There were several times in Kyle's life where he'd been humiliated.
His first kiss somehow veering into her brother kicking the shit out of him at a school dance. Tripping and falling face-first into a podium when making a student council announcement in a packed auditorium. Practically anything that involved the presence of Eric Cartman.
But this… this was too much.
Holding the sleek technology in his hands, a piece of silver and blue snowflake giftwrap still clinging on by the end of a stubborn piece of Scotch tape, he was lost for words. He'd mentioned wanting this only in passing, that he was gonna save up from his job and buy himself this particular machinery. Eyes closing, he could still see that blaring, neon yellow price proclamation on the webpage he'd found nearly seven months ago: fucking $3600.
"Uh, Kyle?" a voice, soft and warm with the taste of peppermint schnapps and hot cocoa wound between them.
Kyle gulped, fingers clenching around his gift. He could feel his wrists tremoring, his cheeks flushing, his heart racing between adoration and embarrassment. Finally, green eyes forced themselves back open, settling uneasily on the slick, black lid of the laptop with the daunting strikes of red slashed through into the design. He inhaled, taking in the scent of worn leather furniture and antiquities scattered about underneath the daunting aroma of the massive pine taking up half the living room. He could feel rich, brown eyes taking him in cautiously, worried that he hadn't bought the laptop that Kyle had wanted. Kyle knew him well enough, knew he was hurriedly running over the return policy of the company, wondering if he could get the proper hardware delivered before New Years.
"I-" he finally said, words catching in his throat. A hand, dark and familiar, came up to his cheek, pushing his head back up and forcing their eyes to lock. Token almost flinched back at the marred mess on Kyle's face, his own falling further with the notion that he'd messed up. Kyle gulped, he had to stop that before Token goddamn beat himself up over nothing. "Token, it's too much," he finally said.
A pause fell between them before Token's lips quirked into a crooked smile, his fingers returning to his face and trailing up through fiery curls. "No, it's not," he assured him.
"Holy shit, yes, it is!" he insisted, looking between him and the computer, breath quickening in panic. "This is way too much!"
He shrugged, blissfully, or perhaps purposefully, ignorant of the moral quandaries sprinting through his boyfriend's mind. "We didn't set a price limit," he reminded him.
"I assumed it was implied we wouldn't go out of our minds here!" Kyle argued, voice cracking as his eyes flittered to Token's own present, still wrapped and waiting. A mere two-hundred and fifty dollars he'd spent, and only managing that price after a month of haggling. A pittance compared to what may as well have been sack of jewelry in his shaking hands.
He knew they shouldn't have done this. It was only their third holiday together, the first too close to their initial get-together to have any sense in buying gifts if they didn't even know if they would last more than a few months with one another and the second spent on opposite ends of the country with their families. But Token had wanted it, smack dab between Kyle's family wrapping up their Chanukah festivities and his own family creeping up towards Christmas in a matter of days. Made it their own thing, he'd told Kyle. Their mothers were already too involved in every aspect of their dating, they didn't need to spend the actual holidays at both of their houses dealing with their nonsense.
Token had planned it well, a nice, quiet dinner out while the rest of the town stayed home in a gift-wrapping frenzy and coming back to his place after his parents would be gone for his mother's company party. Kyle had expected nothing like this upon agreeing to exchange gifts, expected maybe a watch or something a little over a few hundred dollars that he'd give him a lecture over before they eventually stole away into Token's room and enjoyed the privacy. Token always went a bit overboard on gifts for him, but Kyle was woefully unprepared for this level of generosity.
Advantage: Token.
"But you wanted it," Token's voice broke through yet again, affectionately petting through tousled hair. He rounded down behind Kyle's ear, a proven way to calm his all-too-common temper.
Even such a comfort Kyle relished in on other occasions couldn't seem to break him out of his worries, his embarrassment. "I said I was saving up for it myself," he said quietly, anxiety unable to stop the automatic shift closer into his fingers.
"Well, now that money can go towards something else," he parried with ease. Token wasn't dumb, he knew Kyle wasn't expecting any exorbitant amount to be spent on him. But he'd also seen his face lighting up when he talked about finally getting it, how his rinky-dink six-year-old laptop was on its last legs and he wanted so badly to upgrade to a workable machine. Token had hoped that light would spring back into his eyes, not this level of guilt. "You've been needing to save up to fix your car, too," he reminded him.
Kyle's head ducked in the slightest. It was true, and a part of him couldn't help but feel stupid for thanking the stars Token hadn't just bought him a new goddamn vehicle instead. "I appreciate it," he assured him, shaky as his tone was. "But it's just… it's so much, Token."
He offered him no more than a one-shouldered shrug and a reassuring grin. "It's really not, Kyle. I got it for you because I know you'd use it all the time. It's not like it's something you'll use for like a week and then put away."
Well, he couldn't necessarily argue with that logic. "It was almost four grand, though," he said quietly, looking back down at its accusatory sheen and groaning under his breath.
Token sighed, flicking the side of his head lightly. "Kyle, pains me to say this out loud, and never tell anyone that I did, but it barely put a dent in my bank account. Stop freaking out over it and just enjoy it. Please," he begged. "I just wanted to make you happy."
"You could have done that with a Taco Bell gift card, Token," he lamented, looking back at him exhaustively. "It's bad enough you insist on paying for everything we do."
He shrugged, "I have the money to spare. And you pay for plenty of stuff we do-"
"When I pay the bill when you're away from the table," he reminded him, voice sharp. "Token, I love you, but I don't like-"
"Feeling dependent. I know," he cut him off with a snort. "Kyle, you're not. Otherwise I'd be paying your bills and you wouldn't be in a job you hate just trying to save up to get out. It's why I haven't offered to get us a damn apartment until you feel like you can take on half the bills. I know you better than that."
Kyle fell silent, another gulp receding down his throat. "An apartment?" he repeated softly.
Token paused, face beginning to heat with the realization of what he'd just blurted out. "Well. You know. If we… wanted to… do so," he worded carefully. "We're both ya know… tired of living with our moms…"
Kyle's eyes traced around the ornate décor of Token's family's living room. Token had had the funds to move out since they were eighteen and his parents revealed that he was coming into a hefty trust when he finished college. Once they were done, Token had moved back home, much to his mother's delight, and put the funds straight into his savings account and a variety of small-term investments. "You're waiting for me to be able to leave," he murmured, eying the tree so full of gold and burgundy glass bulbs and crystal icicles. "Aren't you?"
He hesitated, hand falling from Kyle's face to come back up and rub the back of his neck sheepishly. "…Yeah," he finally answered, cringing to himself. "I was gonna when I came back home and had enough for a place saved up… but we started dating and I figured I'd wait and see what happened with us." He cleared his throat, snatching his cocoa from the coffee table and taking a long sip, wishing the damn schnapps was stronger. "And when we… you know… got serious… I figured if I moved out, it'd be either with you or if we broke up for some reason. And I knew you'd want something in your price range to move to so…" he trailed off, taking on a hefty amount of Kyle's embarrassment.
Kyle's lips twisted, shifting and tearing off the last bit of wrapping paper from the laptop and casually tossing the trash onto the table. "Are you mad about that? Having to wait for me to have the money to get out?"
Token straightened up at the accusation, eyes wide. "What? No! Dude, I'm not blind, I know you don't have the resources I do. I'm not exactly suffering here," he gestured around at the obscene grandeur. "My mother annoys me, but I'm fine living here until we're ready for the next step. No offense, but if I was really impatient, I would have found someone… uh…"
"In your income bracket?" he asked, wincing.
Token leaned back, putting his face in his hand. "This is not at all how I pictured this conversation going."
Kyle nodded in agreement. He never considered taking the next step with Token to go in this manner either. "I didn't think you wanted that, honestly. You'd have to… really change your quality of life to meet me halfway with payments. I don't think you want a 400-a-month apartment in the boonies."
He looked back down, lips set firmly in a straight line. "Just because I have money, I don't spend it like I'll never run out," he reminded him. "I like spoiling you now-and-then, because what else do I have to spend it on? I don't want to spend it on other things. If I'm in the boonies with you, then fine. I'm not exactly running off to galas every other night or something, Kyle. I can't live off of my trust forever, it's why I have a job."
Kyle bit his lip, shrinking down. This felt like it could traipse towards either a fight or some everlasting declaration of love and commitment, but damn his anxiety trying to convince him it was moving towards the former. He didn't want that. He didn't want a relationship going so well to be decimated because of his damn pride. "I have the money," he muttered, cheeks flushing.
Token's stern look broke for one of confusion. "What?"
"I have… money," he fought out. "Not… a shit ton…. But enough for… maybe eight-ish months' rent somewhere sorta decent…" he looked away, feeling him trying to read him.
Token continued to stare, just bewildered. Kyle always told him he had less than $1000 in his account at all times. "I'm lost," he finally said.
Kyle sighed, putting the laptop off to the side and raking his fingers through his hair. "I've been putting away into my savings since high school," he elaborated, meeting his glance. "But that was always… ya know… 'don't touch' money unless I had an emergency… Until a few weeks ago," he winced. Token looked at him, silently prompting him to explain and he groaned, reaching over and snagging the gift he'd fought to wrap for the better part of twenty minutes before meeting Token for dinner, holding it out to him at an arm's length. "To buy this."
Token looked between the thick block in his hand and Kyle's shy expression, gently taking the offer from his fingers. A part of him wondered if he should touch it as he pulled it back towards himself, knowing just where the money had come from. He bit his cheek, gently tearing open the solid gold wrapping and finding himself holding a leather-bound book, hit with the scent of age. An ornate gold-leaf design speckled the cover, and Token turned to the spine to see a simple inscription of Dante. He looked up at Kyle, unable to form a question.
He shrugged sheepishly, scratching at his arm. "You uh, you said you wanted an old copy of The Divine Comedy when we were at the library on our first date," he reminded him, cheeks rivaling the burgundy ornaments. "That one is only from I think 1910, but it was the oldest I could afford."
Token couldn't help but smile, looking at the book fondly and running his fingers over the cover. "I wanted a book and you wanted a gaming computer. Kyle. I think it's time we admit the hard truth: We're fucking nerds." Kyle finally broke into a genuine laugh, nodding in agreement. Token waited for him to simmer a bit before continuing, "I can't believe you remembered that shit."
Kyle shrugged shyly, "It… surprised me," he admitted. "I mean, it's not like it's a rare story for people to like but… I dunno, I never pictured you as the type to like that stuff at the time. Or pictured you as having an interest in taking dates to libraries, I thought you just did that to try to impress me until you actually started talking about books you like."
"I did impress you, didn't I? Wooed you right into my room that night with my mad reading comprehension skills," he gave him a small wink, laughing as Kyle smirked and flipped him off. His laughter faltered a bit, "But… you shouldn't have taken out of your savings for me."
"Guess we both do stupid things for each other with our money," Kyle mumbled, looking at the laptop and back to him. "I wanted to," he assured him. "It was the only thing I could think of that was good enough to get you. It's one of the few things you don't have," he winced. "Which, it's surprising you don't already, by-the-by."
Token smirked, shrugging, "I told you, I don't spend my money like it's endless. I just spend it on what matters," he put his book aside, daintily enough to elicit a snort from Kyle before scooching forward on the couch and closing the distance between them. He leaned down, pressing his lips against Kyle's with a soft smile.
Kyle's eyes remained shut, smiling hazily and basking in the taste of peppermint and chocolate. "Gay," he grumbled, stealing another quick peck.
"Mhm," he concurred, running his hand up through Kyle's hair and petting the back of his scalp with his thumb. "So. You were… pretty specific about how many "months of rent" you have stashed away," he hinted.
Kyle opened his eyes, meeting that toasted stare and taking a long breath, nerves firing once more. "What happens when those months run out?"
Token smiled, "Then we shift the rent onto me and you handle the utility bills until we can meet in the middle again… or… my money turns into… our money."
He blinked, eyes widening at such a suggestion. "Wait, you're talkin' a joint account?"
He nodded, "Obviously only an option," he stressed. "But then we're both contributing to it and taking money from it. I'm not buying you lunch, we're buying us lunch, ya know? Can't tell exactly whose money is being spent when in that scenario."
Kyle gulped, moving and leaning his head against Token's chest, feeling his heart pounding in anticipation of his response. He hummed, snaking his arms around his waist and squeezing him, "You've thought about this a lot," he murmured.
Token chuckled, leaning his head onto Kyle's hair and nodding again. "Yeah. 'Bout a year now. You ever thought about us movin' in together?"
Kyle smiled, hiding his face against his sweater and shrugging. "Maybe."
"Maybe?" he teased, cupping under his chin and gently bringing him out of his covering.
He smirked, stealing another kiss. "Maybe… a lot. I mean who wouldn't want to come home to this?" he purred, fingers sneaking down and cupping against the front of his jeans. Token jerked into the contact, humming as he leaned down, pressing slow, wet kisses against Kyle's neck.
"So," he husked, throat rumbling with a moan as a confident palm stroked along his zipper. "Is that a yes?"
Kyle took a deep breath, tilting his head around Token's exploration and planting his mouth against his temple. "Only if you never buy me a $4000 gift again," he murmured. "Not unless there's a ring on this finger, Buddy. And even then, I'm gonna yell."
Token grinned, heart fluttering as he nipped at his collarbone. "I'll keep it in mind. How about we celebrate this decision and… get you to yell at me anyway?"
Kyle grinned, feeling at ease with the suggestion and tugging at his shirt impatiently. Token laughed, forcing himself to back from Kyle's teasing hand and stand off the couch, reaching down and taking Kyle's fingers in his own.
Kyle followed him through the living room, heart racing with the squeezes of his palm and the way Token so excitedly rushed him towards the stairs to his room. He turned his head for a moment, looking at the gifts left on the table and shook his head as he was torn from their view and taken up the steps. They were both just stupid. In too far over their heads sometimes when it came to making the other happy. Maybe there was no true middle ground. Maybe Token would always have that fiscal advantage, no matter how much their lives became a tangled mess of one another.
Walking into Token's room, however, and feeling Token immediately reattach himself to his neck, he couldn't help but smile in a doped-up mess of hormones and love. He supposed it didn't matter in the end. Leading him backwards until they collapsed onto his bed in a desperate mess of hands and saliva, Kyle could only figure one thing: Token may have the option to spoil him beyond his means, but he had his own indulging methodology. His hand went straight back to Token's pantline, meeting his famished gaze with a sly smirk.
Advantage: Kyle.
