Authors note: Hey guys. I know I've been gone for a while. I'm sure at least a few of you are irritated that I'm writing a new story when I have about 5 WIPs. This is for a competition. I promise I will continue my other stories, so just relax and bear with me. Also, WARNING! This one will probably be pretty high on the angst meter. It is set in sixth year, by the way.
I'm going to die. My vision is already starting to cloud. My body is trembling lightly. I'm not sure if it's from the cold air sweeping towards me across the lake or the loss of blood. It doesn't really matter anymore, though, does it? It would be too late for anyone to help me now anyway, even if they wanted to. My gaze drifts over to my arm. It's usually a pale white but now it has been stained scarlet, my blood nearly obscuring the inky black mark completely from sight. As I breathe in the crisp night air, my thoughts drift to what led me here…
000
Pansy was throwing one of her tantrums again. I had my own problems to deal with; I didn't need to deal with her too. I decided to leave and go for a walk, claiming I needed to clear my head. This wasn't entirely false. My head had been practically pulsing from stress and worry about what the Dark Lord had ordered me to do. I was trying my best, but I knew his patience was wearing thin with me. As I thought, I wandered up toward the entrance hall, thinking I'd go out to the lake. And who should I happen to cross paths with?
"Why so tense, Potter?" He was alone, which seemed to be happening more and more lately. "Agitated because your two best friends are together and you're the third wheel?" His green eyes hardened. Apparently I had struck a soft spot. Naturally, I kept picking, a smirk spreading on to my lips. "Or is it because you're head over heels for Weasle's sister? If you want my advice, you're better off not pursuing it. You'll only get hurt. After all, even her standards can't be THAT low."
It was no worse than anything I'd ever said to him before, but for some reason it set him off tonight. Before I knew it I was on my back, my breath stolen from my body for a moment. "You don't know a damn thing, Malfoy!" I had never heard his tone so harsh before. To be honest, I was frightened. I worried I had gone too far. His wand was now pointed at me and my heart was hammering so loudly I was sure he heard it. "You know, it wouldn't make any difference if a sod like you were to disappear. Sure, people would notice, but no one would care. In fact, people would probably celebrate if something 'unfortunate' were to happen to you." I wasn't frightened anymore. I was terrified. I was fairly certain he wouldn't actually kill me, but the threat was so strong in his voice that I couldn't help but be nervous.
He must have picked up on that because he smirked down at me. "I wouldn't risk going to Azkaban for a prick like you. Besides, you're not worth the spell." He stowed his wand and I got to my feet, moving away from him. "Why don't you just scurry back to your hole, ferret? I'm sure your 'lovely' girlfriend will be waiting for you." He turned and stormed up the stairs toward Gryffindor tower. I couldn't think straight, I was pretty shaken up. His words were ringing in my ears: "No one would care…" Surely that wasn't true. Pansy and Blaise would care. Then I did as I often do: I started over-thinking it, lingering on Harry's words. I was steadily feeling worse and worse as I did so, realizing it was probably true. Again, I told myself Pansy and Blaise would be upset were I to vanish. After all, Blaise was my best friend and Pansy was my girlfriend, as much as it annoyed me sometimes.
As I drew closer to the common room I noted how much quieter it was. Pansy must have calmed down. Good. I felt like I needed some form of comfort, even if she was going to coo at me in her irritating baby-talk voice, I didn't care. I went to open the door and saw that it was already open a crack. My gaze was pulled to the opening when I noticed movement. Time seemed to freeze and my eyes widened: there I saw them, their lips locked, Blaise sitting on the sofa and Pansy in his lap. "Potter was right…" was my only thought. Even they wouldn't miss me if I were to disappear. The two people I had considered closest to me and always thought I could count on had just shattered their own images in my mind.
I turned and ran from the door, my head swimming. I had never fancied Pansy all that much, but at least I had had the decency to stay faithful. And some friend Blaise had turned out to be… I couldn't help but wondered how many times this had happened or how long it had been going on. I could feel hot tears stinging at my eys. They weren't tears of sadness but of confusion, frustration and anger. Everything was being taken from me: My family, my 'friends', my self-respect and even my very sanity. I knew I was thinking clearly as I ran back up the stairs and out to the lake, conjuring a silver blade…
000
And this is where I sit now. In retrospect, I have acted rashly, but even now as my vision starts fading to black, I can't bring myself to regret it. I can't help but look to the silver knife in my hand, now dripping rubies of red from its tip onto the dying autumn grass. "No one will care?" I say out loud to no one at all. "Let's test that theory, shall we?" I lean back against the oak tree on the bank, my body feeling weak. I'm going to die…
Excellent…
Note: Let me know what you thought.
