So I decided to challenge myself to do a series of Miraculous Ladybug one-shots based off of songs: One for each day in September. I am 13 days behind because I decided to do this just yesterday at like...11 PM so if anyone has song recommendations that they want to see me turn into chapters (song genre/type doesn't matter) PLEASE PM me or leave the Title and Artist of the requested song in a review! Thanks! :)
Song: Aftertaste
Artist: Shawn Mendes
–
His words echoed in her mind every single time she tried to close her eyes to forget the events of what had happened. It had been two weeks. Just two weeks ago that he had finally confessed to her and she'd refused to believe it because she'd been scared... scared to tell him her own true self and now….now she couldn't confess her greatest secret to him even though she wanted to….because that wouldn't fix things.
"I'm sorry…" her voice broke and she choked on her tears as she forced another breath through her lungs. "Please forgive me." but he wasn't here, he couldn't hear her. She squeezed her eyes shut and the memories rose up from the darkness to haunt her.
–
"I'm Adrien."
She froze at his words. Surely she had heard wrong. "W-What?" She asked, turning back to face him, staring into glowing green cat eyes that looked back at her with determination and yet were still so uncertain.
"I'm Adrien Agreste."
She'd just stared at him the words caught in her throat as she panicked. She wanted to run but she stood frozen in place as he stepped closer to her.
"Please... please tell me who you are... I need to know." He reached out to touch her face, tracing the edge of her red mask.
She almost cried as she shut her eyes trying to control the sense of panic and confusion and worst of all... dread...that had sent her heart into a frantic rhythm.
She closed her eyes, savoring his touch even as the rational part of her wanted to push him away and run.
"Who are you?" He asked- no... begged... oh god he was begging her. His voice was barely a whisper, she swallowed.
"No one important."
The words were bitter even to her own ears, but it was the truth she wasn't anyone important- not like him- not like he was important to her- she was just a nobody without the mask she was a nobody.
"You can't fool me, you're important... to me."
No. No. Ladybug was important to him. Not Marinette. He loved Ladybug. He rarely noticed her as Marinette.
If she told him she was Marinette then... he'd be so disappointed!
So she kept her silence and battled with the tremors that threatened to shake her entire body as he placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head upward but she refused to open her eyes and face the truth that he'd just thrown at her.
Kept her eyes closed even as he kissed her. "I'm sorry, I just had to tell you. You don't have to tell me until you're ready. I understand."
Did he? Did he really? She doubted it. And…'i'm sorry' what was he sorry for? For being the most important person in her life?
He pulled away from her and she felt the space widening between them like a canyon forming after an earthquake.
She opened her eyes to make sure that he was really gone before she finally let herself cry...
–
.. She buried her face into her pillow remembering the time just three months ago that he'd been in her room to play video games- she'd given him that bracelet- a lucky charm... had he actually kept it?
It didn't matter, a silly little bracelet couldn't have changed what had happened.
It hurt. It wasn't fair. It should have been her. The memory of her scream reverberated inside her skull- trying to make her head explode from the inside out.
–
"NO!" She tried to push him out of the path of the incoming bullet, even as she watched him crumple to the sidewalk gasping for breath as the blood turned his black leather suit even darker…
–
It was her fault and she couldn't help thinking that if she had told him who she was then none of what had happened would have happened but she'd thrown away her chance and she wouldn't get another one because….because he was….
Gone.
And no matter how many times she confessed who she was to the empty air where he used to stand. No matter how many times she said. "I'm Ladybug. I'm Ladybug." In the tone of a broken-hearted mantra it wasn't going to bring him back.
She tried to comfort herself by telling herself that it would have hurt more if she had told him but she wasn't sure if that was true or not because that wasn't part of her reality.
The reality she lived in was one where she hadn't told him who she was because she was scared.
And that truth held a pain worse then getting shot with a million bullets….she didn't care how selfish it was for her to wish she could erase him from her brain. Forget about him, forget the cause of her grief.
Forget his laugh.
His voice.
His kind words.
His stupid puns.
His utter faith and trust in her that had ultimately failed him in the end.
That was the worst part of all this.
She had failed him.
Saved Paris but had failed to save her partner, her confidant, her not-so secret crush...her friend.
No one could replace that. Replace him. Even if Master Fu managed to find another person to be the holder of the Cat Miraculous.
Even if there was a new Chat Noir.
It wouldn't be the same.
They wouldn't be her Chat Noir they wouldn't be her Adrien.
She wished she had been brave enough to tell him who she was because now….now she was just left with horrible memories and the aftertaste of when he'd kissed her goodbye.
