Disclaimer: Hello! Always Hopeful and PixieGrace here. We don't own
anything concerning Will and Grace except for the new characters you don't
recognize.
A/N: We have tried to create a plot in which no one could be offended and
would make you laugh. Please review and tell us what you think.
Warm and sunny was the day on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. The females were out having a shopping spree.
"So Jack, what kind of shoes do you really want? I mean it's the least I can do after Stan fondled you in the kitchen last night." Karen pointed out to the Drama Queen Jack McFairyland.
"Yeah," agreed Jack. "I mean, it's bad enough with Will constantly chasing after me, but now there's a bloated fat man who will give me more nightmares than Cher on crack. Oh my Cher, did I just speak bad about you?" looking at his Cher doll. "I am so sorry. Bad Jack, very very bad," he added while smacking his hand and then kissing the doll on the head.
"Oh please," sighed Karen. "I hope you don't start singing about time and start kicking your legs up."
"Karen, you know that's only when I am in the privacy of you and me," laughed Jack.
"Mrs. Walker?" said a clerk from behind her.
"What the hell do you want, Mr. Yellow Tooth?" cried Karen. "You know the rules. Do not come within a foot of me unless you're serving, or are, a frosted glass of vodka."
"I'm sorry," said the clerk, "but there is a telegram for you."
"That's horrible," frowned Karen. "Who sends a telegram to a place like this?"
"Obviously someone," came a voice from two feet behind Jack and Karen. Karen turned.
"Oh Lord, what did I do to deserve you?" snapped Karen. "Honestly, Rosario, must you always put your one cent in?"
"Listen, Lady," growled Rosario, "No matter how much I put in, it would never be enough to drain the alcohol that you've collected."
"Hey, don't complain about something that she did five minutes ago," said Jack. "It's not good to dwell on the past."
"Look, Senora Boozehound! That message was sent from your niece Something or other. You better read it. And as for you, you pixie, don't spend too much time under these fluorescent lights. You might melt."
"You see, that is where you're wrong," said Jack. "If anyone is going to melt, it will be Karen here because she's got enough alcohol and botox to feed a starving third world country. So don't go making predictions you can't back up." He snapped his fingers, rolled his hips and said, "Mm hmm."
"Let me see that damned letter Mr. Clerk man," Karen snapped. She grabbed the letter from him, read it once, gasped and then read it once again. "Oh My God!!! Jack guess what!?! My niece Grace is moving to New York with her friend Malya. And they want to come visit! Isn't that just fan-flippin-tastic?"
"OH MY CHER!!!" Jack squeaked out. "Grace! I love Grace! Karen, who's Grace? Wait a second. Who do I know with the name Grace?" Jack said while sitting down to think.
"Who do we know with that name?" Karen conceded.
"Oh well. Grace is coming, Grace is coming!" Jack sang.
"Well, you know that's usually a private action and I didn't know I was all that excited," Grace Adler said walking into the Dept. Store.
"GRACE!?!?!" asked Jack, astounded. He looked from Grace to Karen and then back again to Grace. "Karen, I didn't know Grace was your boss AND your niece!!!"
"She's not, you fruit," said Karen. "I'm talking about my sister's daughter, Grace. Grace Douglas. Oh, Lord, where did she go wrong?" pointing to Jack.
"I didn't know you had a sister," said Grace. "Actually, I didn't think you had any relatives. At least not on this planet. I always assumed you just crawled out from underneath a rock that had been set near Bloomingdale's."
"Oh, honey," said Karen, looking at Grace's outfit. "I thought we talked about polka dots. Their never coming back, so get over it already."
"Aunt Karen!" said a girl from across the store. She ran up to her aunt and handed her a bottle of vodka. "I thought I saw a salesman outside crying. Here, this is for you for later." Everyone stopped and looked at the girl with the brown hair and red roots. It had obviously been dyed recently.
"Hey, kid," said Karen. "What happened, did your mother finally die from fashion incompetence?"
"Actually, she's in the nut house," said Grace.
"Well, she almost put me in the nut house with all her crazy ideas of what fashion was," said Karen. "What did she do, hypnotize herself with that lame dress of hers again?"
"Oh my gosh," said Jack. "Grace looks just like Grace. Wait, does anyone else find that odd? Or, disturbing in any way?"
"Oh honey," sighed Karen, "You're always disturbed."
"Hey, I thought you were coming with a friend," said Jack.
"Oh, she's coming," said Grace. "As a matter of fact, here she comes right now."
"Where?" asked Karen, looking around. Just then, her eyes locked with Malya's and she fainted.
Warm and sunny was the day on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. The females were out having a shopping spree.
"So Jack, what kind of shoes do you really want? I mean it's the least I can do after Stan fondled you in the kitchen last night." Karen pointed out to the Drama Queen Jack McFairyland.
"Yeah," agreed Jack. "I mean, it's bad enough with Will constantly chasing after me, but now there's a bloated fat man who will give me more nightmares than Cher on crack. Oh my Cher, did I just speak bad about you?" looking at his Cher doll. "I am so sorry. Bad Jack, very very bad," he added while smacking his hand and then kissing the doll on the head.
"Oh please," sighed Karen. "I hope you don't start singing about time and start kicking your legs up."
"Karen, you know that's only when I am in the privacy of you and me," laughed Jack.
"Mrs. Walker?" said a clerk from behind her.
"What the hell do you want, Mr. Yellow Tooth?" cried Karen. "You know the rules. Do not come within a foot of me unless you're serving, or are, a frosted glass of vodka."
"I'm sorry," said the clerk, "but there is a telegram for you."
"That's horrible," frowned Karen. "Who sends a telegram to a place like this?"
"Obviously someone," came a voice from two feet behind Jack and Karen. Karen turned.
"Oh Lord, what did I do to deserve you?" snapped Karen. "Honestly, Rosario, must you always put your one cent in?"
"Listen, Lady," growled Rosario, "No matter how much I put in, it would never be enough to drain the alcohol that you've collected."
"Hey, don't complain about something that she did five minutes ago," said Jack. "It's not good to dwell on the past."
"Look, Senora Boozehound! That message was sent from your niece Something or other. You better read it. And as for you, you pixie, don't spend too much time under these fluorescent lights. You might melt."
"You see, that is where you're wrong," said Jack. "If anyone is going to melt, it will be Karen here because she's got enough alcohol and botox to feed a starving third world country. So don't go making predictions you can't back up." He snapped his fingers, rolled his hips and said, "Mm hmm."
"Let me see that damned letter Mr. Clerk man," Karen snapped. She grabbed the letter from him, read it once, gasped and then read it once again. "Oh My God!!! Jack guess what!?! My niece Grace is moving to New York with her friend Malya. And they want to come visit! Isn't that just fan-flippin-tastic?"
"OH MY CHER!!!" Jack squeaked out. "Grace! I love Grace! Karen, who's Grace? Wait a second. Who do I know with the name Grace?" Jack said while sitting down to think.
"Who do we know with that name?" Karen conceded.
"Oh well. Grace is coming, Grace is coming!" Jack sang.
"Well, you know that's usually a private action and I didn't know I was all that excited," Grace Adler said walking into the Dept. Store.
"GRACE!?!?!" asked Jack, astounded. He looked from Grace to Karen and then back again to Grace. "Karen, I didn't know Grace was your boss AND your niece!!!"
"She's not, you fruit," said Karen. "I'm talking about my sister's daughter, Grace. Grace Douglas. Oh, Lord, where did she go wrong?" pointing to Jack.
"I didn't know you had a sister," said Grace. "Actually, I didn't think you had any relatives. At least not on this planet. I always assumed you just crawled out from underneath a rock that had been set near Bloomingdale's."
"Oh, honey," said Karen, looking at Grace's outfit. "I thought we talked about polka dots. Their never coming back, so get over it already."
"Aunt Karen!" said a girl from across the store. She ran up to her aunt and handed her a bottle of vodka. "I thought I saw a salesman outside crying. Here, this is for you for later." Everyone stopped and looked at the girl with the brown hair and red roots. It had obviously been dyed recently.
"Hey, kid," said Karen. "What happened, did your mother finally die from fashion incompetence?"
"Actually, she's in the nut house," said Grace.
"Well, she almost put me in the nut house with all her crazy ideas of what fashion was," said Karen. "What did she do, hypnotize herself with that lame dress of hers again?"
"Oh my gosh," said Jack. "Grace looks just like Grace. Wait, does anyone else find that odd? Or, disturbing in any way?"
"Oh honey," sighed Karen, "You're always disturbed."
"Hey, I thought you were coming with a friend," said Jack.
"Oh, she's coming," said Grace. "As a matter of fact, here she comes right now."
"Where?" asked Karen, looking around. Just then, her eyes locked with Malya's and she fainted.
