Welcome to the last part in the Blind Luck series!
The story is finished and will be uploaded as the chapters come out of the beta-ing process. Thus posting may be irregular.
Much thanks to my beta Reenan Lefey!
Hikaru no Go and it's characters belong to their makers, I'm just borrowing them for a while.
For those that wondered here by mistake, go read the other parts first or this makes no sense.
Part 1: 'The Way Out' ( storyid: 5886368)
Part 2: 'No way Back' (storyid: 6972045)
The story continues straight on from part 2.
And now: enjoy the ride!
Blind Luck
Part 3: 'The Ever Winding Road'
Chapter 1
Much had happened in the few months since a homeless amnesiac blind man had followed a vaguely familiar sound off the street and found himself transported into a newer, safer world, where he found acceptance and friendship and fulfillment. In that time not all of Sai's dreams had come true yet, but that was not so strange. Life continues on, and when earlier wishes are fulfilled, new ones take their place swiftly enough. Of course, Sai wasn't the sort of person to start wishing new wishes until he had thoroughly enjoyed the coming to fruition of the old ones. He had a roof over his head, a job that he could actually do, and he had friends, nice friends. All with their own quirks, to be sure, but that made them unique after all.
About six weeks after it had been put on his wrist at the hospital, the cast was deemed ready to come off. Sai had celebrated in private, first by spending a good 10 minutes in the bathroom scratching his re-exposed skin until it finally stopped itching, and then heaving a contented sigh as he cooled his now hot skin down under a cold running tap. Ogata had surprised him with a plate of curry hamburger for dinner, now that he would be able to eat with both hands again. Sai ate it with relish, after having had so many teaser tastes of the dish from the many servings of left over sauce on crackers; it was wonderful to be able to eat the real thing. As it turned out, the blind man decided he really liked the sauce better than the actual burger. So when he was offered the dish again later that week, he begged off, but requested Ogata order extra sauce with his own burger so Sai could have that with his rice and vegetables. Ogata's willingness to indulge his friend in this, no doubt, strange request, gave Sai a contented feeling.
When he had first come to stay at Ogata's, he had eaten everything the man had offered him, but after about a month of a steady diet of three square meals a day, Sai had started to turn down offers of third helpings; he had realized that horrible empty feeling in his stomach had finally gone away. He was, however, not ready to turn down any offers of seconds just yet; his fears of empty bellies in future could not be assuaged quite so easily. He fervently hoped that this fear would go away too in time, for he had such a great life already, even if there were some imperfections here and there.
One of these imperfections was Ogata. After their tiff in front of the shelter - an event that Sai still blamed himself for more than the Go pro - Ogata had promised he'd do better, and for the most part he did. Sai fully realized that having everything his own way was how the Ogata had lived all his life, and that considering another's feelings had not been much of an issue before Sai had come into it. He knew Ogata tried not to bully him, but once in a while the man just pushed him too hard. Whenever that happened, the blind man found himself in the unenviable potion of having to chastise his benefactor, knowing that he could lose all by doing so.
Yes, Ogata was his benefactor; he provided Sai with a home and he provided Sai with a job, which in turn provided Sai with more money than he ever had had in his life, or at least in the life he remembered.
So far, Ogata had taken seriously any rebuke Sai had given him whenever Ogata's behavior warranted it in the blind man's opinion. Ogata always promised to do better, and he always failed.
The biggest failure was the bi-monthly bout of drunkenness Ogata indulged in. That very first time Sai experienced it, Ogata had arrived home utterly sloshed and had forced Sai into a 'nice 'n' friendly game of Go.'
Sai had been frightened, having caught on to the Go pro's inebriated state too late - he had chided himself for not smelling the booze on the man sooner. Sai had been around plenty drunk men outside the shelter doors and really should have known better, but he hadn't been able to get away as the man had kept blocking his exit. So the former ghost had been forced to play the most ghastly game ever, feeling abjectly miserable throughout.
When, the next morning he had been unusually quiet in their morning routine, Ogata had asked him why, and Sai, wanting honesty between them, had told Ogata of his feelings. Ogata's reaction had been familiar; it was the same as with their first fight: an admission of guilt, and a promise to do better which the blind man had accepted.
But a few weeks later Ogata came home drunk again, reducing his promise to ashes. This time though, Sai was much faster in reading the situation and got out of the apartment before the titleholder could stop him. He spent a cold few hours on the windowsill of the topmost hallway of Ogata's apartment building, trying to stop himself from crying by mentally replaying two of his latest games with Touya Meijin at the same time. That may have been really good practice, but it couldn't totally take away the jitters of that night.
After the third time they went through the cycle of Ogata's drunken arrival, Sai's subsequent flight, and Ogata's profuse apologies and promises of betterment the next day, Sai had to face the fact that this behavior was a permanent thing with the titleholder, as was the 'kind' bullying, and the former ghost realized he had to either except the man as he was or leave his house. Since leaving was not a real option - if nothing else the blind man was in too deep a debt with the title holder - Sai stayed and made sure he was gone from the apartment on the few evenings a month that Ogata had his 'party'.
And this was why the blind man sat in the dark on a cold windowsill late one Sunday night in November. Sai had been lucky that he'd had a book in his bag that day and that he'd managed to snatch the bag before getting out. Or maybe it wasn't luck, but merely a premonition firmly based on past events that had made him keep his bag filled and close by for the last two evenings.
Anyway, he had his book and an apple to tide him over until he could head downstairs at no earlier than 4 am, and find his bed.
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The book fascinated him; it was about the history of Japan, and even if it mentioned the Heian period - his own period - only briefly, it was a very interesting read.
It was the book on Braille he had bought that had set him on the path towards many more books; it had introduced him to the Library for the Blind* which lent out books in Braille by mail, for free. All you needed was a postal address and you could borrow new books every week!
Before signing up for a library card, Sai had asked Ogata's permission to use his address as a mail drop. And the man had allowed it right away, saying he was happy to give his friend a chance to read.
Sai had been delighted when the first book arrived. It was a small catalog of the Library's most popular fictional titles accompanied by a section on non-fiction books that included the history book that he was reading now. There also had been a plastic disc in a paper sleeve, that Hikaru informed him was a CD. Sai had heard of CDs but had never held one, and he certainly did not have a player to play it on. That was what he had told Hikaru, who immediately dragged him to the mall to get one.
Playing the disc had been an eye-opener for him; it was full of news, spoken aloud, and especially geared to blind people's interests. One of the items mentioned was that Tokyo Historic Museum** was holding an exhibition on the entire history of Japan for the next 3 months. It was intended for grade school age children really, but it also turned out to be sympathetic to the blind as you were allowed to touch (replica) items of each period.
Sai so wanted to go, and whined - he still blushed at the thought of how he had whined! - at Hikaru to take him there next Wednesday, as he knew the boy had that day off as well. In the end Hikaru had given in, saying that only for his friend would he go to such a 'stupid kiddy exhibit'.
Sai was grateful, very grateful, that his friend would come to his aid. Hikaru really was his only link to the past and he hoped he'd be able to remember more with the added stimulus of the objects there.
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Sitting on the cold concrete windowsill, Sai was just finishing yet another chapter on civil war - Japan had had an abundance of those, it seemed - when a noise startled him: the click of high heels on the tiled landing.
'Who's there?' a female voice chimed from the direction the foot falls had indicated, a strong note of suspicion marring its tone.
Sai got up quickly, clutching the opened Braille book to him to prevent it from falling. He bowed and said, 'Fujiwara Sai, from downstairs, sorry to startle you, Miss.'
'Asano Miiki. What are you doing here so late and in the dark?!' the lady said, her tone now showing fear and anger too.
The blind man was startled again; he had not known it was dark up here. How could he have? And now, knowing it was dark here, he realized the picture he was making, that of a strange man lying in wait at a woman's door, ready to do whatever it was that nasty men did to nice women at 3 am in the dark.
'Oh!' he exclaimed, 'I meant no harm! I didn't know it was dark here; I'm blind, you see, and ... and I was reading my book...' he trailed off, knowing how lame he sounded.
'Blind?' she said the disbelief palpable in her voice. 'Step forward, where I can see you,' she commanded.
The lady's tone was very firm now, and Sai knew what was coming next; he had been in this situation before. This was where he got chucked out. Resigned to that fact he grabbed his bag from behind him, knowing he wouldn't be able to come back for it later. He put the strap over his head and hoisted the weighty book so it was wedged beneath one arm, while with the other he found the wall, needing it to guide him since his cane was still in his bag. He didn't dare cause more delay by getting it out.
He was inching forward along the wall, when Miss Asano snapped, 'Well hurry up, get into the light!'
'I'm sorry, Miss, I can't see the light,' he said, speeding up his gait, but not wanting to come too close to the lady. She might carry something she could hit him with; she sounded angry enough.
'Stop there!' she said, and Sai stopped in mid stride holding himself absolutely still.
'Look up.'
He hadn't realized he had let his head fall forward, but at her brusque command he lifted his head instantly. In front of him was the telltale displacement of air of a hand waving in front of his face.
'You live in this building?' she questioned him.
'Yes, Miss, number 304,' he answered promptly.
'You were reading you say; show me your book.' The tone left no room for argument, but still Sai hesitated; the book was not his but belonged to the library and if she took it away from him, he'd be in trouble with them for sure. Then he reminded himself he had a job now, and he could pay whatever fine the library would impose on him if he lost their property. He handed over the book.
Sai pushed himself even closer to the wall as he heard the swooshing of the pages being leafed through.
'Well, that certainly looks authentic enough,' the lady said, adding, 'You best go on home, it's late.'
'Yes, Miss. Thank you,' he added, taking the book back as she thrust it into his hand.
With a 'Good night, Miss,' he followed the wall towards the stairwell and exhaled when he heard her door open and close.
He went through the door to the stairwell before stopping to get his cane out. After checking the time - 3:35 am - he decided to chance going back to Ogata's apartment, hoping the man would be passed out on the couch by now.
As he made his way down the steps, he reflected on what had happened. He realized full well he couldn't sit on that particular windowsill for some time to come, and never again at night. There were quite a few more window seats in the hallways throughout the building; he'd have to find himself one elsewhere.
But moving to another seat would not prevent this from happening again; people would always be scared when surprised by ugly people like himself in the dark at night. If only he had known he had been sitting in a dark corner! The whole thing might not have happened if not for that. The blind man did understand about fear in the dark; he experienced it himself all day, every day, after all. He needed to find another, well lit, place to sit for next time, and that was a fact.
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He let himself into his friend's apartment as silently as possible some 5 minutes later, where he was greeted by loud snores coming from the living room couch. He sighed once in relief and proceeded to make himself ready for bed, taking care to give the couch a wide berth.
Another 10 minutes saw Sai in bed, letting the easing of the stress of the night's excursion lull him into a deep slumber.
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That Monday, like every Monday, was a working day, the last of his working week before he'd have Tuesday and Wednesday off.
On Mondays Touya-Meijin always booked all of Sai's time until two o'clock, as he did on Thursdays, that being the first day of Sai's working week. On Thursdays they'd play a very serious game that usually ran the full reserved period, with only a small tea break. But on Mondays they took it easy because Sai would be mentally tired from a full week of playing Go all day long.
Of course this particular Monday he was also physically tired from having lost half a night's sleep, and so he did his best to hide the yawns he just couldn't stop from coming. The Master Go player either hadn't noticed his fatigue or was too polite to mention it. The latter more like, considering Hikaru blurted out, 'Sai, you look like hell! Didn't you get any sleep last night?' the moment he spotted the blind man when Hikaru had come in the club at two.
The former ghost evaded the young pro's question, and effectively distracted him with the game Sai had played against the Meijin last Thursday that sat on one of the two the Gobans on the table. The other Goban held that NetGo game from years ago and all three Go players continued the game discussion, which the two older players had been having before Hikaru had arrived.
It was around the afternoon tea break that Ogata came into the club, his appearance heralded by a cloud of cigarette smoke.
It came across to Sai as rather rude when the titleholder only bothered to wait with his interruption long enough for a short silence to fall in the conversation, while the three players thought about an alternative to a decisive move that hadn't panned out for Sai in the newer game.
'Fujiwara, can I have word with you?' the gravelly voice sounded, sending a small smoke cloud into the blind man's face.
Sai sighed; he knew what this was about and he really felt too tired to listen to more apologies. Also he really was enjoying the game discussion, making it tempting to turn the man down, very tempting.
'Fujiwara-san, you go ahead. I'm sure Shindou-kun, Akira and myself can look at another game for a bit until you come back. You won't miss anything important,' the Meijin said.
Sai got up automatically, but as he stood he thought, /You're wrong, all Go is important, and I'll be missing it!/ shocking himself with his own anger.
He sat back down.
He knew anger was the worst thing to bring to a heart to heart; the chance of saying things you don't mean is just too great. And Sai was plenty angry right then, angry at Ogata for again putting him on the spot, angry at himself for letting Ogata put him there, and most of all angry that he had no choice but to take the titleholder's generosity, which he inevitably had to pay for by putting up with the man's controlling and selfish behavior. A righteous anger suddenly flared up at his own unkind thoughts towards the Go pro and he chided himself yet again for thinking such things.
Sai realized he needed to calm down before talking to anyone about anything, and to that end he said, 'I'm sorry, Ogata-san, I'm in the middle of a discussion right now, and I promised to play Hikaru next. So it will have to wait until later.'
What he said hadn't been rude really, but neither had it been very polite. It was all true however, and it was the best he felt he could do at the moment.
'Fujiwara,' Ogata started to say, but was interrupted by the arrival of Ichikawa with more tea and sweets.
The commotion of setting down the tray and handing out tea cups and cookies seemed to effectively stop Ogata from speaking further. And by the time Ichikawa left, the man had apparently done some thinking of his own. He said, 'Alright, later is fine,' and left it at that.
Sai let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and then turned back to the game discussion, uncomfortably ignoring the thick smoke producing presence of the Go pro for the rest of the afternoon.
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By the time dinner was over, Sai was absolutely exhausted; the sleepless night and the tension of the day had really done a number on him. And worse of all, he hadn't even had that talk with Ogata yet!
'Fujiwara, you look all done in. I think it's time to quit for today,' Touya Meijin said in a kindly tone, placing the refilled goke back on the Goban with a click.
He was right of course, but Sai didn't particularly want to go 'home' right now, as it would mean alone time with Ogata, and maybe he'd not even have a home to go to once they'd fought again.
/No. There mustn't be a fight,/ the blind man thought. He'd had enough of fighting and of the fear of losing all. But he did realize he'd not be able to put a confrontation off indefinitely.
'Alright,' he sighed, retrieving his cane-bundle from the table and slipping his bag's strap over his head before getting up. The air displacement and increase in cigarette smoke next to him alerted him to the sudden presence of the 10-dan at his elbow.
'Fujiwara, we still need to talk,' Ogata said, blowing a cloud of thick smoke in Sai's face.
The blind man turned to his oldest friend and the two members of the Touya family and bowed saying, 'Thank you for the games today and I'll see you on Thursday. And you on Wednesday, of course, Hikaru,' he added, not wanting his friend to think he had forgotten their trip.
The three all bade him a good night, but none of them said anything to the titleholder standing next him. Sai waited until the sounds of their footfalls had faded before turning back to Ogata. Before the other man could start speaking the blind man said, 'Let's not do this again,' exhaling in a loud sigh.
'Do what? Look, I'm s-,' Ogata started, but Sai interrupted him immediately, 'You're sorry, and you won't do it again, I know.' He flipped open his cane and turned in the direction of the exit, adding, 'We both know that you will, so let's leave it at that and go home; it's been a long day.' He started walking, keenly aware that Ogata hadn't moved at all.
This was a pivotal moment, Sai realized; the other man's reaction would make or break their relationship. The blind man knew he had reached the pinnacle of rudeness by just waltzing over Ogata's big moment of semi-sincere contrition. And he so hated being rude! But in dealing with the Go pro, he had learned that if he wanted Ogata to take notice, being rude was apparently inevitable.
It was when the former ghost heard Ogata's footfalls moving fast to catch up, that he let out the breath he'd been holding. And when Ogata overtook him to hold open the door for him, he knew it was going to be alright; Sai would have a home to go to tonight at least.
As he tapped his cane out in front of him, walking to the elevator that gave exit to the basement, he reflected that he felt like a ball that a willful boy - Ogata - kept bouncing against a wall for fun. What may be fun for the boy was not so much fun for the ball, for he felt bruised and tired.
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TBC
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* While I didn't make up Library for the Blind, I don't actually know that Tokyo has one or, if it does, that it works the way I described it. I based my description on my local version.
** Though Tokyo undoubtedly has museums, I made this Tokyo Historic Museum up. Again I based the description on a local version.
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