Ezra looked through the hallway window down at a broken Kallus in the Phoenix Home medical room with Sabine, Hera, Kanan, and Zeb beside him along with the medical droid. He was a attached to a lot of machines, different beeping was going on around him. There were so many bandages all over his body that they could barely see any skin. As Ezra stood there, he was uncomfortable and he felt as though he was going to be sick as he stared at all the injuries and remembered what the medical droid had listed when Zeb reluctantly asked it.
Over forty significant, deep cuts that would leave harsh scars that were made carefully to give pain but not bleed too much.
Burn marks from the electrocutions that would leave permanent scarring on his wrists.
A broken collar bone.
Four broken ribs.
A sprained wrist.
A collapsed lung.
A concussion.
A black and swelled over eye.
And worse of all: the interrogation droid had cut off all his fingers and had taken out his other eye but had done so crudely so that there were bandages over it to help heal the open wounds so they wouldn't get an infection.
All injuries were from an interrogation droid, under the command of Thrawn except for the sprained wrist. That was from Kallus twisting up the wrong way enough when he was being electrocuted in the cuffs.
All of this to try and extract information about the Rebellion from him.
Of which, they never got. There were no attacks, none of their secret outposts exposed. Sato had confirmed that nothing had hacked their system and there haven't been any attacks on any ships.
Kallus never broke.
Zeb had been the one to carry him out of the interrogation room and back to the Ghost, where they quickly brought him back to Phoenix Home. The Ghost Crew and a couple other squadrons were tasked with the rescue mission with some pilots as backup if things had gone south and they need the extra men in the air to counter a defence attack. Because Kallus was on enemy lines, he would make a connection with Sato every week so that the Captain knew that Fulcrum wasn't taken into interrogation by Thrawn. When he missed the weekly connection, something that had never happened before and Kallus had mentioned that he wanted to set up a new connection time because he thought that Pryce was getting too suspicious, Sato didn't want to take a chance. It had come to an attack trying to get Kallus out, but the rescue mission was a success.
When Ezra and Sabine had first seen him in the room they both had suddenly stopped. They had never seen Kallus so broken. There was blood on the floor, dripping from him, bruises all over him, cuts on his face, the horrible black eye…
When Zeb had carried him Kallus looked even smaller, more frail and child-like. The way his arms limped, how his stomach just seemed to fold like paper as Zeb carrying him made both of them feel something that they never thought they would feel towards someone like Kallus, even if he was the new Fulcrum. What used to be an enemy had never reminded them so much as a broken, abused child watching as Zeb gently lifted him to not cause any more pain, but Kallus hissed lightly anyway.
And looking at him in the medical bed now, seeing all the injuries. They could barely see his face between the bandage over his missing eye, the black eye, and the tubes around his face that went in his nose. Kallus wasn't a monster at all like they believed. That old thought completely vanished in all of the Ghost Crew's heads when they saw him like this. Kallus was human. He had looked human being carried to the Ghost and he had looked human when Chopper took over the controls so Hera could start patching up the worse of the injuries.
Ezra and Sabine reflected on him, going back to the interrogation room in their minds. Kallus had never told Thrawn or Pryce anything despite being through the depths of the worse of Mustafar Not one word. Sato would have known because there would have been attacks and Kallus wouldn't have been highly guarded if he had.
Despite everything, every once of pain Kallus went through, losing his eye and losing his fingers, he did not once betray them.
He head earned all of their respect, no matter what their history with each other was.
The medical droid was changing the bandages on some of his cuts and reapplying bacta cream, which was barely helping anything, so that they wouldn't get infected. They watched as he finished talking with Sato, the Captain then leaving the room.
As Sato went past them, he raised an eyebrow towards them.
"If you wish to speak with him you may…" he said, not knowing why else they may be watching him. But he could take the guess that they were as shocked about the wounds as he had been when first seeing Kallus in patchwork.
The crew didn't say anything back to Sato before he left. They stood in silent, wondering what they actually were doing here.
Soon after, without a word, Zeb entered the hospital room and went towards Kallus's bed before the others followed suit. Kallus opened his swelled eye just enough to see who it was. He smiled slightly as he watched Zeb take the seat where Sato was before.
"Ah, I was hoping I would see you." Kallus told them, his voice not sounding like his. It was weak and rasped. "I wasn't able to give a proper thank you on the Ghost."
Considering that he kept almost passing out from pain of being moved, the crew didn't mind.
Hera was the first to speak and she took a step closer.
"We're sorry we didn't get their sooner," Hera told him, her voice a little weak. She had been through so many rebellions in the Clone Wars with her father, but she had never seen anything like this. Kallus wasn't interrogated, he was tortured for information. She never had the biggest resentment against Kallus, but she wasn't usually fighting him face to face like the others and he hadn't started a massacre on her planet. She found it easier than the others to accept Kallus as part of the rebellion and to face him like this. He wasn't an old enemy, he was someone who was ready to sacrifice himself for the rebellion.
"Don't be," Kallus muttered, his voice still gravel-like from screaming so much in the past week. "I knew what I was getting into when I became Fulcrum. I knew this would happen if I got caught…though I didn't think I would keep this many limbs by the end."
The crew's brows furrowed and all of them felt a tightness in their chest. There was sorrow and pain, but also indifference in Kallus's voice. But none of them knew what to say. The first part was one thing, where he said he knew, but the last was…painful to hear. Kallus had thought about going through this before. He signed up for this title and knew the risks of what came with it. But to hear how he expected what happened to him to be worse and to accept it was heart breaking.
"It's bad enough, though," Zeb told him. The Lasat remembered carrying him on that ice moon to a few hours ago. He wouldn't admit to the crew then or after Kallus came out as Fulcrum that they had made somewhat of an acquaintance, or at least something vaguely resembling one. But when he heard Kallus was being interrogated, he didn't think he would feel so…upset or angry at seeing Kallus like that. However no one thought it was going to be that bad.
Kallus made something that almost resembled a shrug, but it was hard with all his injuries and the crew was sure that every muscle in his body ached. He closed his eye as keeping it open put a strain on the black, swelled skin around it.
"Thrawn is sadistic. So is Pryce for that matter. I knew that when Thrawn realized there was a spy among the Empire that he wouldn't hold back when he knew who it was. I knew what he would do to try and extract information from me when he knew. He wanted information and to keep me in contact with you, under his control of course, so he could lead you into traps, to know where cells were." Kallus answered.
"But you didn't say anything." Kanan commented.
"No." Kallus answered, "not one thing. It got to a point where I wouldn't deny it. I would just be silent. There was some satisfaction in knowing that Thrawn hated it and it was a great annoyance that he had to keep dealing with. He couldn't kill me and it annoyed him."
The others smiled slightly, glad that some of Kallus's humour wasn't completely gone after what happened.
"The medical droids and doctors are really good here," Hera told him. "They'll get you back on your feet in no time."
Kallus nodded, grunting slightly.
"I know," he answered. "Sato told me that they are finding a lung donor for surgery and that they have a cybernetic eye and prothetic fingers are ready for me."
"That's some good news at least." Kanan told him.
"I guess." Kallus answered.
Kanan and Hera could tell that Kallus was wanting some time alone, or at least without the crowd. Kanan cleared his throat.
"Uh, Sabine and Zeb don't you have some chores on the Ghost you need to do?" Kanan asked, "and Ezra, we should go through some more training."
They understood the hint and the two teens nodded, but Zeb stayed where he was.
"I'll be here for a couple more minutes," Zeb told them. It wasn't that he didn't understand the hint, but there was something he wanted to talk to Kallus about and he thought that it would be the perfect time if the rest of the crew wasn't there to overhear.
Although very confused, the other four agreed to leave. Ezra and Sabine looked behind them at the doorway before going through, shutting it behind them.
The med room was silent after that, the two men not saying anything although Kallus could feel Zeb's eyes on him.
"Is there something you wish to say?" Kallus asked him.
Zeb grunted and folded his arms across his chest.
"You want to tell me why you are holding some kind of pity party for yourself?" Zen asked.
"I'm not holding a 'pity party', I'm holding a realistic view. I knew that this was going to happen and I knew that if I was there longer I would have more injuries as Thrawn made his build up." Kallus answered almost casually.
"I'm not talking about that. There's something else, something else that's getting to you. Like….like you think you deserve this." Zeb answered.
Kallus's answer surprised him.
"Don't I?" Kallus answered.
Zeb's anger sparked inside.
"You think that by joining the rebellion that you deserved to be tortured?!" Zeb asked him.
Kallus shook his head, wincing slightly from the motion.
"No," he answered. "I deserve it for being a part of the Empire in the first place."
The Lasat narrowed his eyes at him, though Kallus couldn't see it. After a moment, the Lasat rolled his eyes.
"If you are so upset at yourself by joining the Empire in the first place then why did you do it?" Zeb asked.
"I got into this because of my father," Kallus told him simply before chuckling, then hissing from the pain of doing so. Zeb stared at him, surprised by the answer and not knowing what to do but listen. "You think I have a stick up my ass? Or annoying. My father is ten times what I am….I never liked him much anyhow. I only went into becoming a government Agent just to make him and my mother shut up about it. We're a military family. My father was a security guard for Emperor Palpatine back in the Clone Wars, my older brother and younger sister are both Agents, their kids in the business too….He always pressured us since we were kids and I never thought of any other realistic option. What else was I supposed to do? Run a restaurant. That definitely didn't fit me. My father pressured me into training, into courses, into the grades…but I hate the man. My father is a bastard and my mother is not that much better. Both of them congratulated me about what happened on Lasan. They said that I made them proud, that I deserved my Agent title…"
Bringing up the event sent a turning in Zeb's stomach, as it always did when he thought of it. Some anger came in too and he didn't know if it was just from thinking about the event or from how Kallus's parents were congratulating him about what happened.
"I don't care about him anymore. I'm dead to him anyway by now. I'm sure Thrawn contacted him about my portrayal. He'd shoot me dead between the eyes if he ever sees me again." Kallus commented.
Zeb didn't know what to say to that. His own father died when he was a kit, but he remembered that he was a good dad, who supported Zeb and was there every night to help him to bed or when he was ill. And his Ma was a good woman who always helped and supported him. He had great parents and Zeb could only pity in his disconnection with what Kallus had experienced. He never had that. He didn't know what that was like but he was sure the pressure had been hard.
"If they led and you followed then why did you get involved in the rebellion?" Zeb asked him.
"I kept trying to say that I did the right thing, that I was a good soldier for following and fighting for the Empire. I didn't want to believe what I had done. I pushed those feelings down and tried to ignore them. And I got angry…angry at myself and it became directed at others. I tried to be what my dad wanted. I lied and said everything I was doing was fine," Kallus answered. "And then you tipped the scales on that moon."
Zeb raised his eyebrows, surprised. He had always thought after Ezra spared them the news that he had something to do with recruiting Kallus, but he never knew for sure.
"You saved me and I knew I was on the wrong side. I couldn't deny it anymore because I got to know the rebellion more personally and because if you could help save me and at least partially forgive me for what I had done when I know the Empire wouldn't ever do the same, I stopped pushing down those feelings and I did something about it. But that doesn't mean that I have forgotten what I've done."
"I thought you said that what happened on Lasan wasn't meant to be a massacre," Zeb told him.
Kallus nodded silently.
"It was like a runaway train," Kallus answered, his voice low. "I can't even remember how it all played out, but someone got the idea rolling and by the time I found out it was like an overplayed mob mentality. It got out of my hands…I should have done more."
"I doubt you could." Zeb told him, remembering what happened so vividly in his mind. The chaos, the violence…Kallus was right. It was almost like a mob. Things were somewhat peaceful and in a matter of hours it was a 180. Talking with Kallus on the moon and now Zeb didn't have anything against him for it anymore. It wasn't his fault and seeing him take this for the rebellion and still not speak a word of it to Thawn made Zeb respect him a lot more.
Kallus brought him out of his thoughts and he listened to the bedridden man again.
"I could have tried harder." Kallus answered, "I was in charge. I should have had a better handle on things, but I was still new to the title, I didn't know how to hold the crowd right, the mission was too much for me at the time…"
"You were inexperienced and things got out of control. Even with experience I'm sure there wasn't anything you could do." Zeb told him. "Whatever you've done, that doesn't mean that you deserve what happened in that interrogation room." He'd be damned if he was going to allow someone, even Kallus, to think like that.
"You don't know what I've done." Kallus told him.
"You didn't want to get into this. You were forced to." Zeb told him, "you were pressured by your family. I know what that feels like."
"It doesn't matter. I did those things. I deserve this." Kallus said.
"Don't say that," Zeb told him firmly.
"I'm not saying that Lasan was the tip of the iceberg because that was one of the worse things that I was a part of, but I've done some other pretty horrible things." Kallus told him, "things that I won't ever forgive myself for."
"You don't need to forgive yourself," Zeb said, "but you can change to do what's right. You can make up for it by trying to stop the people who were a part of it so that it doesn't happen again."
Kallus nodded again, "why do you think I'm Fulcrum?"
Zeb grinned a little. He nodded and told Kallus: "I'll let you get some rest before you go into surgery."
"Thank you again, Zeb." Kallus told him. As the Lasat left the med bay, he thought of how odd it was hearing his shortened name from Kallus.
