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Okay, it's a Squall and Rinoa tale of terror!
For the record, Squall, Rinoa and all their crazy friends are not my personal possessions, and if you don't know who they really belong to then you probably shouldn't be reading this anyway.
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**Imitation Leather**
At first their steps were hesitant, and they bumped into more furniture than was necessary, but as their pulses quickened with each deepening gaze into the passion-soaked eyes of the other, they began to move slowly, in tune with the music pounding inside their heads. The going was easier then. In time, drunk with love and a fire-lit room, they stopped dancing and began to sway.
Her arms feverishly clutching at his lower back, her chin buried somewhere in his chest, Rinoa thought she had never been happier in her entire life. Just breathing in the smell of him was almost more than she could take; her pulse rate ran ragged, the room spun and she would have fallen if he wasn't gripping her just as tightly.
Squall? Squall was perfectly content. Strange feelings stirred wherever Rinoa touched him. He was starting to doubt everything he'd ever been told about shy, klutzy boys always coming last in the game of love. He was also going through the mechanics of the sexual experience in his mind - subtly of course - just in case. It was hard without knowing what she would look like naked…
Rinoa pulled away from him suddenly. He tried to follow her. "Beautiful, what…"
"It's okay," she assured him quickly, smiling. "It's okay… it's okay…" She might have said it three times, or a hundred. Squall felt himself actually grinning, his arms held open wide for her, overcome by the sense that his heart was about to burst from his chest and break into joyous song, that every fibre of his body was stretched and clogged with love and longing. It was okay.
She held back just a little while, studying him compassionately. He'd changed so much since she first met him. It was hard to picture in this Squall the underconfident but serious young man she'd danced with under the moon. This Squall smiled, teased her about her clothes or the way she wore her hair. He sometimes overcame her with his eagerness to give or receive affection. It was as though all those needs had lain under the surface of his skin for many years, waiting for that 'special someone' to unlock his rightful heritage.
Of course, Squall always behaved the perfect gentleman when around her. He'd been clever in first inviting her to his quarters in the company of various friends, and intuitive enough to allow her to make the all-important first moves on him while on his home territory. Even now he held back, either understanding or fearing that she could be hurt as quickly as she was pleased. He waited for her to move towards what he must want. Was there a man who didn't want that?
Rinoa smiled too. He was more than deserving. She slipped a hand to the zipper on the back of her dress as subtly as possible. Better he didn't know right away. More fun if he was surprised.
"Squall? Beloved?"
First I… then, I… and, if I've been really good at that point, then she will probably… "Rinoa?"
She'd forgotten how difficult it was to unzip a dress quietly - in fact, she'd never had a need to do that before. She wished she had the courage to ask for Squall's help, but that kind of courage only came after you slept with the person. To startle him into agreeing, she needed to get out of her dress… "You know I love you more than anything in the world, right?"
Squall stared at her suspiciously. She held her hands behind her back like someone preparing a particularly nice gift.
Rinoa wasn't put off at all by his non-answer. "And would I be right in concluding that you love me, too?"
"More than anything!" he responded with a loud gasp. To think she would need to ask that! He broke their eye-to-eye stance by rushing to throw more wood on the fire, and Rinoa used the opportunity to unzip her dress properly and pull its clammy length from her front. She hadn't realised it before, but she was sweating just thinking about it all. Or it might be the fire.
"Rinoa, I love everything about you," Squall spoke staring into the fire. "Especially…" He turned, and his mouth dropped open to see Rinoa, clad in silky underpants and a bra that took the bare essentials to whole new levels. "Especially…" Words conveniently failed him. "Shit, Rin."
She chuckled softly, half to herself, and moved slowly towards Squall. More than aware of the effect her uncovered body had on him, she exaggerated her swaying gait.
"Man, man, man, Rinoa." Man, these trousers ain't big enough for this man no more, man. Still, he felt his suspicious nature coming back to haunt him, even in those final moments of realisation. "You sure this isn't some trick?"
Almost settled back in her beloved's arms, Rinoa paused a moment to appreciate the feel of his leather against her skin, the feel of becoming turned on. And how will you be when he actually takes his clothes off, then?
"No. No trick, Squall. What you see is pretty much what you get - with added bonuses along the way, of course."
"Oh. Of course."
She slid her arms around his unresisting neck; rubbing her hands in his furry collar, she eased the jacket over his shoulders. "The only trick, sweetheart," she murmured in his ear, very low, "is that you have to take your clothes off too. It just doesn't work the other way."
This only seemed to worry him more. "M - maybe we should turn the lights off now," Squall suggested, pulling her towards the bedroom lamp - and, as it so happened, the bed. "It's late, and…"
Rinoa pretended to pout. "Oh, Squall. You're not embarrassed about the idea of being naked around me?"
"No, but…"
"No buts," Rinoa decided. She pulled his jacket off before he could think of a response to that, one limp arm at a time. There she paused another moment to inhale more of his manly sweetness. The next morning she would wear his beautiful jacket, but right now she had other things to do.
She was about to toss it on the floor along with her dress, but common sense made her reconsider. She would fold Squall's jacket up. She could resist touching the collar again as she did so, and she paused to read the tag on the collar.
"Funny, baby," she giggled. "I always thought you'd be the kind of man who cut the tags off your clothes. You know, that's almost the first thing I thought of you. Squall Leonhart looks like the kind of guy who removes the tags from all his clothes."
"Yeah, whatever," Squall muttered. His face was flushed; whether from the heat of the fire or his own personal energy source originating from Rinoa's semi-nakedness, it was not apparent.
"Anyhow, that's not important. What's this say?" Eager to be on with the truly important details of the evening, Rinoa ran uninterested eyes over the tag, which bore on its silky surface only two words, printed small and in bold ink.
IMITATION LEATHER
**
"Rinoa," Squall tried. He was sitting on the bed, as close as he dared to a shaking Rinoa who tried to force her dress back on every way but the right one. When the silent tension between them grew too great he held out his gloved hands to help her. She jerked away as though she'd been burned.
"Rinoa," Squall snapped, angry himself. "It's just a jacket."
Her eyes flashed. "Just a jacket!" The sound of those words against her ears awakened her to just how foolishly she was behaving, and she hung her head. "I know, Squall. I know, it's just a jacket. I know I'm being silly. But…"
"You thought I would actually waste my money on a genuine leather jacket?"
"Of course!" A cross spasm racked her body; she tossed the dress aside and sat still, hands clasped, staring at the floor. "I mean… well, I did, but… It's no big deal, I guess."
"Why do you keep saying it is no big deal when it obviously is?"
"I don't know!" Rinoa snarled at Squall, snapping her head about so fiercely he stood and backed off a few steps. She saw the expression in her eyes and clapped both hands to her mouth. "Oh, I can't believe I just did that. I know, I'm being a bitch and I should be more mature about this."
"Well, I won't argue with that."
"I suppose the collar isn't real fur, either?" Rinoa asked plaintively.
"News flash! Proud dog owner Rinoa Heartilly can't tell the difference between a real and a synthetic canine!"
"Squall!" Rinoa shrieked, standing up to deliver her words right in his face. "Don't you dare joke about this!" She began to glow slightly in the fading light of a fire neither of them had bothered to feed.
Squall put his hands on both her (still bare) shoulders. "Easy, Rinoa, you're starting to turn pink."
At first she glared at him as though he might be joking with her again (since when was pale-skinned Rinoa pink?), but a quick glance into the (dust-coated) mirror proved it to be true. She giggled a little and fell back onto the bed.
"Really… this is too much for one night." She stood, moved to the window and peered outside, then headed to refuel the fire. Squall stood with his hands stiffly by his sides, sidestepping Rinoa as she moved all about his room muttering to herself. He wasn't sure whether he should say something to try and patch things up, or wait for her to move. He stole a longing glance towards his imitation leather jacket, now discarded in a corner.
He could hear some of what Rinoa was saying. "So… no real leather, and no real fur, either."
"It seemed a little extravagant, considering the prices of real leather these days," Squall volunteered. "Besides, real leather tends to make me itch in all the wrong places." Rinoa shot him a disgusted look and tossed her head, silken dark hair obscuring her beautiful face for an instant.
"Rinoa, is something as petty as this going to spoil our night?"
"Um…" Rinoa ran her hands through her hair. Squall noticed dark spots under her eyes that hadn't been there earlier. "Um, yes, Squall, it is. Look, I don't think I want to handle this right now. Not so late at night, and not the way I'm feeling. We both might say things we regret."
"But Rinoa, it's only a jacket!"
"It might be only a jacket to you, and you might very well be right about it, but I have my feelings and expectations too!" Rinoa followed this heavy statement with a tearful sniff, straightening her dress and attempting to pull it on again.
"Here, Rinny, I'll help you with that."
"You will not," she retorted, and did it very capably herself.
"Squall, I'm going back to my room now," she told him, grabbing her own jacket, lying neatly folded on a chair. "I've put up with a lot lately - this is hardly the worst of it, mind you, but I've put up with a lot, and this is about the last thing I can handle."
"It's only a jacket!"
"It might be only a jacket to you…"
"Look, you selfish little bitch," Squall exploded. "You say you've 'put up with a lot' lately. I assume you mean a lot from me. Well, there's two ways that can go. You don't think I know about this, but I just happened to be in the next room mentoring some kid when you were there flirting with Zell Dincht…"
"I thought we locked the door!" Rinoa exclaimed, then realised with shock that was exactly the sort of comment she didn't want to make.
"Walls are extremely thin around here, Rinoa," Squall reminded her humorously. "I heard every word - how you'd had your eye on him for quite some time but couldn't act because of me, how you wanted to spend just one night with him if it were at all possible… and, finally, how you were so magnanimous as to pass over the opportunity presented, because you didn't want to betray me!"
"Squall," Rinoa pleaded against hope, "it wasn't like that…"
"Wasn't like that! How was it, then? Didn't I express it poetically enough? It was so much more, is that it?"
"Squall, how could you!" Rinoa wailed.
"How could I?"
Rinoa felt her own temper flare up, hot and angry. She stamped her foot. "All right, you listen here then. Do you realise that's the longest conversation we've had in weeks? How do you think I feel, being with someone who doesn't open his mouth until there's a real crisis? Someone who insists on doing everything by himself, his own way, all the time? Don't you think I sometimes feel as though I'd like to be with someone who talks to me properly?"
"We were talking tonight! We were having a great time until you…"
"Only because you thought you might get me in bed if you were nice. And it was working, wasn't it!" Close to tears, Rinoa spat out a final stinging retort. "Now, of course, I know that's all you wanted. A cheap tumble in the hay."
"Rinoa, you're going to regret you ever said that."
"In what way?" Rinoa sniffed.
"If you're going to act this way over a jacket, maybe I don't want to see you for a while," Squall warned. Hell, if she acts that way over a jacket, I'm lucky I didn't let her take off the trousers…
"And maybe I don't want to go out with you after tonight anyway!" Rinoa countered, the pride rising in her throat. "Maybe you can just stop being my boyfriend."
Enraged more than he had ever been in his life (I had to come out of my shell to this!), Squall bellowed the first thing that came to mind. "You can't fire me, Rinoa Heartilly, because I quit being your boyfriend! You couldn't pay me to go out with someone who carries on the way you do!"
Rinoa's response was to flee from the room, her hands pressed into her face. He heard her squeak with surprise as she collided with someone heading the other way, and he rushed to her aid. Only force of habit, force of habit…
"Honestly, Squall, I could hear you two nearly across the other side of town," Quistis complained, hands on her hips. "Are you quite finished now?"
"Yeah, we're finished all right. All because of my stupid imitation leather jacket."
"You mean you don't wear real leather?" Quistis exclaimed.
"Is there nobody around here who doesn't care that I don't wear real leather?" Squall demanded.
"Well, to tell you the truth, most of us kind of see you as a real leather man," Quistis admitted. "We don't tell Rinoa that, of course, in case she takes it the wrong way. But I guess that doesn't matter quite as much any more."
"Yeah, you're right." Squall stared after the retreated form of Rinoa gloomily, then proceeded to relate the events of the evening to Quistis, leaving out certain details about the situation he felt particularly sensitive about. You see, Quistis, Rinoa and I were about to screw, when she got kinda turned on by my clothing and decided to read the labels. She got more than she bargained for at that point, and quite promptly became premenstrual in nature.
She watched him thoughtfully from a distance during the entire sorry tale, sometimes shaking her head and making little noises of sympathy. She didn't speak or interrupt him to ask questions about parts she obviously didn't understand, allowing him to blunder through the sorry tale as he desired.
"And, well, that's the end of that, I guess," he finished lamely. "Would you like to, um, come in? Everything's in a bit of a mess…" Rinoa had to wipe all that dust off my mirror and onto the floor, didn't she? The least she could have done was kept the place clean if she was going to break up with me over a jacket… "…but I don't mind."
Quistis was silent for a minute. Then she deliberately drew back a hand and slapped him across the face.
"The lengths men will go to just to hide their guilt! Squall Leonhart, I thought you were the one man in the world who was incorruptible, above that sort of thing!"
"What thing?" Squall demanded, rubbing his cheek.
"I thought she looked a bit ruffled. I think she was about to cry. What did you do, try to rip her clothes off or something? And now you're trying to pretend that she got in a little huff over your jacket not being real leather? Grow up Squall, Rinoa's just not like that! There's no way she would dump you over a silly little thing like a jacket!"
Compounded with me dropping my little bombshell about her and Zell, and her completely freaking out over the way I'm just coming out socially, she might just dump me over an imitation leather jacket. "It's way more complicated than you think, Quistis."
"Complicated!" Quistis sniffed at him in disgust. "Look, asshole, I'd love to stay and chat, but I think I'll go comfort Rinoa."
"You don't even like Rinoa that much!"
"So?" Quistis turned about face and stalked off down the corridor, leaving a slack-jawed Squall to gape after her. When Quistis became concerned over Rinoa, he knew he'd seriously screwed things up.
**
"Rinoa, I'm sure you'll get another boyfriend really soon," Selphie assured her, squeezing her friend a little tighter around the shoulders. This just made Rinoa cry all the harder.
"That's the thing, though. I don't want to get another boyfriend. I just want Squall." Tears streamed down her cheeks in emotional rivers. Not knowing what else to do, Selphie kindly handed her two boxes of tissues. "I really do love him, Selphie, I've never stopped."
"I hear ya."
"If only I hadn't started talking about how little he communicated, he might not have even brought up what he heard about Zell and I! If he was calm about everything, we might have been able to work through that! It's not fair!" she wailed. "Tonight was supposed to be perfect, and it had to be spoiled by my stupidity!"
Selphie grinned knowingly. "Come on, old pal, you can't fool me that way."
Rinoa looked up for a minute, surprised that Selphie's tone had turned so flippant. I've always suspected that some of the others were jealous of what Squall and I had together. But Selphie? It just doesn't seem her style. "What do you mean?"
"This wasn't about what you and Zell almost did or what Squall never does, was it?" Selphie smiled like someone who had just figured out the answer to a million dollar question. "You finally found out that he wears fake leather, didn't you?"
"Selphie, how come you knew it, and I didn't?" Rinoa was so shocked she actually stopped crying.
Sensing that she might actually be doing something right, Selphie went on to explain. "Oh, Irvy and I had the same problem a while back. Only it wasn't fake leather clothing, well, not the sort of clothing you wear on a day-to-day basis…" Realising she was probably saying a little more than she needed to, Selphie coloured and hurried on. "Anyway, after those days I made sure I knew leather. And that is not leather Squall wears."
"Oh."
Rinoa was quiet for a few seconds as the information sank in, then she began crying even louder. "Everyone has a boyfriend except me! I'm going to be the only person left in the world who is still a virgin at age twenty!"
"Okay," Selphie sighed to her reflection in the mirror, "maybe that wasn't a good way to resolve things."
**
News of Squall and Rinoa's split travelled fast. It wasn't long before both halves of the formerly happy couple were inundated with visitors, some offering condolences, others congratulations. Some of them believed Squall's (true) version of events, others Rinoa's. The ones who believed Squall (of which there were, thankfully, very few) usually came with advice for the hapless Romeo, and well-meaning suggestions of how he could win his beloved back.
Squall received all his personal calls politely. Secretly, he cursed Rinoa and, with her, all things female. Why hadn't the silly bitch been able to keep her personal problems private? Why couldn't Quistis shut up when he'd taken her into his confidence during a moment of temporary insanity? Selphie abused him publicly every time their paths crossed during the day, and now girls he didn't even know the names of stared, nudging their friends and whispering.
Normally Squall didn't care what other people thought or said about him, but on this occasion he wasn't sure just how much more torture he could take.
He had to get Rinoa back.
It was a task easier said than done. Rinoa was cut badly over the events leading up to their break up, and refused to even look at him. She (or Selphie, who appeared to spend most of her free time with Rinoa now) hung up the phone every time he called. He wasn't even sure if Rinoa would talk to him, should he find some way to obtain an audience. He lacked the courage to approach her in her quarters without a good plan.
Seifer was the one who eventually came to the rescue - ironically, with a plan straight from the mouth of Zell, who was very much to blame for the whole thing.
"Squall, my friend, you are really up a river of shit, aren't you?" he remarked, surveying the sparse room he had been invited into with the air of a visiting king.
"Yeah," Squall agreed, then scowled.
"Nev'r mind my boy, that's what I'm here for, and have I got a surprise for you! You'll never guess what Zell said in passing just the other day!"
"Ha, ha, Squall sucks, Rinoa's going to be mine?" Squall guessed. Seifer paled.
"Among other things… yeah. But the really interesting part - and you know how little Chickenwuss says that is interesting - is that he actually thought up the makings of a brilliant plan that could result in you getting your Rinny back for good!"
Squall moved quickly, grabbing Seifer by the collar and shaking him. "Tell me it's so," he pleaded. "Look, this might sound crazy, but since Rinoa left I haven't been able to eat or sleep. Everyone loves that girl, Seifer, and now they all hate me! The trouble is, I love her too!"
"Easy, easy." Seifer disentangled himself from Squall's frenzied grip. "Like I say, it's no problem, okay? All you have to do is listen to what I heard and draw your own conclusions as to what you should do."
"I'm listening."
"I'm going to ask you a simple question. If Rinoa likes dead skin so much, how do you think she's going to react to live skin?"
Seifer sat back, grinning, and watched the huge sweatdrop form on one side of Squall's face. Obviously, he'd been expecting something a little more valiant.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Squallie boy?" Seifer prompted, when there was no response from Squall after ten seconds.
"Shit," Squall responded faintly.
**
In the end, he simply had to make up his mind which was more important: Rinoa or his intact dignity. He was about to let go of his former sweetheart in his mind when Seifer sealed the deal by saying with a grin, "I knew you'd never go through with it. Zell knows it, too, and he said as much. You just don't have the balls, mate."
Which was how Squall ended up stumbling over to Rinoa's room at midnight in only his underwear, praying he wouldn't encounter anyone else on a midnight errand to prove to Seifer - and Rinoa, in fact - that he actually did have the balls.
He took a deep breath when he reached her door. All right, this is the moment of truth. If this doesn't get her back for me, nothing ever will. So you've got to play this cool. There's no way I can back out now - not with Seifer threatening to call me the modern Chickenwuss for the rest of my life. Squall took an even deeper breath, then knocked.
He heard shuffling inside. Apparently, Rinoa wasn't asleep after all. "Come in," a sweet voice called. It was exactly the reception he'd been hoping for, and Squall obeyed immediately, slipping through the door and slamming it so quickly Rinoa wouldn't have time to realise it was him, much less throw him out.
His carefully prepared speech went right out the window at the crucial moment. "Um, Rinoa, it's me," he spoke into the darkness. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to see, but you can't make me leave now because I won't take no for an answer this time. You see, Rinoa, breaking up with you was the worst mistake of my life. I've realised it these past days, and now I've decided that no silly argument is worth losing you."
She hadn't said anything, but the sound of her breathing assured him she was still alive. He went on.
"I know you're probably still upset over the leather thing and, well, maybe you're right about it. But I love you Rinoa, and I think there's a way around it. I mean, what is leather really but dead skin? And I can prove that I have far better live skin - and it's on me."
At that strategic moment, Squall flicked the light switch on and dropped his pants.
And then realised there were not one, but about fifteen eyes staring back at him - most of them female SeeD, all of them possessing very good vision. He amused himself briefly watching Selphie's eyes bug out before he remembered what they were bugging out over, by which time Rinoa had hurried over to stand in front of him.
"Squall, you idiot," she hissed. "Why couldn't you be a nice, normal guy for once and just apologise? What on earth possessed you to do something like this?"
"It was Zell's idea," was the only thing Squall could think of.
Rinoa digested this fact. "Oh. That explains the stupidity."
"And I only did it because I love you," he added. And because I don't like Zell's nickname any more than Zell himself does. And because I don't like the idea of Zell getting his grubby hands on my girl one little bit. And because I'm still getting horny thinking about the way you looked that night, and if I don't get laid really soon I'll probably pick one of those other girls at random…
"Thinking, Squall?" Rinoa asked with a winning smile.
Squall answered her with another question. "Why did you have to pick this night of all nights to have a sleepover?"
"I think they're kind of glad I did now." Rinoa glanced back at her friends, who were talking excitedly in a little huddle and gesturing with their hands. It looked as though they were measuring something.
"Anyway." Rinoa returned her attention to Squall, and her expression became deadly serious. "You know what?"
"What?"
"I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I realise now that this is all my fault. What I said to Zell started things, and all the stupid stuff I said about your… imitation leather… well, I blew things way out of proportion and I'm sorry." Rinoa bowed her head. "You don't have to apologise at all. I'm glad to get back together with you, if you still want me."
And I just chucked my clothes off in front of a bunch of strangers for this? I wouldn't be surprised if Zell knew what was going to happen all along… "Of course I want you back," Squall declared. "Do you think I would go through all this humiliation in one day and not get some kind of compensation for it?"
The two stared at one another. He was oblivious to the fact that he was completely naked, while she didn't care about the other girls in her room. The thought of being back together after a truly horrible experience warmed them and brought with it memories of the good things that had happened during their fiery night of romance in Squall's bedroom.
"I was so silly," Rinoa whispered. "Here I was, complaining about that silly fake skin, when the best skin was real all along."
Quistis let out a huge wolf whistle. Rinoa turned around (careful to shield Squall's best bits at all times), and pointed wordlessly towards the door.
"Enough fun for tonight, girls. Squall and I have some catching up to do."
"Bet you do," Selphie giggled, a knowing look printed all over her face.
Fujin's one eye was still as wide as it had been when Squall first dropped his… erm, bombshell. "shit!" she squeaked in a very un-Fujin-like voice.
"Out!" Rinoa stressed, and they left not a moment too soon for Squall, who was revising the sexual experience in his mind - just in case he and Rinoa could get through the rest of the night without an argument and he finally got lucky.
A good SeeD is a prepared SeeD.
**
**Epilogue: The Unnecessary Stuff That Happened After**
Squall had some good times and some bad times on his endless quest to become a normal, functioning human being, but he was never again hated as much as he had been during those few weeks when he and Rinoa were on bad terms over his leather jacket. Whenever he met a female in Garden, their gaze invariably dropped to his crotch within a remarkably short amount of time. He wasn't sure what stories Selphie and her friends had told, but he wasn't complaining - Rinoa had so much competition she was too scared to dump him ever again. She knew his reputation preceded him.
Rinoa, on top of ending up with the best boyfriend and the coolest hair, soon got over her disappointment about Squall's fake leather clothing in the bigger scheme of things. She comforted herself on that point slightly by buying Squall enough real leather underpants to last him the rest of his life.
Seifer soon learned that dropping your pants during a girls' slumber party was actually good for your public image. He tried it once, and then subsequently learned that it was only good if you were as phenomenally well-endowed as Squall Leonhart.
Zell gave up on Rinoa - after all, he'd only been flirting with her to gain Squall as a personal enemy rather than Seifer. Squall rarely had the time or energy to make up cutting, constant insults the way Seifer did.
Selphie stayed happy and knowledgeable about leather, even when Rinoa's sleepovers ceased to be for her.
Irvine did not appear in this story except as Selphie's personal sex toy, but evidence suggests that he (and his leather 'not-clothes') stayed happy, too.
Quistis stayed away from Squall permanently, to avoid any temptation she might have to grab.
Fujin came close to losing her one remaining eye as a result of extreme shock. It was three weeks before her voice recovered its natural volume.
Okay, it's a Squall and Rinoa tale of terror!
For the record, Squall, Rinoa and all their crazy friends are not my personal possessions, and if you don't know who they really belong to then you probably shouldn't be reading this anyway.
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**Imitation Leather**
At first their steps were hesitant, and they bumped into more furniture than was necessary, but as their pulses quickened with each deepening gaze into the passion-soaked eyes of the other, they began to move slowly, in tune with the music pounding inside their heads. The going was easier then. In time, drunk with love and a fire-lit room, they stopped dancing and began to sway.
Her arms feverishly clutching at his lower back, her chin buried somewhere in his chest, Rinoa thought she had never been happier in her entire life. Just breathing in the smell of him was almost more than she could take; her pulse rate ran ragged, the room spun and she would have fallen if he wasn't gripping her just as tightly.
Squall? Squall was perfectly content. Strange feelings stirred wherever Rinoa touched him. He was starting to doubt everything he'd ever been told about shy, klutzy boys always coming last in the game of love. He was also going through the mechanics of the sexual experience in his mind - subtly of course - just in case. It was hard without knowing what she would look like naked…
Rinoa pulled away from him suddenly. He tried to follow her. "Beautiful, what…"
"It's okay," she assured him quickly, smiling. "It's okay… it's okay…" She might have said it three times, or a hundred. Squall felt himself actually grinning, his arms held open wide for her, overcome by the sense that his heart was about to burst from his chest and break into joyous song, that every fibre of his body was stretched and clogged with love and longing. It was okay.
She held back just a little while, studying him compassionately. He'd changed so much since she first met him. It was hard to picture in this Squall the underconfident but serious young man she'd danced with under the moon. This Squall smiled, teased her about her clothes or the way she wore her hair. He sometimes overcame her with his eagerness to give or receive affection. It was as though all those needs had lain under the surface of his skin for many years, waiting for that 'special someone' to unlock his rightful heritage.
Of course, Squall always behaved the perfect gentleman when around her. He'd been clever in first inviting her to his quarters in the company of various friends, and intuitive enough to allow her to make the all-important first moves on him while on his home territory. Even now he held back, either understanding or fearing that she could be hurt as quickly as she was pleased. He waited for her to move towards what he must want. Was there a man who didn't want that?
Rinoa smiled too. He was more than deserving. She slipped a hand to the zipper on the back of her dress as subtly as possible. Better he didn't know right away. More fun if he was surprised.
"Squall? Beloved?"
First I… then, I… and, if I've been really good at that point, then she will probably… "Rinoa?"
She'd forgotten how difficult it was to unzip a dress quietly - in fact, she'd never had a need to do that before. She wished she had the courage to ask for Squall's help, but that kind of courage only came after you slept with the person. To startle him into agreeing, she needed to get out of her dress… "You know I love you more than anything in the world, right?"
Squall stared at her suspiciously. She held her hands behind her back like someone preparing a particularly nice gift.
Rinoa wasn't put off at all by his non-answer. "And would I be right in concluding that you love me, too?"
"More than anything!" he responded with a loud gasp. To think she would need to ask that! He broke their eye-to-eye stance by rushing to throw more wood on the fire, and Rinoa used the opportunity to unzip her dress properly and pull its clammy length from her front. She hadn't realised it before, but she was sweating just thinking about it all. Or it might be the fire.
"Rinoa, I love everything about you," Squall spoke staring into the fire. "Especially…" He turned, and his mouth dropped open to see Rinoa, clad in silky underpants and a bra that took the bare essentials to whole new levels. "Especially…" Words conveniently failed him. "Shit, Rin."
She chuckled softly, half to herself, and moved slowly towards Squall. More than aware of the effect her uncovered body had on him, she exaggerated her swaying gait.
"Man, man, man, Rinoa." Man, these trousers ain't big enough for this man no more, man. Still, he felt his suspicious nature coming back to haunt him, even in those final moments of realisation. "You sure this isn't some trick?"
Almost settled back in her beloved's arms, Rinoa paused a moment to appreciate the feel of his leather against her skin, the feel of becoming turned on. And how will you be when he actually takes his clothes off, then?
"No. No trick, Squall. What you see is pretty much what you get - with added bonuses along the way, of course."
"Oh. Of course."
She slid her arms around his unresisting neck; rubbing her hands in his furry collar, she eased the jacket over his shoulders. "The only trick, sweetheart," she murmured in his ear, very low, "is that you have to take your clothes off too. It just doesn't work the other way."
This only seemed to worry him more. "M - maybe we should turn the lights off now," Squall suggested, pulling her towards the bedroom lamp - and, as it so happened, the bed. "It's late, and…"
Rinoa pretended to pout. "Oh, Squall. You're not embarrassed about the idea of being naked around me?"
"No, but…"
"No buts," Rinoa decided. She pulled his jacket off before he could think of a response to that, one limp arm at a time. There she paused another moment to inhale more of his manly sweetness. The next morning she would wear his beautiful jacket, but right now she had other things to do.
She was about to toss it on the floor along with her dress, but common sense made her reconsider. She would fold Squall's jacket up. She could resist touching the collar again as she did so, and she paused to read the tag on the collar.
"Funny, baby," she giggled. "I always thought you'd be the kind of man who cut the tags off your clothes. You know, that's almost the first thing I thought of you. Squall Leonhart looks like the kind of guy who removes the tags from all his clothes."
"Yeah, whatever," Squall muttered. His face was flushed; whether from the heat of the fire or his own personal energy source originating from Rinoa's semi-nakedness, it was not apparent.
"Anyhow, that's not important. What's this say?" Eager to be on with the truly important details of the evening, Rinoa ran uninterested eyes over the tag, which bore on its silky surface only two words, printed small and in bold ink.
IMITATION LEATHER
**
"Rinoa," Squall tried. He was sitting on the bed, as close as he dared to a shaking Rinoa who tried to force her dress back on every way but the right one. When the silent tension between them grew too great he held out his gloved hands to help her. She jerked away as though she'd been burned.
"Rinoa," Squall snapped, angry himself. "It's just a jacket."
Her eyes flashed. "Just a jacket!" The sound of those words against her ears awakened her to just how foolishly she was behaving, and she hung her head. "I know, Squall. I know, it's just a jacket. I know I'm being silly. But…"
"You thought I would actually waste my money on a genuine leather jacket?"
"Of course!" A cross spasm racked her body; she tossed the dress aside and sat still, hands clasped, staring at the floor. "I mean… well, I did, but… It's no big deal, I guess."
"Why do you keep saying it is no big deal when it obviously is?"
"I don't know!" Rinoa snarled at Squall, snapping her head about so fiercely he stood and backed off a few steps. She saw the expression in her eyes and clapped both hands to her mouth. "Oh, I can't believe I just did that. I know, I'm being a bitch and I should be more mature about this."
"Well, I won't argue with that."
"I suppose the collar isn't real fur, either?" Rinoa asked plaintively.
"News flash! Proud dog owner Rinoa Heartilly can't tell the difference between a real and a synthetic canine!"
"Squall!" Rinoa shrieked, standing up to deliver her words right in his face. "Don't you dare joke about this!" She began to glow slightly in the fading light of a fire neither of them had bothered to feed.
Squall put his hands on both her (still bare) shoulders. "Easy, Rinoa, you're starting to turn pink."
At first she glared at him as though he might be joking with her again (since when was pale-skinned Rinoa pink?), but a quick glance into the (dust-coated) mirror proved it to be true. She giggled a little and fell back onto the bed.
"Really… this is too much for one night." She stood, moved to the window and peered outside, then headed to refuel the fire. Squall stood with his hands stiffly by his sides, sidestepping Rinoa as she moved all about his room muttering to herself. He wasn't sure whether he should say something to try and patch things up, or wait for her to move. He stole a longing glance towards his imitation leather jacket, now discarded in a corner.
He could hear some of what Rinoa was saying. "So… no real leather, and no real fur, either."
"It seemed a little extravagant, considering the prices of real leather these days," Squall volunteered. "Besides, real leather tends to make me itch in all the wrong places." Rinoa shot him a disgusted look and tossed her head, silken dark hair obscuring her beautiful face for an instant.
"Rinoa, is something as petty as this going to spoil our night?"
"Um…" Rinoa ran her hands through her hair. Squall noticed dark spots under her eyes that hadn't been there earlier. "Um, yes, Squall, it is. Look, I don't think I want to handle this right now. Not so late at night, and not the way I'm feeling. We both might say things we regret."
"But Rinoa, it's only a jacket!"
"It might be only a jacket to you, and you might very well be right about it, but I have my feelings and expectations too!" Rinoa followed this heavy statement with a tearful sniff, straightening her dress and attempting to pull it on again.
"Here, Rinny, I'll help you with that."
"You will not," she retorted, and did it very capably herself.
"Squall, I'm going back to my room now," she told him, grabbing her own jacket, lying neatly folded on a chair. "I've put up with a lot lately - this is hardly the worst of it, mind you, but I've put up with a lot, and this is about the last thing I can handle."
"It's only a jacket!"
"It might be only a jacket to you…"
"Look, you selfish little bitch," Squall exploded. "You say you've 'put up with a lot' lately. I assume you mean a lot from me. Well, there's two ways that can go. You don't think I know about this, but I just happened to be in the next room mentoring some kid when you were there flirting with Zell Dincht…"
"I thought we locked the door!" Rinoa exclaimed, then realised with shock that was exactly the sort of comment she didn't want to make.
"Walls are extremely thin around here, Rinoa," Squall reminded her humorously. "I heard every word - how you'd had your eye on him for quite some time but couldn't act because of me, how you wanted to spend just one night with him if it were at all possible… and, finally, how you were so magnanimous as to pass over the opportunity presented, because you didn't want to betray me!"
"Squall," Rinoa pleaded against hope, "it wasn't like that…"
"Wasn't like that! How was it, then? Didn't I express it poetically enough? It was so much more, is that it?"
"Squall, how could you!" Rinoa wailed.
"How could I?"
Rinoa felt her own temper flare up, hot and angry. She stamped her foot. "All right, you listen here then. Do you realise that's the longest conversation we've had in weeks? How do you think I feel, being with someone who doesn't open his mouth until there's a real crisis? Someone who insists on doing everything by himself, his own way, all the time? Don't you think I sometimes feel as though I'd like to be with someone who talks to me properly?"
"We were talking tonight! We were having a great time until you…"
"Only because you thought you might get me in bed if you were nice. And it was working, wasn't it!" Close to tears, Rinoa spat out a final stinging retort. "Now, of course, I know that's all you wanted. A cheap tumble in the hay."
"Rinoa, you're going to regret you ever said that."
"In what way?" Rinoa sniffed.
"If you're going to act this way over a jacket, maybe I don't want to see you for a while," Squall warned. Hell, if she acts that way over a jacket, I'm lucky I didn't let her take off the trousers…
"And maybe I don't want to go out with you after tonight anyway!" Rinoa countered, the pride rising in her throat. "Maybe you can just stop being my boyfriend."
Enraged more than he had ever been in his life (I had to come out of my shell to this!), Squall bellowed the first thing that came to mind. "You can't fire me, Rinoa Heartilly, because I quit being your boyfriend! You couldn't pay me to go out with someone who carries on the way you do!"
Rinoa's response was to flee from the room, her hands pressed into her face. He heard her squeak with surprise as she collided with someone heading the other way, and he rushed to her aid. Only force of habit, force of habit…
"Honestly, Squall, I could hear you two nearly across the other side of town," Quistis complained, hands on her hips. "Are you quite finished now?"
"Yeah, we're finished all right. All because of my stupid imitation leather jacket."
"You mean you don't wear real leather?" Quistis exclaimed.
"Is there nobody around here who doesn't care that I don't wear real leather?" Squall demanded.
"Well, to tell you the truth, most of us kind of see you as a real leather man," Quistis admitted. "We don't tell Rinoa that, of course, in case she takes it the wrong way. But I guess that doesn't matter quite as much any more."
"Yeah, you're right." Squall stared after the retreated form of Rinoa gloomily, then proceeded to relate the events of the evening to Quistis, leaving out certain details about the situation he felt particularly sensitive about. You see, Quistis, Rinoa and I were about to screw, when she got kinda turned on by my clothing and decided to read the labels. She got more than she bargained for at that point, and quite promptly became premenstrual in nature.
She watched him thoughtfully from a distance during the entire sorry tale, sometimes shaking her head and making little noises of sympathy. She didn't speak or interrupt him to ask questions about parts she obviously didn't understand, allowing him to blunder through the sorry tale as he desired.
"And, well, that's the end of that, I guess," he finished lamely. "Would you like to, um, come in? Everything's in a bit of a mess…" Rinoa had to wipe all that dust off my mirror and onto the floor, didn't she? The least she could have done was kept the place clean if she was going to break up with me over a jacket… "…but I don't mind."
Quistis was silent for a minute. Then she deliberately drew back a hand and slapped him across the face.
"The lengths men will go to just to hide their guilt! Squall Leonhart, I thought you were the one man in the world who was incorruptible, above that sort of thing!"
"What thing?" Squall demanded, rubbing his cheek.
"I thought she looked a bit ruffled. I think she was about to cry. What did you do, try to rip her clothes off or something? And now you're trying to pretend that she got in a little huff over your jacket not being real leather? Grow up Squall, Rinoa's just not like that! There's no way she would dump you over a silly little thing like a jacket!"
Compounded with me dropping my little bombshell about her and Zell, and her completely freaking out over the way I'm just coming out socially, she might just dump me over an imitation leather jacket. "It's way more complicated than you think, Quistis."
"Complicated!" Quistis sniffed at him in disgust. "Look, asshole, I'd love to stay and chat, but I think I'll go comfort Rinoa."
"You don't even like Rinoa that much!"
"So?" Quistis turned about face and stalked off down the corridor, leaving a slack-jawed Squall to gape after her. When Quistis became concerned over Rinoa, he knew he'd seriously screwed things up.
**
"Rinoa, I'm sure you'll get another boyfriend really soon," Selphie assured her, squeezing her friend a little tighter around the shoulders. This just made Rinoa cry all the harder.
"That's the thing, though. I don't want to get another boyfriend. I just want Squall." Tears streamed down her cheeks in emotional rivers. Not knowing what else to do, Selphie kindly handed her two boxes of tissues. "I really do love him, Selphie, I've never stopped."
"I hear ya."
"If only I hadn't started talking about how little he communicated, he might not have even brought up what he heard about Zell and I! If he was calm about everything, we might have been able to work through that! It's not fair!" she wailed. "Tonight was supposed to be perfect, and it had to be spoiled by my stupidity!"
Selphie grinned knowingly. "Come on, old pal, you can't fool me that way."
Rinoa looked up for a minute, surprised that Selphie's tone had turned so flippant. I've always suspected that some of the others were jealous of what Squall and I had together. But Selphie? It just doesn't seem her style. "What do you mean?"
"This wasn't about what you and Zell almost did or what Squall never does, was it?" Selphie smiled like someone who had just figured out the answer to a million dollar question. "You finally found out that he wears fake leather, didn't you?"
"Selphie, how come you knew it, and I didn't?" Rinoa was so shocked she actually stopped crying.
Sensing that she might actually be doing something right, Selphie went on to explain. "Oh, Irvy and I had the same problem a while back. Only it wasn't fake leather clothing, well, not the sort of clothing you wear on a day-to-day basis…" Realising she was probably saying a little more than she needed to, Selphie coloured and hurried on. "Anyway, after those days I made sure I knew leather. And that is not leather Squall wears."
"Oh."
Rinoa was quiet for a few seconds as the information sank in, then she began crying even louder. "Everyone has a boyfriend except me! I'm going to be the only person left in the world who is still a virgin at age twenty!"
"Okay," Selphie sighed to her reflection in the mirror, "maybe that wasn't a good way to resolve things."
**
News of Squall and Rinoa's split travelled fast. It wasn't long before both halves of the formerly happy couple were inundated with visitors, some offering condolences, others congratulations. Some of them believed Squall's (true) version of events, others Rinoa's. The ones who believed Squall (of which there were, thankfully, very few) usually came with advice for the hapless Romeo, and well-meaning suggestions of how he could win his beloved back.
Squall received all his personal calls politely. Secretly, he cursed Rinoa and, with her, all things female. Why hadn't the silly bitch been able to keep her personal problems private? Why couldn't Quistis shut up when he'd taken her into his confidence during a moment of temporary insanity? Selphie abused him publicly every time their paths crossed during the day, and now girls he didn't even know the names of stared, nudging their friends and whispering.
Normally Squall didn't care what other people thought or said about him, but on this occasion he wasn't sure just how much more torture he could take.
He had to get Rinoa back.
It was a task easier said than done. Rinoa was cut badly over the events leading up to their break up, and refused to even look at him. She (or Selphie, who appeared to spend most of her free time with Rinoa now) hung up the phone every time he called. He wasn't even sure if Rinoa would talk to him, should he find some way to obtain an audience. He lacked the courage to approach her in her quarters without a good plan.
Seifer was the one who eventually came to the rescue - ironically, with a plan straight from the mouth of Zell, who was very much to blame for the whole thing.
"Squall, my friend, you are really up a river of shit, aren't you?" he remarked, surveying the sparse room he had been invited into with the air of a visiting king.
"Yeah," Squall agreed, then scowled.
"Nev'r mind my boy, that's what I'm here for, and have I got a surprise for you! You'll never guess what Zell said in passing just the other day!"
"Ha, ha, Squall sucks, Rinoa's going to be mine?" Squall guessed. Seifer paled.
"Among other things… yeah. But the really interesting part - and you know how little Chickenwuss says that is interesting - is that he actually thought up the makings of a brilliant plan that could result in you getting your Rinny back for good!"
Squall moved quickly, grabbing Seifer by the collar and shaking him. "Tell me it's so," he pleaded. "Look, this might sound crazy, but since Rinoa left I haven't been able to eat or sleep. Everyone loves that girl, Seifer, and now they all hate me! The trouble is, I love her too!"
"Easy, easy." Seifer disentangled himself from Squall's frenzied grip. "Like I say, it's no problem, okay? All you have to do is listen to what I heard and draw your own conclusions as to what you should do."
"I'm listening."
"I'm going to ask you a simple question. If Rinoa likes dead skin so much, how do you think she's going to react to live skin?"
Seifer sat back, grinning, and watched the huge sweatdrop form on one side of Squall's face. Obviously, he'd been expecting something a little more valiant.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Squallie boy?" Seifer prompted, when there was no response from Squall after ten seconds.
"Shit," Squall responded faintly.
**
In the end, he simply had to make up his mind which was more important: Rinoa or his intact dignity. He was about to let go of his former sweetheart in his mind when Seifer sealed the deal by saying with a grin, "I knew you'd never go through with it. Zell knows it, too, and he said as much. You just don't have the balls, mate."
Which was how Squall ended up stumbling over to Rinoa's room at midnight in only his underwear, praying he wouldn't encounter anyone else on a midnight errand to prove to Seifer - and Rinoa, in fact - that he actually did have the balls.
He took a deep breath when he reached her door. All right, this is the moment of truth. If this doesn't get her back for me, nothing ever will. So you've got to play this cool. There's no way I can back out now - not with Seifer threatening to call me the modern Chickenwuss for the rest of my life. Squall took an even deeper breath, then knocked.
He heard shuffling inside. Apparently, Rinoa wasn't asleep after all. "Come in," a sweet voice called. It was exactly the reception he'd been hoping for, and Squall obeyed immediately, slipping through the door and slamming it so quickly Rinoa wouldn't have time to realise it was him, much less throw him out.
His carefully prepared speech went right out the window at the crucial moment. "Um, Rinoa, it's me," he spoke into the darkness. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to see, but you can't make me leave now because I won't take no for an answer this time. You see, Rinoa, breaking up with you was the worst mistake of my life. I've realised it these past days, and now I've decided that no silly argument is worth losing you."
She hadn't said anything, but the sound of her breathing assured him she was still alive. He went on.
"I know you're probably still upset over the leather thing and, well, maybe you're right about it. But I love you Rinoa, and I think there's a way around it. I mean, what is leather really but dead skin? And I can prove that I have far better live skin - and it's on me."
At that strategic moment, Squall flicked the light switch on and dropped his pants.
And then realised there were not one, but about fifteen eyes staring back at him - most of them female SeeD, all of them possessing very good vision. He amused himself briefly watching Selphie's eyes bug out before he remembered what they were bugging out over, by which time Rinoa had hurried over to stand in front of him.
"Squall, you idiot," she hissed. "Why couldn't you be a nice, normal guy for once and just apologise? What on earth possessed you to do something like this?"
"It was Zell's idea," was the only thing Squall could think of.
Rinoa digested this fact. "Oh. That explains the stupidity."
"And I only did it because I love you," he added. And because I don't like Zell's nickname any more than Zell himself does. And because I don't like the idea of Zell getting his grubby hands on my girl one little bit. And because I'm still getting horny thinking about the way you looked that night, and if I don't get laid really soon I'll probably pick one of those other girls at random…
"Thinking, Squall?" Rinoa asked with a winning smile.
Squall answered her with another question. "Why did you have to pick this night of all nights to have a sleepover?"
"I think they're kind of glad I did now." Rinoa glanced back at her friends, who were talking excitedly in a little huddle and gesturing with their hands. It looked as though they were measuring something.
"Anyway." Rinoa returned her attention to Squall, and her expression became deadly serious. "You know what?"
"What?"
"I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I realise now that this is all my fault. What I said to Zell started things, and all the stupid stuff I said about your… imitation leather… well, I blew things way out of proportion and I'm sorry." Rinoa bowed her head. "You don't have to apologise at all. I'm glad to get back together with you, if you still want me."
And I just chucked my clothes off in front of a bunch of strangers for this? I wouldn't be surprised if Zell knew what was going to happen all along… "Of course I want you back," Squall declared. "Do you think I would go through all this humiliation in one day and not get some kind of compensation for it?"
The two stared at one another. He was oblivious to the fact that he was completely naked, while she didn't care about the other girls in her room. The thought of being back together after a truly horrible experience warmed them and brought with it memories of the good things that had happened during their fiery night of romance in Squall's bedroom.
"I was so silly," Rinoa whispered. "Here I was, complaining about that silly fake skin, when the best skin was real all along."
Quistis let out a huge wolf whistle. Rinoa turned around (careful to shield Squall's best bits at all times), and pointed wordlessly towards the door.
"Enough fun for tonight, girls. Squall and I have some catching up to do."
"Bet you do," Selphie giggled, a knowing look printed all over her face.
Fujin's one eye was still as wide as it had been when Squall first dropped his… erm, bombshell. "shit!" she squeaked in a very un-Fujin-like voice.
"Out!" Rinoa stressed, and they left not a moment too soon for Squall, who was revising the sexual experience in his mind - just in case he and Rinoa could get through the rest of the night without an argument and he finally got lucky.
A good SeeD is a prepared SeeD.
**
**Epilogue: The Unnecessary Stuff That Happened After**
Squall had some good times and some bad times on his endless quest to become a normal, functioning human being, but he was never again hated as much as he had been during those few weeks when he and Rinoa were on bad terms over his leather jacket. Whenever he met a female in Garden, their gaze invariably dropped to his crotch within a remarkably short amount of time. He wasn't sure what stories Selphie and her friends had told, but he wasn't complaining - Rinoa had so much competition she was too scared to dump him ever again. She knew his reputation preceded him.
Rinoa, on top of ending up with the best boyfriend and the coolest hair, soon got over her disappointment about Squall's fake leather clothing in the bigger scheme of things. She comforted herself on that point slightly by buying Squall enough real leather underpants to last him the rest of his life.
Seifer soon learned that dropping your pants during a girls' slumber party was actually good for your public image. He tried it once, and then subsequently learned that it was only good if you were as phenomenally well-endowed as Squall Leonhart.
Zell gave up on Rinoa - after all, he'd only been flirting with her to gain Squall as a personal enemy rather than Seifer. Squall rarely had the time or energy to make up cutting, constant insults the way Seifer did.
Selphie stayed happy and knowledgeable about leather, even when Rinoa's sleepovers ceased to be for her.
Irvine did not appear in this story except as Selphie's personal sex toy, but evidence suggests that he (and his leather 'not-clothes') stayed happy, too.
Quistis stayed away from Squall permanently, to avoid any temptation she might have to grab.
Fujin came close to losing her one remaining eye as a result of extreme shock. It was three weeks before her voice recovered its natural volume.
