto mechanic
I want live life so frantic.
Auto mechanic.
Life so frantic.
The first time Kat had heard this cadence was when her brother… no, the first time was from watching "The Breakfast Club". The second time she heard it was when her brother was getting her in shape for basic training. At the time, Kat was tempted to rip out his larynx just to stop him from making any noise, since she was annoyed as it was to be up at five o'clock and running two miles straight.
"I want to be a combat medic
Kat's attention sharpened to this part of the cadence, since that was close enough to her specialty.
"I want to distribute anesthetic
Combat medic
Anesthetic…"
Kat returned once again to the silent cadence in her head, not caring for the other verses. She let her breathing and the rhythm of "Sergeant Bilko" set her pace. Neither breath nor cadence alleviated the pain, but only served to push her on.
Her unspoken cadence was one of the small things that kept her from breaking when it had come to basic training. With it, she had retained her sense of humor and wit. Those nine weeks of training were callous to the mind and body, but Kat had found refuge and shields in various escapes.
When the drill sergeant had started yelling in her face, Kat simply unfocused her eyes and removed her consciousness from the present and said and did what had to be done until the drill sergeant moved on to her next victim. When Kat had thought she couldn't take another step or give another pushup, a song would surface in her head from her childhood and she would let the melody sooth her weariness, allowing Kat to continue.
"Route time, march!" Sergeant First Class Houng Nguyen, though everyone informally called him Newt, called out. Her group slowed from 'double time' (aka running) to a walk. Each struggled to calm their breathing as the weariness caught up with them.
After a few moments of informal marching, Newt led them back into formal marching (quick time). "Group, halt."
Two steps later, the entire squad was standing at attention, never minding the heat or their exhaustion or their want to breathe heavily. Newt turned and examined his detail, his upward-slanted almond eyes critically looking for any defects. If there were any, Kat was obdurate it wouldn't have anything to do with her. Newt examined his detail for perhaps a minute, though he wouldn't go farther than that; he also was showing signs of exhaustion, sweat, and pain. He looked to his watch and Kat prayed that the physical conditioning was over.
In front of her stood Wally, his knees locked and limp in the heat. His crew cut hair kept it difficult to know what color it really was, and Kat wouldn't have known if she hadn't once overheard others in the company teasingly call him Blondie. Kat was worried; Wally could easily suffer heat stroke and collapse. But she could do nothing about it, except try to catch the squad leader's eye and maybe hopefully have him follow her gaze to Wally. She was a soldier and would remain at attention until dismissed or her particular skills were required - Wally actually collapsing.
Either finding no flaws or too tired himself, Newt dismissed the squad. Responding with the usual, "Hooah," the squad dissolved.
Wally and Reggie collapsed on the nearby lawn under the Californian trees, just wanting to catch their breath. Ty started pacing around, cooling down his muscles before stopping altogether. Kat, on the other hand, kept her composure and pretended this physical training had been nothing at all.
Without waiting for anyone, Kat turned on the sharp of her heel and made for the woman's locker room. She sometimes wondered why she insisted on getting things like showering over and done without even stopping for leisure. It wasn't as if she had to avoid other females.
Women were few in numbers in the military, too few for ease. Because Kat joined the reserves, she had thought the number of women would give her comfort. True, there were more women, but not enough for comfort. In her squad, she was the only woman - and that was statistically normal. To Kat, that scarcity was both a curse and a blessing. There was a saying that held true for many females deployed for a year to the Middle East – 'Queen for a year'. While this didn't affect some females that she met, the majority that she knew grew such prima donna complexes that Kat wanted nothing to do with them. Some female soldiers were professionals who did their jobs and kept their lives and their jobs separate, and all the rest – to be quite frank and crass – were sluts! They used men, their sexuality, and their position to gain whatever they desired! True, some males did that too, but she saw it more with the females than the males.
That was the main reason Kat got along far better with married soldiers.
Kat stripped off her sweat drenched shirt, tossing it in the locker before her. She felt much cooler now. When she had finished undressing, Kat went to the showers without a care. Maybe once in a while she would run into another woman, but Kat neither notice nor care.
With the cool water flowing down her back, Kat felt at ease and stretched her muscles as so they wouldn't cramp from the former physical training. She would not let go of her barricade she had set up during basic training when she was relaxed as now. Kat grabbed the soap and started firstly with her hands. Her hands were always first… it was a nurse habit.
As much as it surprised her, her hands (from stopping her falls, fighting bigger soldiers, cutting and scratching themselves on various objects, and even covered with dirt or grease or blood) always had a dainty outline to them. They weren't long and slender like those of fairytale princesses, but petite, smooth, and with slender stumps as fingers – almost like a child's hand. Perhaps it was the way her hand always held an elegant, curled poise, like one ready to play a harp or a guitar.
Finished cleaning her hands, Kat carelessly washed the face, which was complex in itself. It was an odd mixture of strength (square jaw), sweetness (plump, cupid bow lips), elegance (high cheek bones), intelligence (large, slanted eyes), and (unless they saw the battle-hardened face that caused them to soil their pants) gave others an urge to cuddle and baby her.
Babying and cuddling were the two things Kat cringed from. For years now, she had tried to impress on others that she did not need to be taken care of or sheltered. She may have views that were ideal, but that in no means equated naivety or purity. She had come to a conclusion that, though it was evident to others of her endurance, there was simply something about her manner that invited such conduct.
Kat leaned her face into the pelting water and let the soap run off. Her hands wiped away the remaining soap and water. Now she needed to clean off the dirt and sweat on her body.
Her wide bone structure made her tiny body an hourglass figure at best. It wasn't like those runway models with tummy tucks, liposuction, face-lifts, and other mutilations to form what was the ideal of perfection. The army hadn't taken into account of her pelvic bone structure and kept her below her desired weight. She could feel her ribs, spine, and even the bottom of her hipbone. That left little room for muscle and even smaller room for fat - and that wasn't good (nutrition wise).
Kat turned slowly in the shower, letting the soap rinse off. Her hands automatically wiped her eyes of the water and proceeded through her hair. Before entering the army, Kat had been told her greatest beauty was her 'new penny' hair, as her mother would put it (or wild fire depending on the light). Kat remembered the gasp and saddened look her mother gave when Kat had come home a couple of days before basic training with her thick, long hair cut close to the scalp. It wasn't necessary for her to cut it, but felt that there were more important things than hair. Besides, Kat - at that time - had a suspicion that she would not get much time to care for the one part of her that amplified every beauty she had during basic training.
Functionality over beauty.
Not many girls or women understood that principle. For most girls, it was malls, manicures, makeovers, gossip, boys, parties, and popularity with them. Not Kat. When she learned that an aloe vera plant had more uses than a daisy, she got herself an aloe vera plant. When five o'clock came, it was either a book, running, or turning onto a learning or news channel instead of 'Buffy' or 'Family Guy; with shows like that running, it wasn't any wonder that Iraqis thought the U.S. to be a devil nation. She disliked the idea of covering one's own face - it seemed to her that all beauty products did were increase customer dependence since. She had no respect for following trends - mainly because trends were just that and would not last. She was repulsed at others' harming the body just because for the common view.
Kat's fingers ran through the short hair she had purposely kept short. The lack of length still took her by surprise each time, but Kat had made a decision and would stick with it for better or for worse. She had barely cut it before returning to California to drill two weeks in the summer with her company - as agreed with any person in the reserves. Slightly longer than a traditional man's clean-cut haircut, Kat still had trouble controlling it. People read about the famous 'wild, fire hair', but what they didn't know was that it had a mind of its own and would never submit to a comb. With its volume and refusal to stay put, Kat had been tempted many times to just shave it all like "G.I. Jane."
Kat grabbed her nearby towel and dried herself off quickly. That was another advantage of short hair - dries quickly.
Kat did not hurry putting on a fresh set of clothes, nor did she take her time. She had the rest of the day off. Tomorrow….
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow would be the day Kat's squad would be going into a simulation battle. The object would be to get the entire squad to the other side of obstacle course with the least amount of 'casualties' in the quickest time. Already the guys were opening pots and taking bets on which squad would end up in which place. This type of activities bred contentions between squads and there ended up everything short of an actual fight. Kat would take no note of them, allowing them to bask in their own testosterone surge.
Kat was now fully dressed. She grabbed her sunglasses and shut her locker, momentarily coughing from the before exercise. She listened tensely. Good. No one heard that.
Kat never really liked the Californian sunlight all that much, so it was little wonders that she chose the shadiest path to the chow hall. Another good part was few walked this path, even if Kat were in uniform, it would be unlikely that she would have to salute. The fighting and facing stress she could handle - it was the etiquette and respect part that she couldn't.
When Kat first entered the mess hall, she slid her card down the slot and waited for the meal to deduct more from her account. She took a tray and was scuttled down the lines with other soldiers. She looked down at the variety when she could; noting what there was that would fit within her vegetarian diet.
She wasn't a vegetarian for 'animal rights' or cult beliefs, but because she just couldn't take the taste any longer. Though some had told her it was passing a phase and would soon grow into her taste for meat again, Kat hadn't believed them - and with good reason, seeing as she had been a vegetarian for five years now. The only problem was to keep it a low profile. Anything different among soldiers marked you for nagging from others at the least.
When she had filled her tray with fruits, vegetables, a glass of water, and a bit of meat for appearances, Kat turned and scanned the room.
She was not the type to make friends easily, and didn't feel comfortable to sit among strangers. She knew how awkward it was to be sitting at a table with no desire for others to approach, only to have a stranger sit across from you and start talking to you as if you two were childhood friends. She wouldn't do that to anyone. That, and Kat was – to a point – shy.
With that in mind, Kat took a seat at an empty table near a table of girls. Being close to those of the same gender was reassuring.
Lunch usually was a wonderful time, when Kat could just sit and eat lazily, listen in on conversations, and not have to add anything to it at all. And if she did want to - well, that's why there was the phrase of 'muttering under one's breath.' Kat let her mind flow and catch words and phrases.
"… Just look at… thinks… better than ev… "
Through the clamor of the mess hall, Kat could hear the girls from the next table talking among themselves. She had a distinct feeling they were talking about her, making her hearing peak.
"You mean, Miss Ice Queen?"
"Puh-lease, don't start complimenting her."
"I'm trying to decide whether she's living under a rock or made of one."
"I said, don't compliment her."
"What if I said I'd be giving a celebration if a stray bullet just happens to find that one?"
"I know… She thinks she's all that, trying to prove that she's one of the guys… "
No, she hadn't ever tried to prove that she was an equal. She was aiming for superiority. It was either all or nothing. Either better than all the guys, or just another Daddy's girl wanting to follow in his footsteps. There was no in-between for Kat.
"Yeah. What's up with that? Is she aiming for Miss United States or something? I mean, I heard she got the highest score on the ASVAB possible; she runs all of us and most the guys into the dirt; you heard how she kicked that drill sergeant's ass when it came to hand-to-hand; she took one of the most advanced courses offered; all the officers like her; she never breaks down, yells, cries, or anything. What is she? A robot?"
"If she is, then they did a botched job on her looks."
Kat heard them laugh, but it did nothing to upset her. She had always known she was far from pretty. Throughout all her public schooling, her peers made sure she knew that. After twenty-three years of facing herself in the mirror everyday she had accepted it and saw through it. After twenty-three years, Kat had learned there was much more to her than just skin, hair, and teeth.
"Who knows, she might be pretty…if she'd just stop wearing that face. She looks at everyone as if we're pond scum."
"You're telling me. You know Karen's boyfriend… the one with the green eyes. Well, she told me that when her boyfriend took this one class with her, she had this look in her eyes that made him want to climb back up inside his mom's belly."
Kat chuckled at the idea of a full-grown man trying to fit back into his mother's abdomen. And for him to be scared of her… she chuckled again… was quite amusing.
Kat swigged down the last of her water and left the table, leaving the tray on the conveyer belt that led to the dishwashing station. Her eyes caught the attention of the table of girls as she passed by and exited the dining hall.
She smiled to herself, thinking how her family and Lil would have reacted if they heard the girls' report of her. Her family, and even Lil, would disbelieve it without a second thought. They knew she had a temper and an independent streak, but they also knew she could be the gentlest and sweetest girl in existence. Kat just never let anyone in the army see that side of her; sweetness attracted manipulation. That she knew from experience.
Kat quickly put on her shades and pulled her cap out of her pack. Her eyes had a low tolerance for sunlight, as did her skin; which was why she wore jeans and a gray long-sleeved shirt despite the summer's heat. She headed towards the main entrance as she searched for her ID card; the guards were insistent on everyone showing identification before letting them through the gates (new security system since September eleventh).
With the rest of the day free, Kat was able to do whatever she wanted. But even that limited down her choices; she was used to being without friends and doing what others would call tedious - though it was her option of entertainment.
Let's see… there was nothing new in the cinema that would interest her (she had watched "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" eight times already and Johnny Depp's affect was losing its luster), she didn't have enough time to rent a car and go to Disneyland, there wasn't enough time to read that new book that was supposed to come in today, she didn't want to buy a CD since she didn't have a CD player… what to do…
Well, she could always go to the library and answer that email to her friend in Texas. And Kat could also finish that fanfiction she had promised her.
&Lil (Liliath) and Kat (Katherine) had met during their nursing training in Ft. Lewis, Washington, assigned as roommates. In the interest of keeping the peace in that estrogen pool, both Lil and Kat had a silent agreement to let the other to their own devices. They were polar opposites: one quiet, one who couldn't stop talking; one fashion savvy, one whose wardrobe was all one color; one who preferred action movies, one who digged chick flicks; one who spent an hour applying makeup, one who pulled a comb through her hair and thought that was good; one who dated frequently and with variety, one who refused to approach any guy unless it was for work; one who loved sunny beaches, one who soaked in the peace of a light rain in the forest; one a speed demon, one who abided by traffic laws; one who loved wolves, one who could ride the wildest horse; one ambitious, one who was satisfied with her situation in life.
It wasn't long into the year long course when Lil's latest 'casual flirt/boyfriend' had called to cancel their plans – apparently he had backed his car into the brand new sports car of the barrack's first sergeant and had been assigned extra duties on top of paying for both car's damages – and Lil was left with nothing to do but mope around. It was out of sheer boredom that when Kat had left her laptop to use the restroom, Lil skimmed over the words on the screen. A few minutes later, she was stuttering out something between an excuse and an apology to her roommate, whose face was red as her hair with embarrassment that someone discovered she wrote fanfiction.
It ended up that Lil had loved Kat's stories and the estranged roommates began to bond over ideas and plots. Conversation veered different directions and they began to notice other things they had in common. They found out that they both loved Jane Austin and thought that Mr. Darcy was the dreamy guy. No matter how much either of them stayed out in the sun, they would both burn red, then return translucent in a few days. They found it ridiculous that some girls in the barracks didn't even know how to wash laundry, much less sew on a button, etc. They were both embarrassed how they loved to dance to the music during the credits of a movie. They could go hours just reading a good book, which didn't include Harlequins. Though it was good to be spontaneous once in a while, they believed in having a detailed plan that included Murphy's Law. Lil and Kat were mirror images of each other; exactly the same, but the opposite.
After finishing training, Lil had returned to Texas near the Gulf of Mexico and Kat to her inland Rocky Mountains. Kat continued to e-mail Lil some ideas and plots, sometimes to make her laugh or to read her honest opinion about something. But now, their ideas had started to drift. Lil was leaning more towards "Angel" and "The Gilmor Girls", while Kat preferred "Star Wars" and "Lord of the Rings". At least both of them did their homework of all the subjects, Kat especially on "Lord of the Rings".&
When the first Peter Jackson "Lord of the Rings" movie came out, Kat felt that she needed to read the book to understand what in blazes was going on. As she read on, she found many references to older days, lore, and languages. To understand them, she bought and read "The Silmarillion". She hadn't gone five words into the book before she judged that she needed "The Complete Guide to Middle-Earth", just so she could sort out who and what the book was talking about. After completing "The Silmarillion", Kat somehow thought there were many parts missing between each story - that there was more to it. That was when Kat read through "The Unfinished Tales", "The Adventures of Tom Bombadil", and the histories of Middle-Earth ("The Book of Lost Tales I, II", "The Lays of Beleriand", "The Shaping of Middle-Earth", "The Lost Road and Other Writings", "The Return of the Shadow", "The Treason of Isengard", "The War of the Ring", "Sauron Defeated", "Morgoth's Ring", "The War of the Jewels", and "The Peoples of Middle-Earth). Much of the ideas contradicted, but when in doubt, Kat relied on the earliest works.
"The Lord of the Rings" was a masterpiece in literature - so well thought out and deep that one would almost believe it to be real. So good, that Kat couldn't help but to have fun with it and create her own characters to interact with Tolkien's. Toying with the stories was just too tempting.
Originally, Lil emphasized on "The Lord of the Rings", since she had been in love with that Legolas character since the age of ten – that girl was always after some blond. But Lil worked more with television series, since she herself couldn't get past the first paragraph of "The Silmarillion". Kat chuckled at the thought of a ten-year old Lil pouring over "The Lord of the Rings" and falling head over heels with a flippant elf. True, after Orlando Bloom had played Legolas, there was now hardly a girl that wasn't head over heels, but Kat still couldn't help feeling the character Legolas was not quite up to her standards.
Kat allowed her stern expression to soften as she concluded she would go to the library. She knew a route that would take her near the beach and would allow her to watch the waves.
As Kat walked along the sidewalks, ignoring when someone made a cat whistle and hoping they choked on their next meal, the bright sunlight would darken due to a passing cloud more and more often. By the time she reached the beach, the western horizon was covered with one large blanket of gray.
She leaned against the railing of the walk next to the beach. The ocean before her was offering larger waves to the surfers. Out in the distance, where the water was a deeper blue, the clouds had forbidden sunlight and only allowing lightening for light. The atmosphere was gray. And if Kat weren't wearing shades, any passing pedestrians would have thought she had somehow trapped that same scene and colors within her eyes.
This might not be good. If the storm held up through tomorrow, Kat would be going through the combat drill in it. Sighing, she wondered if her superiors made sure to watch the weather channel before such events, making it the hardest for her. What was the saying… 'If it's not raining, we're not training'? It was just like the 'If it's not snowing, we're not going' phrase.
Kat walked angrily towards the library, intent now more than ever to e-mail Kal. Now she could waste all her time between now and when she had to be on base tomorrow. She was definitely sticking her nose in a good book if she could. Tomorrow would be a hellish day, so she had a good reason to pamper herself beforehand.
