Supernatural: The Movie

Summary: Sam and Dean stand in a line to see the Hollywood première of the movie based on Chuck's Supernatural books on Christmas Day and the oldest Winchester disagrees with some of the casting choices, while Sam gets a crush on someone famous. Set before Season Five ends.

Rated PG-13

Author's Notes: This is a humorous one-shot about how Hollywood sometimes chooses unique choices when casting for big budget movies and sometimes it doesn't live up to all the hype. Most of the actors listed below will be based on their box office appeal around 2009, and only a few, who I would personally pick. And I added in some funny ringers as well! This story is not to be taken seriously and will not completely follow the storylines from the show.

The term Evil-doers is from a President George Bush speech and I felt it was something that Hollywoodwould use in a movie title.

Thanks to deanstheman for taking the time to beta this for me awhile ago when I entered this in a contest and now I made other changes, so all errors are mine.

Metallica band members at one-time were: James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett, Jason Newsted.

I Do Not Own Supernatural; it belongs to Eric Kripke and the CW and I'm only using them for the entertainment of this story.

Supernatural: The Movie

The palm trees in Southern California were decorated with red and green garland wrapped around each one while plastic candy canes were scattered around them. Every street corner had either a tree lot or a jolly Santa ringing a bell to collect money for the needy.

Obviously, Tinseltown had the Christmas spirit, thus annoying one Dean Winchester.

Sam nervously watched his brother try to weave in and out of the heavy traffic. It was a warm Friday; therefore, Dean should've expected being stuck in the claustrophobic atmosphere. "Dude, we're not in a hurry so slow down."

"Uh, no," Dean huffed. "If we're not there in an hour or less, then we'll be stuck out here with moms heading to the malls and worse of all, school buses."

"Says who?"

"Says my new app." Dean replied.

"You have an app?"

Dean nodded, handing him the phone, "Its really cool…lets me know when the mall has peek times and when kids get outta school."

Sam smirked, "I guess that's what they call a Christmas miracle then."

"Shut up, Sammy."

"Well, what other apps do you have?" the youngest Winchester asked while scanning through the phone.

"Give it back!" Dean yelled while managing to keep a speed limit of thirty miles per hour.

Knowing that his brother is hiding something, Sam began to read out loud, "You have an app for weather, road conditions…necessary for our line of work. You have one for Busty Asian Beauties, gross but not surprising…hmm, one for Dr. Sexy M.D…again, not shocked." Sam paused, trying to compose himself. "Uh, you have ones for Rate Your Sexual Performance and Irritable Bowel Syndrome Diet & Exercises?"

"I said give it back!"

Sam tossed it to him, "Is there something you need to tell me about your umm, bowels?"

Dean glared at him as the car stopped at a red light. "I will never, ever have anything to say about my bowels…I thought it was an app for bowling…you know, that game that you think is a real sport."

"Yeah right, anyone could mistake bowel for bowling," Sam mocked. "Oh, by the way, bowling is a real sport."

"Yeah, right, anyone could mistake bowling for a real sport," Dean mocked while Sam made that bitch face.

The duo spent several minutes in silence until Sam cleared his throat, "Well, what do you want for Christmas since its tomorrow?"

"I dunno…maybe a good night's sleep since its kinda cold here in LA."

"Okay, it'll be my treat then." Sam said, holding out his hand for Dean's phone, "I suspect you have an app for five-star hotels."

Dean smiled, "Nah, just one for three-stars."

Sam laughed and soon found a hotel not too far away. However, once they pulled onto the street, both were shocked to see a bowling alley nearby.

"I honestly had no idea that was even here," the tall brunette admitted.

"Yeah, right."

"I swear, I didn't," Sam sincerely stated, adding his puppy-eyed look.

Dean sighed, knowing he was defeated as he always gave in to that look. "Fine, but you're still paying for the room and it better have a comfy bed."

"Comfy?"

"Shut up, Sammy!"

Sam laughed as they grabbed their bags and headed inside to check-in. Both were amazed by the large lobby: to the left was a white leather sofa in front of a sparking fire while a large tree was decorated with Christmas items as many colorful presents surrounded it.

Bing Crosby was singing White Christmas in the background as other guests sang along or drank eggnog.

To the right was the check-in desk, which was decorated with silver garland, while a young woman with long black hair wearing a red Santa hat smiled at them and waved them over, "Merry Christmas, I'm Santa's helper, Ariel...how can I help you?"

"Merry Christmas, Ariel. Well, my brother and I were looking for a comfy room for tonight as where in town for the Supernatural movie première." Sam said, instantly earning a glare from Dean.

"I have tickets to the big event too!" she exclaimed.

"Maybe we could hook-up afterwards?" Dean replied with a flirtatious smile.

"Oh, you silly willy…you're funny." Ariel remarked as she proceeded to check them in with Sam's fake information. "I'll hafta tell my mom about you when I get home …she's about your age too."

Sam laughed out loud, "Dude, she really got ya!"

"Yeah Sam, I know that, but thanks for pointing it out to me and all the other people in the freaking lobby!" Dean huffed as Sam took the keycard.

The pair was very surprised at the room as it was decorated in for the holiday. And to make it even more festive, on the eating table was a gingerbread house surrounded by homemade fudge.

"Wow!" Dean exclaimed, immediately running to it. "These taste awesome!"

Before Sam could eat some, the phone rang. Dean sat down to gobble down more as his brother finished his phone call.

"Well, Ariel invited us to come down to the dining room for a Christmas feast and then Santa will sing carols with us around the tree."

Dean scrunched up his face, "Man, that sounds like Hell…and I've been to Hell so I know."

"I know, but they're having turkey and all the trimmings…thought you'd want to pig-out since they have seven types of pies too." Sam stated as his sibling's eyes began to bug out.

"What are we waiting for?" Dean questioned, walking towards the door. "C'mon, Sammy…pies are waiting for us!"

After the fulfilling evening was over, the brothers went back to their room for a peaceful night's sleep and dreamt of candy canes along gingerbread houses.

The next afternoon, Dean parked his Impala down the street from Grauman's Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard, which was all decked-out for the holidays. Sam sighed as his brother fed the meter, closing his laptop. Dean then opened the back door and slid onto the seat.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam questioned as he turned around.

"What does it look like, Sam?" Dean replied, closing his eyes.

"You can't take a nap now, because we need to go get in line," the younger brother huffed in exasperation. "Even though we have tickets, they are expecting almost a million people to show up tonight."

"A million people for a stupid movie…really?" Dean asked skeptically, opening one eye.

"Yeah, since it's gonna be the biggest movie of all time," Sam declared. "I mean, the cast alone is incredibly historic."

"The casting is so stupid in this movie…what were they thinking?"

"I think the casting is perfect…Ben Affleck is just right." Sam stated, opening his laptop again.

"Really, Sammy?" Dean questioned, "He's an asinine choice."

"Well, apparently, I'm the lead in this…I think he's uh…good choice." Sam remarked, while reading the screen on his laptop.

"How can you be the lead, when I'm clearly the obvious choice?" Dean said, immediately adding, "I'm the oldest; the smartest and I'm much better looking."

"Yeah, right…you're all of those things," Sam mocked. "And on the official Supernatural: Brothers vs Evil-doers website, it clearly says- staring Ben Affleck and Matt Damon…note that Ben's name is listed first. He gets top billing so that means Sam is the star."

"Whatever," Dean sulked. "Who else is in this dumb-ass movie?"

"Here, watch the trailer," Sam suggested, handing him the laptop.

Dean slightly sat up, watching the screen as the narration began…

Supernatural: Brothers vs Evil-doers:

A Warner Bros Production Opening Christmas Day

Two good-looking brothers drive around in a used Humvee listening to popular music of today while hunting demons, terrorists and space aliens at the same time while trying to save innocent people and to repair their broken, yet co-dependent relationship. Add a bit of spice like daddy issues, betrayal, childhood trauma and emotional dependency, and you have the makings of an epic tale of two brothers, bound by tragedy and blood to their mission, travelling across the world encountering terrifying and dangerous forces most believe to be nothing but superstition and folklore.

Screenplay Written By: Eric Kripke, Kissa Cazador and Carver Edlund

Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Produced By: Eric Kripke, McG, Jerry Wanek, Jim Michaels and Philip Sgriccia.

Original Music By: Lady Gaga; The Black Eyed Peas; Rihanna; Taylor Swift; Beyonce; and Pitbull

Based on 'Supernatural' Books Written By: Carver Edlund

Starring:

Ben Affleck as Sam

Matt Damon as Dean

Tom Cruise as Castiel

Jeff Bridges as Bobby

George Clooney as Zachariah

Will Smith as Henricksen

Laurence Fishburne as Rufus

Robert Downey Jr as Gabriel

Brad Pitt as Lucifer

Sandra Bullock as Ellen

Lindsay Lohan as Jo

Christian Bale as Crowley

Tom Hanks as Raphael

Denzel Washington as Uriel

Javier Bardem as John

Cameron Diaz as Mary

Shia LaBeouf as Adam

Matthew McConaughey as Ash

Angelina Jolie as Pamela

Harrison Ford as Samuel

Calista Flockhart as Deanna

Williem Dafoe as Alastair

Jack Nicholson as Azazel

and Johnny Depp as Death

Co-starring:

Zac Efron as Young John

Kaley Cuoco as Young Mary

Alexander Gould as Young Sam

Hunter Parrish as Young Dean

Adrianne Palicki as Tessa

Anna Faris as Jessica

Elijah Wood as Harry

Seth Green as Ed

Jessica Alba as Lisa

Megan Fox as Ruby

Jennifer Garner as Meg

Danneel Harris as Becky

Kate Hudson as Lilith

Isla Fisher as Anna

Nicole Richie as Paris/Leshii

Drew Barrymore as Karen

with Julia Roberts as Jody

and Seth Rogen as Chuck/Carver and The Narrator

The oldest Winchester slammed the laptop shut. "Whoa, whoa…the casting's totally wrong!" Dean complained, "I mean…Maxim Magazine hottie Danneel Harris as fan girl Becky…really? Tom Hanks as Raphael….C'mon, seriously? The dude isn't even black? Plus, I think Adrianne Palicki should be Jessica, not Tessa. And the music…who are those people?"

"It's just a movie, Dean. Looks don't hafta be 100% accurate," Sam remarked, taking back his computer. "Although Ben Affleck is."

"Sammy, you're really into having Affleck play ya, so what is it…a man-crush?" Dean playfully questioned.

"You got one hour 'til we need to be in line, so stop complaining and rest." Sam suggested, watching the trailer again.

Once they were in line, television crews began to set up and the females in line were chanting "Team Dean" and "Team Sam" making both brothers uncomfortable.

A few hours later, the main event began. The lights shone down on the red carpet as spectacular fireworks went off, causing the enormous crowd to cheer.

"Happy Holidays and welcome to the world première movie event of Supernatural: Brothers vs Evil-doers, I'm Brian Williams, along with Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira. Thank you for joining us here on a special edition of NBC's Dateline. Right now, let's join Meredith as she interviews fans in line waiting to see their heroes on the big screen."

"Thanks, Brian, so who here is a Dean girl?" Meredith loudly asked as half the line cheered. "Okay then, who, besides me, is a Sam girl?" The other half cheered, making her smile brighter.

Meredith walked over to interview two of the females standing near the brothers, "Well, gals, you didn't cheer for either brother, so who's team are ya on?"

"We're Team Castiel!" The duo shouted, earning cheers from the crowd. One of the women added, "He was definitely the best character in all of the books and Tom Cruise will carry this movie as well!"

Dean huffed, "Yeah, right…clueless chicks."

The interviewer then shoved her microphone into the oldest Winchester's face, "Well, whose team are you on?"

"Aww, lady, I'm on no one's team." Dean responded but quickly added, "However, Dean is definitely the best and most important character in this movie, so I guess I'm on Dean's team."

The crowd went wild and began chanting again as she asked Sam a question. "Since the crowd is mostly females, why are you attracted to these characters?"

"Well, Meredith, I'm connected with Sam because I feel his pain about being different yet loyal to his unique lifestyle and of course, to his older brother…his hero."

Sam's sincere words made the crowd cry out for him as Dean looked him over. Meredith wiped a tear falling and smiled at the young man. "That was very well said…in fact, it reminded me a great deal of Sam. I'll let Matt take over now so I can compose myself."

"Thanks, Meredith," Matt Lauer said, walking up and down the long line. The Today Show host interviewed many women, including some Matt Damon bashers, "Well Matt, I think he was a horrible choice and they should've gotten Jensen Ackles…the actor who played Eric Brady on Days of our Lives."

"No!" A woman shouted. "No way! He's too pretty-boy looking."

"Yeah, he looks too much like a gay Ken doll!" screamed another disgruntled fan.

"I don't know who that is, so why don't we move on," Matt said, scanning the audience again.

The crowd went on to cheer for all of the celebrities arriving on the festive red carpet. Within a couple of hours, the line slowly stared to move. Sam could feel his sibling watching him and that made him very uncomfortable.

"Dean, if you have something to say, then say it," Sam remarked as both faced forward.

"I honestly don't know what to say…" Dean said disbelievingly. "…I'm your hero?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, of course, you are…didn't you always know that?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Nah, I didn't know and it means…a lot, uh, thanks. This was the best Christmas present ever."

"Merry Christmas, Dean."

"Yeah Sam, Merry Christmas."

A female attendant with long blonde hair took their tickets, "Oh, Mr. Kirk Hetfield, Mr. Jason Ulrich…you're being seated in one of the boxes." The duo followed her up the stairs as she led them into a private booth. The brothers were extremely shocked to see who was in there as they slowly sat down.

"Sammy, that's uh…Jason Bourne!" Dean whispered excitingly, trying to sneak a peak of the famous actor. "And, there's your lover boy… oh! and his totally hot wife."

Sam glanced to see Ben Affleck seated next to Jennifer Garner and it caused him to be self-conscious. "Oh no, I think he saw me."

Dean looked to see Ben and Jennifer waving and he waved back. "Sammy, don't be jealous, but I think your boyfriend has the hots for me."

Suddenly, the door opened and Chuck walked in with Steven Spielberg and his wife, Kate Capshaw. "Dudes…glad you could make it," he grinned at them.

Sam and Dean stood looking over their so-called friend. He was dressed in designer clothes, completely shaven with a buzz-cut… looking nothing like his old alcoholic, neurotic self.

"I wanna introduce you to my friends, Stevie and Katie Spielberg," Chuck said, embarrassing the brothers. "And these are my best friends, Jason and Kirk."

The famous director held out his hand to be shook. "Well any friends of Carver's, are friends of ours." The duo shook his hand excitedly, turning crimson in the process.

Tom Hanks and his wife, Rita Wilson, walked up behind them. "Carver, it's good to see you, my friend," Tom passionately said while pulling the writer into a big hug.

"Tommy, these are my best friends, Jason and Kirk." Chuck replied, with a big smile. Tom took turns hugging each Winchester.

"Uh, Mr. Hanks, I think it's awesome that you were cast as Raphael," Dean quietly remarked as Sam gave him that famous bitch face look.

"Thanks, it was a terrific role and please, call me Tommy," he replied, lightly smacking Dean on the back and making him slightly blush.

Before Dean could ask Chuck to introduce them to others, Ben and Jennifer appeared right before the stunned brothers.

"Carver, it's great to see you," Ben said, his arms wrapped lovingly around his wife. "How was your honeymoon?"

"Super…she's the most exquisite, talented, gorgeous female on this planet and she should be here in a few," Chuck replied with loving words about his new bride. "Uh, guys, these are my best friends, Jason and Kirk."

"I know exactly who they are!" Ben shrieked. "I guess these were your inspirations for Sam and Dean…right?"

"Yup," Chuck replied, not adding anything else since he feared retribution from the brothers soon.

"I knew it!" Affleck exclaimed. "See, honey, I told ya so."

"Yeah, hun, you did," Jennifer answered with a smile. "It's an honor to meet the men behind those fabulous books."

Dean noticed his brother not moving and feared it might be having a stroke or something. "Ben, Jenn…could ya pose for a quick pic with my brother here?" he asked with a sly smirk.

"Of course!" both cheerfully said in unison.

Dean took the photo despite his brother's glaring expression and thanked them. Sam still hadn't said a word as he was in complete shock. In fact, as all the stars walked in, Sam never said a word.

The lights briefly flickered on and off as everyone now took their assigned seats. The door opened up one last time, causing Chuck to yell, "Over here, baby!"

Sam and Dean both turned to see someone truly unexpected kiss the author. "Baby, these are my best friends, Jason and Kirk," the attractive brunette smiled at them. "And guys, this is my beautiful bride, Miss Nancy McKeon."

The rest of the night, Dean tried to watch the movie, but often got distracted by Chuck and Nancy making out. It was a childhood fantasy for him to make out with one Jo Polniaczek as well, since The Facts of Life was a big deal during his entry to puberty.

Meanwhile, Sam was more focused on Ben Affleck than the film and often caught the actor glancing over as well. Sam would never admit it, but he did have a man-crush and he had it bad. The only thing that was more confusing was, how in the hell did Chuck end up with his teenage fantasy gal and was it a real Christmas miracle…or was it something supernatural?

The End…or is it?

Author's Notes: I want to thank everyone for reading this and if you do take the time to review, please state who you would want to play Sam and Dean in a movie. And Happy Holidays!