The team always relies on the Medic to keep them healthy. But what happens when he falls ill? That's when they call in someone with even more experience: His wife.
It was a rainy day in the usually sunny Teufort when RED Medic got sick. The day's battles had been finished for a while and everything was settling down for the evening. It began as a cough after dinner and just escalated from then. By nine o'clock, the RED Medic was bedridden.
"What the hell are we gonna' go without him tomorrow?" Scout exclaimed in disbelief and frustration.
"We wait it out. Forfeit tomorrow...we can't do anything without ze Medic around to 'eal us." Spy responded authoritatively.
The others couldn't think of any other solution to the problem.
"Or...we call 'is sheila. I bet that'd perk him up a little." Sniper chimed in from the other room.
"Da fuck is a sheila?"Scout interjected before Spy could say anything.
"'Is wife, you imbecile."Spy sighed, exasperated by Scout's stupidity.
"Fuckin' sicko's got a wife? How the hell did that happen? She musta' been dru-"Engineer smacked Scout on the head before he could finish.
"Now that he's outta' the way...I think that's a darn tootin' solution to our dilemma."The Texan said, throwing his two bits in.
Soldier, Demo, Pyro, and Heavy seemed to have been ignoring the discussion, simply nodding in agreement and everyone went off to bed.
The next morning, Sniper and Spy were rummaging through files on the team, trying to find Medic's files. Spy triumphantly held a thick folder in the air, having found the ones. Sniper let out a cry of jubilation and the two found the number they were looking for. Being ignorant of time-zones, Spy dialed the phone number and waited for an answer.
A voice was staticy on the receiver, "Hallo, Frau von Traube. Und Sie sind?"
Spy understood little German, and was rather confused, "Err...Jean Gruye...I believe I 'ave ze right person."
The woman on the other end sighed, "Vat did Fritz do vrong zis time?"
Spy seemed flabbergasted, "Nothing, madmosielle, 'e is only in need of some...attention we cannot provide."
She laughed, "Vat, is he acting sexually depraved?"
Spy flushed red, "Aha...non, 'e is sick..."
The woman gasped,"Zis is a joke is it not? Fritz is never..."
Spy sighed, "I wish it was, madmosielle."
That evening, a petite blonde woman was waiting outside the door of the RED base, dressed in a knee-length white dress. She knocked expectantly on the door, with no answer. Again she knocked, with the same result. Finally, she sighed, giving up and kicking in the door. "Oops. Did I break zat?" She says sarcastically.
Heavy, who had been going to answer the door, stood awestruck about five feet in front of her, "Leetel girl is strong!"
"You don't say? Now vere ze hell is mein leibling?" She responded angrily.
Heavy, being stupid, did not understand her. By now though, the rest of the team excluding Medic had come to check out the situation. Engie grinned, "Ah, you must be Mrs. Medic!"
She shot him an icy glare, "Zat is not my name, but...ja...I guess I am. Now vere is my husband?"
Spy stepped forward trying to be a gentleman, "Zis way, madmosielle."
He led her to Medic's quarters and left her there. She scoffed and turned the doorknob, opening the door to a gun pointed at her. She squeaked and almost closed the door. "Oh...it's only you..." Medic said quietly.
She heard the rasp to his voice and rushed in the room to embrace him. Medic coughed slightly, "E-Eva...Vat are you doing here...it's too dangerous..."
