The sun shone down on Inej as the wind made its best attempt at pulling strands of hair from its customary braid. Three years away from Ketterdam hadn't been enough to break her of that habit, and she still braided and coiled it every morning.

Her stomach flipped as she spotted land from atop of the mast. That was the beautiful thing about her ship, there were so many places to climb. While she missed the feel of a rooftop beneath her feet, the ropes and lines reminded her of her childhood. She spent most nights up in the rigging, using her natural talent for defying gravity to get some semblance of privacy. Specht had helped her pick a good crew, and many of those initial members were still here. Admittedly, she had lost a few along the way, and had picked up new members, but her core group was still with her. Inej had come to consider them her family, and valued the time the spent together. But she was a creature of habit, and preferred to sleep alone, with the sound of the sea lulling her to sleep. Gulls weren't the same as crows, but they made a passable replacement.

This is for them, she had told herself. Her crew had served her well over the years, and while most of them had no particular attachments, she often heard them reminiscing of their days in Ketterdam. Inej had made it very clear that they hadn't been avoiding the tiny island nation. It was just always out of the way of their course, always too far or too unnecessary to reach. She felt a particular sort of vindication any time they took on a ship flying the Kerch colors, but that was the only thing she permitted herself to feel. Anything else was too dangerous.

She hadn't necessarily made a conscious decision to return, but lately she had been plagued with dreams- the feel of leather, the rustle of feathers, and the soft brush of lips against her collarbone. If the dreams started now, after all this time, Inej wasn't going to ignore them. She had expected this at the beginning of her journey, but they hadn't come. Until now. Each day they sailed closer, and each day her dreams became more insistent. She had even taken to tying herself into the rigging after waking in shock one night and almost falling to the deck. That dream had featured a pair of coffee brown eyes, shifting in color and appearance until they resembled the glassy black eyes of a shark.

Looking back out over the horizon, she saw the land growing closer. What would she find when they made berth? The dock in Fifth Harbor was hers, so she knew they would have a place to land. But then what? She had picked up some news of Ketterdam over her travels, and the name Dirtyhands had never been far behind. Inej could be reasonably sure that he was still alive then. Or, at least he was alive four months ago, when they had last been in port and she could collect some information. A lot could happen in four months. A lot could happen in four hours, she reminded herself grimly.

And even if he was alive, would he want to see her? She thought of that day years ago, the last time she had seen him.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," she spoke up from the window of his office where she had crept in. They hadn't been corresponding directly since he gave her her ship, but she had felt this was important enough to warrant a visit.

He froze, and then turned around slowly. "Good. That ship is too deadly to sit in the harbor."

Their eyes met, and for a moment, Inej thought she saw hurt flash across his features. But it was gone before she could be sure that she had even seen it. Maybe she had just imagined it. She sucked in a deep breath. "I need to do this." But was she trying to convince him, or herself?

"I know," was the only response she got. She nodded and turned to slide out of the window. "Inej, wait."

She paused, biting her lip. When she turned, he was impossibly close.

Tentatively, he reached out his hand, without his glove. Inej stilled as he brushed her face with his bare hand. Her dark eyes met his and she thought she might drown in them. They stayed like that for a time, Kaz impossibly tense and Inej impossibly still. Finally, Kaz squeezed his eyes closed and removed his hand, breaking all contact at once.

"No mourners," he whispered as he took a step back.

Disappointment crashed through Inej like the waves she was about to set sail on. "No funerals," she murmured as she left.

He hadn't come to see her at the dock, and she sailed away, wondering if that was the last she would see of the Bastard of the Barrel. Inej had been right. Kaz didn't say goodbye, he just let go.

The cries of one of her crewmates brought her back to the present. They had spotted land as well, and her time for daydreaming was over. She had chosen this path and it was too late to change course now. She swung her way down a line and landed softly on the deck.

"All good?" A voice asked from behind her. Her first mate Rast, a Kerch native, stood behind her, his brows creased with worry. Inej hadn't shared much of her past with anyone, but Rast had been smart enough to put the major pieces together. It was no secret that Inej had been the Wraith, even if you ignored the name of her flagship. None of her crew had upstanding backgrounds, and many were former slaves like her, but they all had good hearts. Rast had taken to Inej like the daughter he never had, and she welcomed his warm affections. It helped fill the void that formed when she dropped her parents back off in Ravka. That goodbye had been just as difficult as her goodbyes in Ketterdam, but she could rest easy with the knowledge that she was leaving by her own choice and under her own will this time.

"All good," Inej nodded, giving the man a small smile. He grinned and clapped a hand on her shoulder.

"The Wraith won't be the same without you, but we'll get by I'm sure," he told her.

Inej looked at him, confused. "What?"

Rast just smiled knowingly. "The call of the sea is strong, but the siren call of home is stronger." Then he strode off, barking out orders to the deckhands.

Inej frowned. Was she planning to stay in Ketterdam? Her business in the True Sea wasn't yet finished, and she wasn't sure if it would ever be. Her hand rested lightly on the knife strapped to her waist, yet another habit from her days with the Dregs. The salty air meant she had to clean her knives twice as often, but they never left her person. She didn't feel quite whole without them. And what had Rast meant about home? Sure, she had considered the Slat her home for a time, but after their defeat of Van Eck, she wasn't sure she belonged there anymore. Inej had felt like an outcast, not welcome in the world that Kaz was creating. Or maybe she had been welcome, but Inej had known she didn't have what it would take to stay.

Instead, she had run. Run from her parents, run from the friends she still had left, run from her sins and the souls of the people she had killed. Inej had run away, only to find herself running back now. She just didn't know what she was running back to.

As the buildings of Ketterdam began to take shape, Inej lost herself in giving orders to her crew. Whatever was going to happen would come to pass, no matter how much time she spent dwelling on it.


AN: Hey guys, I'm back! I probably won't be updating this fic as often as my last and I don't have a super clear idea of how this is going to play out yet, but the ending of Crooked Kingdom was so wonderfully open that I had to take advantage of it. Let me know what you think? The title was taken from Jarryd James' Do You Remember and I 10/10 recommend listening to it because Kazej.