Alec Hardy stared up at the big sea foam blue house in front of him. It was… nice. It was three stories with a beautiful covered veranda and a low stone wall fencing in the front yard but it just seemed too…
"Well, what do you think?" Ellie Miller asked. She shifted little Fred to her other hip as he started to squirm.
"It's a bit… big" Alec replied.
To be honest he didn't really like it. He could understand why she had moved. Her old white house was a place of tarnished memories. Alec just couldn't understand why she had moved so far and yet so close. This house as close to Broadchurch as you could get while still being part of the next town over. When he had run away from his town it was because everyone thought it was his fault the Sandbrooke case fell apart. But Ellie wasn't at fault here. She was as much a victim of Danny Latimer's murder as Danny and the Latimer family. People were finally beginning to see that.
"Oh, it's not that big." Ellie said.
"How many rooms it got?" Hardy asked
At this Ellie couldn't quite meet his eye. "Five" she replied.
"Five?" Alec just looked down at her. "At most you need three"
Ellie raised her head and look Alec in the eye. "Not true. There's one for me, one for Tom and one for Fred once he's old enough to have his own room but the other two rooms are spares for Lucy and Olly should they come to visit. See just the right amount space"
"Still too big for you"
"The house is not too big. Any really your opinion isn't needed. I've already bought it and started moving our stuff in." Ellie stalked forward digging the house key out of pocket as she walk up the few stairs that led onto the veranda.
"What stuff?" Alec asked from behind her. "You sold everything that wasn't the kids' beds, dressers or toys."
"We have clothes don't we? Besides I've already replaced all the kitchen and dish ware." Ellie huffed.
She inserted the key into the lock and opened the door revealing a modest tiled mudroom. Slipping her shoes off Ellie entered into the house proper and headed for the kitchen, Alec following slowly behind. Ellie placed Fred in his highchair before turning to the counter and grabbing the kettle.
"Tea?" she asked.
Alec frowned. "You know I can't-"
"It's chamomile and I made sure it was caffeine free. I bought it specifically so you couldn't turn me down and be forced to be social for once in your life." Ellie cut him off.
As Ellie puttered around the kitchen, Alec continued to observe the first floor of the house. It was a mostly open floor plan. The kitchen and dining area opened up into the living room where a nice wood burning fire place was. There were three doors off the right of the open area. And he eyes them.
"The first door is the laundry room, the second is a half bath and the third is a den. Here." Ellie handed his cup tea.
"Mmm" was all Alec said.
"What?"
"I still say the house is too big"
"It only looks that way because there's no furniture. Give it a few months and you'll see."
Alecs' 'Hmph' was lost as Fred began to protest being ignored by the adults. A bright smile that almost reached her eyes lit across Ellie's face as turned to her two and half year old son.
"I know, you're hungry" Ellie said to Fred.
She ruffled his hair as she walked past his highchair to the fridge and began setting about to make lunch. She didn't even bother to ask for former boss if he wanted any. She knew he hadn't had breakfast as per usual and would be damned if she bought his probable excuse of having picked something up on the drive out to Broshire.
With Fred settled in with a shallow bowl of applesauce for his playing pleasure Ellie sat on a bar stool at the kitchen island. A Peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some crisps on her plate to enjoy with her tea. Alec leaned against the island, sandwich in one hand tea cup in the other, slowly munching on his current mouthful.
"You don't even have a table" Alec said after a sip of his tea.
"Who needs a table when we have this gorgeous island? It's plenty big for us to eat at." Ellie defended.
Alec just took another bite of his sandwich. "Tom back at school?" He asked changing the subject.
Ellie nodded "Reluctantly. He's terrified the kids here will figure out who he is. He was bullied quite a bit before I found this place and was able to move. He hates me for not changing our last names."
"Why didn't you?"
"Would believe me if I told you Miller is my surname? It was something… something Joe and I… we used to joke that because we had the same name that it meant we were destined to be together. Now I think it's just a curse. It means that even when the divorce goes through I'll still be DS Ellie Miller, ex-wife of a child killer and my boys will still be Tom and Fred Miller sons of peadofile." Ellie explained.
She stared at the cooling cup of tea in her hands. She didn't want to talk about this. She just wanted to forget. Forget that she had ever married, forget that he had ever fathered her two beautiful boys, forget that she had ever met Joe Miller. It's why she sold everything. Looking at a mug, or the couch, or even painting on the wall brought some memory or another of her soon to be ex-husband. She had thought getting out of town having a new house would be enough. She hadn't thought that having to replace all her furniture to make this new house feel like home would have been a bigger a reminder then anything else.
Ellie could feel Alec's gaze on her but she didn't look up at him. She knew his opinion of this whole affair. Alec thought she should have stayed in Braodchurch and in way she wished she had. It was where she was born and grew up. She longest she had ever left Broadchurch was when she was off to get her police training back when she had been fresh out of school. But she just could stand to be in that house anymore or feel the people's accusing stares as she walked down High Street. When the school had rang her to tell of how Tom was being bullied it had been the excuse she was looking for to leave. The closest primary school was an hours drive away in Broshire. It made sense to move there instead of driving Tom there for school everyday then driving back to Broadchurch for work. She would have spent four hours a day commuting. By moving she cut that down to two. She still got those terrible looks while she was following up on leads but they weren't as constant as they would have been if she had stayed. Thankfully since the investigation into her had cleared her of all knowledge of Joe's crime and gave her the green light to return to work the stares had lessened but those with children particularly children around the age the Danny had been continued to stare.
"How did the entrance interview go?" Alec asked.
Ellie sighed. "It went okay. The asked the standard questions, had Tom write a quiz, had me fill out some paperwork. I'm sure you remember what it was like to register your daughter."
"Aye. I remember the paper work was more tedious than anything I've ever had to fill out for work." Alec said.
Ellie chuckled a little and let a small smile spread across her lips. "Yeah it is."
"Did they ask about Joe?" Alec asked.
"Yes but before I could say anything Tom jumped in and said he didn't have a dad. Said I had used a sperm bank." Ellie said. "I couldn't bring myself to contradict him."
Alec nodded his head and leaned back on the counter top, his hands out behind him. "Well that's one way to one way to explain the absence of a father."
"Yeah."
There was a long silence that followed; Broken only by Fred happily smashing his hands in his applesauce and smearing it all over his face and the tray of his chair in his attempts to get it in his mouth. Both Ellie and Alec watched him for a bit.
Finally Ellie asked. "What are you going to do, sir?"
"Not much for me to do. I'm on medical leave until I get that ruddy surgery." Alec said.
Ellie narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. "And are you going to get the surgery?"
"No. There's a chance that I'll die if I do agree to it. I'd rather keep living not knowing when my heart will finally give out then go in knowing I probably won't come out."
"Oh they always say that. It's a liability issue. Even when it's really basic surgery they have to say you might die because of some unforeseen issue like say you have a bad reaction to the anesthesia. It's just standard procedure" Ellie said. "Oh! Fred!"
Fred had thrown a tiny handful of applesauce onto the island counter. It had made a very satisfying splat sound and few bits had then proceeded to bounce up once more and splatter across Ellie's plate and, Ellie tried so hard to hold in her laughter and mortification, the back off her former bosses black suit jacket.
Ellie got up and went to the sink to grab the dish flannel. "I'm sorry Sir. Here."
Alec took the damp flannel and started to wipe his jacket off.
"It's alright Ellie. Kids do things like that." He said.
"Just because it's something kids do doesn't make right for them to do it." Ellie said.
Ellie turned to Fred, bending over to meet his smiling, giggling eyes. She had to try very hard not to smile. It really was relief to her that Fred was too young to ever remember anything that was happening right now. He wouldn't be haunted by Joe like she and Tom would be.
"You, little man." She poked Fred's little shoulder. "Do not throw your food. Food is for eating; it's yummy and makes you grow up big and strong."
Fred just squealed in glee and waved his chubby arms in the air, clapping his messy hands to make a squelching sound that just made him laugh even more. Ellie couldn't help it, she let the smile she was trying to hold back light up her face and reached out to ruffle Fred dark curls. Moments of happiness had been rare for her these past weeks but Fred and Tom could always make her smile. The flannel she had given to Alec appeared in her peripheral vision and she turned her towards where Alec was holding it out to her.
"You might want to clean him up a bit." Was all he said.
Ellie took it and he turned around to give her some space as clean up her toddler but stopped when he heard the sound Ellie attempting to hold back her laughter. Alec turned back to her.
"What?" he asked.
"You, ah, you missed a spot on your back. Turn around, let me get it." Ellie said.
She circled her finger in the air telling Alec to do as she said. He turned and moments later felt one of her hands on his shoulder as the other wiped the flannel down the center of his jacket. She patted his shoulder to tell him she was finished. Alec grunted his thanks then walked out of the room towards the front room to look out the window. Ellie turned back to Fred and began to wipe him down.
"Did you manage to eat even a little bit of this?" She asked him.
It did appear as though he had just smeared all the applesauce over his face and chair tray. He would need a change of clothes that's for sure. She had forgotten to put his bib on. Joe had usually taken care of feeding the boys, being the better cook and the stay at home parent that he was. Ellie usually got home just as dinner was being served if she made it home at all and as such Fred would already have his bib on. Ellie used to consider herself a good mother. She was the breadwinner, her boys well mannered and cared for but now that she was raising them on her own she realized exactly how little of the child rearing she had done in compares to Joe. She was starting to feel inadequate. She hefted Fred out of his chair and put him on her hip having his back to her so as to keep her own clothes free of food.
"I'm just going to change Fred's clothes." She told Alec as walked past the front room to the stairs.
Ellie placed Fred in his crib as she went to his little dresser and fished out a new outfit for him to wear. Changing him had always been a challenge but she had discovered that lot's of funny faces and some tickling went a long way. With Fred changed and his dirty clothes in the bathroom sink to be rinsed out before going in the laundry Ellie returned downstairs to find Alec where she had left him, staring out the window. Ellie frowned.
"Something on your mind Sir?" Elli asked
Alec turned around and looked at her. "Stop calling me Sir. Alec or Hardy will do just fine. I'm not your boss anymore."
"Alright then. Anything on your mind Alec?"
"No. I should be going. It's almost time for school to be let off and you need to pick up Tom."
Alec moved past Ellie. He smiled a little at Fred in her arms. He walked to the mudroom and grabbed his coat from the hook he had hung it on. Pulling it on turning to Ellie who had followed him.
"I'll see you soon. If you need to talk you know where to find me and" Alec paused was really considering this? It was one thing to offer council to Ellie he had first hand experience with living through a scandal but to offer this? He looked at Fred though and thought of Tom. He could probably help both of them in a way that Ellie never could try though she might. And he knew from experience just how large the need to be alone could get. He had moved to Broadchurch in a desperate attempt to be alone and leave everything behind hadn't he? He knew how healing having time to just yourself and your thoughts could be and raising to young boys doesn't really allow for much of that. Alec took a deep breathe and continued. "If you need some time to just get away and be alone I can… I can watch the boys for you."
Ellie's smile was sad.
"Thank you." She said. "Are you sure you need to go know?"
"Yeah. As I said it's almost three and I have some things I need take of."
With that Alec turned and left the house. Ellie watched him walk to his car and drive off. Not once did he look back. Sighing Ellie turned back into the house and closed the door. Looking at her watch she saw that Alec had been right it was half past two.
"Do you think he was serious on that offer to babysit?" She asked Fred. "I can't picture him being very good with kids. He can barely handle adults most of the time but then he does have a daughter." She mused to herself.
