Crucial Thoughts by Baalsgirl

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate:SG-1 or any of the series' characters ( a pity if you ask me...). But I own the story line and some small, but important characters,

Season: 6 (Because the story is linked with "Abyss" a bit and to give Jonas a little chance to appear again...)

Rating: PG-13 (oh-oh...)

Pairings: Sam/Jack

Summary: Sam has lost her memory and is deliberately serving Baal. Fine so far, but this doesn't mean Jack wouldn't search her and finally he gets to her of course. But it seams as if she has really forgotten about him. Though somewhere deep inside her memories are already on fire bubbling up again...

Chapter 1 - Lo'ta

"Jack!" her scream filled the night, she shot up sweating. What had just happened? She could not explain it, fear was overcoming her.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, it was Leah. "It's alright, Samantha, it was just a nightmare. Get back to sleep, it's an important day for you tomorrow."

Samantha nodded and lay down again. For the rest of the night she slept peacefully.

The next morning she woke up very early; it seemed as if every single part of her knew how important this day was for her.

She got up and washed her hands and face as every morning, then she waited for Leah who had promised to take care of the dress she would wear today.

And finally, after about half an hour of waiting Leah arrived carrying the dress in her arms.

"It's so beautiful", Samantha smiled.

"No?" the older servant returned her smile, "If you don't look gorgeous enough in it to please our lord, I wouldn't know what to say."

Samantha got up from the edge of the bed. "Our lord ...", she pondered, "Leah, you've never told me how he actually is. I mean, is he cruel? Is he moody? I'm so nervous. He's the first Goa'uld I'll ever meet..."

(AN: Total blackout ?! But don't worry, chances look good she'll regain things during the story...)

"Well, child; Lord Baal can be very impulsive", Leah sighed, "but I strongly believe that he'll like you. Since he was notified of your arrival he has taken keen interest in you. I didn't wonder much as he has considered you as a possible new Lo'ta. And maybe he'll choose you today", she added with a bright smile.

Samantha blushed a bit, "Do you really think? I still have no idea how to behave in front of him."

"It's best to be quiet as long as you're not asked to speak", Leah advised her, "But now we'd better get you dressed. Our lord can be very impatient."

After the de-briefing of their latest mission Jack O'Neill and Teal'C remained in the conference room talking.

"I still believe that we'll find Sam", Jack stated sounding more desperate than he wanted to, "What do you think?"

"O'Neill, we gave up searching Major Carter almost a month ago. Forgive me, but I am not that optimistic concerning this matter. There's a great many of planets where she could be stranded", Teal'C returned.

"Let's just hope the people there are friendly", Jack sighed rising from the table, "Do you mind if I don't join you for supper tonight?"

"I do not", the Jaffa stood up as well. He knew exactly what his comrade was going to right now and that it was best to leave him enough space for himself and his thoughts, "I see you tomorrow, O'Neill."

He nodded, "All right, Teal'C, see you, then", a short moment later he was gone.

"I can't accompany you further than this. The rest you'll have to accomplish on your own.", Leah said leaving Samantha alone in the hallway leading to the throne room.

Samantha knew the way she had to take and with a nervous feeling tensing her body she went on. After a short while she reached her destination. In front of the huge doors she tried collected herself once again, then she nodded at one of the guards to let her in.

As the door closed behind her she had to wince, but she did not stop slowly walking on keeping her eyes fixed to the floor. Short in front of the pedestal the throne was standing on, she fell to her knees bowing deeply.

"I've been waiting for you", the sound of his voice made Samantha freeze, "Look up when I'm talking to you."

She lifted her upper body and raised her head, but still Samantha did not dare to look up.

"Better", Baal got down from the pedestal and circled her once coming to a stop right in front of her. He raised her chin with his hand. "Beautiful", he stated letting go of her again.

Samantha blushed a bit trying to hide it as good as she could.

"Tell me your name."

"Samantha, my lord", she brought out quietly.

"You know what I'm expecting from you?"

"Yes, my lord", she quickly bit her lip calming herself.

"I won't allow any kind of failure", he lectured her, "if I should get to know about any unfaithfulness, I will not show mercy with you. Do you understand that?"

"Perfectly", Samantha felt a cold shower running down her back.

"Good", the Goa'uld paused for a moment that felt like eternity to her.

"I will give you a chance to prove yourself as my personal servant. Don't disappoint me."

Samantha did not know what to say until she managed to bow once again bringing out a soft, "Thank you for your trust, my lord."

But then she did not dare to get up from her knees again until he finally allowed her to rise dismissing her.

Leah was pacing through the room nervously as Samantha returned.

"And?" she almost jumped at her younger friend so excited was she, "How did it go?"

"He gives me a chance", Samantha informed her with an eased smile on her face.

"That's... great", Leah embraced her, "you've just reached what I've always dreamed to be."

"I know, but somehow it feels so ... strange", Samantha sighed.

"Oh, come on", the older woman calmed her, "I'm sure you can fill Sha'lan's place. Poor girl, her sacrilege will never be forgotten."

(AN: Remember her, our Miss "Is this you?" ?)

"She did it", Samantha muttered to herself, "because she loved..."

"What?" Leah shot her a worried glance.

"Nothing", she replied quickly, afraid of these words she had just spoken; she had no idea where they had come from.

Okay, so far, I hope I didn't bore anybody and you're forgiving me my slight Baal-craze.

But, hey that's what finally came out of the whole poem idea and I think it's much better and easier extend. You?