They were on an undercover op.
They had to pretend they were in a relationship.
Basically, this "pretending to have feelings for each other" was going to be both the easiest thing they had to do, and the hardest thing they had to deny to each other in the end.
It was obvious, to not only them, but to everyone around them. Therefore they know it, they just won't admit it. And the fact that they would sometime have to face reality and break this friendship cover the had going was inevitable.
The way he made her feel was almost indescribable. She felt safe when he was by her side, protected, loved.
The way he kissed her when they were undercover, she knew it wasn't just for the mission. It was so much more than that.
And even though this assignment was extremely dangerous, she didn't want it to end anytime soon… because through this cover, she could live out her own fantasy. Twisted, yes, but true. There were no strings attached, no decisions between him and Luke that had to be made, no one had to get hurt in the end... It may sound horrible, but it was what it was. And it was all fine, this denial… this dismissal, until now.
The op went awry. Sam's life was in serious danger. He had a gun to his head, as he was shoved away into a secluded hallway a few feet away. His cover might be blown, and he could be killed any second.
Now, all she could think about was what she never said, what she never did, what they missed out on.
How stupid and naïve she'd been, thinking that, eventually, things would work out with Luke.
They wouldn't, no matter how much time was permitted. He was just the safe choice. A victim of her way of coping, of protecting herself from getting hurt, of the subconscious sealing off of her vulnerable side.
She knew she shouldn't be this emotional on the job, when his life was in jeopardy. Sure, if it were Luke, she'd be scared to death as well, but there was something more here, something she couldn't describe.
There was a knot in the pit of her stomach, threatening to overtake her as she drew in each weary, unsteady breath. She would be lost without Sam; he was the only person she could really turn to for help, the only person that she trusted with her life.
Here was her revelation. This time, it was real. They couldn't pretend anymore. She had to stop living life on the safe side; she had to take risks, even though she might get hurt in the end, because sooner or later, the risk will be worth taking. But how will you know, if you never take the chance, right? And her first step towards this new way of life was confessing her feelings towards Sam. She'd made up her mind. She would.
The only drawback, now?
A gunshot rang through the vicinity, emanating from the hallway a few feet away.
… Was she too late?
