In the morning when I wake

and the sun is coming through

oh you fill my lungs with sweetness

and you fill my head with you.

It's strange that someone can become a piece of you. They can become a part of you without meaning to do so. It's strange that, when they become part of your life, you couldn't imagine an existence without that part of you. You don't think about soulmates, not until you realise what the word really means. To you, a soulmate is not a human who is so unbelievably like you that you have to be together. Your definition of soulmate is another person who has fitted into your life so perfectly that your souls connect. Through the pieces they have lost in battles, through the lost parts of their being that you have learned to fill. You understand that you can fall in love with someone just by learning small things about them. Like how she plays piano. Like how she builds up barriers, but lets only some of the closest people through. Like how she laughs. How she smiles. How she clenches her Jaw.

While you watch her sleep, you wonder why it took so long to find her. You wonder if you really were searching for her all of those years you felt so alone. You wonder if she thinks these things when she wakes up before you in the morning. You wonder how many times she has watched you sleep.

You've been sitting here for over an hour, smiling at her hair fanned over the pillow, smiling at how even her breathing is, how calm her mind is. You watch the sun beam through a small separation in the curtains and hit her skin. You smile at the way her lips have formed a small grin. You wonder if she is dreaming about you. Maybe she's dreaming about the Red Sox.

People have come into your life and left before you could learn about them. You have never connected with a human being the way you connect with her. You feel like she is part of your anatomy. Like when she moves, you move too. Like when she laughs, it's you who is laughing. You become so familiar with her voice, with the way she does things, that you feel as though it is something you have watched your entire life.

You are both completely different people. You are opposites on nearly every level. But yet, you are both so completely the same. You wonder if that is something everyone who loves someone the way you love Jane feels.

You have learned of the ways that you can express the way you feel about her. Both physical and emotional. You have learned how to show her how much she means to you.

Still, you wonder if she really knows how much she has changed you. How much of you she has become. You wonder if she knows that sometimes you are hit with such a huge overwhelming feeling of love that you feel as though your heart might explode, like you might fall to your knees and scream and fall apart. You wonder if she knows how much you need her there.

You've thought about telling her. You've thought about writing it down, and you've tried, but the words you have written don't cover the emotions. There aren't enough words in the dictionary, that you've learned back to front, to cover the way you feel when she opens her eyes and looks at you every morning. You've tried to explain it, you've tried everything. You just hope that she knows.

like you know.

You know how she feels about you just by the way her eyes light up for you and no one else.

The way she lets you in when she is completely lost.

The way she guides you to the light every time you fall into the dark.

You wonder if she knows, because you know.