Author's Note: This is a product of a late night, pretending to do homework, with no company but a bowl of Tin Roof Sundae and good ol' Barry Manilow. Sing this along with "Copacabana". Ten points to me for using the word "smarmy". I suppose this is movieverse, 'cause I mention Elijah's eyes, but other than that, it's really rather ambiguous.
His name was Frodo
He was a hobbit
With biggish feet covered in hair
And a hypnotizing stare
He lived at Bag End
With Cousin Bilbo
When Gandalf sought him 'neath the hill
Samwise gardened 'neath the sill
They learned of Men long slain
And of Isildur's Bane
They foresaw neither the carnage
Nor all of their pain
In Mordor
The depths of Mordor
The darkest place south of Dol Guldûr
Oh, in Mordor
The depths of Mordor
The evil and smarmy
Flocked there by the army
In Mordor
They took the Ring
His name was Smeagol
He wore a loincloth
He led the hobbits to the Stair
And right into Shelob's Lair
But Sam and Frodo
Escaped the spider
And when they reached the Crack of Doom
Gollum leapt out of the gloom
And then the punches flew
And rocks were smashed in two
There was blood and a single finger
But just who bit who?
In Mordor
The depths of Mordor
The darkest place south of Dol Guldûr
Oh, in Mordor
The depths of Mordor
The evil and smarmy
Flocked there by the army
In Mordor
They lost the Ring
His name is Frodo
He lived in Bag End
But that was many years before
He and Sam went off to war
Now there are children
But they're not Frodo's
Sam and Rosie moved on in
Now Bag End's full of their kin
He left his life behind
For Elven shores that shined
He lost his Precious, he lost his finger
And he lost his mind
In Mordor
The depths of Mordor
The darkest place south of Dol Guldûr
Oh, in Mordor
The depths of Mordor
The evil and smarmy
Flocked there by the army
In Mordor
Don't take the Ring
